Awake or asleep, neither state mattered. My everything hurt, no matter where or when I was. I should have known that having every atom of your being rearranged and teleported by the God of Chaos would hurt. I never expected it to hurt this much. I had a migraine that could put down two Alicorns at once and maybe give a third a headache. I didn't even dare open my eyes until the pain had abated from "Kill me now" to "Why, Celestia, why."
Even then I took it slow. Squinting them open a millimeter at a time until I could see my surroundings. Everything was tilted ninety degrees, but that may have been because I was laying on my side. The view was completely unfamiliar. My body had gone from burning with the heat of a thousand fiery suns to completely numb. Grimacing, I took a deep breath and blew something blue and green out of my vision only to have it flop back into place.
I tentatively tried to move a limb and heard it scrape across the grass. I made to grab the offending mass of color with my fingers but paused as something odd appeared in my vision. Instead of a pale white hand, a soft purple hoof appeared. I looked around but saw no pony attached to it, so I tried to move this peculiar appendage. It responded and I groaned, coming slowly to a realization. I attempted to roll to my up so I could make it my left and after a few tries, I managed to succeed.
Sitting there, I took stock of my situation. The area around me was unfamiliar, forested, but not the well-kept forests of Equestria nor the untamed wilds of the Everfree. It seemed to have once been maintained by ponies, but now abandoned for some reason. I squirmed, getting my new foursome of legs underneath me and sighing. So far, today had been the worst day of my entire stay here in Ponyville, even including the week where I couldn't leave the bathroom and almost decided to just walk into the Everfree to end it all at the stinger of a manticore.
It had started when I woke up to the sound of rain on the roof, only to look out and see Rainbow Dash chasing a pink cloud across the sky as brown liquid rolled down the window. All I could do was sigh, turn around as Pinkie galloped out the door and say to myself, "It begins."
I wanted to stay inside, but I knew I could probably do something to help around town as Chaos began its reign. Once the girls were off to Canterlot, I was left to assist in making sure that everypony had shelter in case it got worse. How I wished I had been allowed to prevent this, but who knew what would happen if I had mucked up the timeline. It was during this time that I felt something appear behind me. Turning, I beheld the infamous Draconequus himself. Without the filter of children's television, he was absolutely terrifying. Mismatched, ugly, and the smell.
He chuckled and smiled at me, "Well, well, well. A human! I haven't seen one of you since just before I was turned to stone. It's always a pleasure. You people are so chaotic! Hm, and you yourself seem to have some power as well. I-"
I interrupted, my first mistake of the day, "You're Discord, 'God' of Chaos and wannabe Q. I have nothing to say to you. Twilight and her friends will beat you. I know."
He laughed more and floated around me, "Now, listen here, human. I've already stuck the girls in a little challenge, and I have to say, they're proving far more entertaining than I'd hoped. I hope you can do the same. Hmm, well, since you know how this story goes," he paused for effect while I backed away slowly, "Let's find out how your own flows, shall we?"
With a snap of his fingers I felt like I was being torn apart. The last thing I heard was his laughter. Now I'm here, as a pony, a pegasus if the wings on my sides were any indication, and lost somewhere I'd never seen, "Would it have killed you to give me a map, Q?!" I shouted to the air.
"You keep calling me that," came his disembodied voice before he appeared on a tree limb, "I think I like it. Now, you don't need a map to find your way back, just a little lift."
"So I need to learn how to fly."
He chuckled, "Or climb trees with hooves, which would be much more amusing! I'll give you the same hint I gave your friends. You'll find 'it' back where this began."
"It? What is it?"
Another low chuckle as he pulled a cheshire cat, "You'll find out, my little pony."
I grumbled and slowly started to stand up, taking my time and finding a point of balance between my four hooves. It took a while, but I managed to do it. The next problem became figuring out how my wings worked. I looked back and tried to figure out how to move them, managing a weak flap and a few other awkward motions before I started to lose my balance. They snapped open reflexively to steady me and I sighed. This was going to take a while. Another realization came to me at this point. My wings were rather small. Come to think of it, my everything was small. I groaned and sat back down, burying my face in my hooves and crying my little foal heart out. Not only had that damnable demon made me a pony so I had to get used to an entirely new body, the [edited for younger audiences] made me a foal!
I'm not sure how long I lay there in the grass sobbing. It could have been minutes, hours, or days. It was impossible to tell with Discord messing with the day/night cycle. Once I had no more tears left, I tried to get to my hooves again. Once I was up, I began to experiment with walking. I couldn't for the life of me remember how ponies did it. I never really watched how they walked, so I was at a loss. I tried a few tentative steps and quickly found myself on my face with a squeak. I'm sure if anypony were watching they would have found it cute and funny, at least until I started cursing. I got back up and tried again, gaining speed too quickly and galloping into the woods. The old adage, that you have to run before you can walk, seemed to apply here, however I had no idea where I was going until I hit a root and began to tumble down a hill.
I bounced down onto a flat outcropping and luckily stopped before I fell over the cliff. Looking out at the view before me, I saw a familiar white building leaning out of the side of a mountain, "Hah, I didn't need to fly, just get a good view!" I smiled slightly. I was still a filly; I was covered in dirt, leaves, and scratches; my nose was clogged and my eyes were red and puffy from crying, but by Celestia I knew where I needed to go. Canterlot. He said where this began. That narrows it down to his statue, or... wait, no, the Elements were in the library so...
I paused, lost in thought as to where 'this' had begun. My story? Where did that begin? Back on Earth, a lifetime ago.
'You know, you really are a dumbass sometimes.'
'Ah, Kes, good to know you're still in there...'
'Look, I'll make this easy, your story begins where you had tea with Luna. Find Luna, find that room. I still don't know what 'it' is though'
'Hopefully 'it' is my adulthood, functional wings, and the ability to kick Discord in the face.'
'Hah! Well get moving, filly. We're burning day... Moon... day... I hate that mutt...' her voice grumbled as the sun and moon continued to change places more often than attendees at the mad hatter's tea party.
I nodded to myself and started to look for a way down the cliff. As long as I didn't get turned around once I was at a lower elevation, finding Canterlot shouldn't be too hard. I had no idea what Discord would have waiting for me in that forest.