My New Life In Equestria

by MaxBeezy


Rarity's Date

A lot can improve in a couple weeks’ time. My first week in Ponyville was the strangest, most accident prone time of my life. I never thought in my wildest imagination, that it would ever get any better. By some miracle, either because I became more cautious, or that whatever deity that these ponies worshiped (on retrospect, probably Celestia) liked me, the next couple weeks was as pleasant as they ever could have been. Did I still find my way into an accident? Sure, but at the very worst, it would be a low hanging branch at Sweet Apple Acres.

Living with Twilight improved substantially; we didn’t get into many disagreements, and whatever disagreements we had didn’t result in me getting my dumb ass thrown out of the house. Applejack finally gave me that tour of her farm and land, once I gathered enough courage to go back to her injury causing relatives. Luckily, they were well behaved, and I left the place relatively unscathed. Getting a good look at the land, I marveled at how beautiful it was, and looked forward to working there once Applebucking Season came along.

I baked all kind of tasty treats with Pinkie Pie, who enjoyed my company. I tried my hand at baking, to arguably mixed results. I started out rather horribly at first, but I eventually made passable foods. At least, I believe it’s passable. Pinkie Pie gobbles it up either way, and doesn’t vomit her guts out, so it’s something. Fluttershy and Rainbow Dash still managed to be inseparable every time I saw them. Then again, I always managed to catch them on the days where Fluttershy would cheer on Rainbow Dash, and she continued flying in the skies. Dialogues haven’t been forming between me and the bunny Angel though; he still tries to kick me every chance he gets.

As for Rarity…well…lately, she was being kind of a recluse. I tried to see her on multiple occasions, but we never talked for more than a couple minutes at a time, before she would proclaim that she was busy, and would talk to me later. It was a shame, as I never did properly thank her for all the work she did, making me clothes during my time. Sure, it only took her all of an hour to make said clothes, but I wanted to thank her either way, whether through helping her out, or just having a few chats.

However, there was no time to find a way to thank her at that moment, because Twilight was making me look for books in her library.

“What’s it called again?” I asked, as I looked over every inch of the bookshelf she directed me to.

“For the millionth time, it’s called ‘The Mysteries of Magic. Volume 3.’”

“There’s three volumes of this?!” I shrugged it off, and continued looking.

Outside, I could hear various chatter coming from the distance. Peering out the window, I could see reporters gathered around Carousel Boutique. Needless to say, it got my attention.

“Twilight? What’s with all the reporters outside of Rarity’s?”

Twilight looked out the window. She was as surprised as I was,

“Huh. I didn’t expect them to be there so early.”

“What do you mean?”

“You know Hoity Toity?” I give her a look that screamed out ‘really?’. “Right, he’s some famous fashion pony. He’s doing a show in Canterlot gardens, showing various outfits according to the seasons, and Rarity was picked out to do the winter line up.”

“So THAT’s why she’s been so busy lately. Here I thought she didn’t like me.”

“Of course she likes you. She wouldn’t have made your clothes if she didn’t like you.”

“True, but I never got to spend any time with her after that. At least I know why.” I go back to searching for that elusive book, when a thought entered my brain. “Clothing line…you know, that reminds me…what’s the point of clothes in this world, anyway?”

“To keep you from being naked, for one.” Twilight laughed.

“Yeah, but I’m mainly talking about you ponies. I’ve barely seen one article of clothing from any of you, aside from Appejack’s hat.”

“The other cities in Equestria are very clothing heavy. The outfits that Rarity makes are mostly for them, though she makes stuff for us every so often.”

“So…what you’re saying is…Ponyville is a nudist colony?” I say with a smirk.

“I beg your pardon…nudist colony?”

“You ponies don’t wear much clothes, so essentially…you’re all naked.”

“We’re not naked. Not in the slightest. That would be very strange…and distracting.”

“That’s funny.” I don’t believe her, “Next, you’re going to tell me that you’re all wearing suits that appear invisible to idiots.”

“Huh?”

“Nevermind." I said, figuring that there wasn't a pony version of The Emperor's New Clothes in her library. "Good for Rarity, though. Still, as long as those reporters stay on her, and not on me, I’ll be fine.”

POOF! In a bright flash of light, Rarity has teleported into the middle of the house! She looks around in a panic, ignoring Twilight’s look of shock, and looks straight at me. At the time, I had no clue why in Equestria she was looking at me with those crazed eyes.

“Matt!” she calls out, galloping over to me, “I’m so sorry about this!”

“Sorry about wh…”

I couldn’t finish my question, as she put her hooves on me, and in yet another blinding flash of light, I found myself inside Carousel Boutique, with Rarity, and a wall of reporters, who have floated their microphones and cameras in my face.

“Mr. Williams! How does it feel to be Rarity’s date to the Fashion Gala?”

I was frozen. Not only am I instantly camera shy, but the question that was asked of me was something I never expected to hear…ever. Rarity’s date? Why would she even consider me that? I calmly collected myself, and was completely cool.

“WHAT?!”

Or not.

I feel Rarity wrap a hoof around my shoulder, and using another hoof to gently caress my chest in a loving manner. I looked at her dancing hoof, and her face multiple times.

“I’m deeply sorry about all this, but my…Boyfriend here is a little camera shy. If you have any questions, feel free to ask me.”

“How did you two fall in love?” one reporter asked.

“Was it at first sight?” another one butted in.

“Well…” she says with a chuckle, “I found him to be a complete charmer when I first met him. After spending so much time with each other, we just knew that it was meant to be!”

“But, wouldn’t him being a human be seen as a little…abnormal, amongst the community? How do you feel about that?”

“I admit, I thought of the idea of having relations with him being weird, but once we finally got into bed…”

I had enough. I broke away from the embrace, my face red with embarrassment, and a few other emotions, and started to push the crowd away with all of my might.

“Okay! That’s enough questions for today!” I shouted, continuing to push them out the door, as they shouted even more questions. The voices all came together, making their speech incomprehensible. “Thank you! Have a good day! BYE!” I slammed the door, and locked it multiple times, before quickly shooting a look straight at Rarity. “WHAT IN ALL THAT IS HOLY HAVE YOU DONE?!”

“I said I was sorry!”

“Sorry for what? Pretending that not only am I your date for this Fashion Gala, but also that I’m in a physical relationship with you?! Who publicly puts that on the news?!”

“I didn’t know what else to do! I panicked! They were going on and on about how this Gala was all about appearances and they prodded me with questions about who my date was going to be!”

“And so you chose me?!” I questioned, “Of all the stallions in Ponyville…you chose me… the human?!”

“I’m not sure if you noticed lately, but there are not a lot of stallions here to choose from!”

I look outside, and was caught off guard to see that she was absolutely right! Sure, the town had stallions, but they were either taken, or a bunch of weirdos. I even saw that jelly obsessed pony walking around, covered in jelly…naturally.

“Okay, I suppose you have a point.”

“Besides, if I went out with a stallion, I would just be another pony at the show, but with YOU…it’s more…exotic…controversial…dangerous.”

“Words that no female would have ever used to describe going out with me…if they were remotely interested.” I say quietly to myself. “So, what you’re saying is…that I’m pretty much arm candy?”

“Well, if you want to be cold about it…yeah. So, are you in?”

“Ummmm….no.”

“What?” she exclaims in disappointment, “Why not?”

“I just got over the whole Lyra business, I don’t need any more attention in my life.” It’s true. After that incident, the numerous paparazzi became less numerous, and as the second week was dying down, they all disappeared.

“Come on, you have to go! Don’t you like me?”

“Rarity…” I chuckle, “It’s not a question of if I like you or not. I like you, and I’m happy for you, I really am, but parties are…not for me.”

“That’s a bunch of hogwash! You like Pinkie Pie’s parties! Remember Rainbow Dash’s birthday last week?”

“I do, and that was fun. But…a party where fashion style ponies get together to talk about dresses and stuff? It’s a little too frou-frou for my tastes.”

“Ugh, I never!” she sounds offended, “What we do is not frou-frou!”

“Sorry, but I cannot go.” I turn to the door, ready to leave.

“You have to go! Or else…or else I’ll be ruined!”

I turn back to Rarity, she had the look of desperation on her face.

“What are you going on about?”

“I promised them that you would be there. Anypony who is anypony will be at that Gala, and if they find out that I lied, and was nothing but a single pony who fabricated the truth to get attention…then my career as a fashionista will be over!”

“Are the press really that terrible here?”

“Yes! They’re the worst! You have to come with me, you just have to!”

If I was a completely heartless bastard, I would have said ‘too bad’ and walked right out the door. The consequences could be dire; she would have been mocked, I would have lost a friend, maybe more, if the others reacted to my rejection harshly. I had no other choice. I sighed, and then walked back to her, kneeling down.

“Okay. I’ll go with you.”

“YES!” she shouted, as she jumped up and down. “You won’t regret this! Thank you!”

“Wait…” I said. She stopped hopping. “What’s in it for me?”

“Well…” she thought about it for a few moments, “We get to hang out together. I know that we haven’t been hanging out as much as the others.”

“Okay, that’s a plus. What else?”

“You get to be my boyfriend. So we can do couple things. Like hold…hooves, laugh at each other’s jokes, and occasional pecks on the cheek.”

“Interesting. What else?”

“What else is there?” she wondered. I raise my eyebrow at her. She is still very confused. “I’m not sure what you’re getting at, darling.”

“I kind of need a suit to wear.”

“Oh right, a suit…” she pauses, then remembers. “A SUIT! OF COURSE! I HAVE TO MAKE YOU A SUIT!”

“You said you wanted to make me one, someday. Here’s your chance.”

“Yes! Yes! I’m going to get right on it! Come back first thing tomorrow! You won’t be disappointed!”

“Don’t you need to take my measurements?”

“Nope! Got them in my head. See you tomorrow!” she trots off to her workroom, leaving me alone in the room.

“What about the press?” I hear nothing coming from her room. However, I can still hear the reporters outside, continuing to shout their obscene questions.

I made it to Twilight’s, after charging through the reporters like a quarterback at the superbowl. I quickly opened the door, and then slammed it shut. I heard a variety of thuds on the door. Undoubtedly, the reporters slammed against the door, and have knocked themselves out. I heard very few questions being asked after that, so it was safe to assume they still lied on the ground.

Twilight looked up from her reading (she found the book while I was away), surprised at my dramatic arrival.

“What happened to you?”

“Looks like I’m going to the Fashion Show.”


The next morning, after a nice breakfast, I went straight over to Rarity’s. Opening the door, I didn’t see her inside, like I normally would, but it was unlocked, so she must have been expecting me to arrive.

“Rarity?” I called out.

“In a moment, dear. Just putting on the finishing touches.” I hear her say from behind the door to her work area. A few moments pass, and she comes out, floating up a folded stack of clothes. “Here you are. All ready to go.” I look at her appearance; eyes slightly baggy, her hair a bit unkempt.

“Did you spend all night making this for me?”

“No…I mean yes…probably. Some of my designs weren’t panning out, so I had to start from scratch a few times. Plus Opal was being more trouble than she was worth, making me start over again and again.”

“Opal?”

“My cat. Can you please take these? I’m a little tired.”

“Yeah, certainly. I’m sorry.” I take the clothes. She exhaled in relief.

“Thank you. You can go try them on in the dressing room. I just need to take a little nap.”

I nod, and walk past her towards the dressing room. Before I could step inside, I heard a thunk on the floor. Looking back, I see Rarity slumped down, fast asleep. The poor mare, I wasn’t going to leave her like that. Carefully, I put the clothes down, and picked her up, bringing her over to a nearby couch, gently putting her down. I locked the door to the shop, so she wouldn’t be disturbed, and went back to the dressing room.

Placing the clothes on the small table in the room, I took note of the ensemble. It was a fine black suit, with hints of stripes on the jacket and pants. A red vest, with a matching red tie, and a purple dress shirt, all made with some very fine silk. She even took the liberty of making me shoes for the event. I wasn’t much of a fashion guru; back at home, I would watch an episode or two of this show called Project Runway, but I wasn’t a very good judge of clothes. Nevertheless, this looked like a very stylish suit.

Trying it on, I was amazed on how Rarity adapted to my new measurements. Being in Equestria for three weeks, and I have already gotten a lot thinner than my original frame. The silk felt good on my skin, and nothing felt too tight, or too loose. I looked in the mirror and studied my look. I never would have thought something like this would look good on me, but Rarity sure thought so, and she was right. I was like some sort of fashionable secret agent, only not quite as dashing. Now, I was really going to have to do something to thank for all the work she had done.

It wasn’t until I started getting dressed into my normal attire, when Rarity began to wake up. She was initially surprised that she found herself lying on the couch.

“Wha? How did I get here?”

“You passed out on the floor.” I walked out, suit in hand, “I wasn’t going to leave you laying there like a throw rug.”

“That’s sweet of you, darling, but this wouldn’t be the first time I fell asleep on my floor after an all-nighter. Besides, it’s all nice and clean.”

“Yes, well…the suit fit perfectly, by the way.”

“Really? I can’t believe I missed it! Let me see!”

“When’s the show?”

“Tomorrow night.”

“Then you’ll see it tomorrow night.”

“Aww…you’re no fun!”

“Thanks for this. I’ll try to find some way to repay you.”

“You’re coming with me. That’s more than enough.”

“No it isn’t. I’ll think of something. I promise. I’ll see you tomorrow.”

I leave the boutique, and plow through yet another wave of reporters. Those guys never quit, do they?


The next twenty four hours, was listening to Twilight constantly making kissy faces at me, in an attempt to annoy me about going on a date with Rarity. Despite my insistence that it was all for show, she still was making those faces. Her goal to annoy me was working, and I covered my face with another Daring Do book. Speaking of which, Daring Do and The Griffon’s Goblet was a really good book, ended up spending most of my time reading the whole thing.

Next evening fell, and as the clock winded down, I started to get ready for the night’s event. I took an extra-long bath to smell nice for all the ponies that I’m sure will be judging me, slicked my hair back, and shaved that beard that was forming on my face. If this sounds really boring, that’s because it kind of was. I still had to make a good impression, even if Twilight was standing outside the bathroom, chanting about me and Rarity kissing in trees. Where was Spike, you might ask? He was none too pleased about this development, and spent most of the day, glaring at me in the corner. I guess the little dragon had a bit of a thing going for the fashion pony.

I came out with my suit, rather impressed that it looked even better, now that I am clean…and clean shaven. Just as I did, somepony came knocking on the door. Twilight answered it, and behind the door was a chauffeur pony, waiting to escort me and Rarity to the show.

After my goodbyes, I went into the carriage, where Rarity was waiting for me. She looked positively stunning…for a pony. She wore a sleek silver dress, adorned with beautiful sapphire diamonds. My jaw nearly dropped, but for the first time ever, I managed to keep my professionalism in check.

“You look nice.” See? I totally did this time!

“As do you.” she reaches out a hoof, “Aren’t you going to greet me in a more proper manner?”

“You’re really going all out to sell this, aren’t you?” I smirked.

“As much as I can. Now, come on.” She shakes her hoof in front of me. I take her hoof, and give it a small kiss. She giggles in amusement. “Ha! I can’t believe I got you to do that!”

“Try not to enjoy this too much, Rarity.”

The two of us spent the lengthy carriage ride catching up on all the shenanigans I got myself into. She enjoyed listening to my tales of injury and pain, finding every mishap a barrel of laughs. The only story I hadn’t, and to this day never told, was the one between me and Chrysalis. I agreed to never speak of it again, and dammit, I was going to keep that promise. Though, in a way, I’m breaking that promise now, since you know about it.

We got to the show in about an hour. The moment the door opened, we were bombarded by flashing lights, and more incomprehensible questions. I kept my eyes on Rarity, who was geeking out at being in such a show, and looking at all the celebrities that were there. I had no idea who any of them were, but since she was so transfixed, I couldn’t really complain. We were escorted into the building, and there were much less (meaning zero) cameras trying to take away our eyesight, inside the complex.

That didn’t stop us from being bombarded by other ponies, however.

“Ah. Miss Rarity! How delightful to see you again!” one fancy looking pony with a mustache and a monocle said, “And who is this fine looking gentleman? I say, is he the human that was caught having relations with another pony?” Oh god, not even this fancypants pony was safe from the tabloids.

Rarity had a good chuckle before…”Yes, this is him. Matt? I would like you to meet Fancypants.”

What? His name actually was Fancypants? Points for originality, I suppose. I shake his hoof.

“It’s a pleasure to meet you, young colt…I’m sorry…what do they refer to you where you come from?”

“You were close. Where I come from, it’s ‘young man’.”

“Ah! Perfect! You were right, I was close! It’s a pleasure to meet you….young man!” he and the other ponies around him had a chortle, like what he said was funny. It was amusing at the very best. He puts a foreleg onto a nearby mare, pushing her forward to me. “Allow me to introduce my beautiful marefriend…Fleur De Lis.” he brings her in closer, “Careful Fleur, this young man might try to sweep you off your hooves!” They all guffaw again.

“Good evening Fleur, and don’t worry, Rarity will be the hooves I’ll be sweeping tonight. Right?” I look over at Rarity. To my surprise, she seems rather down. “Rarity?” She perks back up.

“What? Oh, yes! He most certainly will!” she inches closer to me, back into her happy mood. That was weird. We all made our way through the building, where the show was going to be.

For the next couple of hours, it was all me, all the time. Everypony wanted to talk to me, ask me about my world, what humans were like, and if there was anything like them where I came from. I also met this aforementioned Hoity Toity, who reminded me of all those snobbish types I encountered during my days in film school. I did what I could to keep a happy face, even if it was getting a little exhausting for me.

What became noticeable over time, was how little attention Rarity was getting. It was almost like she was getting pushed into the background, and any attempts by me to bring her back into the forefront, was met by the ponies changing the subject back to me.

I was the life of the party…yet I didn’t want to be.

The show was starting in minutes, and I managed to push my way past the crowd, and to the table, where Rarity was already sitting at, drinking a glass of dandelion wine. I sit down next to her, inspecting her disappointed face.

“Hey, are you okay?”

“Oh, I’m fine. Just…having a little déjà vu, that’s all.”

“Déjà vu?”

“It’s nothing, dear. I’m quite alright. How are you getting along with your new friends?”

“They’re okay, I guess. Honestly, I’m more concerned about you.”

“Why would you do something like that?”

“Because, this is supposed to be your night. You’re supposed to be the star, and it’s starting to feel like you’re merely a cameo.”

“Matt…” she doesn’t get another word out, as the lights dim, and some catchy techno music blares from the speakers.

Everypony takes their seats, as Hoity Toity steps out onto the stage, complete with flashing lights, and a fog machine, to make his entrance seem more dramatic.

“Welcome everypony, to the centennial Fashion Gala!” Applause in the form of hooves stepping on the ground at a rapid pace, come from the guests. “This year, we shall be showing you our new lines, coming from four talented individuals, showcasing the four seasons in the year!” More applause. “Now, let the show begin!”

Spring came first, which was a very nice line. Very in tune with the more naturly side of the season. Then summer, which was more like looking at swimsuits and short shorts, than something I would catch myself wearing (if I had hooves) during that season. Then fall, which was more casual, yet still unmistakably stylish, so that it would appear to cost an arm and a leg to get.

Then came winter, Rarity’s line. Though I may not be much of a fashion person, combined with being a little biased when it came to friends, her line was the most eye catching of the group. I hadn’t seen what she could truly do, outside of my suit, clothes, and the dress she was wearing, but she was totally a very talented pony.

The presentation took about ten minutes, and ended with numerous applause by everypony in the room. Hoity Toity came out, and called out each of the designers to the stage. Rarity got up, and went onstage with the others. Toity told the press to ask each of the designers questions, by order of the line.

The first three designers got very standard questions. Ones that I would normally see back on TV, like inspirations, idols, things like that. They were well spoken, and seemed to know what they were talking about.

Rarity’s questions, on the other hand…were a bit more maddening. Specifically, they all had to do with me. To see her onstage, being asked questions not related to her work, which is plain to see on that stage in all its glory, was starting to piss me off royally. She was getting increasingly more upset with each question, and though she tried to keep on her more pleasant face, I could see that she was going to up and leave that stage in minutes.

I couldn’t take it anymore.

“OKAY STOP!” I screamed. After one reporter asked about her opinion on my hygiene. I pushed past the ponies, and climbed on stage, so mad that I wasn’t going to bother taking the stairs. I rushed to the microphone, grabbing it from the magical grip of Hoity Toity,

“Sorry Mr. Toity…” I apologized. He harrumphed at my unorthodox action. “But I can’t just sit around, and let you reporters ask Ms. Rarity such retarded questions!” The ponies gasped, and murmured amongst themselves. “Look at yourselves…better yet…look at the work that’s on that stage!” I point to her fashion line, “Look at how wonderful, and beautiful it is! And instead of asking this pony…” I turn to Rarity, whose wide eyed expression of surprise was unwavering, “How she came to be such a flawlessly talented individual…you ask her about me!” I walk over to her, as I continue my speech.

“I get it, I’m the first human here, I know you’re all curious, but that doesn’t give you the right to push what really matters tonight to the side! I came here tonight, in support of this mare.” I put an arm around her, “I personally don’t find fashion all that interesting, but I came here, because she wanted me to. She even made this suit for me, for god’s sake, and it’s an awesome suit!” They murmur some more. I look over at Rarity, who is smiling. “She deserves as much attention as these fine ponies on stage with us tonight. So, I’m going to give this mic back to Mr. Toity over there, and remove myself from the stage. When I do, you ask Rarity the right questions. If any of you try to change the subject back to me, let’s just say I won’t be happy. Deal?” The reporters nod rapidly.

“Now…” I walk over to Hoity “I re-introduce…Miss Rarity…” I hand the mic back over to Hoity, and walk back to my table. Sitting down, I look back at her, and see her mouth the words ‘Thank you’ to me, which brought a smile to my face.

This time, they asked the right questions.


During the ride back home, Rarity couldn't stop thanking me for my interruption of those crazy ponies, asking those offensive questions. I tried to brush it off, being a whole gentleman about it, but she wouldn’t change the subject. She ended her little speech about my kindness, with a big hug, one that nearly crushed my ribs, if she got any tighter.

We got home, and I paid the chauffeur a couple bits, saying that I could walk home from there. He thanked me, and went off to parts unknown.

“Well…” I started, “Tonight was…interesting.”

“I cannot thank you enough, for everything that you did. I just wanted to strangle those ponies!”

“You thanked me enough back in the carriage. I think I need an ice pack for my ribs, after that.” We chuckled.

“Did you really mean what you said about me?”

“Every word. You’re amazingly talented, Rarity. More than I could ever be.”

“That’s not true…”

“Of course it is. Tell me to make a suit, and I’ll more than likely burn the place down.” We both share a laugh. Just then, I see a blush grace her cheeks.

“Would you…like to come inside…for a drink?”

I smirk, and then kneel down to her level.

“That sounds…awfully tempting. But I've seen enough stories to know where that leads. One drink will become two, two will become many, and then…mistakes could be made.”

“You’re probably right.” she puts a hoof on my shoulder, “You’re a good friend, Matt. And I would hate to complicate things. Can't blame a girl for trying, though.” We chuckle.

“Not at all. I’ll see you around, Rarity. Maybe I’ll come by, and help you out sometime.”

“That would be lovely.” I stand to leave. “Wait! You’re still my date. It’s customary to give your date a kiss goodnight.”

“Is it, now? Are you sure you’re not trying to…”

“Oh no! Definitely not.”

“But…this was all a sham anyway.”

“So? I told you that I was going to sell this for all it’s worth, even if there are no other ponies around. It doesn’t have to mean anything. Just…imagine me as someone you actually want.” She makes a flawed argument, but who was I to not indulge her?

“Okay.” I kneel back down, “Someone I really want, huh?” I think to myself, “That can’t be too hard.” I put a hand on her cheek.

“No holding back now, okay?” she closes her eyes.

“Yes ma’am.” I lean in and kiss her. It’s not like what I’ve normally had. With tongues forcefully invading my mouth, and all that weird stuff. Actually, there was no tongue at all. Just a nice soft warm kiss. After a couple extra seconds, we part. She gave off a slight giggle.

“I can’t believe I got you to do that. So… who did you imagine?”

“Just somepony I’m interested in.”

I get up, and started my trek back home. I hear Rarity call out to me.

“What? I said somebody! You said somepony! Who is it? Matt? Tell me!”

I don’t answer. I give her a wave goodbye, and keep on walking. I wonder if she’ll figure it out eventually.

Spoiler alert for you, dear reader…it’s not her.