//------------------------------//
// Derpy 
// Story: Bathtime for Ponies 
// by Derpsanddinks404 
//------------------------------//

       With the tub full of warm water, you smile and call for the young mailmare, ready for the funny shenanigans you may endure.

"Derpy!" you call for the grey pegasis. Two minutes pass before you realize you needed to resort to plan B. You take out the muffin you'd hidden under the sink and place it on your lap. You turn towards the door and again yell for the filly. After ten seconds, you add, "Oh boy! This muffin is too big for me to eat alone! I sure wish somepony would share it with me!"

Half a second later, you look down to your lap to find a young pegasus foal with her wings opened happily eating the breakfast pastry off your lap. You place the muffin on the ground, undisturbing Derpy, and walk over to the door and lock it. 

When you and the filly are both safely secured inside the bathroom, you look over to check on her. Derpy is finishing her treat with a smile on her face. When she finally swallows her last bite, she emits a loud burp that lasts for two seconds, which causes both of you to smile greatly. 

You walk over to the filly and lift her up to put her in the tub. She willingly cooperates and sits in the bath water, smiling, ready for her cleaning. You smile back at her and grab the shampoo, squirting some in your palm. You then begin to lather her blonde mane, making sure to get behind her ears. She giggles at the tickling feeling she feels. You giggle also, finding it hard to resist the contagious laughter. Even though it only takes about half a minute to lather her short hair, you continue for another half-minute, greedily milking as much humor as you can from the pegasus.

When you think you've had your fill of Derpy giggles, you cup some water in your hands and begin to rinse her mane. This takes about five rinses, each time emitting a cute little giggle yet again from Derpy. 

After you finish cleaning the suds from her hair, Derpy puts her muzzle in the water. She picks her head up and puckers her mouth in an "O" shape. She then blows softly, creating a little bubble, which then floats gently in the air. She giggles yet again and watches the little sphere of soap and air with wonder. The bubble then pops in front of her nose, making her jump and you chuckle. She joins your laughter and the two of you share half a minute of silly joy.

With her mane done, you take the feather shampoo and start to lather it through her wings, tickling her yet again. Both of you again share a moment of joyous laughter which lasts about a minute before you finish lathering her feathery wings. She smiles to you and lowers herself, shaking her wings in the water to rinse them for you. You nod to her in approval and she sits back up, wings fully cleaned.

You decide that now was a good time for a break. You take out a rubber duck and a toy boat and hand them to Derpy, who excitingly takes them from you and begins playing. Even though she spoke in babbles and her eyes never really focused on one thing (which was an aspect you found ADORABLE, not offensive!), you could tell she was pretending the duckling was a big ferocious monster by the way she put on a stern face when she made it fly high above the boat, ready to attack its prey! The sheer fact that a young filly with goofed eyes knows about monsters makes you chuckle softly to yourself.

After five more minutes of playtime, you decide to let Derpy keep the toys while you lift up her flank. You grab the shampoo and squirt some into your palm, and when you turn back to her you find that she sat back down! You lift up her rear again and ask her kindly to keep it there so you can wash her tail. Then you begin to lather it, only to be interrupted halfway through by Derpy yet again sitting down! You quickly pick her back up and softly scold her. You grab the shampoo again and squirt a tiny fraction in your palms and start to finish off what you'd started, considering some of the soap washed off when she sat. This takes you (an uninterrupted) half a minute before her tail is finally filled with suds. You then tell her she can sit and shake off the soap if she wanted to. She goes with your idea and sits her plot down, shaking it cutely in the water. She takes only fifteen seconds before her tail is fully suds-free.

Her whole body finally clean, you unplug the tub and let the water drain. Derpy is fascinated by the miniature twister formed around the drain of the tub, and watches it closely with foalish wonder. You decide to let her continue this until the entire tub drains, which was only a minute later. When the tub was empty, you pick up the grey filly and place her on the ground. You grab her towel next to you and begin to shake it over her mane. Then you dry her wings, and then her tail, and finally her abdomen and hooves. After placing the towel in the hamper, you can't help but grab the filly and embrace her in a hug; never before have you had such an urge to hug something so cute! She is taken a bit aback by the sudden affection, then welcomes it and wraps her hooves around you. 

You both smile sweetly and giggle for half a second before she breaks the bond and leaves the bathroom. You stand up and sigh to yourself. You wonder how some people could think that a pony so cute, sweet and innocent could be considered offensive because of her name. Heck, in your mind, her name was one of the cutest features! Derpy, meaning one who derps, making her sound like the silly pegasus she truly was!

You then brush it off as one of those things people freak over for no reason, like conspiracies and germs. As long as you and thousands of other bronies love her for who she is, everything was alright about her.