(Click Here for Audiolog/Voice!) (transcript below)
"Ah-hah! It's on!...*ahem* You know...I've been through quite a lot of hell. Best part is, I've had a smile on the whole damn time, haha! Still do, as a matter of fact. Lost my arm, too, and I'm still a chipper SOB."
"Oh, Geeze, what else have I done? Uhhh...been chased and battered by psycho Brutes, shot at, thrown out of aircrafts, thrown out of spaceships, swept through a horde of zombie aliens—two versions of 'em too!—exploded, and received a whole plethora of fantastic lacerations or other kind of physical battery."
"Oh! Damn! Silly me, forgetting the most horrible thing that's ever happened to me, too! I'm sure everyone, and pony, will get a kick out of this. Ever since day one—or hell call it day zero!—I have had to deal with the most sociopathic, bipolar, deranged, and perverted creature to have ever been allowed to hold a weapon. She herself should be and probably IS CLASSIFIED AS a weapon! I've even heard Halsey mention 'She's like a gun: Just aim her and pull the trigger. The rest is just to watch.'"
"I hope you all know her name, she's pretty infamous...and I also hope you all know me, Ryan, or Callsign Ghost (no relation to the FICTIONAL videogame character, by the way...). Ya know me, right?...right?......anyway. Please don't take any of this as complaint. I DID say I was smiling the whole time, right? Right. I wouldn't trade my experiences for anything. And I definitely wouldn't trade her for anything..."
"N-not that I have a crush on her or anything! Trust me, I don't...but I know someone who MIGHT. And no, it's not the Admiral, gosh no. That whole weirdness has been sorted out. This may be a bit too gossip-y, but...good 'ol Squirty might be creating a love tria-huh, oh, wait. Someone's coming..."
"Yeah! Hey bud! What's up?...What? Nothing. What!? Hah, no, I didn't just start to imply that you like Arte-huh? Yes! I know you have a marefriend! Yes!...YES!...what? What do you mean you heard the whole thing?"
"...Wait what!? She isn't here! She couldn't have heard anything I just said!...what do you mean, 'Look behind you'?...oh, h-h-hey, uh, heh. Hey Artemis?...gw-er-hey, no, give th-that back!"
*noises of stuff*
"Frick'n throwing my audiolog recorder...Artemis, goddamnit. This better not be broken or she owes me a LOT of money...is it still recording? Shit...damn. Oh well, good thing I bought the warranty in case this ever stops working.........Oh shit....I can't turn it off!....Oh technology, why do you hate me so much?...Uhm, I guess I'll fix this in post recording, whelp...Ryan out...goddamnit Artemis breaking me..."
"You will here more from me later, before I go, I will tell you that. there will be more. Hell, you might even hear from ip...or my sister...or even Artemis if she's feeling...nevermind, don't even expect Artemis at all. Please enjoy this series of misadventures of me and my friends...ugh, friends, right...welp...Bye!"