Dead or Alive

by Rust

[Chapter 2] - Beyond the Outer Rim

Unknown Sector, Unknown System, Unknown Planet...

It was a truly beautiful day. Celestia felt that she had outdone herself. The alicorn happily hummed while she worked, a whimsical tune she often wished some of the nobles took to heart more often.

All you gotta do is smile, smile, smile... Celestia dipped her quill into the inkwell, before signing her name on the last of the small mountain of decrees, petitions, letters, and accounts. Finally done with the day's work, she rewarded herself with a luxurious stretch, almost catlike. A crick in her neck vanished with a satisfying pop. Celestia closed her eyes and savored its defeat, that one had been bothering her all day.

Her office lay in a state of near-perfection. Everything had a place, a purpose, and a peculiar point of interest to her. Nothing unnecessary, just what was absolutely essential for her workplace to keep it functional and tasteful. She glared at the mountain of parchment in the "Out" pile. If only my kingdom worked the same way.

There was one last appointment to make before she could pat herself on the back, however. She flipped through her dossier and felt her temples pulse a little at the title of the pony.

5:45 - Verdict regarding allocation of funds for management of agricultural taxation:

----The Assistant Undersecretary to the Secretary of the Treasurer the Ministry of Commerce.

...Who even came up with these positions, anyway?

A polite knocking at the door announced that the Assistant Undersecretary to the Secretary of Treasurer of the Ministry of Commerce was here, and right on time as usual. "Yes?" Celestia called out.

The door squeaked open, and an armored head poked through. One of her guards. She coughed politely and said; "There's a stallion here to see, you, Your Highness. He says he's the Assisstant Undersecre-"

"-Send him in, please," Celestia smoothly cut her off with a gracious smile. Best to spare her the trouble of running out of breath. The door opened further and a young, very rumpled-looking earth pony slouched in, looking around the room in awe. His eyes settled on the Princess, and he began to go about the familiar motions she'd seen uncountable times.

He bowed deeply, almost kissing the floor. She hated when they did that. "Uh, good afternoon, Your Majesty, my name is Brass Scales, and I am the Assissta-"

"-Undersecretary to the Secretary of Treasurer of the Ministry of Commerce?" She couldn't help herself.

Brass Scales looked taken aback, yet very pleased. "Why, yes! Usually nopony gets that right. How did you know, Your Benevolence?"

"The title stands out," she deadpanned gracefully, carefully hiding the jab under years of diplomatic experience. "Now, Mr. Scales, before we settle down to business, would you like some tea?"

"Absolutely!" he declared, then abashedly added, "I mean, if it's not too much trouble. Er, Princess."

"It is certainly no trouble at all," Celestia affirmed. Her horn alit with a soft golden glow, and a tea set began to move around of its own accord, as the water inside the teapot was instantly heated to boiling point. "You seem nervous," she offered to keep the conversation form drying up.

Brass Scales looked in awe as a cup of tea began to pour itself right in front of him, teabag plopping into the mix with nary a droplet spilled. "It's just. This is the first time I've ever had an audience with you in private. Er, your Majesty. Ever, actually. This is the first time the Ministry sent me up here!" He seemed quite proud of himself.

Oh, they sent me a greenhorn? They must think I'm slipping. This should be fun... Celestia hid a smirk behind a sip of tea, masking the scalding of her tongue with a wall of willpower built over the course of an eon. She was suddenly looking forward to this meeting. She could finally lay out a finalizing plan that would keep the bit-hungry Ministry of Commerce on leash. "That's good to hear, my little pony. I'm sure you'll do a fine job here today. Now, then, let's begin with the first item you have to present me."

"Of course, Your Highness." Brass Scales brought out a portfolio. "Firstly is the set tax rate for agricultural business, which the Ministry thinks should be raised from 5% tax on all goods to 6.5% tax..."

Almost an hour later, they were done, and Celestia was in a very, very good mood. Every single tax increase on farms proposed by the Ministry had been blocked, the increase in funding had been granted with the extra money being funneled straight into streamlining the system itself rather than the paychecks of the higher-ups, and the Ministry now lacked an Assisstant Undersecretary to the Secretary of Treasurer , because she had done away with the position and made Brass Scales the Senior Ministry Representative. They had seriously erred in sending him, as she had them on a leash, now. That'd show the rest that she was still Princess, and not a complacent ruler to be coddled into signing away the money of her ponies. She had to admit, she rather liked working with the young stallion -- he was intelligent and eager, unlike so many of the members of the bourgeoisie that made up the government.

It was a shame he was probably being lambasted by his superiors at the moment. She resolved to offer him a position in the Royal Vaults if things took a tailspin.

Still, lamenting the state of Canterlot's bloated bureaucracy would only serve to sour her high spirits. It wasn't often she finished up early. Celestia poked her head out of the door, checking the hallway. The solitary Royal Gaurdsmare was on duty, standing rigidly at attention, almost painfully so. Celestia coughed politely.

The mare noticed. "Princess. Is there something you wish to request of me?"

"See that I'm not disturbed, please," said Celestia. "I've had a long day and I need to take a small rest." She was about to withdraw back into her study when a thought struck her. "And...at ease," she added kindly.

The guard visibly relaxed. "Yes, your Highness. Thank you."

"Thank you." Celestia shut the door and crossed the room in a flash.

Almost with a giggle, she glided onto the balcony and took flight. It felt nice to slip away, even if it was for only a couple minutes. Soon, she would be required at supper, likely treating with some dignitary or ambassador of some kind. her wings filled with air as she leisurely began to ascend above the spires of the castle.

There was a certain satisfaction she took in running her country, oiling the cogs and tinkering here and there with the gears to make it run as smoothly as possible. It had been a long time, however, since she'd had a break. The monotony of court life did tend to chafe one's patience, especially for her, who had not taken a day of from being Princess since she donned her crown many centuries ago.

She was a Princess. Twenty-four hours a day, seven days a week, fifty-two weeks a year.

And she wouldn't have it any other way.

Sunset found her at the very peak of Canterlot Mountain. Celestia bit her tongue thoughtfully as she put the finishing touches on the end of her day.

She stepped back, and the golden glow of her horn faded. There was a deep sense of accomplishment she got from doing this. It was one thing to simply perform a task, but another thing entirely to enjoying ever moment of it. Celestia had never considered herself an artist, but when she looked at the stunning sky she had painted, she couldn't help but smirk a little.

It was riot of color and light, the soft orange and red of the sun bleeding gracefully into the few clouds. The deep purple behemoths hung like ships in the sky, tinged pink around the edges and the deepest of blues were no light passed through. The sun itself was tenderly kissing the horizon, a shimmering scarlet orb of warmth and contentment.

Celestia nodded to herself. The day was at an end, and it was time for her to retire. Luna would be taking over the responsibility of the kingdom while she slept. Her sister had been gone a long time, and Celestia had to admit that she had grown exhausted with managing the state of affairs on a nearly uninterrupted cycle. She might be a Princess, but she was still only one pony.

Speaking of...

A midnight-blue streak of vapor cut through the fading sunlight and landed a couple steps away with a soft rush of air. It struck the ground and splashed up, condensing in a split second into the form of Princess Luna. The smaller alicorn stretched her wings out and huffed. "There you are, sister! I have been looking all over the castle for you, and I find you out here, lazing about like there's no tomorrow!"

Celestia smiled softly. "Sorry, Luna. Would you like to sit with me?"

"I would like for us to return, post haste," Luna grumbled. "Your little ponies are in a state of near panic, not knowing where their precious Princess is."

"So is that a yes?" Celestia cocked an eyebrow.

Luna made an indistinguishable grunt, then flopped down next to her sister. "A pox upon you. They woke me just to assist in their damnable search. We've fought dragons, sister. Surely they might show some faith in our capabilities."

"Luna... they're your subjects just as much as mine." Celestia stretched out a wing and wrapped her sister in it, drawing her close. "And they will warm to you. You'll see. You just have to give it time."

Head resting in her fetlocks, Luna murmured, "maybe."

"And for the record, it was you who fought the dragon, I assisted the evacuation efforts. You know, I hear that they still tell stories about how the Night Princess defeated the great Brimstone... by punching him in the face."

"Ah, those were the days," her sister sighed. "When we weren't shackled by these... things upon our heads."

Celestia squeezed her tighter. "Maybe."

They were quiet for a time, each content in the other's company and the warmth of the setting sun. Celestia was glad; it wasn't often that she and Luna got to spend time together like this. Her sister usually slept through most of the day, keeping to a strict nocturnal schedule. She was a Princess with just as much authority as her sister, holding her own special court at night for those who sought her audience.

...And yet, all too often, it was Celestia's door they knocked on when something was amiss.

Celestia waited until the grand doors came to a rumbling halt, before finally relaxing. Her personal chambers were quite messy for somepony so organized everywhere else. But, to each their own vice, she supposed.

Dinner had been a minefield, as usual.

The late arrival of the Princess had been something of a minor scandal, the way the gossip was spreading around the castle. Some of the dignitaries and guests had taken it as a personal slight, and Celestia had spent most of the meal smoothing down ruffled egos. There had barely been enough time for her to eat, and the majority of her already-small servings had gone to waste.

Luckily, she had a secret stash for just such an occasion. Repressing the urge to cackle in glee, she placed a hoof on the wall and pushed. The stone shifted an inch inwards with a grumble of hidden gears, then vanished completely. In its place lay a hidden hollow, filled to the brim with succulent, chocolate cake.

The ivory predator smiled a wide, satisfied smile. The kind that was worn only when the prey was absolutely helpless before them. And oh, was she going to enjoy this. A few whispered words with Pinkie Pie, a few bits in the right apron, and somehow the hidden compartment kept itself full. Celestia didn't question it. Sometimes, ignorance is bliss.

Or in this case, chocolate frosting.

Some time later, in a near sugar coma, the Princess lay sprawled in a heap atop her luxurious bed, lazily wriggling around in the glow of the solitary candle. She took a sip of a glass of wine as she scanned her Faithful Student's most recent friendship report. It had been too long since she had indulged herself like this. An unplanned flight, delicious cake, and now a bottle of one of Equestria's finest vintages.

Princess Celestia hadn't had a day off in centuries.

And she wouldn't have it any other way.

...Right?