"Man is an artifact designed for space travel. He is not designed to remain in his present biologic state any more than a tadpole is designed to remain a tadpole."
-William S. Burroughs

Wait... what? Um... I think we have a problem with the quotes again. Steven! (cookie points for getting reference)
Alrighty, then... Uh... just one minute... this... well... what? We can't use that! Ah, well... Really?... Okay...

"Cleverness is not wisdom."
-Euripides

I awoke to sunlight battering me in the face. Where was I? I slowly opened my eyes and found myself on a beach. Vaguely I remembered what had transpired the day before. There... was something to do with alcohol... and... my eyes widened as it all came back to me. I struggled to get up, but I was wrapped tightly in rough rope, tied to the tree I was up against.

"Alright you bastards, where are you?" I shouted almost unintelligibly at the rest of the island.. "You better be ready, you here me? 'Cause when I find you, I'm going to tear you to pieces! GOT IT!?" I could barely control myself in my hung over state. I really wasn't someone who supported drinking, but last night had been one to celebrate.

I had returned to the realm of Kingdom Hearts on urgent business, and suddenly it turned out that an outbreak of Heartless had come up in every world.Setting out with Sora, Donald, Goofy, AND Riku yet again, we had traipsed around and killed more Heartless than you could possibly count. Of course setting the hearts free in the process.

It had taken one long, grueling month, but we had done it. And when we had returned, we partied. I don't know where they had gotten the alcohol, or if they were even allowed to drink it, but they had found some. It had all ended up with a drinking contest between me and an already crazed, drunken Riku. He was surprisingly resilient, and had lasted almost as long as me. We had both ended up passed out, but I had woken up late at night to voices saying something along the lines of, "This is gonna be so funny!"

I struggled some more and finally the ropes snapped. Stumbling to my feet, I began to stomp my way back up the beach, muttering drunkenly the things that I would do to them.

My thoughts were interrupted by a deep, familiar, booming voice. It was laced with humor, and was strained, as if holding back laughter:

I, in my still drunken state, replied as if this person were not the most powerful God of the Moon, "Whazzit to you, dumbass? Stay-a outta my beeswax."

MOBIUS! the voice roared in my head, Pull yourself together, you daft idiot! This is actually an urgent message!

That snapped me back to reality. My tongue tripped over itself as I searched for an answer, "I, well, you see... Master Blue Moon... I, well, um..." I ended up staring straight ahead.

Master Blue Moon laughed and said, Got you! I've always wanted to catch you at a moment like this.

I always found it amazing how he went from joking to serious like that. "Oh? Well, then, go ahead."

Well, you remember your schooling about the alternate realities, right? He didn't even wait for my answer. Of course you do. Well, there's been a little... disruption for the past few weeks in an alternate Equestria, and-

That got my attention immediately. "Wait, Equestria?" That didn't go well with me.

Yes. Some powerful force is gathering in this alternate Equestria. I need you to investigate and eliminate it if possible.

I grinned, "'If possible?' Master Blue Moon, do you really have such little faith in me?"

He chuckled, Of course not. Now then, go prepare yourself. But beware. If you cannot stop this evil in time, it will afflict many other alternate Equestrias. His voice faded out.

I sort of ignored that last bit, and grinned. Looks like it's time to return home.

Later, the others would come looking for me and found that I had broken free. Worried, but still not worried, they would mark it off as me leaving on business. They knew who I really was.
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I think I need to do some explaining. By this point in time I had been in Equestria for about a year and two months. There are many spoilers for the actual storyline coming, so if you don't like spoilers... I'll just give a vague description of what's happened.

I had told the others about my powers. There was a little awkwardness, and- wait, wait. Too much detail. Also, Hunter had appeared. Fun, fun, fun. Right now, though, he was hiding. Also, Equestria was now my home world.

Again, a flash of light... really? I mean, REALLY? Now even caring where I was, I shouted at the sky... again.

"You just HAD to do it again, didn't you? I mean, YOU JUST HAD TO MAKE THE SAME OLD STEREOTYPICAL WAY OF ARRIVING HERE! I DON'T KNOW WHETHER TO BE EXTREMELY PISSED OR EXTREMELY... GAH!" I realized that the alcohol was getting to me again.

Suddenly I heard two familiar voices, "Um, what is it?" That was Rainbow's voice!

“It looks sort of familiar…but I can’t remember exactly what it is,” and that was Twilight!

I turned and began walking towards the voices. I saw Pinkie, Rainbow, Rarity, Twilight, and... who was that? It was a royal blue pegasus with a yellow mane and tail, and he had a microphone with wings for a cutie mark. I ignored him and looked at Twi.

"Heya, Twi. How's it going?" I said, glad to see familiar faces of family again.

I turned to Rainbow, "Okay then... Um…hey Rainbow, how goes it?” The cyan pegasus just stared.

“Who…or what…are you?” the other blue pegasus asked slowly. Pinkie rolled her eyes, looking for all the worlds as if the pegasus was a student who had just asked the worst possible question.

“He’s obviously some sort of cat pegasus thingy, Mike,” she stated as if it was obvious. Where did that sound familiar from?

Hmmm... Pinkie just called him Mike... odd name. Must be some new background pony. I thought. I turned to the others. “Mike…? Eh, whatever. So you don’t recognize me?” All shook their heads. My heart plunged. I tried to make light of it, though. “What, did you all get amnesia or something?" actually, I don't want to think about Amnesia at the moment. "Why can’t-”

Suddenly I remembered my objective. Find the disturbance. Eliminate it. The word eliminate stuck in my head. What had Master Blue Moon been talking about anyway? He was never specific, but at least he sometimes dropped hints. I thought about how many other times He had been extremely vague in his descriptions of "bad things." There was that one time where he had just been like, "Look, something bad is going to happen in this world. Go fix it." and boom, I was in a new world.

... I got off track yet again, didn't I? I snapped back to the ponies in front of me and regained my composure before saying, "“My apologies. I was confused for a moment. My name is Mobius. I am an…” here I paused, just for effect. I even put a quizzical look on my face for good measure. “…an Aries Leo Sagittarios. It is likely that you do not have many of my kind around here.”

“Oh, that’s right!” Twilight smiled, and I chuckled inwardly. All it took was one thing Twilight didn't know to drive her crazy. But then her face went back to a confused look. “But…why are you here?"

“And what’s with your eyes?” Pinkie said, poking my face. Of course, my eyes...

“I am here for…well, I’ll explain a little later. As for my eyes-," hm, how would I say this? "-they are just…like that. Similar to how you have a pink coat, Pinkie Pie. It’s just how you are.” Ah, shit. I thought. I had done it again. "I just screwed up, didn't I..." it was a rhetorical question, said mostly to myself.

"How do you know our names?” Rainbow demanded, flying closer and trying to look threatening. “We’ve already had enough trouble in the past few days. We don’t need more!”

Trouble? Oh no... “Trouble? Did I come too late?!” I finished the thought out loud. “What happened?”

“Uh…we already took care of it,” Twilight raised an eyebrow. “An Ursa Major and a couple of Minors came rampaging through Ponyville, but they’re gone now. Everything’s fine.”

What? "Then why am I here?" I said, mostly to myself. Hm. If I was sent here, and that wasn't the supposed trouble, then what is? I turned to this... Mike character. He sort of withered away from my gaze, looking slightly scared. Could this be the problem? It didn't seem like it... I shook the nagging thought away and looked to the others again.

“Say…aren’t there two other ponies who should be with you?” I put on my best casual, inquiring tone and hoped it was convincing. "I seem to also have forgotten you, Rarity. I am truly sorry." I added with a little honey in my voice.

And of course, my amazing skills broke through again. “True, I wonder – how do you know that?” Rarity looked astonished.

“I-” I began, but then a hoof cracked into my skull and I fell to the ground. As my consciousness faded I heard a significantly southern accented voice, "Are y'all okay?" Why, Applejack. Why?
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I awoke in the bed that I had used when I had first arrived in... well, I guess MY Equestria. Alternate realities are such a pain...

I groaned. "What the hay, Applejack?" I muttered. I tossed around in the bed until I could flop onto my paws. I had been in A.L.S form most of the time around my friends. I actually preferred it now, which might have seemed a little odd.

Then the pain from the kick hit me. "Ow, my head..." I growled, clutching at my poor noggin.

"Heh, sorry 'bout that" Applejack's voice said. I snapped my head up to see all six... well, all seven of the ponies standing in the room.

“Oh thank the Gods and Goddesses I’m back!” I cried, "You all remember me now, right?"

They all shook their heads again, and my heart fell into my stomach. I couldn't keep back my disappointment this time, and I could see that they noticed it.

“Can you tell us why you’re here, if that’s okay?” Mike asked, and I turned to him. Did he just say...? But then I pushed the thought away.

“Quiet you. Background ponies don’t talk.” I turned to the rest of the group, “As for why I’m here…well, it’s a long story.”

“You know what, since this guy only seems interested in you six, I’m just gonna go home,” Mike sighed. “See ya.” He left when he had said his goodbyes.

I stared after him. Why did he have so much familiarity with these six ponies? The nagging thought that he was the problem broke through again, but I shoved it away. He... he couldn't be. Right?

Then Twilight spoke up, "So... can you tell us your story now? Or would you like to wait?" The other ponies leaned in expectantly, and I smiled ruefully.

"Sorry... not today..." my lie turned into a truth yet again, "That crack you gave me, Applejack, is hurting like hell."

Applejack looked slightly shocked again at my mention of her name, but then nodded, "Ah understand. Stay as long as you want." I grinned. Same old Applejack. Well, except for the whole not remembering me thing.

Then Fluttershy stepped forward, "Um, I'll look at your head... I-I mean, if that's okay." That's what it was! Fluttershy and Mike both had shy personalities. Or at least, Mike had spoken like Fluttershy. Hmmm, I wonder....

I nodded to Fluttershy, "Go ahead." She stepped forward and began to gently assess my head. The others left when it became obvious that I wouldn't talk any more.

When she was finished my head was lightly wrapped in bandages, but I still looked like a mummy in the mirror. She had given me some medicine and then told me to rest, which wasn't hard. It was already nighttime when she was leaving. I knew how afraid she was of the dark, and I spoke up about it, "Aren't you afraid of the night?"

She turned back to me, surprised. "Oh, well, not really... okay, a little..." she then gave in, "Okay, a lot."

I smiled and climbed out of the bed, "Here, then. You don't have to say anything." I added when she I saw her about to protest. She stared from me, to the bed, and back again. Sighing, I decided to do this the hard way.

"Fluttershy, look me in the eyes." She did so, and then I activated my Mind Seer abilities, my vision whiting out for a second. Then I saw a slightly scared Fluttershy, and I went ahead and used the power. She immediately slumped forward. I went up to catch her, then placed her in the bed, tucking the covers around her. Luckily she wouldn't remember this. After she was snug in bed I removed the wrappings from my head, then curled up on the floor like some loyal pet. I drifted off, questions about what I should do about this "problem" running through my head.
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I awoke to Applejack's hoofsteps and the door creaking open. She was accompanied by else. I struggled out of my sprawled position and pushed lazily to my paws and looked up at them, yawning. I had to rub my eyes to get the sleep out of them. Then I turned to the pair.

"Good morning, Applejack, how-" Then I noticed Mike, the pegasus from before, "Yeah... hey."

“Uh…well, good mornin’, Mobius,” Applejack replied quite hesitantly, looking with unease from me to Mike, “Just to get ya two acquainted, this here’s Mike. He came by just a couple weeks ago.”

“Yeah. He’s had a pretty hard life up ‘til now. Treat him nice, ya hear?” Applejack gave me a stern look.

"Yeah, sure..." I replied, narrowing my eyes at the pegasus. Just then Fluttershy began to stir in the bed. I cast a sideways glance at Mike, "Hey Mike, your marefriend's getting up. Be her Prince Charming, why don't you?"

My taunt bore fruit. "She's not my marefriend!" Mike replied hotly, his face flushing.

“In all honesty, I find that hard to believe. You two act so much alike, you’re either related or going out. And I highly doubt you’re related.” I said in an innocent but taunting voice. I could see him holding himself back. From what, bucking me across the room?

“The hell kind of logic is that? Screw Pinkie Sense, that’s definitely taken the spot for second-weirdest thing I’ve ever heard!”

Before I could ask the obvious question, Applejack intervened. “Don’t ask what number one is.”

That moment was when Fluttershy decided to wake up fully. "Oh... good morning everyone." She looked at Mike and me, a little confusion on her face. “Is something going on?”

"Nope." Mike and I said at the same time. Nothing at all. I thought with a silent growl.
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Applejack had brought me my breakfast, and I had asked to be alone to think. They had all left, and not long after the other four ponies had arrived. I saw Applejack applebucking and I smiled. Then I saw who was helping. Was that... Mike? Hmmm. I ran through what I knew about him in my head. Well, not much, other than that he's a lot like Fluttershy and he arrived here a few weeks ago. "A disturbance has been in an alternate Equestria for a few weeks." Master Blue Moon had said. I decided to find out more about Mike.

Exiting the barn, I began to walk towards the group. From the way they were looking at me I knew that they had been talking about me.

Twilight of course took the initiative and spoke first, "Hello, Mobius. What is it?"

I sat down, Drawing my tail around my paws, and said, “I just wanted to know a few things. For example, Twilight, you mentioned an Ursa Major yesterday? What happened exactly?”

“Two Ursa Minors and an Ursa Major came rampaging through Ponyville a few days ago,” Rainbow explained. “The seven of us managed to send them back to the Everfree Forest.”

“Liiitle more detail.” I said, taking my front paws and making a 'get on with it' gesture. The ponies all recounted their versions and from what I understood, they had broken up into groups of three and gone after the Minors. And apparently Mike took down the Major.

I began to howl with laughter. I rolled on the ground and pointed a finger... er, whatever I should call them, at the pegasus.

“That guy? Take down an Ursa Major?” I cried, pointing at Mike. “Look at him! You really think he’d be able to do that? I want facts, not fiction!”

Mike then walked up to an apple tree, and looked at Applejack, who nodded. Rearing, he bucked the tree with his hind legs and it toppled.

“Yeah, we think he’d be able to do that,” Applejack said with a smirk. I looked at the toppled tree, to Mike, stunned. I felt a bit of worry run through me, then felt a slow realization.

“He even beat Applejack in an Iron Pony Competition,” Rainbow added. “He’s a lot better at stuff than you’d think. He’s strong, he’s fast, he’s an awesome singer, and he’s the first pony in the world to take out an Ursa Major!”

Awesome Singer? Oookay. I thought. Then I decided to taunt some more. “While he is strong, I highly doubt he took down an Ursa Major all by himself. I’d have to see it to believe it. Don’t you know they’re-”

"Nothing!" I said hurriedly, "Absolutely nothing whatsoever!" I decided that now was a good time to change the subject. And get some more info on Mike, “Applejack mentioned you’ve had a rough life, Mike. Care to elaborate?”

For a second, Mike’s face fell, but then he regained his composure and took a deep breath. “Well…to keep it short and simple, my parents thought I’d become a painter so they kicked me out of the house when I got a singing cutie mark. I met up with a guitarist named Dreamer and we worked together for a while, then we heard of Ponyville and decided to move here, but he got burned to death by a dragon in the Everfree Forest and now we’re here.” He finished by taking a second breath. “That’s the abridged version of my backstory.”

I resisted the urge to say 'sucks for you.' I was actually quite surprised by this backstory. But it also strengthened my mistrust in him. usually dark characters came from dark backgrounds, and his was extremely dark.

Then I said, “So…pretty much what you’re saying is that, wherever you went, bad stuff happened?” Mike cringed and everyone else glared, even Fluttershy.

“That is not cool!” Rainbow yelled. “You aren’t exactly doing a great job of earning our trust, pal!”

“Sorry, sorry! I didn’t mean it that way,” I hastily replied, an idea forming in my head. “Actually, Mike, can you take a walk with me? I want to ask you something in private.”

“Uh…” Mike looked extremely hesitant, but he eventually nodded. “Okay.”

“So, what was it you wanted to ask me, Mobius?” Mike asked after we had been walking for a couple of minutes and not a word passed between us.

“It’s kind of a weird question,” I admitted. “But do you ever notice that things never seem to work out for you? Whenever anything good happens, something goes and makes it not so good?” Oh, please don't let it be true. He actually seemed like a nice guy.

“I thought so.” That was enough. I was quite disappointed. We had walked behind the barn, away from view. “Mike…you’re trouble.”

“What do you-” Mike didn't finish his question, I turned to him. I activated my Mind Seer abilities, and he slumped forward.

I heard an audible gasp from overhead, and I looked up in time to see Rainbow Dash flying swiftly back too the others. Cursing my Gods-forsaken luck, I spread my massive wings and picked up Mike with my magic. "You're coming with me." I growled.

Author's Note: Hey everypony! This is the beginning of an epic crossover between RLYoshi's fanfic and mine, obviously. Go look at his version to see Mike's point of view! Besides, his fic is pretty sweet too.clickhere for awesomeness.

Mobius: Equestrian Adventure (Revamped! Old chapters included)

by Mobius of the Moon

CROSSOVER: Wonderful Alternate Realities