Ponyville Paintball
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Chapter II
“There we go... Yer dandelion toast now, Rainbow Dash.”
Crouching in the tall grass behind a tree like a lioness, Applejack was eyeing her prey. She could make out Rainbow Dash’s unmistakable rainbow mane, not blending very well with the green hue of the leaves. The pegasus seemed to be taking a nap at the top of a nearby tree, unaware that the back of her head was exposed to the farm pony below. Applejack grinned. Rainbow was there. She was a sitting duck for her to shoot.
Taking care not to wake the sleeping pony, Applejack got up and moved closer to her in stealthy little hoofsteps. When she reached the bottom of Rainbow’s napping tree, she stopped and looked up at a lock of purple and blue hair that was dangling from above. She wanted to savor the moment that she took her favorite rival down. After a while, she turned around, raised her hindlegs in the air, and with a giddy little laugh she gave the tree a shattering buck.
The result was immediate. The tree started shaking violently, making its leaves rattle like snakes and the birds hidden beneath them take flight in surprise. From the branches above Applejack, something fell to the ground with an audible thud.
The earth pony lost no time. Skillfully she turned to the fallen pony, and took a step towards it, gun at the ready.
“Alright, I got ya now, Rainbow! Prepare fer... huh?”
Applejack was startled by what she saw. On the ground lay a few thick twigs strapped together with duct tape. There was a thick one in the middle to which a plastic ball was attached, which itself wore a wig of leaves of the different colours of the rainbow.
“What in tarnation...?”
Suddenly, she heard a whooshing sound overhead. By the time she tried to figure out where it came from, it was already too late. She looked up, only to suddenly be hit with two paintballs, expertly shot in her eyes, making her field of vision pink and yellow.
The mystery shooter landed on the ground next to her, blowing invisible smoke from both her guns before she spoke.
“Well, well, well,” sounded the cheeky and somewhat raspy voice of Rainbow Dash. “If it isn’t my one true rival!”
Slightly dazed and losing her balance, the blinded Applejack raised a hoof in the air.
“Darn it, Rainbow! Ah oughta whip you wit’ mah lasso!”
“I’m over here, AJ.”
“Oh,” replied Applejack, realizing she’d been pointing her hoof to nopony in particular. She turned to where the voice was coming from. “Well, still! Ah swear, yer gonna git it when this competition’s over!”
Rainbow gave her a patronizing laugh.
“Yeah... I’m so sure that’s true,” she said. “But we both know that I can best you at everything. Especially looks.”
“Yer jus’ sayin’ that coz you have a perfectly shaped flank!” replied Applejack. Rainbow giggled at her statement.
“Why yes, thank you for noticing!” she said, wiggling her rump a little, causing Applejack to blush even though she couldn’t see it. “But that just proves my point. I’m always one step ahead of ya. You just keep that in mind when you walk outta this game, AJ!”
Applejack said nothing for a few seconds, struggling to find an appropriate answer to her friend’s remarks. After a while she gave up, and with a heavy sigh she started her walk of shame out of the game.
“Stupid perfect sexy Rainbow...” she mumbled. “Always so much better than me, ah’m just a boring earth pony...”
Suddenly, a colt’s voice sounded behind Rainbow Dash. “Hey, that was pretty awesome!” he said.
Swiftly she turned around to shoot him, but she found herself face to face with a unarmed colt beaming at her. She didn’t feel as though he was a threat. A mare appeared from behind the trees next to him.
“Yeah, that was sweet!” she said. “You’re pretty awesome and good-looking!”
Rainbow found herself pleasantly surprised by all this praise she was being given. She was even more surprised when ponies started to appear all around her from the forest, chatting excitedly amongst themselves in admiration for the cyan pegasus.
Rainbow was busy shaking hooves here and there with her new fans when there was a sudden collective gasp from the crowd. The ponies fell silent, and Rainbow watched in awe as they all made way for Princess Celestia herself.
The majestic princess walked gracefully up to Rainbow Dash, who was feeling smaller by the second. Celestia gave her a sweet, serene smile.
“My dear Rainbow Dash,” she said in a heart-warming tone, “how long has it been? I believe the last time we saw each other was at the Best Young Flyer’s competition, when you dazzled everyone with your impressive moves of sheer flying genius?”
Rainbow stared, mouth hanging agape, completely starstruck at the princess. She would never get used to seeing her in person. That’s when another familiar voice to her was heard from the crowd.
“Yeah!” said none other than Soarin of the Wonderbolts. “She totally saved our flanks that time! She’s definitely cool enough to join us!”
Rainbow spun around at the first sound of his voice, and thought she was going to faint from the sight before her. The three captains of the Wonderbolts were there, putting in a good word for her. In front of the ruler of Equestria in person, no less.
Princess Celestia gave an amused giggle.
“Yes, I remember,” she said. “And I just witnessed your first-rate paintball skills! You truly are an exceptional pegasus.”
Rainbow started feeling dizzy. She was definitely going to faint.
“Therefore,” continued Celestia, “I am cutting this game of paintball short, and I declare Rainbow Dash as the winner!”
The sole shock of hearing those words cancelled out the noise from the crowd for Rainbow Dash, as the crowd roared in approval.
“You may join me in the throne room of the royal Canterlot palace to collect your prize: an official Wonderbolts’ membership medal! And I hereby dub you, for your amazing show of overall skill, the Coolest Pony in Equestria!”
Rainbow hardly noticed in her daze the crowd gathering next to her and lifting her off the ground. “Rainbow Dash! Rainbow Dash!” they cheered.
The pegasus looked around, utterly stunned. It was all coming together for her. She’d just won the game. She was an official Wonderbolt. She was now officially the coolest pony in Equestria.
An immense feeling of joy started welling up inside her, making a large grin spread on her face. She looked to the skies, ready to take off.
“Yeah... Yeah! BUCK YEAH!”
Suddenly, she was hit on the head with some unknown object, and the world around her vanished entirely. She saw stars for a second, and when she opened her eyes, she saw that she was still in the forest. Everypony has disappeared. She was still on her tree branch, realizing that she had hit her head hard on the branch above her. It had woken her up.
This had all been a dream.
It took a small moment to dawn on her. When it did, she cradled her buzzing head with a disappointed groan.
Rainbow felt cross with herself. She had been napping on the job again. How unprofessional could she be? How was she supposed to stick it to Applejack with that kind of attitude? Then she realized that on the upside, she was still in the game. There was still time to make this dream a reality.
Just as she thought of this, she was alerted by noises in the distance. She heard voices. Ponies were approaching her tree.
She spun round to see where the noise was coming from. She saw it. A few feet away, two ponies were approaching. From the look of it, they weren’t looking for her; they were just passing by.
Rainbow grinned. Well, it might not be Applejack, she thought, but it’ll do for now.
Soundlessly she flew to another, more strategically placed tree.
* * *
The two mares walked casually past the trees. One of them was a cream-coloured earth pony with a mane of pulpy locks of purple and pink. She walked at a casual pace with an expression of concentration, looking around for potential enemies. The other mare was a turquoise unicorn with a mane of the same colour, although with a broad streak of white. She did not share her companion’s concentration, and looked upwards as she casually strolled through the forest, seemingly unaware that she was a moving target. It was this mare who spoke first.
“So what do you think the prize is, Bon-Bon?” she asked cheerily.
Bon-Bon thought about it for a second.
“I dunno,” she replied. “It’s whatever your heart desires, according to the Princess. I can only hope that it’s really what I want most in the world. But I dunno what that is really. I guess a beautiful singing voice would be nice.”
She looked to her friend. “What do you think it is, Lyra?”.
But she instantly regretted it. Lyra stared back at her with a large toothy grin, and with huge eyes with shrunken pupils. Bon-Bon knew that maniacal look when she saw it on Lyra’s face.
“Oh dear, Lyra...” she said in exasperation. “You think the Princess is going to turn you into one of those ‘humares’, right?”
“They’re called humans, Bon-Bon!” Lyra replied, annoyed at her friend’s intolerance. Then she resumed her maniacal expression. “But yes, that is what I think,” she said in a low, eerie voice.
“That was a rhetorical question,” said Bon-Bon with a sigh. She’d heard enough of the unicorn’s crazy fantasies of turning into a nonsensical fairytale creature for a lifetime.
Suddenly, there was a strong gust of wind that shook the trees. Bon-Bon stopped dead in her tracks and looked upwards. In the windless calm of the forest, such a gust was too strong to be just caused by nature. Somepony was up there in the trees.
“Did you hear that?” she asked in an alarmed whisper.
She turned to Lyra, who hadn’t noticed anything, too busy fantasizing madly about the crazy lyre compositions she would be able to pull off with a few human digits.
“Lyra!” snapped Bon-Bon.
The unicorn snapped out of it. “What is it?” she asked.
“I think there’s somepony stalking us. We gotta be--”
She was cut short by something crashing at full speed right into her chest. Before she could figure out what was going on, she was knocked back a few feet behind by the strong impact, that left her gasping for air on the ground.
“Bon-Bon!” called out a stricken Lyra. Then she realized what had happened. Next to Bon-Bon, Lyra saw a cyan pegasus -- the one that had attacked her friend. Quickly she fumbled around with her hooves to grab her gun, cursing herself for not having hands to do the job, and shakily aimed the gun at Rainbow Dash. Out of panic, she magically squeezed the trigger as hard as she could, sending the gun flying out of her hooves and rapidly spewing paintballs in all directions.
By the time she did that, it was too late. Rainbow Dash saw Lyra behind her, and instinctively she grabbed the dazed Bon-Bon and spun her round off the ground. She used her as a shield from Lyra’s bullets, which shot Bon-Bon square in the belly repeatedly, making the poor earth pony flop like a fish from the multiple impacts.
Lyra released the trigger and looked in shock at what she had done. “N-No!” she cried out.
Rainbow saw the unicorn panicking, and took advantage of it. Before Lyra knew knew it, she felt the hard impact of Rainbow Dash’s bullet hitting her on the forehead. She fell, as if dead, realizing that she was out of the game, and probably doomed to remain a unicorn forever.
Dropping Bon-Bon to the ground, Rainbow looked around at the damage she’d done. The next pony passing by would find a part of the woods strewn in paintballs, and two defeated mares gasping on the ground where the grass was now shuffled from all their fighting. A true war scene, and a reminder for the ponies who would witness it not to buck with Rainbow Dash.
With a huff of pride, she positioned herself to take flight between the trees once more. “Ladies,” she said, greeting the two mares. She was about to take off when Bon-Bon spoke.
“I hope... Applejack... gets the best of you,” she said, the words wheezing painfully out of her throat between intakes of air.
Rainbow Dash was stunned by what she heard. She turned to Bon-Bon. “What did you say?” she asked.
There was no reply from the earth pony. Frustrated, Rainbow jumped at her and pinned her to the ground with a strong hoof.
“What’s this about Applejack, huh? Did she send you?”
“N-no... nopony sent us, lady. But Applejack... I’ve seen her play... she's a good sport... not like you... you’re bad... you’ve got skill... but your cheap attacks will fail you in front of a player like Applejack...”
Rainbow scoffed. “Yeah, yeah... Well, let’s meet up when I win my place in the Wonderbolts and we can talk about who’s got skill, alright?” she said in contempt.
Bon-Bon looked at Rainbow Dash through heavy eyelids. She forced a chuckle through her throat. She coughed out a little of the paint she had swallowed, leaving red paint streaming down her cheek from the corner of her mouth.
“You don’t get it... do ya? Heh... that Applejack... she’ll hunt you down... she doesn’t brag like you do... your arrogance will blind you eventually...”
“Yes...” coughed Lyra. “The hands of fate... will have no mercy for you!”
“Shut up, Lyra...”
And with those words, Bon-Bon fainted from exhaustion.
Rainbow considered her words for a minute, a little stunned. Then she let go of Bon-Bon.
“Whatever. I don’t have time to stick around and be uncool. I gotta dash! Applejack won’t hunt me down...”
She squatted, ready to take flight.
“Not if I hunt her down first.”
Rainbow Dash took flight, looking for her next victim.