//------------------------------// // Chapter 3: Satin was Molested // Story: Proof of Greatness // by DrunkSc1ence //------------------------------// Molested: past participle, past tense of mo·lest (Verb) Verb: Pester or harass (someone), typically in an aggressive or persistent manner. ~Satin~ I stared at the cup of tea sitting on the table before me. It was the same color, it was hot, but it smelled like flowers... I don’t know if I should trust this. For all I know Pony food and drink could be filled with something like cyanide... I took another sniff just to make sure. It certainly doesn’t smell like it’s going to kill me. I never took this into consideration. I wonder if anything in Equestria is actually edible for humans. The brony dream of coming here ends tragically as we all die within 3 day of dehydration I took a sideways glance at Kronos as he picked up his cup and slowly drank from it. I waited for a moment, watching him and making sure he didn’t start clutching at his throat as he slowly choked to death. I sighed slowly and took a long drink myself. One can hope. He was fine, he put it back down as he continued his ridiculous history lesson on Humans in general, skimming over all the violent stuff. So like, Human history in 3 pages. I did notice he left out a lot of about religion and about our knowledge of their world. I mean, I kinda understand the skipping over religion. That kinda goes with the violence when you get right down to it, but I mean, how long are we going to go without revealing that we know these characters and this world rather intimately. “...and then we invented the internet, and it was all downhill from there...” Kronos stated, his voice dropping to a low monotone at the end. Dex and I both gave him sidelong glances as the ponies sat there completely enthralled by the story. We both simultaneously leaned towards him, “Why would you tell them about the internet?” Dex intoned. “This is going to take hours just for them to understand what the internet is and how it works, which I’m half sure you don’t know yourself.” I added in an accusing tone. “...But it’s true!” Kronos sighed briefly, “Maybe they won’t ask about it?” Celestia quirked a brow, “What’s the ‘internet?’” He merely muttered under his breath, “Oh god dammit!” He looked back up at them with a nervous smile, “A great writer once described it like this, ‘Imagine your greatest dream, and your worst nightmare, and combine them.’ I held my hand to my head for a second before announcing, “Very poetic, but no. It’s a technology designed to share information with anyone on the planet. It ended up turning into a place for showing pictures, videos, and running jokes.” . Kronos chirped in a tad too enthusiastically, “...and don’t forget all of the terabytes upon terabytes of p...” Dex slammed his hand over Kronos’ mouth with a glare, immediately silencing him. “Poetry and other forms literature...” Dex stated simply, slowly removing his hand from Kronos’ mouth. Kronos smacked Bozarth upside the head and glared at him, “My mouth was open... and your hand tastes disgusting...” Our audience seemed to buy that cover up, but I really need to remind myself to punch Kronos upside his head. I’m supposed to be the one that gets us into ridiculous hijinx through not thinking before I speak. I shook my head. “Well, that’s a short, very incomplete retelling of human history and I’m fairly sure at least half of it is on the embellished side.” Kronos merely glared at me, “I can’t lie to them and you know that, if anything in there was wrong it was due to my own lack of knowledge...” He turned to the ponies gathered at the table with us, “Which I do apologize, if any of that information was incorrect.” I involuntarily rolled my eyes, “Any questions?” Twilight raised her hoof, “What’s a terabyte?” Kronos shrugged, “A unit of measurement used for computer data.” Twilight stared at him blankly, “Computer data?” Kronos stopped to think for a moment, “A computer is the device we use to share pictures, music, writing and the like with others by using the internet, which would be the data. Sadly that’s roughly all I know about them, I’ve never been very tech savvy.” I could just feel the headache grow with every word that fell carelessly out of Kronos’ mouth, “Kronos, please stop talking. You’re describing tech they don’t have here with words they don’t know. Every explanation begets another explanation, making this an endless cycle of mostly you talking.” I then turned back to our hosts. “Humans are more technologically inclined and we make machines that make our lives much, much easier. And no, I’d be willing to bet none of us know how these work and can’t replicate them. Sorry.” I said as I finished my tea hoping to get rid of the headache, tasting... I dunno was that a hint of lemon and... it kinda tastes like honeysuckle smells. “I just wanted to answer their questions...” Kronos said, lowering his head sadly. Celestia’s expression turned from a face of curiosity to her normal warm smile, “And I thought he was doing a marvelous job.” Ending that with an encouraging wink. Kronos blushed lightly and smiled, “Thanks, Princess.” Kronos turned to stare at Bozarth, “You’re awfully quiet, you have anything to add?” “Not really, it seems like you’re handling the whole explanation thing pretty well.” Kronos brought his hand to the bridge of his nose and muttered, “Ugh, one’s antisocial and the other’s a complete dick... Confound these ponies, they drive me to tolerate...” I murmured, “The feeling is mutual.” The silence filled the room as our poor explanation on humanity in general finished. I could judge each of the different reactions: Both Celestia and Twilight seemed interested and curious, whereas Trixie on the other hand, seemed to be trying to keep herself entertained by playing with my iPod... MY IPOD??!?!? “TRIXIE! How did you get ahold of my ipod!?!” I asked, more surprised than angry. “The Great and Powerful Trixie simply took it out of your pocket when you were sitting down.” She said in a bored tone as she continued to fiddle with it. I should probably be angry with her, I mean as long as she’s not going through and shuffling all of my music there’s a slim chance she’ll hit a pony song. Much less it being a recognizable track. However, it is a little adorable her trying to making an effort to figure it out. “Here, it works better if you take out the headphones and let the internal speakers do their job.” I reached across and yanked out the white cord, bundling it quickly and jamming it back into my front pocket. She played with it a bit more before an instrumental, classical piece began to play over my iPod’s speakers, eliciting a raised eyebrow from Kronos. “Huh... I didn’t take you for the classical type.” Sean slowly looked over and shook his head, “I wouldn’t have expected a guy like you to be into that genre, but whatever it’s your iPod.” I couldn’t help the immediate look of confusion and disgust appearing on my face, “What’s wrong with classical music?” Kronos rolled his eyes, “Nothing, admittedly, it’s not exactly my cup o’ tea, but there’s no problem with it. I just didn’t think you the type for it.” “I have the most eclectic music collection of anyone that you’ve ever met! Classical to rap, classic rock to death met-” Why would I say that. “...al.” Sean chuckled, “I wouldn’t think that the savior of the silk here was a metal head.” I turned to the ponies who had become oddly quiet, Celestia was enjoying the classical quite intently, eyes closed, a small smile gracing her lips. Twilight was next to Trixie, poking and prodding at my iPod. “Oooh, what’s this one?” She tapped the iPod once more and the speakers burst to life, a more electronic, aged song began to play. [song] This song... 80’s, but what song is this... The song began to build slowly as the I could hear the the lead vocalist begin. Sean smirked knowingly. I let out a brief sigh, “Oh no.” Well... it could have been pony related. Sadly, I will never live this down. EVER. “Humidity’s rising~ The sun is getting low~ According to our sources, the street’s the place to gooooooo~” “Can we skip this song?” I threw out pleadingly. Twilight looked up from the device, “Why? This song sounds pretty interesting.” A small, sad smile appeared on my face, “For my dignity?” Trixie just grinned evilly, “And what dignity would that be?” “For the first tiiime, in his-to-ry, it’s gonna start rainin’ meeeeeenn!~ Kronos placed a forearm over his head and lowered it to the table, he began to shake a bit before he burst out laughing. Celestia’s earlier bliss was quickly shattered, her smile grew just a bit, barely noticeable. My left hand slowly raised to my face as I held my now pounding head as I simply stated, “Oh, no reason... and no dignity.” Sean clapped his hands, “Oh Satin, that’s just perfect.” I slowly reached across the small table and hit the next button, “Let’s never speak about this again.” I could just feel the judging of eyes of ponies and the only thing I could hear was the now dying laugh of that jackass I call a friend, Kronos. Why couldn’t the tea have been cyanide. “If you want, I could play a playlist from mine to save you from further embarrassment. The most I need to worry about are meme songs...” Kronos asked, with a slight grin. “It’s fine, let’s just call that one bad luck and move on.” I responded flatly. “...Where’d my iPod go...?” Kronos’ eyes settled on Trixie and he began to glare at her. “Really Trixie!? Didn’t you just take Satin’s? Why do you need mine?” I turned to Trixie who was glaring at another iPod, while mine had found its way into Twilight’s hooves. Trixie merely grunted, “Trixie was curious to see if they were the same, but this one’s broken! It won’t unlock!” Kronos merely grinned smugly, “Passwords, a beautiful invention... You won’t be able to unlock it, can I have it back...?” Trixie placed the iPod back in front of him with a huff of irritation. He picked it up and returned it to his pocket. “So let’s see how talented she is. Dex you still got yours?” “Nope, I always have my ipod in my hand while I’m listening to it, notice how my hand has never left my hoodie pocket?” He said, pulling out his iPod. Kronos merely chuckled, “Two outta three ain’t bad, huh Trix?” “Well, you know what they say about curiosity, right Trixie?” I added. Oh yes, because sayings about dead cats translate to the pony world, stop using words! Trixie waved it off dismissively as she inspected a black wallet... I quickly checked my back pocket for the comfortable lump. Still there... I looked over to the other guys. Kronos’ palm hit his head with an audible smack, “Bozarth, Satin, check your pockets...” Sean reached in his back pocket, “Well, I guess she did take something from me, my wallet appears to be missing.” He looked over at Trixie, “There is nothing in that wallet that is important to me, that is all that needs to be said.” Kronos deadpanned, “Is pickpocketing her talent...? She seems to be doing it quite well...” Sean cleared his throat, “I’m sure what me and my comrades here are trying to ask is....uh.....I really don’t want to ask myself since, well we....uh wanted to know how the odds are of us staying here?” Million dollar question... Kronos shrugged, “That too.” Versus dime store intelligence... I let out an audible sigh, “I’m with Dexy here.” The room grew silent as my gamble with our fates seemed to be coming to an end. The Golden Goddess visibly rolled the decision around in her head as she daintily sipped her tea. I became a bit more nervous, I was living in the bronydom’s top dream and it may be stripped from me in a moment. Think fast! “How... how about a trade?” ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ ~A few hours later, in a room of Canterlot Castle~ “It’s cold....” A shiver ran through my body as I sat atop the simple white bed. I stared intently at my bare legs as I covered... myself with my hands, trying not to make eye contact with pristine white princess in the room. “So, how was it?” Her motherly voice carried over to me. “Quick and with a bit of pain.” Continue staring at floor damnit. “I apologize, it has been so long since I’ve done this...” Her voice tainted with an ounce of sorrow. “In hindsight, you’re very much like Diamond Dogs, a bit small though.” “...I said it was cold.” I let out weakly. “Is there anything else you need me to do?” “No, I’m perfectly satisfied with your performance.” “Can I... Can I put my clothes back on?” My eyes crept up, finally making eye contact for the first time since we started and she was smiling that ever comforting smile. It was reassuring, and yet, I still felt tainted after what she'd just done to me... It was definitely breaching some things I thought forever sacred. One man is NOT meant to be subjected to this kind of thing... “Of course.” ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ ~Kronos~ It had been a few minutes since Satin had been taken for ‘study’ and the library had fallen into relative silence. Twilight was reading, Trixie was still playing with Satin’s iPod, occasionally finding a rather embarrassing song for Satin to never live down. A song, that I could only name as, 'Gay Bar' was playing through the speakers while Trixie merely laughed at the poor man’s expense. Spike was cleaning up the library and Bozarth was listening to his music in the corner. I hopped to my feet and walked over to Bozarth. I patted his shoulder, “Hey, let’s go explore!” He looked up at me for a moment, “I don’t know if that’s such a good idea...” I gave him a deadpanned stare, “Come on ya scrub, we just got here and you don’t wanna see the town? Whatever, have fun and make sure Trixie doesn’t find any pony shit on Satin’s iPod.” With that I began walking towards the door. Dex put his hand on my shoulder, “No, if we go out there it could cause panic, mainly because we are not from here and as soon as we step outside,” he looked around and whispered, “one of the flower mares or even Pinkie could possibly start a mob.” I rolled my eyes, “We were placed on display without panic setting in, now you stay here if you like, I have exploring to do.” I continued on my way and snuck out of the library, and by snuck out, I mean walked out the front door, shortly followed by Bozarth who decided to grow a pair. Those three were far too distracted to even notice. I stepped out into the fresh air and inhaled deeply. The air’s so much cleaner here, I could get used to this. “I guess you’re right, Kronos, there is somewhere I wanted to check out if I ever got here.” He walked off towards the center of town. “See ya later.” I nodded, “ Later.” I walked around town, learning the layout so I could find my way easily. It was surprisingly peaceful, a lot of the ponies about had seen Trixie’s display and greeted me graciously. Though they all held some level of curiosity, some even with fear. It was disheartening, I’ve never been much to fear, it helps that I was surrounded by adorable ponies. I soon ended up EXACTLY where I wanted to be, just down the path from me was a small cottage at the edge of town, animals scurried about, unaware of the scourge of a man walking towards them. I walked up to the house, This is a horrible idea... it really is. Oooohh, a kitty! I turned to see a posh, overly-groomed white cat, stalking an unsuspecting mouse. I crouched on a knee and called to it, causing the mouse to flee, much to the cat’s chagrin. The cat walked up to me, glaring at my outstretched hand. It smacked my hand, catching its claws into the back of my hand. I grimaced for a moment, but continued smiling, it looked at me curiously before removing its claws, and licking the cut. I took my free hand and began gently rubbing its ears. Ha, I knew Opal wasn’t evil! “See? I’m not that bad.” She began rubbing her cheek into the open palm of my hand. I heard a squeak from behind the cottage door. I turned to see the face of a butter-yellow mare with a pink mane and bright teal eyes peeking out from behind the door frame. “Hello,” I looked down at Opalessence, “Err... Sorry, I’ve always had a soft spot for cats.” The mare slowly walked out from behind the door frame, “I-it’s okay, i-if you don’t mind me asking... what are you?” I stayed crouched, worried my height might intimidate her, “My name’s Kronos, I’m a human. Nice to meet you miss...” She attempted to hide behind her mane, “M-my name’s... Fluttershy...” I nodded briefly, offering a hand to her, “Ahhh... Fluttershy sounds like a beautiful name, it’s nice to meet you Fluttershy.” She blushed slightly as she placed her hoof in my hand nervously, “T-thank you... It’s nice to meet you too, K-kronos.” I shook her hoof and returned my attentions to playing with Opal, “She really is an adorable little cat.” Fluttershy giggled quietly and nodded, “S-she is, I’m watching her for a friend, her name is Opalescence.” I nodded for a moment, “Cute.” I looked up towards Fluttershy, looking at her wings, they seemed so delicate. “So, a pegasus... what’s it like to fly?” She seemed to ponder for a moment before responding, “It’s scary... being up so high, knowing so much could go wrong, but it feels so free as well... It’s hard to describe... I nodded again in understanding, “It’s always been a dream of mine... to fly I mean. Maybe someday I’ll find a way, but for now, I’m stuck on the ground. So, you take care of the animals around here?” She nodded. “So what kinds of animals do you watch?” She smiled happily, “Oh, I watch all kinds of animals, birds, squirrels, bunnies, fish, there are just so many of them!” I chuckled a bit, “Sounds like you really enjoy it.” She continued nodding, “Oh yes, I just love taking care of all of the critters!” “I agree, I’ve always loved animals, ever since I was small.” I commented with a chuckle, “I had a dog back home, my folks’ll take good care of her, but I’m gonna miss her.” “What was she like?” She asked, genuinely curious. “She was young, and she loved everyone.” I sighed as I thought, “She would play and nuzzle up to anyone she met. She was a bit schizophrenic though, almost anything could scare her, especially storms... and my niece...” I shook my head in frustration. No. It was the right decision to stay here. I’ll miss her... but I was never much of an uncle anyways, her father can handle her... I was snapped from my thoughts as I felt a hoof touch my shoulder. “A-are you okay? You looked like you were somewhere else for a moment.” Fluttershy commented, her voice tinged with worry. “Y-yeah, I’m fine. Just thinking a bit.” I said with a half hearted chuckle. I began pushing thoughts of my family and friends back home out of my head, as I put on a forced smile. I tensed up as I felt a pair of hooves wrap around my chest. I looked down to see Fluttershy hugging me softly. I smiled a bit before she pulled away. “I-I’m so sorry, y-you just looked so...” She began stuttering nervously before I stopped her. “It’s okay. Thanks, I appreciate it.” I chuckled as Opal began rubbing her face against my hand. “You too, Opal.” I may never see them again... but I’d be a fool to give up a chance at my dream. I’m sorry, but I’m here to stay if I have anything to say about it. ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~Dex~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ Once Kronos walked through the door a thought ran through my head, Perhaps he’s right, I am in Equestria after all. Why not explore? “I guess you’re right Kronos,” I said walking past him towards the center of town, “See ya later.” after a few steps Kronos said something back, but I was too busy making sure I had the map of Ponyville etched into the back of my mind to hear him. Hmmmm... if I remember correctly from the poorly drawn maps back home Sugar Cube Corner should be this way. I pondered my mental map as I walked through the town, receiving waves from any of the ponies who recognised me from Trixie’s earlier stage show. Of course, those who hadn’t seen it, looked upon me with trepidation and fear... As if I was a completely unwelcome sight. It wasn’t all bad though; some seemed genuinely more curious about me than scared. That was better than nothing I suppose. As I strolled through the town, I admired all the brightly coloured houses and shops; adding them as best as I could to the slowly growing map in my mind. Eventually, I came upon the shop I was looking for: Sugarcube Corner. Feeling satisfied, I smiled, and walked into the establishment. A chime rang out as I triggered the bell above the door, and before the last jingle finished, a voice called out from the back room, “Hello! Welcome to Sugarcube Corner!” It was a sweet, slightly older female voice. “Just give me a moment, I’ll be out to take your order in just a second!” “I got it, Mrs. Cake!” another more energetic voice yelled from the top of some stairs that were against the back wall. Before I could even walk two feet passed the door a pink blur dashed up to me. “Oooooh, hello I’m Pinkie Pie!” “Um, hi I’m Dex.” I said, with a half-smile trying not to laugh at the silly Pink pony in front me. Pinkie gasped and ran around me lifting my arms and poking at my legs, “What are you?” I chuckled, “Well isn’t that the question of the century, What am I? Well, I’m a human being, a bipedal creature.” “A human? What’s a human? Is it like a pony?” She asked, cocking her head sideways with a large grin spread across her face. I shook my head, “A long story, not enough time to tell it in, but yeah you can say that humans are like ponies.” “Awww, but I love stories especially long ones about a hero saving a princess and fighting a deadly dragon and living happily ever after with a small house on the prairie.” She said this the eternal smile of hers never leaving her face as she spoke. I laughed, “I’m sorry Pinkie, I would tell you the story, but I’m afraid I would run out of time to tell it and end up in more trouble than I already am in.” “Why? Is somepony after you?” she tilted her head adorably “No, no, I’m just new here and wasn’t supposed to leave where I was.” I replied, smirking at her. “Oh, well would you like to meet Gummy?” she asked, completely forgetting her earlier question. “Gummy?” I asked already knowing the outcome. Before I could say another word, Pinkie pulled a small, toothless alligator from thin air and showed it to me, “This is Gummy.” The alligator jumped from her grasp and chomped on her mane. Pinkie giggled at her little alligator friend, “He’s pretty awesome for a pet.” I said, not knowing what to say. Pinkie nodded, “Yes, he’s an amazing pet, he’s a ton of fun when I throw parties.” “Parties? Sounds fun.” I commented knowingly. “Yeah, it is.” Pinkie suddenly gasped, “You’re new here that means, I gotta go.” She disappeared in a pink blur just like she did when she entered the room. Hm, well I better get going, Twilight will be looking for us by now and... “There you are!” A familiar adorkable, somewhat frazzled voice called from behind. “I didn’t do it, don’t shoot.” I said aloud raising my hands in mock guilt. Twilight trotted in front of me, “What?” I chuckled and lowered my arms, “Just a small joke, sorry.” “You should be! If Princess Celestia came back while you were gone she might’ve decided to send you home!” She said, chastising me. “Sorry.” I frowned guiltily. “It’s okay Dex, lets go find Kronos. It shouldn’t be too hard to find him...” Twilight said, calming herself a bit. I nodded, “Probably not, we stick out like a sore thumb.” She quirked a brow at me. “It’s an expression from back home.”