//------------------------------// // Hallelujah // Story: The Nightmare Before Nightmare Night // by Silent Bob //------------------------------// Beyond my sight the spirits of envy and pride, Took the child of light in complete surprise. Now bait was set, a wicked chord struck, For the one who could save her from such poor luck. "Rainbow Death! Have you seen dear Twilight anywhere?!" Dr. Whoovenstein cried. "No..." she groaned, plucking on her blues guitar near the front door of Twilight's treehouse. Dr. Whooevenstein swallowed hard. "You're sure about this?!" "How could I not be sure, doctor?" she grumbled. "Ugh..." he groaned. "Damn it all! She's the master of scares, for the love of the drums! I need her opinion on my idea on how to turn my counterpart into a shivering ball of fear!" “Who, Dr. Whooves?” “Who else?” Rainbow gave a chuckle. “Heh, I’ve paid him a visit once or twice, though that quirky pony just doesn’t want to die.” She then rolled her eyes. “Regenerations… what a weird, confusing concept.” “So he doesn’t even fear death?!” Dr. Whoovenstein cried. Rainbow quirked an eyebrow. "Nope, you're just going to have to figure out a better idea on your own.” "Fine," he growled as he began to walk off, muttering to himself, "bloody hell, if I didn't know any better I'd say she ditched us!" "Seems like you don't know better then," Rainbow whispered sorrowfully, continuing to strum. "Rainbow!" another voice cried. "What?!" she screeched, this time striking a rotten chord. "Have you seen Twilight anywhere?!" Mayor Scare said nervously, her perpetual worried face currently now facing forward. "I can't make decisions around here without her!” She then leaned closer. “I'm an elected official, not a decider. Decisions always seem to need her backing." “What sort of decisions?” Rainbow asked curiously. At that, she took a deep breath before saying, “I’m not sure how many ghouls we should send through the gates…” A moment of silence passed as Death pretended to think about it. "Forty-two," she finally concluded. "W-What?!" "You heard me,” she said. “It’s the answer to life, the universe, and everything. Run with it." "Are you sure?" Death simply nodded. "Yep." “That doesn’t make much sense, though…” “Hey, I’m Death. I can see the strings of the universe. Trust me. Forty-two.” "W-Well if you say so…" the mayor stuttered, a lightbulb shining above her head. "You know… I think I get it, actually! I'll have to remember that one!" Death gave a curt nod. "Now go forth, live long, and prosper!" she grunted. "Thank you, Rainbow!" the mayor cried as she scurried away. At that, Death gave a sigh. "Ugh, why does everyghoul think I know where Twilight is? If I knew that, I would have gone and gotten her myself…" She glanced at the treehouse longingly. "I love scaring... I really do. It's fun, invigorating, and sometimes gives a pretty big ego boost." She then peered downwards in sorrow. "But... the real reason I keep coming back here every year... well, let’s just say it isn't because the Elements belong together... except perhaps maybe two. Death, and she who defies her." "Everything alright, sugar?" Applemoon said, walking up towards her. "Yeah... peachy," she grunted. "Not like my best friend just went and ditched us on Nightmare's Eve, the one week I have to be with her..." The lycan narrowed her eyes slightly. "Mmmm, she’s my friend too you know." However, she then gave a sympathetic smile. "But I know there's more to it than that with you, isn't there?" Rainbow Death merely glanced away from her, continuing to strum. "Anyway, I wanted to know if you-" Death hit a sour note once again. "Ugh! I don't know where Twilight is, OK? Can't anyghoul just get along without her!?" "Actually," the lycan pony said, holding up a hoof. "I just wanted to know if you've seen my sister anywhere." "Your sister?" Rainbow said, raising an eyebrow. The werewolf gave a worried nod. "Yep. Her, Scootaweb, and Rotten have all gone missing, too." Death quirked an eyebrow. "Think Twilight might have something to do with this?" The lycan took a deep, stuttered breath. "I-I'm not sure... I hope not." She then glanced away from Rainbow. "You know... I actually think Spike might know where she got off to, at least." Rainbow's eyebrows narrowed. "How do you know?" "I just... know when people are hidin' stuff from me, is all, and when I asked him about it… well, let’s just say I guess my counterpart's Element might be within me... just a teeny bit." "Hmph," Death grunted. "Well why isn't he saying anything about it?" Applemoon shrugged. "Beats the fur off me, that's for sure." At that, Death gave another sorrowful sigh, her friend quirking an overly-long lycan eyebrow. "You're sure you don't want to talk about things?" "No..." The lycan smirked slightly. "Yeah ya do..." Rainbow rolled her eyes. "I really don't..." She gave a chuckle. "The more you say no, the more I hear yes. You're the kind of ghoul who always means the opposite of what they say." With that, Death gave a disgruntled moan. "Please... just leave me alone." "You’re absolutely-“ “Yes.” Applemoon then gave a sigh. “Well… alright then. Just let me know if you hear anything, alrighty?” “You got it,” Death said, waving a lazy hoof as Applemoon began sauntering away. At that, Death began a sorrowful strum composed of four simple, but powerful chords, making sure noghoul was around her when she did so. Satisfied, she took a deep breath, and with her surprisingly good voice, began to sing: "They say there is a secret chord, That you can play to please the lord, But you never cared for ends now did you? It goes like this, the fourth, the fifth, The mighty fall, the major lift! From one baffled heart who never knew ya... Hallelujah... Hallelujah... Hallelujah... Hallelujah... I never thought I'd be so depraved, I saw you dancing on your grave, But your beauty in the moonlight took me to you. I finally learned that I could sing, As you went and cut my wings! But now you've went and gone before the hallelujah.... Hallelujah... Hallelujah... Hallelujah... Hallelujah... As time went on I came to know, That some deserve a second go, The golden gates can wait til I see through you. You've planted your flag upon my heart, Though love is not a victory march! It's a cold and it's a broken hallelujah! Hallelujah... Hallelujah... Hallelujah... Hallelujah... Baby I've been on this road before, I've seen this room, I've walked this floor, Loneliness is a blade that sticks right through you... And now my feelings will never sound, They'll always be within the ground! I guess I'm just not meant for a hallelujah... Hallelujah... Hallelujah... Hallelujah... Hallelujah..." She took a deep breath at the end of it, gazing up at the sky. "Wherever you are, Twilight, I hope you're alright... I don't want the next time I see you to be at the gates." She then shook her head. "My question is though: did you find what you were looking for?" ☼☼☼ ☼☼ ☼☼☼ "Shots, shots, shots-shots-shots, Shots, shots, shots-shots-shots, Shots, shots, shots-shots-shots, Shots-shots! EVERYPONY!" "Twilight! Lil' Jon commands us to take more shots together! WE MUST OBEY HIM!" Pinkie shouted, speakers blaring around her. "Woooo yeah!" Twilight Soulshard cried, filling up six glasses at the table her and the Elements of Harmony sat at, it located in Ponyville's only nightclub. "Tequila," she hiccuped. "Why the heck do you have such a girly name?! This isn't a girly drink! You're like... a friggin' drink of the gods! The girly... manly gods... and stuff." "Hahaha!" Applejack giggled groggily. "You are drunk are so right now!" "Your face is drunk," Twilight said, sticking her tongue out. "You definitely just mixed up that last sentence, hahaha!" "Bahahaha!" Rainbow Dash giggled. "Ms. Moonshine can't hold her liquor, Ms. Moonshine can't hold her liquor!" she sang in a childish tone. "Oh you hush before I challenge you to a drinking contest and kick you sorry flank across the bar!" Applejack growled. "Anytime. Anywhere!" Rainbow Dash smirked confidently. "I'll kick yo flank into the air. HAHAHA, OH MY GOSH THAT RHYMED!" "Shots, shots, shots-shots-shots, Shots, shots, shots-shots-shots, Shots, shots, shots-shots-shots, Shots-shots! EVERYPONY!" "BOTTOMS UP!" Twilight called, her six 'friends' immediately gulping down the tequila before wincing at the burn, all except Fluttershy. Noticing this, the Lich Queen quirked a suspicious eyebrow. “Heyy…. how come you can take this stuff like a champ?" "Oh my..." she peeped, not even remotely drunk. "I'm not sure. It must just be a gene thing. I swear this is my first time." "Yeah, what gives, Twilight?! You've never wanted to hit the night club before!" Rainbow grinned. The Lich Queen gave a smirk. "Eh, well I'm a changed girl, girls! And I gots a plan!" "Oooooooo, what plan?!" the group cried drunkenly, leaning closer. "A glorious plan!" Twilight announced, raising a triumphant hoof. "I say we just get on a friggin' train and ride that steam-driven awesome machine all across this beautiful land of Equestria! Right! Friggin'! Now!" "Oh heck yeah!" Pinkie beamed, waving the bottle of tequila about. "The Friendship Express is about to become the PARTY EXPRESS!" "Heck yeah it is!" Twilight screamed. "You guys have already got the picture here! And we won't stop til the sun hits the sky! We'll go to South Equestria, to Appleloosa, and Dodge City!" "BEEEEYAAA!" her friends cheered. "Then we're gonna go to Filledelphia, and Manehattan!" "BEEEEEYAAAA!" "And Los Pegasus, and Van Hoover!" "BEEEEEYAAAA!" "AND THEN WE'RE GONNA GO TO CANTERLOT AND CHILL IN THE WHITE PALACE!" "BEEEEEEYAAAAAAAAAAAAAA!" "Heck yeah! Let's get going!" Pinkie cried. "Hold on," Twilight said, smirking as she dizzily careened around in her chair, alcohol soaring through her veins. "One. Last. Sho-" Her head then slammed to the table, drool spilling out of the side of her mouth. "Hahaha! Lightweight!" Rainbow Dash giggled drunkenly, before slamming face first down as well. Applejack raised an eyebrow, letting loose a sigh. "Ugh. Check their pulses. Friggin' city folk." ☼☼☼ ☼☼ ☼☼☼ "Rainbow Death!" a voice cried, startling the grim reaper out of another song she was playing. Floating from the sky came Rotten-Belle, a panic-stricken look upon her. "Rotten?" Rainbow said, raising an eyebrow. "There you are! The town's been-" "No time!" she squeaked. "What?!" Rotten took a deep breath: "TwilightorderedustogototheothersideotkidnaptheotherTwilightbutthenweweresostupidandbroughthertoNightmareMoonbutshwascoolbutshegotPrinceBlackbloodtoescortusbutthenhewentandkidnappedTwilightandScootaweb-" "Rotten!" Death cried, exasperated. "For the love of the scythe, I need that to be about ten percent slower and twenty percent more coherent, please." Her eyes then narrowed. "I heard Prince Blackblood though, so I suppose there's douchebaggery involved." With that, Rotten took a deep breath, nodding. "Long story short, Twilight Sparkle is on this side of the gates. You know, our Twilight's counterpart?" Death gave a nod. "Yeah, I've heard of her. She's one of the good ones. Locked up that nasty piece of work Discord if I remember right. Where is she, though?" "Blackblood ponynapped her! We took her to Necropolis to uh... meet... Nightmare Moon, and she was fine with it all, but then she asked us to bring her back to her side, him escorting us, and he laid out some sort of crazy undead ambush!" "Ugh, that sack of crap!" Death growled, striking an angry chord before composing herself slightly. "Pardon my language, kid. Anyway, so where's our Twilight?" At that, another voice entered the scene, this one belonging to Spike as he fluttered down from the dead treehouse's upper windows, the size of a bat now. "Ugh... I think I know," he grumbled. "I might as well come clean now that the crap's hit the fan." "You were easedropping?" Death said, raising an eyebrow. "No, I just happened to guess what you two were talking about," Spike said blankly. Rainbow gave a chuckle. "The snark is strong with this one." Her tone then grew serious. "Anyway, where the heck is Twilight? The town's falling apart without her around to help lead Nightmare Night." At that, the dragon took a deep breath. "I think she might be on the other side of the gates... taking the 'real' Twilight's place." Death's eyes widened. "Are you sure?!" "I think he's right!" Rotten cried. "That's what the other Twilight said she was doing, too!" With that, Rainbow gave a sigh. "You two are serious, aren't you?" She then narrowed her eyes. "Whelp, it seems I've got the other side to pay a casual visit, then. Someghoul needs to convince the Lich Queen to come home." "B-But what about Blackblood!" Rotten cried. "He has Scootaweb and Apple Doom, too!" "You know what they say about him, right?" Spike gulped. "Yeah, cus I'm the one who says it," Death grunted, before taking another deep breath. "Alright Spike, you head to the other side and try to convince our Twilight to come home. You can shrink to the size of a fly or something so nopony spots you." He gave a nervous simper. "Yeah but... uh... flyswatters." Death gave him a blank look in return. "Then shrink to something smaller! Come on Spike, we need to get her back...” Her voice became hushed. “I need to get her back..." At that, Spike quirked a suspicious eyebrow, though he soon gave a reluctant sigh afterward. "Alright, I'll try my best... but I've kind of been acting like a jerk to her lately... I hope she'll listen." "She will," Death smiled. "Just don't be forceful about it." Her eyes then narrowed. "In the meantime, I've got business to pay with a certain douche, business a long time coming." She then pulled out a whetstone, beginning to sharpen her scythe. "I'm not really supposed to interfere with the affairs of the living in this way... but I've been chewed out before. Noghoul will miss him, anyway." "B-But... you don't even know where he's gone!" Rotten pointed out. Death gave a smirk. "Yeah, but I know where he usually hangs out: in the very same area where me and Twilight once went hiking and found Frostmourne, the Frozen North. I'm the only one who can get there quickly, so it looks like I'm going to have to go..." She raised her hood, her eyes glowing white in its darkness. "Alone." "Uhhh... bit dramatic, don't you think?" Spike said. Death then gave a brief giggle, lowering her hood. "Hahaha! I'm such an awesome loose-leaf reaper who doesn't play by the rules sometimes." Rotten and Spike quirked their eyebrows, her own narrowing. "Seriously though, I hope he's ready to say 'hi' to Cthulhu for me, because his gooey flank is getting sent back to Null Space." At that, she stowed her whetstone, flapped her single long, black wing and cascaded into the night. ☼☼☼ ☼☼ ☼☼☼ Snow fell upon a frozen, lonely mountain range, the moon glistening down upon its peaks. Deep beneath them lay miles of long-forgotten mine shafts, though perhaps not forgotten by all. "Master... I've never been one to question your judgement before, but it seems like we've gone and bit off more than we can chew this time," Trixie said nervously, pacing about a small, dirty, underground room. "Why did you wish to kidnap Twilight Sparkle?" Blackblood gave a slight chuckle. "Well, originally I just wanted to have her killed and then have a good snack..." He then sighed slightly. "And that would have been so delicious, too... the other side's souls always are. But an Element, though? I can't even imagine the power and thrill that would give me." He then lifted a goey hoof. "However, I now have another plan in mind. A plan that will benefit both of us, Trixie." "That isn't my name anymore!" she spat. "I haven't been known as Trixie Elphaba since what was rightfully mine was stolen from me! I am now the Wicked Witch of the West, nothing more." "Mmmm yes... such a pity what happened," Blackblood mused. "I was all lined up to become the next student of the great Nightmare Moon!" she roared, storming about the room. "I was the greatest necromancer in Edeathstria! I could grasp the mortal coils of hundreds and hold them in my hooves!" Her eyes then narrowed. "Yet she just couldn't let her former student go when she passed. She just had to bring her back, turning her into that wretched Lich Queen!" Blackblood gave a chuckle at that. "And now I have a way for you to rightfully receive what is yours." "Oh?" Trixie mused. "Yeeeees," Blackblood said, his voice a snakelike hiss. "You will be leaving here to Terrosville soon. I've heard rumors that the town is in disarray, Twilight Soulshard having gone missing. I am now confident she's on the other side of the gates." "You... want me to take over for her," Trixie said, smiling slightly. "Why not? You are a famous necromancer. They will follow your lead." Trixie's eyes widened with glee. "Oooh, thank you master!" she cried merrily. "This is a perfect idea!" Blackblood lifted a hoof. "However, I want you to do something before you leave. I want you to interrogate Twilight Sparkle to find out what sort of defenses Ponyville has that could pose a danger to you and your kin during the... festivities..." "A wise idea," Trixie nodded. "And I also want to see how much information you can squeeze out of her about the various residents of Ponyville, including her friends... when it comes to their greatest fears." His many mouths grinned, him walking over to her side. "Image it Trixie, imagine bringing mortal terror to the Elements of Harmony, and then, once you're done with that, you defeat Twilight Soulshard in a duel... and neutralize her. Nightmare Moon will be so impressed that she'll make you her appointed student!" "B-But... she cares about her Twilight... she brought her back from the dead!" Trixie argued. Blackblood gave a cackle. "Not anymore. Her student abandoned her to the other side. I was there when she found out... I heard the disappointment in her voice. She's ready to abandon her in return." At that, he pointed towards the doorway to the room. "Now go and have your fun with the Element of Magic. Leech the information from her anyway you can. Use truth serum if you must." Trixie gave a confident smirk. "Hehehe... we'll see if that's needed." However, she then gave him a concerned glance. "What of Death though? Do, you think she'll come here?" Blackblood nodded. "Yes... and when she does, I'll be ready for her, for Death isn’t familiar with my kind.” He gave a brief chuckle. “I know what she is..." His many mouths suddenly slid open, revealing twirling vortexes of glowing mist leading into a black void. “But I wouldn't say likewise.”