//------------------------------//
// Suited For Success 
// Story: The Everlasting Hope 
// by Plasmadon 
//------------------------------//




Chapter 14: Suited for Success

I trotted through Ponyville, making my usual rounds (if you can’t remember, it’s whatever the Apples need and twenty gallons of lemonade). Ponies all around waved and greeted me happily, and I returned their hellos. I think I’m starting to get soft. I need a Trigun reference soon or I’m going to die. And I thought I knew just where I could find one. 
I spotted Rarity working hard on some new dress in the Carousel Boutique. I trotted in, stopping the familiar bell ring with a little magic. Hey, she’s in “the zone”. The last time I interrupted “the zone” I was nearly impaled by two dozen sewing needles. Luckily, she already had two visitors distracting the crap out of her.
“Hola, mi amigos,” I said in what I hoped was a Spanish accent. Everypony looked over at me, confused.
“What in the hay does that mean?” AJ asked me. I shrugged.
“Something to do with ‘Hello’ and ‘friends’, I think. Never was good at foreign language.” I looked up, hearing the faint whistle of a pegasus falling. “Rainbow Crash in three… two… one…” on cue, our favorite rainbow-maned pegasus crashed through the ceiling and embedded her head in the floor. “And, here she is, right on schedule. I should be a director or something.”
“Ha, ha, very funny,” Rainbow hissed, pulling her head out of the floor. Rarity got that gleam in her eye that signaled something out of measurement hell.
“IDEEEEA!” she crowed. “I’ll make you all outfits for the Gala!”
“But Andrew isn’t going to the Gala, Rarity,” Twilight said. “Celestia didn’t give him a ticket.”
“Yeah. I’ll be staying on the farm, taking a good old nap, while you guys are off at Canterlot.” AJ gave me a sympathetic look. “Oh, I still want an outfit, though. I’ll run you by the details in a few minutes, Rarity. Right now, I have a bad feeling about Sweetie Belle’s room.” Before anypony could answer, I raced upstairs. I knocked on the door and opened.
“The room’s on fire!” Sweetie and Applebloom yelled to me. No freaking way. I never would have noticed if you didn’t point it out.
Not now, brain. Save the sarcasm for when you’re not saving lives.
The room was indeed in flames. Though no smoke rose, blue-green fire danced across the furniture. I sighed and crossed the room, putting out fires wherever I went. Eventually, the room was clear. Sweetie Belle came up to me with tears in her eyes. She hugged me tight, like a toy that a kid refused to let go of.
“It’ll be alright, Sweetie Belle,” I cooed, stroking her mane. “Don’t worry, I can fix all of it.”
“But… how?” she asked sadly. I grinned and winked.
“Magic.” I envisioned the room as it once was, with a few personal touches; an eighth note on the headboard, a treble clef painted into the wall, and a few other music-related things. I tried using my magic, and the entire room was engulfed in white light. When it cleared, everything was as it was in my head. I even put an ice-cream sundae maker in a corner. Sweetie Belle hugged me again. After a minute, I shrugged it off, and stared at Scootaloo.
“You were playing with Spike’s dragon fire again, weren’t you?” I deadpanned. She nodded sheepishly. “Scootaloo, how many times have I told you not to bottle up dragon fire and use it in people’s houses?”
“Um… once?” she said innocently. I facehoofed. 
“Just don’t do it again. If you do, I’ll make sure Cheerilee has your head on a silver platter.” Scoots shivered a little, and that’s when I knew I had her. The filly only answers to three people: me, Cheerilee, and Rainbow. Get one of us on her case, and she talks like Pinkie Pie on a sugar high (hey, that rhymed!).
“Alright. Nopony’s injured?” I asked. They shook their heads. “Good. I have an outfit to rock.”
I trotted back down the stairs. Rarity was scrutinizing a few measurements. I noticed the tape next to her.
“Rarity,” I said. She began to approach me with the tape held aloft. “If you go anywhere near me with that tape, I’m lighting this place.” I kindled a small flame on the tip of my horn to emphasize. Rarity looked at me with exasperation. “Hey, if you’re that desperate, use the measures you took from me last time.”
“Oh, but you’ve developed so much more muscle since then!” she exclaimed. “Please?”
Damn you Bambi eyes. I’m starting to see why Maximum Ride fears Nudge so much. “Fine. But no more measurements than necessary, got it?” she nodded eagerly. I sighed. That annoyingly funny white room formed in my mind’s eye.
“These ponies will be the death of us both, Andy,” Vael said. I sighed.
“Long time no see, demon boy. And if you call me Andy again, I will rip out your shadowy intestines and force feed them to you through a straw. Got it?”
“Killjoy.”
“Shit pile.”
After trading a few more choice insults with my emotion-bonded demon, I returned to reality to find Rarity studying me with fervor.
“What would you like, Andrew?” she asked. “Something simple? Something abstract?”
“I don’t care, as long as you make me look damn awesome.” She cocked her head, apparently thinking. Then, without so much as a warning glance, she jumped and shrieked, zipping towards her studio.
Well. I guess she got her idea.
I went through Ponyville, kind of upset that I didn’t get my Trigun reference. And that’s when I spotted it.
It was beautiful. It was awesome. And it was an exact, to the molecule, replica of Vash the Stampede’s revolver. I quickly bought it off the Doctor.
Wait. The Doctor.
“So let me get this straight.” I was equally surprised, jealous, and pissed. “You got to meet Vash the freaking Stampede and you didn’t even take me?” he nodded. “I hate you so much.”
Well, he didn’t take it into further detail, so I just bought a black synthetic holster for it and went on my way. Did you know cows were sentient in this world? No leather.
That brought me to another problem. On this world, I didn’t have fingers. How the hell was I going to hold a gun, much less shoot it? That led me to yet another problem. Do these ponies even know what guns are? Hell, do they even know what violence is? Wait a moment, how exactly is that a problem?
Damn, I’m rambling on again. Sorry.
So, about a day passed. I learned that ponies had speed skating rinks, so the girls, Danny, Starlight and I headed on down there to try. There was so much blood.

I headed back to Rarity’s the next day. Hey, I can’t say I don’t trust her ability to work fast. The other girls were already there.
“Aren’t they all wonderful!” Rarity exclaimed in a proud voice. I opened the door and…
Well, let’s just say this: jaw, meet floor. Floor, meet jaw. Here’s a ball. Play nice.
Seriously, those dresses were incredible. You could distinctly tell which one was for whom; twilight’s had stars, AJ was spruced up with a new Stetson, etc. I imagined just how much Rarity worked for those, but none of the girls seemed to be applauding.
“It’s just not what we were expecting,” Twilight explained sheepishly. I raised an eyebrow.
“Really? ‘Cause these look freaking awesome.” 
Twilight shrugged. “whatever you say.”
“No!” Rarity shouted, startling us all. “I mean… I want you all to be happy with your dresses. You can’t simply like them, no! you must love them!” Rarity, the thing about these ponies… they’re insane. Making them love their dresses is making them look horrid. No offense to my friends here. 
“Thanks for this, Rarity,” Twilight said as she and the others exited the shop. Rarity raised an eyebrow.
“Hey, I don’t have any specifications, other than making me look totally badass.” She nodded and took me to a different room, where only one outfit was displayed on a masculine-looking mannequin. 
Again, the jaw and floor meet.
It was incredible. A black denim jacket was tucked over a white undershirt, with a loose tie hanging around the neck. There was a pair of sunglasses on the head, and a massive silver cross was strapped to the back. 
(The author would like to make an announcement. This cross is in no way a Jesus reference, as the author does not want to be religiously classified. It’s just pure awesome.)
I’m serious. I nearly fainted from the sheer awesomeness of it.
“Do you like it?” Rarity asked nervously. To answer her question, I jumped up and kissed her forehead.
“Rarity… you are freaking incredible,” I choked out through my laughs of awesome-induced drunkenness. “Seriously, if I wasn’t already in love, I could kiss you right now.”
“Well, you are a friend, and my friends deserve the best of the best!” Rarity twittered.
“Alright, since you’re obviously busy, I will continue to go about Ponyville in a manner that not only exclaims ‘I feel like a badass’, but I will manage it without ruining this beautiful piece of art.” Fate decided to catch wind of my words.
Fortunately, I kicked its immortal ass before it had a chance to make sure stuff went wrong. So I put on my new outfit, paid Rarity for said outfit, and stepped out into the sunlight.
Blade the Vampire Hunter, eat your heart out.

(Hello. It’s me, Daniel. The next couple days were rather boring, so the author will now skip them. Enjoy!)
On the third day since I got my outfit, I strode through town, making my runs. I was extremely glad Pinkie and the Cakes had stocked up on lemonade, because that was pretty much the only thing that woke me up at that point. I walked into Rarity’s boutique, ready to see the finished dresses again.
“AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!” I screamed, scrubbing at my eyes. It burned! Oh, God, it burned!
“I take it you don’t like them?” Rarity asked miserably. I looked to her instead of the dresses, feeling the tears slowly stop.
“That is a crime against fashion!” I almost shouted. Rarity suddenly collapsed, bawling on the ground.
“Oh, I know!” she cried. “They’re terrible! Applejack wanted something so farmworthy it looks like a nightmare. Twilight’s has too much to do with stars, Pinkie’s is too celebratory, and Rainbow Dash would look like a barbarian in hers. And Fluttershy –oh, Celestia, it’s horrible!” she cried even harder. I trotted over to comfort her, but at that moment, five mares walked through the doors. Rarity immediately sat up, stopping the tear flow like a faucet.
“Oh, hello, girls!” she said cheerily. It kind of scares me how she can switch emotions at will. It’s like she’s so bipolar, it’s hard to tell that she’s bipolar.
Wait, that didn’t make any sense.
“Well ah’ll be,” AJ exclaimed.
“It’s exactly what I wanted!” everyone said happily. I felt a pit sink into my stomach. So it’s official. Rarity is the only one with any sense of fashion in the pony universe.
“Rarity!” Spike shouted from the window. He was holding a rather expensive looking letter. “You know that big fashion hotshot, Hoity Toity?” 
“You mean the greatest-fashion-critique-ever-to-live Hoity Toity?” Rarity asked, excitement creeping into her voice.
“Yeah, him! Well, it turns out he’s visiting Ponyville to visit his daughter, and he’s stopping by to see your fashion show!”
Shit.
Rarity’s eyes widened. I quickly scooped her up and dragged her outside. “Come on Rarity, we have a stage to set up.”

It took me a full half hour to calm down Rarity after Spike delivered the message. She moped around, miserably setting up equipment. Poor her. It must be hard, having all of your dreams crushed by your friends. Wow, that made me sound like a dick.
“Hoity Toity is here!” a prissy voice said. If I weren’t so concerned about Rarity, I’d punch that guy for being male. Seriously, he sounded like Justin Beiber on estrogen.
“Alright, maybe this won’t go so bad,” I muttered to myself.
Oh, how wrong I was.
The girls came out together. Stifled gasps came from the crowd that had gathered. Somewhere, a foal started crying. I had to stifle my own moans of pain. The girls looked around proudly, until Hoity Toity started talking.
“Oh, look at these foul dresses. They’re horrible!” he said condescendingly. The crowd began to agree with him and boo the girls. AJ looked around nervously.
“Girls… ah think we overdid it.” She rubbed the back of her head with a hoof. I could hear Vael laughing his ass off inside my head. The nerve.
Rarity herself was in hysterics. The second the show ended, she locked herself in her room and refused to come out.
“Dammit, Rarity!” I shouted. “Open up!”
“NO!” she wailed. “I want to stay in here for the rest of my life. I’ll never leave again!”
“Alright, then you won’t mind if I torch your boutique.” A pause.
“You wouldn’t dare.”
“Oh?” I asked innocently. I summoned a burst of flame at the tip of my horn, making sure the crackle was audible. “Watch me.”
Rarity shoved the door open, knocking me out of the way in the process. She began frantically checking her merchandise for burn marks.
“What happened to my Gala dress?!” she squeaked. 
“Hell if I know,” I muttered. I rubbed my head and got up. Trotting out the door, I found out where the dress had gone.
“Uh, I think I just found your dress, Rare.” Rarity raced outside to see the most incredible dress I’d ever seen. The other girls were looking at her, sheepish smiles on their faces.
“Nice save,” I muttered to Twilight. She nodded doubtfully.
Oh, it’s gorgeous!” Rarity exclaimed. “But however did you make it?”
“Well, it was a combined effort,” Twilight started.
“Along with Fluttershy’s freaky knowledge of sewin’,” AJ interjected. Fluttershy blushed and stepped back.
“Well, it’s right damn impressive, if I do say so myself,” I said. 
“Oh, dears, you shouldn’t have. It’s positively beautiful!” Rarity cheered.
“Now what say you girls we show that prick Hoity Toity who the best designer in Equestria is?” I asked, grinning like a madman. The girls cheered. Welcome to handsome, Mr. Toity. Welcome to handsome.

“Alright,” Hoity growled impatiently, “When is this going to be over? I have places to be.”
Rarity’s voice rippled over the stage. “Welcome, fillies and gentlecolts, to Rarity’s newly improved fashion line!” Twilight started the procession. With her blue dress embroidered in stars, the newly formed crowd was rendered awestruck. 
Applejack was next, followed by Fluttershy. The two had their own distinctions, but may I just say…
Damn, AJ looks hot in that dress. It was mainly just a saddle with a sort of skirt, an apple brooch, and the new had, but something about it just caught my eye. Fluttershy’s looked much better as well. At least she didn’t keep the bird’s nest hat.
The crowd “ooh’ed” and “aah’ed” when Pinkie came out in her dress. It was –that the lord– better than the one covered with streamers and candy. The background montage shifted to cover Rainbow’s dress. Hers was the one that looked the most formal, especially with the gold olive branch Rarity had crowned her with. It complemented her rainbow mane considerably, and the crowd was absolutely infatuated. 
Alright, it’s showtime, I thought. I grinned and slid my glasses down over my eyes, walking onto the strip with the air of confidence only a vampire hunter could give off. The crowd gasped as I appeared. Many of the mares dropped to the ground. My grin grew wider. I strutted up the runway before finally giving one last bow and returning to the shop. Then the spotlight hit Rarity.
she had burned off any traces of nervousness, and was flaunting her beauty with the grace of a model. Hoity decided it was now to explode into cheers. “Bravo! Magnificent!” he shouted. “Oh, I want a dozen of each of these, as fast as you can make them!”
I escaped to the barn to avoid the hundreds of swooning mares that wanted my blood. It was actually late in the evening, considering the fact that the fashion show had only taken about ten minutes. The other odd part that I had trouble adjusting to with this new season was the fact that the sun never had any gradual descent –it just stayed in the sky until about nine in the evening, where it would suddenly drop to be replaced by the moon. I shut the light out, however, and fell asleep leaning on my cross.

A/N

I'm back!
Oh God, I'm sorry for making you guys wait so long. after three weeks, i finally regained use of my left hand, but the creative juices just weren't flowing, so I got lazy and put the story off for about a month. I finally got my big inspirational break about a day ago, but don't criticize if it's worse than before; I am most likely very rusty in my writing. Also, I'd like to reiterate that the cross is not a Jesus reference. Because some people just don't listen the first time.