Fluttershy's garden was absolutely lovely. There were no fences anywhere, the animals just came back to their places when it was time to eat. Andre assumed that the same would happen when it was time for them to go to bed as well. Of course only a few of the groups of critters had legitimate little homes. Those were the ones that were Fluttershy's actual pets, and also the only ones that they had to feed.
Andre was pouring food for some of the kitties and bunnies when he felt a small tug on his pant leg. He looked over to his right, and saw Angel looking fairly discontented, and pointing lazily at the cottage.
"What is it? You want me to go to the cottage? Does Fluttershy want me?" Quick nodding, followed by a quick dash to the cottage door by Angel prompted Andre to go inside. He closed the door, and looked around, trying to find Fluttershy.
"Ma'am?"
"In here!" she called from the kitchen. "And you don't need to call me 'ma'am'. You can just call me Fluttershy."
"OK then, Fluttershy. What is it you needed?"
"Oh it's not what I need, it's what you need. You've been working for hours, and I thought you would be hungry, so I made us some lunch." Upon reflection, Andre realized he was, in fact, starving. He didn't even have breakfast that morning.
"Oh, wow thanks. I'd love some!"
He didn't even know what it was he would be getting. He walked over into the dining room and sat with Fluttershy on a chair that was almost too small for him. It creaked slightly under his weight, making Andre just a little nervous. Fluttershy put down a plate in front of him, and Andre was a little less than eager to eat. There was a large portion of hay on the side of a rather good-looking sandwich. Andre examined the sandwich, picking it up and looking at it with curiosity. Fluttershy had been watching him to see if he would like the food she had prepared, and noticed his curiosity.
"Um, it's got grass, dandelions, and lettuce on it. Is that a problem?" Uh...
"Uhhhh its nothing Miss Fluttershy." Without skipping a beat, he bit into the food. At first is wasn't bad at all, as he happened to get a mouth full of lettuce. However, the taste of the grass and texture of the flowers were less than appetizing with a very bitter taste. He ate probably half of it before attempting to down the hay. The hay had a flavor similar to a burnt toothpick, and was surprisingly easy to put down.
Once Andre finished his lunch he gave Fluttershy a reassuring smile. "That tasted wonderful Miss Fluttershy," stated Andre, holding back his urge to down the glass of water next to him.
Fluttershy smiled and gave a small sigh of relief. "Oh I'm really glad you enjoyed it. Now let's finish the rest of them."
"The....the rest of them?" Flutershy smiled happily and moved aside revealing the small tower of sandwiches behind her.
DAMN YOU, POLITENESS!
Noah was still sitting on the couch, deep in thought about her. In other words Tara, his crush from back home.
As he thought about her, a harsh negative feeling crossed his mind, as if he had had something snatched away from him. He had just been about to finally work up the courage to ask her out. This was really a proverbial kick in the nuts for him, but he held out hope; hope that Celestia would be able to return him and his friends back home to Earth, though he was kind of worried about Adam and Tyler. Adam seemed to really enjoy it here and Tyler was living his dream. Getting them to return home where they belong would possibly take a lot of convincing.
Noah continued on thinking of all the things he would do once he got back home when his thoughts were interrupted by Vinyl.
"Hey dude, i was wondering if you wanted to see my studio?"
Hehe, Noah and Vinyl all alo-
*newspaper smack* NO! Bad Adam!
"Sure I'd love to!" Noah said now snapped out of his trance.
"Cool, follow me." Vinyl said as she walked over to the basement night.
Noah happily obliged as he followed her to the door. Noah found going down the stairs was fairly difficult for him as they were designed for a pony and therefore were a bit steeper and narrower.
After nearly tripping several times Noah finally reached the bottom, Noah found himself staring at a very nice personal studio. On the far wall he could see Vinyl's workstation, complete with mixers and knobs and buttons everywhere. To his right he could see the soundproof room that was undoubtedly used for recording vocals or live instruments.
"Wow Vinyl, this is awesome!" Noah stated happily.
"Thanks dude," said Vinyl as she started turning various nobs and switches. "I make ALL my music right here."
"Wow, I can see that," Noah looked around, admiring every piece of equipment as if he were staring at the holy grail of music creation.
"It took me years to gather all this stuff, and a lot of bits, but now I got one of the most advanced studios in all of Equestria," Vinyl said with pride in her voice. She turned to gauge his reaction; he was still in awe at the musical workshop before him Vinyl looked over Noah's relatively tall figure for a moment. "Hmmmm, you're gonna need a job while you're here right?"
"Well, I guess, if I'm gonna be stuck here for months possibly."
Vinyl grinned for a moment. "Well I have an opening at my club if you want it. Just a few things, bar tending, waiting, cleaning. Not really hard stuff, and if you want I can teach you a little DJing so you could help with the music."
A huge grin spread across Noah's face. "Sure. I'd love to help you!" The idea of working as a DJ at a club was a dream come true!
"Great, lets head on down there now so I can show you some stuff before the club opens," said Vinyl as she started up the stairs.
Tyler continued kicking himself for being pretty much useless as he walked up to the farm house. AJ had told him Granny Smith might need some help, when Tyler got to the front steps he saw her sitting there in her rocking chair.
"Uh Mrs. Smith? AJ sent me up here to see if you needed anything."
"Mrs. Smith," she said with a little laugh. "Nopony's called me that in decades. Ya'll can just call me Granny Smith, it's easier that way."
"Yes Mr- err Granny Smith. Well as I was saying, AJ sent me up here to see if there was anything you needed help with."
"Hmmmm." She sat there for a minute thinking. "Well now that Ah think about it, there a few things Ah could use some help with. The garden needs some tendin' ta, Ah'll need help makin' supper later, the barn needs ta be painted, an' the animals need ta be fed."
Tyler smiled a little. "No problem, I can help with any of that," he said with some eagerness in his voice. He was glad to see there were things to be done that he could easily help with.
"Well, somepony sure is eager ta get ta work. Follow me an Ah'll show ya where everything is." Granny Smith got up from her chair and headed to a small tool shed.
When she entered, Tyler felt like he had walked into a handy mans wet dream. Tools of all shapes and sizes lined every inch of the sheds walls, several containers held nails and screws, wires and paints. There was enough hardware here to start up an entire town.
Hehehe. 'Tools.'
"Lot of this stuff is a bit old, but it works better than that gydon crap we get. Everything ya see was made right here in Equestria," she said with a bit of pride. Tyler couldn't help but chuckle a little at that, earning a confused look from the elderly mare. "What's got ya chucklin' like a chicken?"
"Sorry Granny Smith, you just remind me a little of some one I know," Tyler said.
"Ah see, well let's start ya off with paintin' the barn, that sound alright?"
"Sure thing," Tyler replied.
"Well lets get started then." Granny smith began pointing things out to Tyler that he might need.
Tyler gladly followed and listened, making some notes in his notepad so as not to forget anything, a habit he'd developed to compensate for having a little short term memory trouble. For once he felt good about doing a job; he knew he could do most of the stuff Granny Smith was telling him and that he could do it well.
"Aaaaaauuuugggghhhhh..." Andre moaned loudly as he clutched his stomach. He had managed to down the sandwiches, but a mere fifteen minutes later he was curled up on the ground, unable to move because of the pain in his abdomen. Fluttershy was frantic, and somewhat pissed, even though she didn't show it.
"Why didn't you tell me that humans don't eat all that stuff? I would have gladly taken it out."
"I didn't want to - AH!- be rude."
"Ooohhhh, come now. You don't have to be so careful with me. I wouldn't think of it as rude, just another way I get to do a nice thing for a friend." Her words penetrated Andre's psyche. He dwelt upon them before another wave of pain racked his midsection. He then felt a horribly familiar feeling around his cheeks. No, the OTHER cheeks.
"Where's the bathroom!?" She was taken aback by the sudden question.
"Uh, over there." She pointed to a door across the room, which Andre immediately darted for. He got there, and opened it, and was terrified by what he saw: a toilet so small his 8 year old brother wouldn't even be able to use it. He thought fast, very fast, and decided to bite the bullet. He grabbed as much toilet paper as he could and bolted.
More like USAIN bolted!
*newspaper smack*
OW! What was that for!?
Making a crappy pun.
I don't know if you noticed, but the only things that are crappy right now are Andre's buttcheeks.
*smack*
Andre ran as fast as he could into the woods, away from Fluttershy. He found a nice looking log, pulled down his pants and underwear, and relieved himself. It just kept coming, slowly but surely. It wasn't until he heard the cracking of branches that he noticed the colts standing to his right; he was in the campsite of a Colt Scout troop. They all looked at him with bewildered looks, and the Scout Master was a combination of horrified and petrified.
His situation just keeps getting-
Adam if you say 'shittier' I'm gonna use your beard to wipe myself next time.
...
OK, you know what? Fuck it. Nothing could possibly be worse, I might as well enjoy it. Time to pull a Noah. He looked right into the Scout Masters eyes.
"Hey. How's it going?"
Vinyl walked into a small club, which had "Spinning Record" in bright magic lighting out front. Noah followed closely behind her, which was a little more difficult considering her natural walking pace was a bit faster then him.
"Well here she is. Now, let's get you set up before anypony arrives. I just need you to clean up, do trash, etcetera." Subway all over again.
"Sounds awesome. I can do that, easy." Vinyl grinned, as usual.
"Alright. Well, imma get set up over at the DJ station." She paused, and looked back at Noah. "You make music right? Did you have an artist name? Like, an alias?" The question caught Noah off guard.
"Uh, yeah. Why?"
"Mind telling me what it was?"
"Yeah. G-R-K-step, pronounced 'Jerkstep'." She nodded understandingly.
"Alright, sweet." She walked away without saying another word. Well, that was weird, Noah thought, as he took a seat, waiting for the club to fill up.
As time dragged on, the club slowly filled up with stallions and mares. As could be expected, they all ordered cups and cups worth of cider and beverages, and cups and cups found their way to the ground. Noah, with what he realized was actually very little instruction, simply picked up the trash wherever he could. Sometimes there'd be a clearing and he'd quickly get in and scoop up the garbage into a trash bag he got from behind the bar counter.
After about an hour of this repeated process, Noah got tired, as one would expect. He decided to sit down behind the bar and take a short break to rest his legs. The bartender, a mare with whom he was not familiar, approached him.
"Hey, sweetie, I'm gonna take trip ta tha little mare's room, don' let anyone steal tha liquor, got it? Good." She walked off before Noah could answer, so he just went back to his subtle thoughts. Noah only had one reservation about this, that being that somepony would approach him thinking he was a bartender.
Well, it was not long before his fear came true. It was a rather large stallion, clearly drunk, almost on his flank.
"I'll have another Bloody Mary. MAKE IT SHHHNAPPY!" Crap.
"Sir, I'm sorry, but I'm not a bartender. I can't make drinks, but even if I could, I wouldn't make one for you. You're obviously intoxicated." The stallion stared him in the eyes with a clearly annoyed expression. He did not break eye contact.
"Son, get your white ass back there and make me a damn Mary before I buck ya right in the scrotum." Welp, can't argue with that logic. Noah got up, and moved his white ass over to the cabinet, fearing that his currently intact genitals would cease to remain so. He opened the cabinet, and may as well have been looking at modern art: random things in random places that, when combined were glorified by random strangers who were clearly incapable of rational thought.
Noah had seen Bloody Mary's on TV, and they were usually blood red. So, he filled a tall glass from a bottle labeled "Straight Vodka" and added red food coloring. He stirred it for consistency, then served it to the drunk stallion, hoping beyond hope that he wouldn't know the difference.
The stallion grabbed the glass in he mouth, and whipped his head back, downing the glass in one gulp. He replaced the glass, then straightened his neck, meeting Noah's gaze. He wore that same annoyed expression as his body began Operation Pass The Fuck Out. His head connected with the bar with a loud thunk.
"Well then," Noah said, putting the materials back.
"Oh my Celeshtya." Noah turned to see that bartender mare approaching him again. "Not him again!" Noah looked back and forth between the bartender and the drunk, then back to the bartender.
"So, uh, you know him then?"
"Yeeeah I know 'im. He's a regulah. Ulways causin' trouble. Oh, names Majita, nice ta meetcha, sorey 'bout not indrahducin' maself earlia. Had ta run. So what's ya name?" Her Bostonian accent was incredibly sexy, even if she was a pony. Odd.
"Noah, nice to meet you."
"Likewise." They shook, and Noah gestured to the drunk. "So, what are we gonna do about him?" She laughed heartily.
"Yeah, Miss Vinyl mentioned ya'd be werkin' hia. Ya do tha trash, right?"
"That's correct." She gestured with her hooves.
"Then take out the trash!" She cackled loudly at her own jokes and went back to serving drinks. Noah frowned at the prospect of moving the heavy stallion all by himself, but he went to work without a word.
Noah dragged the unconscious stallion into the alley, as he was instructed by the bartender. He thought about taking him out the front, but that would mean dragging him twenty times farther across a very crowded dance floor. While Noah had no problem with the looks he'd get, he didn't have the strength to do it. After all, he wasn't Army Strong yet.
With a final shove, he let the stallion flop onto the ground. He felt bad about leaving the guy there, and decided to wait for a few minutes. He was called back in by Mahita. He was just in time to hear Vinyl make an announcement over the mic.
"Hey, sorry guys, but we gotta go. Manager says we got an emergency or some crap, and we gotta bail right away. I tried to tell him that his Grandma's birthday didn't warrant it, but you know how it is. See y'all TOMORROW!" With that, the entire crowd mumbled and grumbled their way out the door and probably back home.
"Ho. Ly. Shit." That was probably the hardest Tyler has ever worked in his life. When Granny Smith had finally called the day, he elected to lay on the roof and rest for a bit. He had painted the barn, replaced screws, fed basically every non-sentient being on the farm, shoveled crap, did a bunch of other things which won't be mentioned because Noah has difficulty listing things that go on on a farm, and finally finished with replacing a section of shingles on the roof.
Tyler laid in the soft dusk sun for awhile, almost dozing. He was taken from his thoughts by a sudden absence of light on his eyes, and he opened them to see a gigantic red stallion looking down at him with a blank expression.
"Howdy. Ah don' b'lieve we've met proper. Name's Big Macintosh. Y'all can call me Big Mac." He held out his hoof, which was now hovering over Tyler's body. He was instantly thrown into a flashback of days he'd spend on his uncles horse farm, and all the horrible memories of those massive creatures that came with it. Tyler yelped in fear of being crushed and rolled away, managing to to send himself off the roof somehow. He stood up and stared Big Mac in the eye, ready for a fight. However, Big Mac was incredibly surprised, his mouth open and his eyes a bit wider.
"Hey, now, calm yerself down!" Tyler was breathing heavily, his eyes darting around, trying to find the horses that were trying to kill him. Instead, he saw a concerned Big Mac looking at him. He quickly recovered himself, blushing at that embarrassing episode.
"Oh my God, I'm so sorry. I thought you were, um, trying to hurt me." Mac's eyebrow raised.
"What? Why would Ah try'n hurtcha?" Great.
"Well, I, uh, nevermind, its a long story. So you said your name is Big Mac?"
"Eeyup."
"Nice to meet you, I'm-"
"Tahler. I remember ya. I saw y'all workin' all day, and Ah gotta say, Ah'm impressed." They shook, and released. "Ah honestly thought ya wouldn't be able ta pull yer weight when ya couldn't buck worth a hay, but yer alright, Tahler. It's just nahce ta see somepony who's not afraid ta work fer their dinner's all. Welcome ta the farm."
"Thanks, dude. That means a lot actually." Mac dipped his head in a curt nod.
"'Course." With that, Mac turned and lept from the roof and landed with an exerted grunt, and walked inside the house, no doubt about the get some dinner. Tyler thought to himself for a moment, wait....... how did he get up here? then he face palmed, the guy works on a farm, and obviously has to do roof work, and not to mention he was in a world run by cartoon physics.
Tyler chuckled to himself and sat back down. He began thinking about dinner. It was steak night back at his house. Those glorious, glorious steaks that his dad would make. The warmth of his home, the love of his family, his friends. But He thought also to the mental and emotional torment wrought by his own insecurities, exploited by his younger siblings. He remembered the horrible things he had seen, heard. He remembered how cruel the world at home was. His dark thoughts turned inwards towardsd himself, about how hateful and angry he was. His friends would alwyas tell him he was a nice guy, very empatchetic towards others. When Tyler meet a young troubled freshman he took it upon himself to look after teh kid somewhat, kinda be like a big brother to him. But Tyler beleived the negative parts. He had tried so hard to change, to make himself less angry and hateful, to forgive anyone who wronged him, and to ask forgiveness from those he wronged. But he would fall every time, and go back to being the angry little bastard he was.
He was brought back to Equestria by the sun, now magnificently waning beyond the horizon. It was captivating in every way; the beautiful colors, made brighter and magnificent by the nature of the world itself, were so relentless on him. He thought of the peacefulness of this world, how it was so nice, so pleasant, so warm, so kind.
He thought about it for just a few moments before he realized that he felt something that he had not felt in a long time: peace. Not just temporary relief from his troubles, but, in fact, a glorious, overwhelming calm and lack of stress. He had no more unwanted responsibilities, he was currently in a world that he knew virtually everything about, surrounded by kind-hearted ponies who accepted him, and best of all, he had his best friends in the world were with him.
This realization brought to his eye a single tear, which pathetically dribbled down his face, and onto the shingles he had just repaired. He let the beauty sink in for a few minutes, not moving, just staring at the amazing sky. Maybe.... maybe things can change, a smile parted his lips Yeah, things can change.
Noah had finally gotten all of the trash cleaned up from the floor, and sat down, exhausted. The whole club was clear of trash, and two elderly mares were sweeping the bar floor. He closed his eyes to relax for a moment when he felt a weight on his shoulder. He cracked an eye to see Vinyl standing before him, grinning in that way that she always did. Her shades beautifully reflected his face.
"You did a nice job tonight, bro. I'm all packed up, so let's go home, yeah?" Finally!
"Yeah, sure. I'm SO ready to go to bed." He got up, stretched himself, and proceeded out the door with Vinyl. He passed the drunken stallion, still asleep. He paused, wondering if Vinyl might berate him for what he did. "Hey, uh, should we just leave him here?" She looked around for a moment until she saw the red stallion.
"Huh? Oh yeah, he does this like once a week. He always pays for his drinks the next time he comes in, orders whatever he wants, and pays the next week. It's not good for him, but he's our best customer so the boss let's him do it. He'll wake up tomorrow and go home or something, I wouldn't worry about it." That was awful. Or at least, in Noah's opinion. He reasoned that there must have been a good reason for it. After all, he was in a land of magic, friendship, and talking equines. Nothing like Earth.
He began the trek home with his employer/roommate beside him. The sun was setting, he could tell. He looked up at the sky, and was blown away by the magnificent colors. He was now in a clearing, away from buildings and trees, which led to a tiny road that went out of Ponyville to somewhere else. From here, Noah could see the beautiful mountain ranges.
If the sky was magnificent, then the sunset was nothing short of God-like. He could not describe in his mind just how beautiful it looked. He was so stunned that he stopped, wide eyed, dropped jaw to stare. It filled him with beauty. It was a feeling that he hadn't felt since he last saw Tara.
The pure, beautiful radiance drew him in, engulfed him. His entire body grew warm, as memories of his love swirled in his mind. He was brought to mental apex as he remembered the last time she and him were together. She leaned in and gave him a kiss on the cheek. He remembered that moment, and many others, all brought to the surface by the dazzling display before him. He could not stop the tears of joy from coming, one on each cheek.
"Dude. You OK?" This question snapped him out of his trance. He could feel the afterfeel of that feel. It was feely.
"Oh, uh....yeah. Yeah, I'm fine." And they walked.
Andre made sure to make the guy uncomfortable, shifting all the awkwardness from himself to the Scout Master. He quickly finished and cleaned up, and left without a word.
After an hour of walking, Andre finally made it to Fluttershy's Cottage. It was really disappointing, seeing as how he had convinced himself that he would get home. In hindsight, it was a stupid assumption. When he got back, he didn't just see the cottage, however. Fluttershy was tending to some of the animals and plants in her garden, no doubt having to work alone since Andre was gone. He was about to call to her, when he noticed something.
Everything was glowing. Everything. The sun was shining through the horizon, on it covered everything in a beautiful glow. Fluttershy turned and it was simply breathtaking. The suns glow surrounded her entire figure, making her appear more like an angel than a pegasus. The glow illuminated her mane, a soft pink glow emanating from it. Her coat amplified the suns yellow texture, creating a perfect outline.
Had she been a human, Andre might have fallen in love right then and there. He looked around, and noted that everything, from Angels cute, snow-white fur, to the flower and plants in the garden, was glowing beautifully. It was as though he was looking into the gates of Olympia, and witnessed the chef of the gods prepare her dish from the vegetables and garden of deification. He was transfixed on this beautiful sight, when it occurred to him: he worked and lived with her.
He, Andre, worked here, and got to be a part of this system, to be a part of this beautiful, almost perfect world. It was so much all at once, that Andre's eyes became watery. He was never a crier, and just having his eyes water was a sign that he was emotionally compromised in some way. He blinked his tears away before they could come out, and approached Fluttershy, keeping the quivering in his voice away.
"Hey, Fluttershy. Sorry about that, I got lost on my way back." She turned to him with a soft smile.
"Oh, it's alright. Just, next time, tell me if you have reservations about food. I mean, if that's OK with you." Oh my God, that's adorable.
"Yeah. Thanks, Fluttershy."
"You're welcome." She went back to her gardening, and Andre could now see past the trees to the great sunset in the mountain horizon. He was filled with the same content feeling as before, knowing that this was where he belonged.
I'm gonna love it here.
It was astounding. The sunset was beautiful, with it's myriad of warm colors refracting over the horizon of the mountains. It left Adam feeling warm and fuzzy, as much as he hated to admit it to himself. He thought back to all the people who hated him, and how, for years, he drew himself up using the hatred of others, trolling them into a frustrated oblivion.
To date, it had only brought him a single consistent friend; and from that friend, he gained three more. As far as he was concerned, they were his brothers, not his friends. And now, he was starting new, in a virtually perfect world of peace, where he could be accepted, where he would be accepted, in all of his weirdness. The sunset brought beautiful understanding to his mind: he knew that this was where he was meant to be. In despite of himself, he let a single teardrop fall from his chin and off of the bridge he sat on, down all four feet into the tiny creek below.
He sighed, happy for the first time in ages, and got off of the ledge, back onto the main part of the bridge. With a loud, metallic clank, he donned his now-detachable beard. He cracked another oblivious smile.
"Yeah, I know I'm gonna love it here."
A/N
So, uh, why'd it take you guys so long to come out with this chapter?
Oh, gee, I don't know, maybe it's that I have no time between my 40 hour a week job, classes, and helping my family with Thanksgiving, and Noah left most of the writing to me since he was working on the Lucidity trilogy or whatever.
Shhhhh. Do you hear that?
Uh...no.
Listen, quiet. It's the sound of BULLCRAP. Your job takes up no more than 25 hours a week, you dropped your ONE class, and you're WAY too lazy to help your family with the trash, let alone a Thanksgiving dinrar.
Well you have so much free time it's actually quite concerning. Why didn't you do it? I mean, you had time for Lucidity and Consequences.
Because you were SO INSISTENT on writing it yourself. Besides, people LOVE that series. Notice how the first one has NO thumbs down?
Oh please, that kind of fic ALWAYS gets more attention and positive reviews, as human in Equestria fics are so overdone.
Well you're a whore.
You're a slut.
Skank.
Wench.
DUMBLEDORE!
....what?
...what?
Tick. Tick. Tick. Tick. Tick.
What's that noise?
Tick. Tick.
I don't know, but is sure does have a catchy beat!
Tick. Tick. Tick.
Oh God. Oh God, no.
Tick.
Noah, what's going on?
IT'S A PIPE BOMB!
WHO ARE THESE PEOPLE!?
Tick.
Tyler, DUCK!
BLAM
Noah, what the fuck just happened?
We got upstaged by the Potter Puppet Pals.
Oh. Well then. I'm sorry I yelled at you.
Same.
Wanna go get a beer?
First off: we're both underage. Second: I'm Mormon.......
Oh yeah. Right.
*sigh*