Booky, I can’t help but get the feeling like I said I’d do something.
You ever have that feeling? I do, I’m having it right now in fact.
However, I won’t tell you that, it’s personal information. You have no claim to the knowledge in my brain. It’s my brain, NOT YOURS!
Anystew, I do have some exciting news! Care to guess?
NO! YOU DON’T GET TO GUESS!
Let me put it for you the way the newspaper put it, “BREAKING NEWS! EQUESTRIA’S TOP CELLIST REVEALS THAT SHE IS HOMOSEXUAL!”
You see that?
Do you see that?
Booky, do you see it?
Right there, above all of these questions; the thing about the homosexual. Do you see it?
What do you think it means?
Do you think it means that homosexuality isn’t as wrong as I know it is?
Do you think it means cellists get more action than the rest of us?
Do you think it means that potatoes have made their move?
Do you think it means my heart just got broken?
Do you think my soul was shattered so very painfully that I’m having trouble blinking?
Do you think it means my trust in mares has eroded into an oozing mass of overturned dreams and hopes?
Do you think it means the knife in my back just got pushed through to pierce my heart?
I like that one, let’s go with it.
Have you ever been betrayed, Booky?
I don’t think you have. Although, I’ve been wrong before. Which I'm not. I'm right this time.
Don’t look at me like that; you know you’re full of crap. There’s no possible way you could understand what I’m going through, so just shut up and wrinkle away already. The last thing I need is you nagging me.
What did I do to deserve all of my pain? I contribute to the community. I pay whatever bills I have to pay. I feed and house seemingly innocent semi-homeless ponies when I see them. Is it not enough that I suffer the smallest of life’s conflicts?
I trusted her; that is the undeniable truth. I mean yeah, I was using her to accomplish one of my many plans and I've only been attracted to her thanks to her sexy accent, but that doesn’t change the bond I dared to forge with that bitch. She knows stuff about me…stuff that I don’t even know if I know that I know it to tell it to her for her to know and me not to know and tell you about.
Fuck, she even kissed me! SHE KISSED ME!!! Worst yet? I KISSED BACK!!!
I was stupid. I dared to dream that I could escape that thing in the mirror, that thing that keeps telling me it’s me. It’s not, it just isn’t! I don’t do these things. I don’t. I don’t kiss mares. I don’t tell them my secrets. I don’t associate with their degenerate kind. It does. It’s the weak one. The one that gets left behind. The one left crying in the darkening world as it's Mom died. The one who came home to emptiness. The one who looked to the stars and thought it could see the path to happiness. The one who had the chance to reap severe vengeance on that grey retard. It’s the one. Not me. I’m not stupid. I’ve never been stupid. I’m the pinnacle of existing. It’s stupid. It’s always been stupid! I’M. NOT. IT.
You know what? Fuck it.
There it goes.
Say goodbye to it.
Booky! Pay attention, damn it!
SAY GOODBYE!
I’ve stopped giving the craps I could give.
What’s love anyway?
I’ll tell you what it is; it’s a wasted emotion that serves as the key for which those bitches can get in.
I’m done sulking.
I’m done sitting here with my eyes glued to the cider barrels that have become perilously empty. That party thing is nightday. I’ll go to it. I’ll go right after I sell all this crap. It should bring in a good amount of bits. Enough to crush that retard. Enough to be done with this misaligned nuisance. The pink one is next. Then I’ll be done. I’ll be done with it all. I can go right back to being…happy alive here. I'll go right back to being here.
Even if it kills me.