The girls (and the guy, who wasn't actually hideous so much as didn't fit the costume well) all turned out to be pretty nice people. They were gushing over me, yeah, but whenever they started to get a little too touchy-feely I just had to flick my ears back and they'd restrain themselves. Heck, they even paid the McDonald's guy for my salad. My brother was initially suspicious but after a chat with Linda (the Derpy lady), he seemed to calm down a bit. Maybe it was the fact that Linda had a lovely voice, or their shared knowledge of Kingdom hearts lore, or maybe it was how easy on the eyes she was.
"So, we're headed up to Kansas City. The Shy one is up there."
"Oh my gosh can we take pictures with her?" Ginny was practically bouncing on her feet with a wide grin. "Can we can we can we please?"
I shrugged. "Sure, why not." Seriously, the woman was like the exact opposite of Fluttershy, she could talk your ear off about anything and brimmed with cheerful confidence. Why exactly she decided to dress up as the yellow pegasus I'll never know; I mean, they kinda sounded alike, I guess. "She has a facebook account, if you want to see it."
"That would be quite amazing," Jacqueline replied with a grin. Unlike Ginny, she perfectly fit Rarity's character; in fact, the girls all attributed their stunning costumes to her expert craftsmanship. "I hope the dear isn't in too much trouble."
"Well, she was in a car accident but she didn't get hurt. Let me find the link..." I pulled out my iPad and began to open a browser, only for the thing to go dead. "Oh. Well, flark, this thing needs to be charged. Hold on."
"Let me do it," my brother sighed, holding out his hand.
I glared at him. "What?" I'm very protective of my electronics, ever since my iPhone literally got nabbed right out of my hands.
"Do you really think you can plug something in in your condition?"
My ears flicked back briefly. "....fiiiiiiiiine." Grumbling, I handed him my electronics and watched as he headed for a wall socket. To his credit, he sat next to the iPad while it was charging.
Harold--the Pinkie cosplayer--cleared his throat. "Can you tell us the facebook address anyway?"
"I can't remember it off the top of my head but I think her username is Erica Fluttershy." Instantly four phones were whipped out. "Eager, aren't we?"
"Hell yeah! Fluttershy is best pony!"
Linda snorted. "Gonna have to disagree with you on that one Ginny. Derpy reigns supreme."
"I've never been one to descend to arguments about such things," Jacqueline commented, "but Rarity demonstrates a degree of refinement and elegance that I find quite appealing."
I rolled my eyes and turned to Harold. "Let me guess, Pinkie is best pony?"
"No, Doctor Whooves."
That response could only be replied to with a wild take. "Wahahahah?! Doctor Whooves? Really?"
"Yeah. Problem is, if I dressed up as him everyone would think I was dressing up as the Doctor. So I took the next best thing."
"I'm flattered," I deadpanned.
"Darling, it is incredibly rude to tell somepony they are number two." Jacqueline sipped her coffee in a distinctly ladylike manner. "I still say you would make a good Big Macintosh."
"Have to agree with that," I confirmed. "You're big, you're a redhead, and... hey do you work out?"
"Ti kwon do."
"Ha! So you can buck apples!" My resulting giggles sounded like they came right off the show. "You should totally try to be Big Mac someday it would be completely awesome and hey maybe you'll actually become Big Mac because of all the ponyfications going around and actually get to buck some apples and I just realized that if you're like Big Mac and you're dressed like me OH MY GOSH Big Mac cosplaying as Pinkie Pie that would be hilarious and--"
My eyes shot wide.
"...I'm rambling, aren't I?"
"Yes, and it's fu--freaking adorable!" Ginny gave out a little fangirl squee.
"...Excuse me, I need to use the little filly's room."
I left the table in silence, walking to the back of the restaurant and opening the appropriate door. It was a little odd, stepping into a room that society had long dictated I should be banned from, but that feeling was covered more by my dazed shock at what had just happened. I lifted myself up against the sink, peering into the mirror at my pink fuzzy face.
"...What am I now?"
We stared at each other, pony and reflection, for quite some time.
Eventually there was a knock at the door. "Hey Reid?" It was Linda's voice. "That's your name right? You okay in there?"
"...Uh, yeah! Just... I was a guy before, kinda awkward, that's all!" I shook my head and flushed the empty toilet. The cosplayers were just being fans, and worrying them with my own neuroses would have been wrong. "Let me just wash my ha--my hooves and I'll be right out!" I slipped off the rubber pencil holders, placing them on the side of the sink, pumped some soap into my forehooves--hey, it WAS a public restaurant even if I didn't actually use the facilities-- and pushed the sink handle into the cold water position. Should these count as finger accomplishments...? Nah, I could have done them with my fist.
"Oh. Well, you know, we're all here for you if you need anything." Linda coughed. "Even, you know, personal problems."
"Oh, skreep, no! I don't think ponies even get periods!" I shuddered. "You know what, I don't want to even think about that."
She snorted. "Well, if you ever decide to shake off your manly cowardice or start bleeding between your legs, let me know." Her footsteps clicked away.
I glanced at the mirror. "Yeah, Reid, count your blessings. At least it's fall..."
Soon enough I exited, finger pencils once again in place, and rejoined the cosplayers at their table. They and my brother were busily discussing World of Warcraft things.
"Look, Holy Light is great but if you're going up against a monster twenty levels above you you need a constant heal, not a one-shot spell." My brother shrugged. "Mathematically, it's better in the long run."
"But Paladin's Blessing only works when you're in aura range," Jacqueline countered. "Which means you have to get close to the boss in order to heal, which is suicidal if you're not a tank."
"But Tanks are the one that need heals the most. I don't see the problem."
"What about melee DPSers?" I interjected, sliding back into my chair.
"As long as the tanks keep aggro on them the DPSers are pretty much in the clear." My brother gave me a glance. "You don't even play WoW."
"Doesn't mean I'm not versed in WoW theory. You know, learning for my own video games."
Harold gave me a surprised look. "You make video games?"
"Well, design... I don't actually have anything published. Mostly ideas I'm working on." I waved a hoof dismissive hoof. "I'm a big fan of Extra Credits, though, they give out great advice."
"I've never heard of Extra Credits."
"Online semi-animated lectures on video game design. Range from three to ten minutes per episode."
"Sounds neat."
Jacqueline leaned back into her chair. "Anyway... my point is, sometimes it's better to retreat and heal then try to keep chipping away."
"What if the boss has regeneration?"
She gave my brother a flat look. "All the bosses have regeneration, Ian, that's why the buffers cast Status Effects!"
Oh, I forgot to mention. Ian is my brother's name.