//------------------------------//
// Meet the Soldier 
// Story: Meet the Team: Pony Fortress 2 
// by The Usurper 
//------------------------------//

	A furious battle raged across the lands of Dustbowl. Rockets and grenades blew huge holes in the ground, several buildings, and anypony unlucky enough to be in the blast zone of said explosives. Bullets flew left and right, occasionally missing but striking their targets most of the time. Sentry guns fired missiles at opponents, flamethrowers airblasted projectiles away, and control points were captured and defended. The fight was truly deadly for all involved, and even for those who weren't involved but just happened to be in the area.

"Ugh, of course the Administrator has to tell me that we're interviewing RED and BLU alternatingly after I take the trouble to go through the battlefield to RED's base." Diana grumbled as she trudged through the dirt, narrowly avoiding the deadly objects that came her way. "I don't even know why I have talk to both teams. It's not like they will be any different." She suddenly perked up. "Hey, wait a minute. They just might be different! Maybe this interview will be better than the one with that pegasus!" Her mood quickly soured again. "And while I'm at it, I might as well hope that I can grow wings and a horn too." She sighed.

"Hey, good luck with your next interview, partner!" Diana looked upwards, towards the source of the voice, and she caught sight of Applejack standing on a nearby ledge, hammering her sentry gun with her wrench as the machine unleashed its bullets and missiles at the oncoming BLU team.

"Thank you, miss Applejack." Diana smiled weakly. "Good luck with your battle, too."

"Thank ya kindly." The orange earth pony moved her head to the side just as a rocket flew past. Diana took a few more steps towards her destination before her mind registered what she had just seen.

"Wait... a rocket?!" She immediately turned back in the direction of the oncoming BLU wave and sure enough, nestled among the pegasi and earth ponies in the horde, was a small purple dragon with grenades strapped across his chest, firing at the sentry gun on the ledge.

"Uh..." Diana desperately tried to recall the dragon's name. "...Spike! That's right. SPIKE!"

Having heard his name being called, the baby dragon turned away from the sentry and towards the interviewer. "Yes?"

"Do you mind if you come over here for your interview? We need to finish it by today!"

"Oh, that's right!" Spike slapped his face. "The interview! I completely forgot about it! Hold on!" With that, Spike moved away from the tight conglomeration of BLU team members and towards Diana.

Before the terribly disastrous problem that the interview was likely to be came to pass, however, she spotted a more immediate problem. The sentry that had originally been shooting at the amassed force that was BLU team now swivelled on its mount as it prepared to fire at the Soldier.

"Applejack!" Diana shouted desperately.

"On it!" The engineer reached into her toolbox and retrieved her wrangler. When she had the laser pointer locked on at an enemy Heavy, the sentry was surrounded by a glowing red shield. She took control of it and commanded it to fire twice as fast as it originally had. The bullets ripped through the BLU formation but, thankfully, not Spike.

"Thanks!" Diana said loudly, to which Applejack responded with a "You're welcome" before turning back to the wrangler.

Meanwhile, the dragon, resisting the urge to jump back into the heat of battle, made his way over to Diana. "Can we make this quick?" He asked as he approached her. "I'm still fighting a war here."

"I'm so sorry I had to do this." Diana shook her head. "I honestly have no idea why the Administrator thought that it was a good idea to schedule these interviews during a battle."

"Wait, the Administrator?" Spike pointed a finger at a nearby loudspeaker. "You mean the guy who's always screaming at us while we fight?"

"Yes, that's him." Diana confirmed. As if on cue, a booming "ATTENTION! FIVE MINUTES LEFT IN THE MISSION!" echoed across the battlefield.

"He sent you here to interview me?" Spike seemed to be taken aback.

"He did, and Princess Luna approved it."

Spike cocked his head. "Is there any particular reason why he wants to interview a bunch of dangerous mercenaries?"

"It's for the other ponies who inhabit the areas in which you fight." Diana explained. "They need to know that you all aren't just armed psychopaths who blow up all their landmarks on a daily basis."






A few days earlier


"I see this as a perfect opportunity to spy on the armed psychopaths who are being paid to blow each other up on a daily basis." A figure seated on a large, comfortable armchair spoke as he watched the myriad of computer screens in front of him. "I need to make sure that I haven't tricked Celestia and Luna into paying them for nothing."

Diana fidgeted. "Are you sure about this, Administrator? I mean, I don't think that it's really necessary to-"

"Don't worry, miss Diana. I have a new plan, and I intend to see it all the way through." He picked up a nearby mug with his hands and sipped whatever was inside. "Dark times are approaching quickly, and I sense that not all is as it seems. Somebody is going to return and disrupt my original plan. So I must finish it before that somebody comes along."

"Check the situation for me, miss Diana." The Administrator never took his eyes off the computer screens, but the earth pony somehow got the impression that he was looking straight into her soul. "I want to know everything about them so I can manipulate them further when the time comes. What I need now is an opportunity, but I don't see any coming along anytime soon."

"So I'll just have to make my own."





"Ah, that's why." Spike nodded, unaware that Diana had entered a state of flashback. "In that case, I'd better take this seriously. I don't want a riot coming after me."

Diana was abruptly snapped out of her flashback by the sound of Spike's voice. "Wha- I mean, yes. Of course."

"You know, I just remembered that I was going to drill the new recruits after this." Spike pondered aloud. "I suppose that's kind of more important than the battle, since we need new people to replace the dead ones."

"I think I just might be able to incorporate that into this interview." Diana said thoughtfully. "A little bit of interaction with other living things would, at the very least, show the ponies around here that you are no worse than their average drill sergeant. They will see the side of you that isn't blowing up their hometown."

"That means I can kill two birds with one stone!" Spike exclaimed. "Then I can get back to fighting on the front lines again! Let's go!"

"So, where are your recruits?" Diana asked.

"Oh, over at our base." Spike glanced at the towering blue building through the smoke that now clouded the area. "Hard to see through the bullets, smoke trails and explosions, though."

Diana facehoofed.






A few minutes later


"Alright, we're finally through." Diana panted, glancing back at the hazardous terrain they had just traversed. "Are you okay, Spike?"

"Sure, I'm fine." Spike looked at himself. "Just a few dents in my dragon scales here and there." He winced as he touched a spot that was leaking blood. "Maybe a few small wounds." He stared at Diana. "How come you're weren't hit at all?"

Diana brushed a bit of dirt off her coat. "Experience." She gestured towards the gaping maw of darkness that was the entrance to BLU base. "Now, we should get going so we can finish this interview faster."

"Yeah... yeah, we should." Spike stepped into the darkened base. "Follow me, it's kinda dark in here. Yesterday, someone sabotaged the gates of every single BLU base in this area. We managed to get it working, but we had to redirect the electricity from the lights. Or so the engineer tells me."

"Right." Diana looked around innocently.

"Anyway, the lighting is a non-critical system, so we'll do without it. For now." Spike marched through the dark corridors, Diana following him cautiously. "Hopefully it'll be back in a few days, otherwise someone will eventually be injured walking into a wall or something."

"That would be unfortunate."

"Good thing I've got perfect vision in the dark." Spike turned to Diana. "You see, dragons are capable of-"

Spike immediately stopped talking when he walked into a wall, resulting in a loud THUNK that echoed around the abandoned corridors.

Diana rushed to his side. "Are you alright?"

Spike grunted. "Heh, it's going to take more than a wall to keep me down after walking through that battlefield." He scrambled to his feet. "Anyway, we're almost there. Thankfully this base has a backyard of sorts, otherwise I'd be drilling these recruits in the dark."

"This base has a backyard?"

"Yes, it does." Spike squinted his eyes as a light appeared at the end of the corridor. "They had better be there, otherwise heads are going to fly again."

Diana seemed surprised. "What do you mean, 'They had better be there'?"

"This batch is the most uncooperative of all of them I've ever had to train." Spike told her. "When I tell them to speak up, they don't. They never seem enthusiastic. They just sit there, snug under their little helmets, and ignore me." He sighed. "They just need to get it in their heads that this is a war."

"Do you ever discipline them?" Diana asked.

"I shout at them, sometimes, but I never hit them. They're like my children, you know? No matter how disobedient they may be..."

"...you care for them all the same." Diana finished. "Now this is the side of you I want to see for this interview. The more personal side. I think the parents in this place just might see you with different eyes after they see this."

Spike chuckled. "Thanks. I was wondering whether I was doing this right with those recruits, but now I'm quite sure that I am."

"You may sometimes need to hit them, though." Diana advised. "Punishment is necessary sometimes, but you must always make sure that they know you only want the best for them."

"I'll keep that it mind." Spike smiled. "Now let's go and finish this interview."

Dragon and pony stepped into the brightness of the backyard.

"Recruits!" Spike roared. "We've got a special guest today, so don't embarrass me in front of her, okay?"

No response.

The dragon sighed. "Never mind."

Diana moved a little closer to Spike. "Uh, you do know that those are-"

"Hold on." Spike whispered in response. "Let me just finish this first." He began to holler again. "Today, I've got a speech and a movie for you. Now, I don't want to hear any of you make any kind of sound at all. Is that clear?"

Again, no response.

"That's the way, boys." Spike walked backwards to the projector that hung on the wall next to the door they had just came from. Retrieving a remote controller, he turned back to the recruits. "Now, let me give you a quote. 'If fighting is sure to result in victory, then you must fight!'" He leaned closer as his eyes surveyed the area, meeting each and every one of the recruits' eyes. "Does anybody know who said that?"

Once again, no reply was forthcoming.

Spike sighed, bringing his palm to his face. "Sun Tzu. Sun Tzu said that. And I think he knows a little bit more about fighting than you do, pal, because he invented it!" He tapped one of the recruits' helmets. "And then he perfected it, so that no living thing could best him in the ring of honour!" He pressed a button on the remote.

Instantly, the projector flared to life, displaying the baby dragon brandishing a shovel and bellowing war cries. "Now," Spike said, pointing to the projector, "this is an example of a fight that is sure to result in victory. Watch. It may not look like it," he paused the movie at a scene where he blasted an enemy zebra hefting a grenade launcher with a rocket, only for a Scout to take her place, "but it is. And do you know why?"

Spike stayed silent as he unpaused the video. Instantly, another rocket erupted from his launcher, hitting the pegasus and creating a shower of blood. He rushed forward to the control point, but not before a Medic appeared behind him and ambushed him with a shower of syringes. Thankfully, Spike's tough scales absorbed most of the damage as he turned around and blew the yellow pegasus out of existence with his shotgun.

He then raced forward, firing rockets at a sentry firing bullets at a nearby Sniper. The machine sustained enough damage from his rockets that it was destroyed by the blast when he fired a rocket into the ground below him. The explosion under his feet propelled him through the sky and onto a nearby pipe, from which he could see the final control point. A RED Heavy guarded it, his minigun spinning.

"It's a sure victory because of the type of person you are. When you are strong and brave, you will never be defeated." One rocket from Spike's launcher gibbed the Heavy. The dragon leapt onto the control point. Suddenly, a decloaking sound echoed across the area, and a Spy appeared behind him, knife raised. Spike quickly spun around with his shovel and struck the unicorn in the face, sending her crashing to the ground. The video finally stopped as Spike pressed a button.

"That's the kind of person I want you to be, boys. Brave and strong. Don't disappoint me." Spike looked around, gazing at each of the recruits proudly. "To finish the story of Sun Tzu, just so you know what happened in the end, he used his fight money to buy two of every animal in Equestria." The dragon removed the grenades from his chest strap, and began to move them around the represent the animals. "After that, he herded them onto a boat, and then he beat the crap out of every single one!"

He chuckled. "And from then on, whenever a bunch of animals are together, it's called a zoo!"

Diana couldn't hold it in any more. "Spike, those aren't recruits. They're just decapitated heads."

The dragon didn't seem in the least bit surprised. "Duh. Did you not notice until now?"

"How are they going to help in the battlefield if they're all dead?"

"Military rations, obviously." Spike said.

Diana's face paled slightly. "R-Rations?"

"Yeah. What else are they good for?"

Diana composed herself as best she could. "Well, I think I'm done here. This was an... interesting interview. I wish you luck in the war."

"Thanks. Bye." Spike watched as the earth pony mare stumbled away, muttering "Oh Celestia, please let the next one be more sane" under her breath.

Spike turned to one of the heads. "She does know that I was joking about the rations part, right?"

The bodyless head said nothing.

Spike shrugged. "I'll take that as a yes."