Act III
A blush fell over Mac's face to match the redness of the setting sun. What happened between the two of them in that shallow, warm spring would forever haunt his memories. In the heat of the moment, Mac wouldn't have considered another option. The strange thing was... that Mac had never considered what something so meaningful would be like with another stallion. In fact, the idea disgusted him somewhat.
After all, he was a stallion, and he knew how generally gross stallions could be on any given day. Shining was different, however. He couldn't say how, but he just... was. When he looked at him, something in his stomach flipped. The smell of his mane, the feel of his muscles beneath his coat, and the glances he would catch Shining stealing when he thought he wasn't looking. He'd never been so bold as to actually call him out. Heck, they barely spoke of it afterwards, but in the time they were lost in the forest, they had only each other to rely on, to look after, and to protect.
Mac and Shining stood at opposite ends of the rather small spring. The two stallions managed to hobble at each other, meeting in the middle for an impromptu wrestling match. Mac was no match for Shining, even without magic. With an injured hoof, he wasn't much use to anypony, let alone in a contest between a pony with four working limbs. As they jostled against each other, Mac began to gain the upper hoof, only to have Shining reclaim his dominant position. Even though they were quite rough with each other, Mac's injury was never exploited or even bumped into while they had their mock fight.
Eventually, Mac found himself pinned beneath Shining, his forelegs firmly holding Mac's to the ground. "Give up yet?" he asked.
"Hardly!" Mac replied, trying in vain to throw Shining off.
"Face it, Mac," Shining said smugly. "I've got you beat."
"Ah don't think so!" he grunted, lifting both forelegs up and slowly reclaiming the ground he'd lost. Shining acted quickly, using his magic on reflex to hold down his opponent. Mac was heartily pushed back into the water.
"Hey!" he shouted in protest. "You cheated!" As soon as Mac stopped fighting, Shining laid his weight on top of him.
"So, ready to admit I'm the better stallion?" Shining asked, his smiling visage inches from Mac's.
"Never," Mac growled playfully, still struggling beneath his adversary to no avail.
"Well, I'm not letting you up until I hear it," Shining insisted.
"Then Ah suppose we'll be here a while."
He simply grinned. "Fine by me. Wake me when you're ready to admit defeat."
Mac was as stubborn as anypony in his family, and wasn't about to give up anytime soon. They ended up falling asleep on the edge of the spring. Shining fell asleep first, but for whatever reason, Mac resisted pushing the sleeping stallion off of him. In fact, he appreciated his body heat in the cold night air. It was like having a living, muscular blanket covering his every inch.
Soon, he too was asleep, only his slumber would not be very restful. He dreamt of Shining. More importantly, himself and Shining. The details weren't important, but Mac was certain he'd never entertained the thought of doing what he did with Shining in his dream.
Mac could live with a dream. After all, nopony but him would know what he did inside his own head. Unfortunately, some aspects of the dream carried over into the real world. As he began to awaken from his sleepy haze, he realized something was pressing against his lips. Instead of fighting it, he allowed it to continue. Later, he would blame it on sleeplessness, or being disoriented after waking up, but at the time, he had to have known what was going on, and did nothing to stop it.
It felt like he spent years beneath Shining as their lips moved sloppily against one another, but he didn't care. He felt his heart exploding with joy as his faculties slowly came back to him. He was getting his first kiss! He'd have never guessed it would have come from another stallion, but that didn't make it any less special. A more troubling thought began to enter his mind as he cracked his eyelids to make sure he wasn't still having a very vivid dream. Sure enough, Shining was just as into it as he seemed to be.
Mac moved his good hoof a bit, seeming to shock Shining out of his blissful state. As soon as the movement of his lips stopped, he felt him pull away.
Mac opened his eyes. He'd have sworn he was looking in a mirror for the redness on Shining's face. Both were at a loss for words. After all, what do you say when you discover your best friend up until now not only wanted to be physically intimate with you, but also doesn't mind the stigma attached to being known as a 'tail-raiser?' Though it was tolerated in the Royal Guard, it was usually a good idea to keep your orientation to yourself, or at the very least keep it off of military installations.
The time they spent looking at each other in embarrassed silence felt like eons. Neither could accuse the other of taking advantage, as they'd both had chances to stop, yet they didn't. It was a bit surreal, the moon providing the perfect backdrop for their clandestine romance. Finally, Shining decided to break the silence.
"Well..." he began, his voice crackling nervously for the first time in Mac's presence. "We can either stop now, and pretend this didn't happen, or—"
Mac had made up his mind. His forelegs wrapped tightly around Shining's neck and pulled him in close, ignoring the pain in his hoof as he brought the lips he'd missed back against his own.
That was one of Mac's favorite memories, but also one of the most painful. He sighed as the sun was now barely visible over the horizon. That night was one of the happiest nights of his life. Once they'd gotten back to the cave, they began expressing their feelings for each other, using nothing but magic and themselves. They stayed at it for hours, until neither had the strength to do anything but sleep in each others embrace, safe in the knowledge that they'd found something special together.
Unfortunately, it was never meant to last.
They were picked up by a rescue brigade a few days afterwards. Though they'd talked and laughed most of the time they'd been in the wilderness, each clammed up as soon as they were back in the presence of other stallions. The march back was a quiet one, and even the day after they'd returned, they didn't speak much.
After he left the infirmary, Mac was afraid he'd ruined the only friendship he'd ever made on his own by letting his emotions get in the way. The next few days of training were simply a blur. The usual talks they'd have about their subordinates or what goofy things they'd done that day were absent. Mac rarely got so much as a 'G'night' from him as he climbed into his bunk. In record time, he'd gone from the happiest he'd ever been, to being more alone than the Mare in the Moon.
Mac tried to push Shining out of his thoughts. It proved somewhat difficult when he had to see the stallion he thought he knew so well every day. On the brighter side of things, his parents were due in to see their son after being informed of his 'missing' status.
Until one fateful evening.
Mac got called into Sargent Castille's office. Ordinarily, this meant he was either going to be punished or commended, and Mac was sure he hadn't done anything praise or damnation worthy.
"Sit down, son," Castille said, sitting behind his desk as he allowed Mac to sit. "I've got some bad news for you."
Mac's ears perked up. What kind of bad news could he have? Were they going to war? Was he being kicked out?
"Yes, Sergeant?"
Castille let out a long, heavy sigh as he rubbed his eyes with a hoof. "Cadet Apple, I hate to be the one to have to tell you this," he began. "Are your parents named," he checked the paper on his desk "Gala and Red?"
Mac swallowed hard, though the truth of the matter was the furthest thing from his mind. "Yes, Sergeant."
"Son... there was a train crash between Canterlot and Ponyville yesterday," he said sadly. "Your parents were on board that train."
For a moment, Mac went deaf. A train crash? Was his sister with them? Was Granny Smith there too? What about his newborn sister, Apple Bloom?
"Are they in the hospital? Which one? Ah've got ta—" Mac asked rapid-fire, though he was settled by his instructor.
"They didn't make it, son. I'm sorry."
Mac couldn't believe what he was hearing. In an instant, his world was shattered. Both his parents were taken from him in the blink of an eye. His family—the most important thing to an earth pony— was gone, leaving only himself, his siblings, and his ailing granny.
For a while, Mac sat in silence. Sergeant Castille was trained to deal with loss, and how to talk others through it, though Mac wasn't doing much talking. Silent tears began to drip from his eyes as he stared blankly at Castille's desk. Just the other week he'd gotten letters from home. His mother had even helped Applejack write him one in crayon, which he kept in his hooflocker with the others.
Eventually, Mac finally broke down, soft sobs echoing out of Sergeant Castille's office.
"Listen son, if you ever need to talk to anypony, my door is always open." Castille walked to Mac and attempted to comfort him. "If you need to take a day, I can have your platoon join up with another one for the day's events."
Mac simply nodded, unable to say or do anything but breathe. In the time he'd been in his instructor's office, the rest of the barracks had left for the days exercises, leaving his hoof steps to echo through the empty room. He made his way to his corner bunk before softly sitting on his bed, still trying to grasp what was just revealed to him. The rest of the day seemed like a sorrowful blur. A mix of sleeping and silently crying into his pillow for fear somepony might see him.
Mac had lost track of time by the time stallions began to file in from another hard day of training. Mac was more than a little apprehensive about Shining's arrival. Would he care that Mac was absent? Would he care that he'd been in bed all day (with permission)?
Mac would soon have his answer as a soft, familiar voice woke him from his daze.
"Hey, buddy," Shining nearly whispered, taking a seat on the edge of his bed.
Those two words were the most he'd gotten out of him since they'd been back. He very nearly wanted to shout at him to go rut himself. After all, it only took a terrible tragedy to get him to talk to him again. Fortunately, Mac wasn't in the mood to do much yelling. The tears had stopped a few hours earlier as Mac rolled away from his pillow and faced Shining. Even in his darkest hour, the sight of him alone put a spark of hope in his heart.
"I... I took your platoon today," he began awkwardly.
"Ah figured," Mac replied.
"They're pretty good." Shining smiled, trying and failing alleviate the awkwardness of their conversation.
"Ah know," Mac said quickly. Through all the time he'd been given to think about his commitment, he'd come to a fork in his path. He could either follow through with the Royal Guards, leaving his grandmother to take care of his sisters and send them money and visit when he could. Or he could drop out of basic, go back to the farm, and take care of his family. The decision hinged on Shining. "Listen, Ah think Ah'm gonna quit," he said bluntly, refusing eye contact with the blue eyes he'd felt so strongly for in the forest.
"Quit? Like, for good?" he stammered.
"Yeah. Ah S'pose you heard what happened?"
"No, I just thought you were sick or something," Shining replied.
"My parents died."
His nonchalant admission stunned Shining. "So... wait, seriously? I'm... I'm so sorry, Mac—"
"It ain't your fault," he said coldly. Mac was never one for pity-parties, and he certainly wasn't about to start now.
A moment of intense silence followed before Shining decided to say something. "I'm sorry about your parents Mac, really."
"Ah know," he mumbled, "but somepony's gotta take care of what's left of my family,"
Shining put a hoof onto Mac's as they met eyes for the first time in what felt like weeks. "Are you sure you want to leave?"
Mac's decision to stay hinged on Shining's response to his next sentence.
"Ah am, unless you give me a reason to stay. Can you?"
Shining knew what he meant, and knew the answer before he'd even finished the question. He broke eye contact, giving Mac all the reply he needed.
"I... I can't do that, Mac."
Mac left basic the next day, without so much as a 'see ya' to Shining, the stallion that he'd shared so much with—the first real friend he'd made on his own. The rest, as they say, is history. He knew why Shining couldn't give him the reason he wanted. It was an unwritten rule that any stallion looking to break into the top brass needed a wife and to more or less establish himself as a 'family stallion'. It was a stupid, outdated rule, but it was not his to change. Shining was thinking of his future, in the same way Mac was thinking about his own.
Mac was about to stand up and head into the farmhouse. The nights were getting colder, and soon it'd be quite frigid out.
He cast a quick glance to the castle in the distance, a few fireworks silently illuminating the sky from afar. He bet Shining had a nice ceremony, especially considering his status. A small part of Mac wished he'd gone. In the many arguments with himself about making an appearance, he knew the only thing he'd be able to do there was remind himself what he left behind on the road he could have traveled. Not to mention the shame of dropping out of basic and possibly seeing some of his old squad-mates at the wedding.
A flash of blue light lit behind him, as though a firework had traveled all the way from Canterlot just to explode and scare the daylights out of him.
"I missed you at the wedding."
Mac recognized that voice. He turned his head to see a familiar stallion in red formal attire, mane draped neatly over his horn but stopping just short of being in his eyes.
"Ah didn't belong there," Mac insisted.
"If you didn't belong there, I wouldn't have sent you an invitation." Shining took a seat next to him on the hilltop as night settled in. "So this is what you were protecting, huh?"
"Eeyup."
He was happy to see Shining, but careful to maintain his stoic demeanor.
Shining sighed. He wasn't really sure why he'd teleported out here in the first place, or how he'd even managed the exact hilltop Mac was occupying! The sheer odds were enormous! But he was happy he'd managed to sneak away from the reception a bit early while his wife was still greeting the attendees. Cadence being the princess of love could tell when something was wrong with her husband.
"Listen, Mac, I came out here because when you left, I felt so bad the way we left things—"
"It ain't your fault," Mac muttered. "You were just thinkin' about your future in the guards. Ah just wasn't in it."
"It's not that," Shining assured him. "It's how stupid I was after we were rescued. I could tell you wanted to talk about what we'd done, but I was too afraid of what the others might think if they found out, or what actually admitting to myself that my feelings for you weren't going to go away would mean for me." He paused, glancing over at Mac only to find him still gazing at the illuminated castle in the distance. "I was just so confident I knew who I was, and then... you came along." He nudged his shoulder, getting a small smile out of Mac.
"Yeah, well, it doesn't matter," Mac grumbled. "You've got her now."
"C'mon, she's not so bad once you get to know her," Shining teased. "You know, at first I wasn't sure what I was going to do when I saw you again, if I ever did. But since our sisters turned out to be Elements of Harmony, I guess you can't avoid me."
"Ah guess you're right there," Mac sighed.
Shining stood up, reaching his hoof into his jacket. "Anyway, I want you to have this," he said, removing his tags with a quick yank and dropping them beside Mac. He glanced at them, noticing the date.
"These... are from basic?"
"That's right. I graduated head of my class, but I couldn't have done it without you."
"Shining... Ah can't accept these. Ah didn't earn 'em."
"Yes you did, Mac. You made the decision to give up your dreams to take care of your family. Anypony can follow a dream, it takes a real stallion to give theirs up for the sake of somepony they love."
Mac began to blink rapidly, turning away from him. "Celestia damnit, Shining," he whispered.
"Hey now, no waterworks!" Shining laughed, draping a foreleg around him as he got ahold of himself.
He sat briefly next to Mac as he gave him a hug. During the embrace, he whispered to him:
"I know Cadence is my wife, and I love her with everything I've got." He paused. "But she isn't you. And she never will be."
Mac smiled as he looked to Shining. They sat there, holding each other until they began to shiver from the cold.
"Well, I've got to get back to the reception, I'm sure Cadence is wondering where I am." Shining stood up, as did Mac.
"Yeah, ya better be gettin' back. Keep an eye on my sisters, will ya?"
Shining charged his spell. "Don't worry, they're in good hooves." With a blue flash, he was gone, leaving Mac alone on the hillside with nothing but an old set of dog-tags. He took them in his mouth and began his trek back to the farmhouse. Shining's scent was still heavy on the tags, and he was certain he hadn't seen the last of him.
As he entered the house, he found Granny Smith asleep in her favorite rocker. Apart from that, the usually-noisy Apple house was empty. He slowly creaked his way up the stairs and into his bedroom. His injury would need to be re-wrapped tomorrow, but those were concerns for later. He closed his door and took a seat on his bed, removing from beneath it a small box with the seal of the Royal Guards on the top. He flipped it open, and carefully placed Shining's tags next to the letters his family had sent him while he was at basic.
The top letter was a crayon drawing from Applejack. The crudely drawn ponies on the page were busy happily bucking apples, as the crayon scrawling would suggest. Mac smiled as he flipped it over, Applejack's writing covering the other side.
Dear Big Macintosh,
I miss you and love you and want you to come home so we can play! Paw and Ma both miss you very much and me too! I hope you are having fun at army camp! I drew hearts on the other paper to show how much I love you!
xoxo Applejack
On the paper beneath, there was an full piece of letter paper colored with nothing but oddly shaped hearts with a little note from his mother at the bottom.
We are proud of you, son. Hang in there, and you'll be a Royal Guard in no time!
Love, Ma and Pa
Mac inhaled sharply as he read the note from his mother. The paper was crinkled in places, signs of tears that had long since dried.
A few hours passed before he heard a knock at his door and quickly closed the box, stashing it under his bed as Applejack nudged her way in.
"You missed a heck'uva reception, Mac," she said happily. She looked great in her apple themed dress. He was sure she and Apple Bloom had a good time.
"Yeah, well, ya been ta one reception, ya been to 'em all." He shrugged as Applejack drew nearer.
"Trust me, you ain't been ta one like this," she assured him. "Had the box out again, did ya?"
Mac smiled. His sister knew him well. "Eeyup. Ah was lookin' at some of the letters you sent me when you were little."
Applejack blushed in embarrassment. "Ah didn't know you still had those..."
"Eeyup."
"Well, what'd you do all day?" she asked, taking a seat on his bed beside him.
Mac sighed, searching for the right answer. "Ah... saw an old friend from basic."
"Anypony Ah'd know?" she asked.
Mac glanced toward her. "Nah, Ah don't think so."
"Alright then, Ah'm gonna help Granny with supper, be down in a few," she said, heading out of his room.
Mac sat back against his bed, thinking about the afternoon's events. Perhaps the nagging he felt in the back of his mind about what his life could have been in the ranks of the Royal Guards would never go away. Perhaps his errant thoughts of Shining wouldn't either. However, he couldn't imagine any other life other than the one he lived. He was sincerely happy that while he had given up a shot at a life of glory and prestige in the palace, he had embraced a life surrounded by his loved ones.
"Mac! Supper's ready!" Applejack called from downstairs.
He smiled, rubbing his eyes with a hoof. Macintosh settled his hooves on the old wooden floor. He walked toward the door, ready to face a delicious country dinner, and a thousand years of peace.