Chapter Twelve
The Revelation
Nurse Redheart descended the stairs, close on Joy’s heels. Despite her genuinely warm smile, Miss Redheart’s eyes betrayed her… they were glistening as if she was fighting back tears. Seeing how hard Miss Redheart was fighting to hide it with a fake cough, I decided not to bring it up. Instead, I returned a warm smile of my own, trying to mask my own trepidation.
“Good evening, Miss Redheart. Will you be joining the two of us for dinner?”
Shock and confusion wrote themselves across her face as she tried to put together this seemingly erroneous statement into a form that made sense. In the meantime, I shot Joy a bewildered look. Hadn’t she told her that I’d invited her to dinner? Miss Redheart’s next sentence pretty much told me all I needed to know.
“Dinner? Is that what you wanted to talk to me about?”
“Yes ma’am, it is. Didn’t Joy tell you that we wanted to invite you to dinner?”
“No, she didn’t say anything of the sort. All she told me was that you wanted to speak with me for a moment.”
Dammit, Joy. I shot the cerulean mare an un-amused stare for a moment before I directed my attention back to Miss Redheart.
“Of course she didn’t. At any rate, would you be so kind as to join us for dinner this evening, Miss Redheart?”
The older mare looked around, absently rubbing one hood against another. I could see where Joy had picked that trait up from. “Well, it is a very sweet offer, but I wouldn’t want to intrude—“
Seeing that Miss Redheart was clearly on the fence, I decided to try and give her a nudge towards the right side. “Nonsense, how can you intrude if you’ve been invited? I’d like to spend some time with the you, get to know you a bit better, and also to thank you for your extraordinary hospitality.”
“Well, I suppose that I could… for a little while anyways… “
I shot her a triumphant smile. “Excellent! Well, shall we head out now, then?”
Miss Redheart seemed cautiously optimistic, the ghost of a smile finding its way to her lips. “I guess now’s as good a time as any… “
“Great. Off we go!” I said with a grin.
And so we left for Daisy’s, chatting idly as we strolled down the boulevard. Well, most of us were chatting, at any rate. Miss Redheart’s answers were curt and to the point when they weren’t deflected altogether. She didn’t seem like she was all there, as if something else was eating at her. I pushed the thought away for the meantime, hoping that it would either go away or that I’d have enough evidence to bring it up without looking foolish. We were seated at a corner booth in a secluded corner of the diner, well away from the other patrons. Why we were seated so remotely I could not say, but I had to admit that it was the perfect place to have a private conversation. The burning question in my mind was pushed off to the side as our waitress came and took our orders and then brought out our food.
As the evening wore on, Miss Redheart grew more and more comfortable with conversation, answering questions and even joking around with the rest of us, though she still seemed a bit distracted at times. Dessert came, and by the time the meal was over we were all in a good humor from the food in our bellies. The opportunity to ask my burning question made itself known, and I seized it as Miss Redheart left me an opening.
“I’m sorry, what was that last part? I’ve been having a little trouble concentrating this evening.”
I wiped the last of the chocolate from the corner of my mouth as I took the opening. “I’ve noticed that you seemed a bit preoccupied tonight. Is there something you’d like to talk about?”
She waved a hoof dismissively. “Well, there is something on my mind at the moment, but it’s really not a story for tonight. Wouldn’t want to ruin a good evening, now would we?”
Donning a good-natured smile, I did my best to coax it out of her. I'd been wondering about it all night, and I had to admit that the curiosity was getting the better of me. “I highly doubt that there’s anything that could ruin such a nice evening with two beautiful mares. And who knows, perhaps I can help? I’m a pretty good listener sometimes.”
At my “beautiful mares” comment, they both gave me the one-eyebrow-raised look of skepticism at the same time. Spooky. Well, you know what they say… “like mother, like daughter.” The two of them then turned to each other (again, at the same exact instant, like they’d rehearsed it or something) and shared a look. Their little mirroring act was interrupted by Miss Redheart when she turned towards me, smile faltering and ears dropping as she let out a deep sigh.
“Well, if you insist… today is the anniversary of the accident.”
A somber silence descended upon the table, draping itself around us like a shroud as it smothered all sound. Joy hung her head in silence, staring at a spot on the table. Miss Redheart was looking up and away, gazing at a spot in the ceiling and somewhere beyond. I got the feeling I’d just opened a can of worms, and I had no idea what was about to come out of it. A long silence passed before Miss Redheart spoke up again.
“Seventeen years ago today, I lost my husband to a tragic accident, and Joy lost her dad. Not a day goes by that I don’t miss him.”
I sat in stunned silence in the wake of this bombshell. Suddenly, the pictures in the hallway spoke a grim tale; echoing images from my memory. The way that, as Joy got younger… she got progressively more melancholy up until the final picture, the photo of the whole family. In this photo, they all looked so happy, so… wholesome. I couldn’t help but wonder how differently that photo would have been had they known the tragedy to come. Dreary musings aside, it was clear that tragedy was the farthest thing from their minds on the day of the photo, and there was a pure sort of joy written across each of their faces. The joy on their faces spoke of the anticipation of a life full of magic and of love, the thrill of facing each new day with those you love.
I must have zoned out for a moment, because Miss Redheart cleared her throat gently to get my attention.
“I’m sorry everypony. I didn’t mean to ruin the evening. I think it’d be best if I just left now. I’ll see you both at home.”
This last bit registered in my head and jarred me to take action and speak up.
“Oh, no Miss Redheart. You’ve ruined nothing, and I want to thank you for explaining that. I apologize if I made it seem like I wasn’t interested… my mind has a tendency to wander.”
At this last part, Joy snorted lightly and smiled ever so briefly, never once taking her eyes from the spot on the table, the smile fading from her lips just as quickly as it had come. I could only imagine the thoughts running through her head right now. She’d been so young when she’d lost her dad, but plenty old enough to feel the keen sting of his passing. I spoke up after a brief silence.
“Miss Redheart… if it’s not too much to ask, and not too painful… could you tell me a bit about him? He sounds like somepony I’d have liked to know.”
A small smile danced upon her lips. “Ah, yes… I think you two would have gotten along famously. There are just so many wonderful things to say about him, I don’t even know where to start…“
“Well, what was his name? How did the two of you meet?”
Miss Redheart’s gaze fell from the spot on the ceiling to a spot just off of my left shoulder, a faint smile crossing her features as she settled into a thousand-yard stare. She was staring not at the wall behind me nor anything else in the diner; she was staring into the past, back into happier times. Her voice was soft and low, brimming with emotion as she began her tale.
“His name was Sam Cross, and he was the greatest stallion I’ve ever met. Many years ago, when I was just a filly without a cutie mark, I’d gone for a walk on the trails around town one afternoon. The time of year was just the same as it is now, and it was magical to stroll about and see the wildflowers in bloom. I was walking along a trail near the Everfree Forest when a small timber wolf came rattling out of a bush just in front of me. I’d never seen one other than in a book, but there was no mistaking it for anything else. The poor thing was hurt and looked sickly; meaning that it probably couldn’t hunt and was desperate for a meal. I started backing away slowly, never taking my eyes off of the beast. As I was backing up, the wolf started to advance on me.
“At this point, I panicked. I turned tail and ran for all I was worth, and I could hear the creaking and popping of the wolf behind me as it ran after me. I started screaming for help as I ran back towards town, but I was so far out that I was sure I’d be a goner before anypony could get to me, if anypony had even heard my cries for help. The more I screamed, the more tired I got, until I was so woozy I tripped over a root and was sent sprawling on the ground."
At this point, Joy and I both were riveted by the story as it unfolded, our undivided attention being lavished upon Miss Redheart.
“As soon as I tripped, I knew that it was over; that this was the end for me. The wolf seemed to know it too, and it stopped running after me, walking towards me quite slowly and licking its chops. The beast seemed to be toying with me, and I found myself completely calm. It was like I had gone so far past fear that I’d come out the other side, into peace. Just as the wolf was about to have a mid-day snack, there was a blur of color and a tremendous crash, and suddenly, the wolf was gone. This blur of color had tackled the beast at full speed, sending it flying at least three meters, if not more. The blur of color turned out to be a colt around my age, light blue coat and a mane as black as a moonless night.
“He’d hit the wolf really hard, but the wolf was only stunned and was climbing back to his paws to have a go at my rescuer. In his rush, the colt who’d saved me had twisted his ankle pretty badly when they’d collided. So now, the rescuer had become the one in need of rescue as the wolf came closer by the moment. I had to do something, and quickly at that. I did the only thing I could think of, and made a little ball of light and blasted it into the wolf’s eyes, blinding it for a moment. Wouldn’t you know it, that was enough for the wolf to decide that this meal was putting up too much of a fight and limp back to the forest."
Joy and I released a breath we hadn’t realized we’d been holding, sharing a quick smile at this. I mean, we obviously knew how it ended, but it was still a riveting tale.
“As soon as the wolf had left, I went over to my hero to look at his leg. I’d sprained my ankle the summer before, so I knew just what to do for it. As I was helping treat his injury and thanking him repeatedly for being so brave, something just clicked in me. What I was doing, helping out this pony who’d helped me… treating his injuries just felt right. Everything just fell into place, and I knew that this was my purpose. Apparently, he’d had a similar experience during this event, and so it just seemed right that we got our marks at the same time. His was very much like mine, though without the hearts.
“Where my talent is healing ponies, his was helping ponies. If there was ever a pony that needed help with anything, Sam could be counted on to be there. He just had a knack for being where he was needed. We talked a lot on the way back into town as I helped him walk on his hurt ankle. From that day on, we were the best of friends.”
A smile crept to my lips once more, though this time it lingered, Joy had scooted over to me and snuggled into my shoulder for comfort, and I leaned my head over and rested mine on hers. Miss Redheart continued.
“You two remind me so much of the two of us when we first met. I see the same twinkle in your eyes that I saw in ours. Joy’s got her father’s eyes, and hers sparkle just like Sammy’s did… just like the sun reflecting off the deep part of the lake. We were the best of friends as we grew up, and neither one of us realized that at some point along the way… through the years, we became more than just friends. He finally got up the nerve to ask the question we were both wondering, and we started dating towards the end of high school. Everything was just so perfect. Sammy and I dated for just over a year before we were wed, and you’d never seen such a happy couple as us.”
Joy and I shared a look, both interpreting this as a challenge. Never seen one so happy? No, we would be one so happy. We shared another nuzzle as Miss Redheart spoke up.
“Everything was so wonderful for the first couple years… we delighted in each other’s company, drinking in everything life had to offer, everything strange, new, and wonderful when we saw it through each other’s eyes. But after that… something changed. My hours at work got longer, and he was injured in an accident as he tried to help some construction workers… after he broke his leg, nothing was the same again. The entire time he was in the cast, he was miserable. Inconsolable. Even after the cast was off, he never was the same. His joints were always hurting him, and some days he couldn’t even walk on his injured leg. Everything went downhill from there… we began to argue over silly things, began to hold grudges instead of talking it out… we were at wit’s end, and were about to do the unthinkable. In a rare moment of peace, something happened that breathed new life into our marriage… I became pregnant. When that happened, it was as if everything else had faded away and those arguments had never even happened. Joy was the spark the rekindled our marriage, and, well… brought joy back to our lives.”
Where my smile had faltered and then faded completely as the story wound one, towards the end I was once more sporting my big, goofy grin. I couldn’t help it, it was just so precious. Though her thousand yard stare, even Miss Redheart seemed to be smiling as she picked up right where she left off.
“Joy coming into our lives was the best thing that ever happened to us. It was as if we were newlyweds again, all of our energy came back and we were excited for each new day. Sam finally slowed down, though he’d never admit it was because of his injuries, and he became a stay at home dad while I was at work. It gave him back the purpose he’d been missing in his life, and everything started to go well again. We’d still have an occasional argument, but nothing like before. And just as soon as everything was looking up again… the accident happened.”
Joy hung her head, grasping my arm in hers and squeezing for comfort. Miss Redheart’s voice cracked and faltered; a single tear slid down her cheek as she took a shaky breath and pushed on, seemingly driven by a need to get her story out before it consumed her from within.
“Joy had just started school, so Sam was free during the days. To fill his time, he’d taken to walking around Ponyville and helping out the townsfolk, just like old times. One day, a fire broke out in a house on the edge of town. Sam was one of the first ones on the scene, and he single-hoofedly saved three ponies from the flames. After dragging the three from the flames, one of the distraught mares kept screaming for her son. Sam rushed back into the burning building to save her son, even as the flames grew hotter and hotter. He was not going to stop until he had saved him from the flames; that’s just the way he was. We found out later that the son had been in school at the time. Sam never came out of that house.”
I felt a dampness growing on my shoulder, and I knew that Joy was crying. Hell, I’m pretty sure I was crying at this point. Looking up, Miss Redheart had the most forlorn look on her face as she stared into the reflections of a past life… a single tear traced its way down her face. I had another of those moments where I don’t think, I just act… I reached out a hoof and drew Miss Redheart into a side-hug. Though she initially resisted a little, her defiance soon collapsed and she leaned against my shoulder as she silently wept. I was the filling in a melancholy sandwich, flanked as I was by weeping mares. I stroked both manes gently, doing my best to just be a source of comfort to the two.
This went on for a good while, judging by the spreading dampness on my shoulders. Some time ago, I’d leaned over to nuzzle Joy, and found myself trapped as she wrapped an arm around my neck and buried her face in my shoulder. The waitress made her rounds, eyeing me and my “pair o’ mares” suspiciously before she recognized Miss Redheart. Upon recognition, she thought to herself for a moment before raising her eyebrows in an understanding fashion and giving a gentle nod in our direction as she set off once more. A short while later, the tears began to slow and dry as the pair got themselves under control and resumed an even emotional keel.
As I had been waiting for the pair of them to pull themselves together, I reflected back on what I’d learned about this mister Sam Cross. This stallion… he was a hero. I was nothing compared to him. He had lived his life in service of others, doing his best every day to contribute to his community. In his final act of valor, he pulled three victims out of a burning building, and went back in for a fourth. Despite the danger, he rushed headlong back into the inferno, searching for the last victim. So determined was he that he did not stop searching for this fourth victim; pressing on into the flames until ultimately becoming the fourth victim, the only casualty of the fire. I’d saved a life, sure. But that was almost casual compared to this, it required almost no bravery from me, and there was never any real threat to my life. That, to me, is the true measure of a hero. Me? I was just a coincidental first responder.
I was snapped from my self-deprecating internal monologue as Joy’s arm lifted from ‘round my neck, allowing me to move once more. Miss Redheart had already shifted from where she had lain against me, gently dabbing the corner of her eye with a napkin. A moment more of sniffling, and the episode was passed. In a voice that sounded much lighter than it had before, Miss Redheart spoke up once more.
“Ah, well. See? I warned you that this story would put a damper on the evening. Even so, thank you both for humoring me and listening to it anyways. It feels good to have gotten that off of my chest.”
I spoke up, wiping a little bit of liquid pride from my own eye. “Miss Redheart, think nothing of it. I wish to thank you for sharing that tale with me. Even from such a short recap, I can tell that Sam Cross was a stallion unto his own.”
“Please Dave, just call me Dawn. And yes, he was indeed. Well, shall we move along? I do believe we’ve tied up this table quite long enough.”
At this, I cast a sidelong glance at the counter of the diner, where two waitresses were huddled together as one pointed in our direction. Yeah, it’s about time to leave. I settled the tab (against Dawn’s wishes) and the three of us set off into the light of the rising moon. All things considered, dinner went about as well as could be expected, considering the circumstances. I had a profound new insight into Joy’s background, and it explained how she could be so stinkin’ awesome at so many things… she had the blood of champions in her veins.
One thing that was causing me grief in the aftermath of the evening was something that would take me a good while to get used to, if I ever did: calling Miss Redheart “Dawn”. That was going to take some getting used to.
As we were walking back home, our chatter was a might more lively than it had been on the way to dinner, with Miss Red—Dawn, with Dawn actively engaging in conversation and even joking a little bit as we walked. As we were posed to cross the main avenue, I had a flash of inspiration. Where going straight would lead us to the road we lived on, turning right would lead us to Berry’s after only a few blocks. I wondered how far I could get before they noticed. Seeing as how involved their conversation was, I was betting that we would get all the way to the counter before they noticed anything.
For once, I was entirely happy with being right, or at least mostly right. Since I’d been the one leading, and they’d been deep in conversation and had dropped back slightly (they were talking about me, I’d heard my name a few times), they just sort of followed me blindly. It was in just this way that I was able to lead them all the way to the door of Berry’s before they caught on to my games. They stopped in mid-sentence in shock as they tried to puzzle out where exactly they were before giving me a bemused half-stare. Joy simply smiled, sighed, and shook her head.
“I don’t know how I didn’t see this coming when we let you lead the way, Dave.”
“Me either. I figured you’d know better by now.”
We shared a laugh at this as Joy and Miss R—Dawn found us a place to sit, leaving me to mosey to the counter to place the order. Berry had been watching us as we’d come in and was already in the process of making our smoothies.
“How goes it, Flyboy?”
“Pretty good, fruit butt.”
At this, Berry looked slightly confused for a second before she adopted a sly grin.
“Two things. One: you weren’t lying, you suck at nicknames. And two: staring at my flanks again, are we? Naughty colt.”
I stopped myself mid-facehoof, and simply shot her a wan smile, though a genuine one.
“I swear, Berry… someday I’ll win.”
“Perhaps, Flyboy. But today is not that day. So, I have three smoothies and a side of getting-your-butt-kicked. Anything else?”
“Yeah, let me get a side of butt-kick to go, in case I start feeling cocky later.”
Berry and I chuckled heartily at that, drawing a look from Joy and Dawn. I waved and turned to pay my tab. Without wings or a horn, it would have been extraordinarily difficult to carry three smoothies back to the table, but it was just my luck that I had a pair of wings that were nearly as functional as hands. Exercising a level of control that would have been unthinkable before I began my dexterity improvement drills; I not only carried the smoothies back to the table, but distributed them to their respective owners without spilling a drop. Taking my seat, I joined my two lovely companions in enjoying the legendary Berry’s smoothies. Our conversation over dessert was a much lighter affair than the one we’d had over dinner, and soon we were all in a really great mood. Our appetites sated and our topics for conversation depleted, the three of us set off for home, waving at Berry as we left.
I was holding the door for the mares and so I was the last one out. Being the last one out, I was alone with Berry for a moment as the others continued out the door. Just as I was on my way out the door, Berry blew me a kiss and punctuated it with a wink, the quintessential pin-up girl pose. The image sent a shiver up and down my spine, and I could feel my heartbeat speed up in response even as my cheeks flushed. Dammit, she got me and we both knew it, though she didn’t look nearly as guilty for doing it as I did for receiving it. I shook my head and tried to clear the image from my mind before I began to… display indicators of the primal urges that’d been stirred. I was in such a hurry to get out of the café that I bowled into the mares in front of me.
Well, nearly bowled into them. I realized what was going to happen based on my current speed and bearing, and quickly weighed my options. I could (a.) run into both of their flanks and either be branded a pervert or have to concoct a cover story for my haste, or (b.) adjust course so that I only ran into Joy’s flanks, a more forgivable offense. To be honest, it wasn’t even a decision. Shifting my weight, I altered my course just enough to miss Dawn entirely, though I would still impact Joy’s flanks a bit harder than I’d like. Okay, disregard that last comment, that’s not what I… nevermind. I couldn’t help but wish that I had an extra leg to help slow myself down or to change my course just a little bit more. It was about this time that I recollected that I had wings and a mere instant to react. Instinctively my wings shot out to my sides to carry out my subliminal urges, shifting me into a hard left turn.
My last ditch maneuver was far more effective than I could’ve hoped, and instead of rear ending (rim shot) Joy, the very tips of my primaries streaked across Joy’s side, from the base of her tail all the way to her shoulder. She stopped in place as a shiver visibly traveled from her head to her tail and back as I flared my wings and drifted to a stop with a small thud. Having been adjacent to Joy and in the middle of a sentence when I swooped by, Dawn had taken three more steps forward before she realized that Joy had stopped. By the time she had registered this and turned to inquire as to the reason behind it, Joy had stopped shivering as she fixed me with a stare that melted me from the inside out, speaking directly to the animalistic urges within me. To sum her expression up in one word… passion. I was half convinced that she was about to jump my bones right then and there before a small cough from Dawn got our attention, breaking the hypnotic stare I’d fallen victim to.
Joy was flushing visibly as she studiously avoided her mother’s gaze, and as Dawn’s level gaze panned between the guilty parties, I could feel the blush burning in my own cheeks. Dawn’s gaze, while not malicious or outwardly threatening, still managed to convey an almost palpable weight that sat in my chest.
Man, mom-stares are rather unpleasant. No, scratch that; they are downright scary to be on the wrong end of. Under the weight of Dawn’s gaze, my resolve waned and I averted my eyes, electing to study a rock instead. A moment of tense silence passed, and I couldn’t help but feel like I’d just been caught with my pants down, so to speak. Which was an odd thing to be feeling, since I’d not worn pants but once since I’d been in Ponyville. Just when it seemed like the silence was going to stretch into eternity and consume us all, Dawn spoke up and set the world in motion once more.
“Well, I can’t speak for the two of you, but I’m sure tired after all of that. Shall we head home?”
Joy and I did a quick north-south motion with our heads, at which point Dawn took the lead and set off towards home without another word. We followed suit, dropping back a bit so as to not be overheard.
Joy spoke up first. “Dave, what the heck was that? I thought you weren’t ready for sexy time?”
“I… wha—nevermind. I didn’t mean to get you worked up like that. I sort of misjudged my exit and it was either that or tumble into both of your backsides. I didn’t mean to get you worked up like that, love. I’m sorry.”
She stared at me with a look I couldn’t quite place. “You should be; it’s not nice to tease. Good thing my mom was there, otherwise I might have dragged you into an alley and done things… naughty things.”
I had to shake my head again in order to clear out the naughty things that started popping up there. “You know, that doesn’t sound nearly as bad as it should. I might have to take you up on that in the future… after I feel like the time is right, all that jazz.”
“Awww, drat. There you go again, teasing an innocent mare. That’s not nice, and you should feel bad.”
I stroked my chin thoughtfully with a wingtip. “I should? Well, I’ll have to work on that a bit. Don’t worry though, I’ll figure out some way to make it up to you.”
I punctuated this declaration with a wink, causing Joy to scrunch up her face in a mock-grimace, one that was entirely spoiled by the playful smile. From up ahead, Dawn’s voice rang out.
“Why are you two so far away? And why are you whispering and grinning like that? If there’s gossip going on, I want to be part of it!”
The two of us looked up with a grin on our faces, an expression that was matched by Dawn. The previous awkwardness had passed, prompting Joy and myself to close the gap and draw up alongside Dawn as we walked flank-to-flank-to-flank, with Joy in the middle. The rest of the journey home passed in a blur of good spirits as the smoothies hit our bloodstreams; the mellow temperament they brought with them casting a glow upon all we could see. Once we crossed the threshold of our home, Dawn bid us good night.
“Alright you two, I’m headed to bed now. I had a great time with the both of you, and I’d like very much to do this again sometime. My treat, no arguments.”
I shut my mouth just as soon as I’d opened it, cut off before I could even begin. I could see where Joy got her knack for doing that same thing to me on a semi-regular basis. I figured that this was the part where we would part ways for the evening, so I wished Dawn a good night and gave a friendly wave.
Apparently, Dawn had something else in mind. “A wave? No, that’s not how we do things in this house. Come over here and give me a hug.”
A what? Oh, well… okay then. As I leaned in to give Dawn a gentle hug, she wrapped an arm around my neck, and her embrace was no less solid than a steel trap as she whispered through her smile at me.
“I want grandfoals, but not anytime soon. Got it?”
As if to further ensure my understanding, her sentence was punctuated by a slight tightening of the vice-like embrace. Like such a thing was even necessary. I grunted out something to the affirmative and was rewarded by having the vice-grip slack away as if it’d never been there. Our embrace broken, the mares did the same ritual, though I suspect that the ironclad ensnarement was absent from their embrace. Dawn gave Joy a quick peck on the cheek in a display of matronly affection before she set off down the hall and up the stairs. Joy led the way to the couch-bed, and I followed a short distance behind her. Man, that’s a nice… vase. Such wonderful flowers, and such pretty patterns and curves… such lovely, lovely curves… I nearly tripped over the bed in my daze. Grinning sheepishly, I climbed into bed in my usual position, and a moment later I was joined by a beautiful blue mare. Affixing the brush to my hoof, I was about to begin brushing when I was interrupted by a hoof placed gently on my chest.
Looking up from the damnable buckle that had been consuming my attention, I lifted my head just in time to be kissed fully upon the lips. This kiss was possessed of a passion that was seldom present in any other; a current of ice water washed over me from head to tail as I shivered involuntarily in the wake of the sensation. Joy was pushing her hoof against my chest, pushing me backwards onto the armrest as she simultaneously leaned forward with the kiss. Before I knew it, I’d been pushed into a reclining position as Joy pressed herself down upon my chest. My mind was blank, filled with static as my cognitive functions were scrambling to process this sensory overload.
Had it not been, I likely would have been a bit distraught at how quickly this was getting out of control. This was not the case however, and I found myself pushing back into the kiss as Joy and I fought for oral dominance. A familiar warmth was spreading throughout my body from where her lips met mine, and I was in no hurry to stop it. A small moan escaped from Joy as we kissed, sending my heart rate spiking through the roof and causing my muscles to tense of their own accord.
And just like that, she climbed off of me, breaking our kiss and leaving me hungry for more. I lay there for a moment, just blinking, as I still tried to process what’d just occurred. Sitting up on my elbows and looking over at Joy, I found the burning sensation within me growing even stronger as what I saw registered in my foggy brain. Joy was sitting on her haunches at my feet, facing obliquely left so that she was gazing over her shoulder when she looked at me. Her mane was mussed up from our make-out session, a slight blush painted on her cheeks and her breath coming in short, rapid gasps.
My mouth moved in a silent parody of speech before giving up and letting my hooves take control. I found myself pulling my body upright and leaning in to finish what we’d started when my progress was suddenly halted by a hoof to the snout. Joy was holding her hoof up to halt my advance, something that caught me by surprise. Her gesture did just what she had intended; halted me in my tracks. Utterly befuddled, I looked to her for an answer, though I didn’t like what I heard.
“See? Now you know what it’s like to be teased and left hanging.”
Ouch… “Dang, you don’t do anything halfway, do you? Alright, you got me… I’ll stop. That wasn’t very nice though.”
“Nice? Who told you I was nice?”
I opened my mouth to point out that she’d stolen my line, but closed it without making a sound. I was torn between feeling upset that she’d played my instincts against me for her own purposes, and then left me hanging; or just giving her credit for getting her message across so thoroughly, and trying my best to just laugh it off. A brief moment later, I decided the latter was the best course of action, and did my best to suppress my misgivings and chuckle at her crafty ways. I once more rose to a sitting position and beckoned her closer. She declined my invitation though, and for a moment I felt deeply wounded by being spurned like that… at least until she gestured at the area below my bellybutton. Ah, yes… hello there. Good to see you too.
Covering myself as swiftly as I could, I quickly excused myself to the bathroom and proceeded to take one of my all-too-common cold showers. Situation handled, I set off for the couch-bed once more, taking my customary position as Joy took hers. Brush on hoof, I began to groom; letting the stress and worries of the day just fade away with each stroke. The simple pleasures in life are often the most rewarding, and this one was no exception. As the stress and the tension that had arisen in me slowly evanesced, a deep feeling of peace and contentment settled in and took its place. Joy too reaped the benefit of such attentions, and had fallen asleep in my embrace shortly after I’d started.
I know I’ve mentioned it before, but it bears repeating… this is the best feeling in the world. To be needed, wanted, and trusted… nothing quite compares. It was well past twilight and into the hours of darkness before I myself drifted off to sleep, the soft swish of the brush mingling with the sound of Joy’s even breathing, playing me my own personal personal lullaby.
My alarm sounded at precisely zero six, rousing me for another day on the job. In the midst of my morning routine, I was stopped dead in my tracks as a recollection floated back to me from the week before. This week would be no simple matter of showing up and completing my tasks, for that would be too easy. No, this was the week that Technia schooled me in the inner workings of her marvelous contraptions.
Half of me was seriously considering not coming in on Wednesday, though. The mere recollection of the emerald mushroom cloud was enough to make my wings itch. I sighed deeply, resigned to the fact that there was really no way to get around it. I met Joy in the kitchen for breakfast, any trace of my melancholy mood evaporating in an instant as she smiled at me. Something about this mare just makes my heart swell and flutter every time I see her. I smiled back and walked up to her. I gave her a quick peck on the lips before nuzzling her neck and giving her a hug. Perhaps it was being greeted by a smile first thing in the morning, or maybe it was the way her eyes lit up when she looked at me, but I was overcome by a wave of affection. Being a very tactile creature and truly relishing in physical contact, I needed very little encouragement to engulf Joy in an embrace.
After holding her tightly for a moment, I let her free from my embrace, but not before planting a kiss upon her lips as a parting gift. Whereas her smile earlier had been an adorable little grin, she was now beaming from ear to ear. To be fair though, I’m pretty sure that I was too. To see the unabashed affection with which I was being regarded made it nary impossible to feel anything less than warm and fuzzy.
“Good morning, beautiful. How are you today?”
Joy’s smile turned bashful as a rosy hue appeared on her cheeks and she turned away slightly, trying in vain to hide behind her mane. Adorable was an understatement.
“Pretty splendid right now. How about you, handsome?”
Now it was my turn to grin bashfully, which I did as I met her gaze. “I don’t think I’ve ever been as content as I am right now, dear.”
Except when you were married in another life. Or have you forgotten about them already?
What in the flying…? Fuck you, brain. Why do you do this? Why can’t I just have this one beautiful moment? Fuck you. Joy immediately noticed my faltering expression, her smile melting away like wax to reveal a concerned face beneath.
“Dave? Are you feeling alright? Something I said?”
I binked away the stupid look on my face, trying to find the smile I was wearing just a moment ago. “Huh? Oh, yeah. No, I’m fine, and you didn’t say anything wrong, love. It’s just… I’m not sure. Feels like my past just crashed down on my shoulders. I… I can’t talk about it right now.”
“Are you sure? Talking about it might help, just look at last night.”
I thought about it for a second and realized that there was just no way. If I started telling her what was really on my mind, I’d either have to lie to her and concoct a cover story, or I’d have to fess up to my past life, my past wife, my son… everything I’d done in another life. Both of these options sat in my stomach as a ball of ice and lead, each as terrible as the other. I couldn’t lie to her anymore; I’d done that too much already. On the other hoof, I couldn’t very well just drop a bombshell like a past life on her just yet… the thought of life without her was unbearable. Putting it off was entirely selfish and was inevitably making things worse, but I had to be as sure as I could that she wouldn’t leave me when I told her. I just had to hope that when I did tell her, all of the memories we’d made and the bond we shared would be enough to persuade her to look past my egregious lies and deception.
Yep, you’re boned.
Godammit brain… couldn’t you be supportive? This sucks enough as is. Mentally kicking myself in the brain (now there’s an interesting image…), I simply looked at Joy and sighed heavily, shaking my head.
“I’m sorry, love. It’s just… I can’t. Someday, though… someday.”
Joy looked dubious at my deflection, and I could almost hear herself asking ‘what is he hiding from me?’ as she continued to regard me with concern. Not that I could blame her, my entire past was a fuzzy lie stitched around a few facts I’d learned from a book. Looking into her eyes as I told her that everything she knew about me was a lie would be the most difficult thing I’ve ever done in my life, but I was resolved to see it through to the end. The ultimate test of my character, the measure of all I was worth as a human or as a pony, would be to look into her eyes as the temple she built around this image of me came crumbling down around her; to see the despair, the betrayal, and the hurt… and to know that I caused it. Should I fail to look into her eyes and own the sorrow within, I’d be a failure, both as a human and as a pony.
With a wistful smile, I came closer and embraced her once more. Am I a monster for doing this? For stirring these feelings in her, knowing full well that they were based on a lie? For letting her live each day, not knowing the truth and falling harder for the false image of me?
Yes.
For the first time since it’d shown up, I couldn’t argue with the voice. I was a monster for doing this to Joy.
I have her a quick peck on the lips, my heart breaking a little bit at the look in her eyes… she was worried about me. The beauty is concerned for the beast. Guilt rose within me like a tsunami as I met her gaze. Would she hold me if she knew my shame? I gave her my best “I’m fine” smile, though her expression told me that she didn’t buy it in the least. On that note, I walked out the door and set off for work as darkness spread through my chest. Crap, here we go again.
I was intimately familiar with the sensation I was feeling right then… the depression was back. For most of my life, I’d suspected that there was something amiss with me, but it wasn’t until my late teens that everything finally clicked into place and I understood what it was. For my entire adult life, I’ve been very mildly bipolar. My day-to-day personality is very high energy, high spirited… I’m able to take everything in stride and find a glimmer of hope in even the darkest situations. I’ve been told that I have two speeds: “Stop”, and “Sprint”. For ninety-five percent of my life, I’m in “Sprint” mode, but it’s the other five that are terrifying for me. As a symptom of this, I live most of my life in a mania of sorts, developing an incredible fixation on something and devoting all of my time and energy to it until the next distraction comes along. To sum it up in one word: obsession.
The “Stop” mode is exactly the opposite. I have interest in nothing, no motivation, no desire at all. With this depression comes anger, because I no longer care enough to suppress it, to work out the issue and resolve it. This… this is what frightens me. I’ve never been physically violent (save for in self-defense), and this holds true for the stop mode as well. Instead of using my fists or my feet, I use words. I never say something I don’t mean or that’s not true, but I do say things I shouldn’t, actively seeking to cause as much damage with each utterance as possible.
I become a serpent with a tongue not of silver, but of blades. I seek to vent my inner turmoil onto any target I can, my words often cutting deeply and leaving a scar invisible to the eyes. In the past, I’d crossed the line and destroyed a relationship with my forked tongue of blades. Things were said that had no right to be voiced; insecurities and deep-seated fears had been exposed and picked apart, bit by bit. A month later, I’d gotten a letter from her, a letter in which she forgave me and stated in no uncertain terms that she wanted no further contact with me. Since then, I’d fought to never get so low again that I would tear others down to my level out of spite. Today… today, I wasn’t sure how well I’d be able to keep to that goal. The depression now had me firmly in its grasp, and it would take everything I had to force myself to be cheery.
I walked into the maintenance entrance in the rear of the clinic to avoid as many ponies as I could, threading my way to Brass’ office without a single encounter. I walked into the office with my head held low, nearly running into Technia as I came around the corner of the desk. I’d almost forgotten about the training up until now. My spirits were quite far from what you might call “cheery”, but they certainly brightened at the prospect of learning something new, allowing me to greet the both of them with a genuine smile as I lifted my head up.
“Good morning, ladies.”
At this, the both of them gave me a bit of a smile as they replied in unison with “Hey, Dave.”
Brass picked up the conversation where she had left off when I walked in, summing up plans of some sort or another, likely pertaining to the training that was to be conducted. The whole conversation flowed around me like muddy water, nothing registering in my depression-addled mind. I’d found a very nifty spider web in the corner, and had taken to studying it intently as I desperately tried to raise my spirits from this little pit they’d fallen into. Such is the mechanism of these manic-sessions… they can be triggered by seemingly insignificant things and spiral out of control, and just as easily they can be brought about and set on the proper path. All it takes is a bit of effort and a positive outlook in the face of the apathy. It’s much harder than it sounds, let me tell you. So intently focused was I on this spider web, I was barely roused from my daze by a hoof waving in front of my face.
I blinked and briefly shook my head, tracing the hoof back to its owner and fixing Brass with a blank stare. “Are you alright, Dave? You seem… off today.”
I waved a hoof dismissively, trying to smile in a convincing way. “Yeah, I’ll be fine. I appreciate your concern; I’m just feeling a little funny is all. It’ll pass soon enough, and I’ll be back to normal.”
She held me in her concerned gaze, not buying it. “Normal-normal or Dave-normal? The two are distinctly different, you know.”
“Dave-normal, and yes, I’m quite aware of that. I do appreciate your concern, though. It’s nice to know I’m not just another cog in the machine.”
“Is that what this is about? Are you feeling like you don’t matter or something? Because I can assure you, that is about as far from the truth as you can get. After all, you are the one who is being trained to run every system in the building by the very pony who built them, the one who was hoof-picked for the task. If that’s not important, I’d like to know what is.”
I held up a hoof to dismiss the notion. “No, no, nothing like that. And I feel truly privileged to be taught such useful skills. I can’t really say what it is that’s got me off my game, but it can’t last forever. Heck, hearing you sing my praises like that, I’m already feeling a bit better.”
It was the truth; I really was feeling a little better. Hearing the prestige of the task with which I was charged filled me with a giddy excitement, not unlike that of a child who knows he’s about to learn a secret that nobody else knows. Which, come to think of it, isn’t that far from the truth.
Apparently satisfied, Brass gestured for the both of us to be off on our way, and I was more than eager to learn, the weight upon my heart lessening slightly more as the day went on. While my excitement for learning was more than sufficient to keep me attentive and chipper during the instructional phases throughout the day, the slack time in between as we took a break or walked to the next system was all it took for the heaviness to seep back in. By the time the lunch hour rolled around, I was pretty sure I’d given Tech mental whiplash from my mood-swings. We broke for lunch with the plan that we would meet back up at thirteen to continue our training. We parted ways and I set off in search of Joy, and it didn’t take long for me to find her. I was about to call out to her when she approached a door and pulled a clipboard from its place beside the threshold. She regarded it for a moment, making a few nodding motions with her head as she flipped the pages, before replacing it upon its peg and venturing inside. I waited just outside the door for her to emerge, and through the partially open doorway I caught bits of the conversation.
“… minor sprain, easy enough to fix. Would you like for me to take of that for you?”
“Yes please, Nurse Joy.”
“Hold still, this will only take a moment.”
I peeked my head around the corner to see Joy holding a young colt’s left fore-hoof in hers, the glow around her horn a surefire indicator of what was about to happen. Sure enough, she leaned forward and placed a light kiss on his joint. While he initially flinched as if bracing for pain, as soon as Joy “kissed” him, his eyes went wide with awe as he stared at Joy, mouth agape. Joy smiled tenderly at the colt for a moment before turning her attention to his mother.
“There you go miss; he should be back to full health in no time. Just be sure that he takes it easy on that hoof for two weeks, and if it starts to hurt or swell, put some ice on it. Anything else I can help you with?”
“No, you’ve been a great help already. Bradley, thank the nurse, dear.” said the mother.
“Thank you, Miss Nurse. You’re the bestest!” the little colt declared.
Joy positively beamed as she replied with a fond “You’re very welcome, young stallion. Be sure to take it easy on that hoof for a while, okay?”
“Yes Miss Nurse, I will; I promise.”
With the smile still plastered on her face, Joy waved goodbye to the both of them. As soon as they stood to leave, I stepped away from the door so as to not interfere with their exit. The two of them set off on their own way, and shortly thereafter, Joy emerged. At the sight of me, she stopped short for a second before regarding me with a tender smile and a kiss. I returned the kiss and pushed into a nuzzle, simple basking in the comfort of having her so close to me.
“Feeling any better, Dave?”
I grinned a little bit, the most I could manage at the time. “I am now, love.”
“All better, then?”
I had to shrug at this one. “Meh, not quite, but getting there. A few more of those kisses might just do the trick.”
`”I’ll write you a prescription right away.”
We both chuckled at this, sharing another tender kiss. The heavy feeling in my chest had indeed lightened considerably, and seemed like it would disappear entirely before long. Surrounded as I was by so many happy, smiling faces and generally pleasant ponies, it was rather difficult to stay angry… or anything other than content, really. The kisses from Joy were a definite boost to my morale, though that’s pretty much a given. Sharing an affectionate gaze, the two of us set off for the cafeteria for lunch.
Though the hospital was not what most would consider large, the cafeteria seemed to have been built with the idea of creating a sitting area for each and every member of the staff and all of the patients… with room to spare. There had to be enough space in there to seat a few hundred patrons comfortably. When I asked scruffy about this in dumfounded shock on my first night, I received a noncommittal grunt as an answer. Asking Sweeps any sort of question was about as pleasant a concept as making sweet love to a hornet’s nest, something I decided I’d rather not do if at all possible. Thus, it came down to Joy to once more fill the gaps in my knowledge.
“Hey, Joy? Would you happen to know why exactly it is that this DFAC is so abominably large?”
She shot me a puzzled look, tilting her head to the side like a puppy. “De-fack? What the hay is a de-fack?”
Facehoof. Oh, acronyms… how you torment me so.
“Yeah, sorry about that. Sometimes I don’t realize how much the acronyms have invaded my vocabulary. DFAC is a shortening and conjunction of the words ‘Dining Facility’, otherwise known as a chow hall. Why’s this one so big?”
Joy snickered into her hoof for a second before she replied. “That’s what she said. Was that right? Did I use it right?”
My facehoof seemed to be all the answer she needed, and she proceeded to giggle like a school-filly at this. The sound of her tittering laughter and the cheeky grin on her face made it impossible not to smile. The image of Joy in her nurse scrub’s, face split by a pearly smile and stars in her eyes chased away the last vestiges of the funk that had bogged me down all morning. Just like that, I was back to normal.
Well, back to Dave-normal at any rate.