Into the Mind of a Simpler Mare

by harrytheneat

That makes me feel bad because I would never of hurt the baby

March 29 - I beet Angel. I dint even know I beet him until Spike told me. Then the second time I lost because I got so exited. But after that I beet him 8 more times.
I must be getting smart to beat a smart bunny like Angel. But I dont feel smarter. I wanted to race some more but Spike said thats enough for one day.
Fluttershy let me hold Angel for a minit. Angel is a nice bunny. Soft like cotton. He blinks and when he opens his eyes their black and pink on the egos. I asked can I feed him because I felt bad to beat him and I wanted to be nice but every time he goes in to eat so he has to lem something new to get his food. That made me sad because if he coudnt lern he woudnt be able to eat and he would be hungry. I dont think its right to make you pass a test to eat.
How woud Spike like to have to pass a test every time he wants to eat. I think I'll be frends with Angel.
That reminds me. Twilight says I shoud write down all my dreams and the things I think so when I come to the library I can tell her. I tolld her I dont know how to think yet but she says she means more things like what I wrote about my mom and dad and about when I started Mr. Whooves class or anything that happened before the operation. She said that is thinking.
I didnt know I was thinking and remembering. Maybe that means something is happining to me. I dont feel different but I'm so exited I cant sleep. Twilight gave me some pink pills to make me sleep good. She says I got to get lots of sleep because thats when most of the changes happin in my brane. It must be true because Uncle Deedle use to sleep in our house all the time when he was out of werk on the old sofa in the parler.
He was fat and it was hard for him to get a job because he use to paint ponies houses and he got very slow going up and down the ladder. When I once tolld my mom I wantid to be a painter like Uncle Deedle my sister Dinky said yeah Derpies going to be the artist of the family. And dad slappd her face and tolld her not to be so goddam nasty to her sister. I dont no what a artist is but if Dinky got slappd for saying it I gess its not a nice thing. I always feeled bad when Dinky got slappd for being meen to me. When I get smart I'll go visit her.

March 30 - Tonite after werk Mr. Whooves came to the teeching room near the labatory. He looked glad to see me but nervus. He looks yunger then I remembired him. I tolld him I was trying very hard to be smart. He said I have confidense in you Ditzy the way you strugled so much to reed and rite better then all the others. I know you can do it. At werst you will have it all for a little wile and your doing somthing for other retarded ponies.
We startid to reed a very hard book. I never red such a hard book before. Its called Daring Doo and the Lost Island. It’s about a mare who gets merooned on a dessert island. She's smart and figgers out all kinds of things so she can have a house and food and shes a good swimmer. Only I feel sorry for her because shes all alone and she has no frends. But I think their must be somepony else on the island because theres a picture of her with her funny umbrela looking at hoofprints. I hope she gets a frend and not be so lonely.

March 31 – Mr. Whooves teeches me how to spel better. He says look at a werd and close your eyes and say it over and over again until you remember. I have lots of truble with through that you say THREW and enough and tough that you dont say ENEw and TEW. You got to say SNUFF and TUFF. Thats how I use to rite it before I started to get smart. Im mixd up but Mr. Whooves says dont worry spelling is not suppose to make sence.

PROGRESS REPORT 9
April 1 - Everpony at the post office came to see me today where I started my new job working by the electrick sorter. It happined like this. Olive Garden who works on the sorter quit yesterday. I used to help him out before bringing the packages over for him to put in the sorter. Anyway I dint know that I knew how to work the sorter. Its very hard and Olive Garden went to sorting school for one year before he could learn how to be a profesianal sorter.
But Kick hes my friend he said Derpy why dont you take over Olives job. Everypony on the floor came around and they were all laughing and Swifter said yes Derpy you been here long enough. Go ahead. Grumpy aint around and he wont know you tryed it. I was scared because Grumpy is the head supervisor and he told me never to go near the sorter because I would get hurt.
Everypony said do it exept Stamps who said stop it why dont you leave the poor mare alone. Swifter said shut up Stamps its April foals day and if Derpy works on the mixer she might fix it good so we will all have the day off. I said I coudnt fix the mashine but I could work it because I been watching Olive Garden ever since I got back. I worked the electrick sorter and everypony was surprised espeshully Swifter. Stamps got exited because she said it took Olive Garden 2 years to learn how to sort the packages right and he went to sorters school. Kick who helps on the mashine said I did it faster then Olive did and better. Nopony laffed.
When Grumpy came back and Stamps told him he got sore at me for working on the sorter. But Stamps said watch her and see how she does it. They were playing her for an April Foals joke and she foald them instead. Grumpy watched and I knew he was sore at me because he dont like when ponies dont do what he tells them just like Twilight. But he saw how I worked the mixer and he skratched his head and said I see it but I dont believe it.
I was scared he was going to be angry and holler at me so after I was finished I said can I go back to my own job now. I got to sweep out the front of the post office. Grumpy looked at me funny for a long time. Then he said this must be some kind of April foals joke you ponys are playing on me. Whats the catch. He limped all around the mashine and he said to I dont understand it but Derpy knows how to handle it and I got to admit it she does a better job then Olive.
Everypony was crowded around and talking about it and I got scared because they all looked at me funny and they were exited. Kick said I told you there is something peculier lately about Derpy. And Swifter says yeah I know what you mean. Grumpy then sent everypony back to work and he took me out to the front of the bulding with him.
He said Derpy I dont know how you done it but it looks like you finally learned something. I want you to be carefull and do the best you can do. You got yourself a new job with a 5 bit raise. I said I dont want a new job because I like to clean up and sweep and deliver and do things for my friends but Grumpy said never mind your friends I need you for this job. I dont think much of a mare who dont want to advance. I said whats advance mean. He scratched his head and looked at me over his glasses. Never mind that Derpy. From now on you work that sorter. Thats advance.
So now instead of delivering packiges and washing out the toilets and dumping the garbage. Im the new sorter. Thats advance.
Tomorrow I will tell Mr. Whooves. I think he will be happy but I dont know why Kick and Swifter are mad at me. I asked Stamps and she said never mind those foals. This is April Foals day and the joke backfired and made them the foals instead of you. I asked Swifter to tell me what was the joke that backfired and he said go jump in the lake. I guess their mad at me because I worked the mashine but they didnt get the day off like they thought. Does that mean Im getting smarter.

April 3 – Finished the last Daring Doo book. I want to find out more about what happens to her but Mr. Whooves says thats all there is.

April 4 – Mr. Whooves says Im learning fast. He read some of my progress reports and he looked at me kind of funny. He says Im a fine pony and I'll show them all. I asked him why. He said never mind but I shouldnt feel bad if I find out that everypony isnt nice like I think.
He said for a pony who Celeschia gave so little to you did more than a lot of ponys with brains they never even used. I said that all my friends are smart ponies and their good. They like me and they never did anything that wasnt nice. Then he got
something in his eye and she had to run out to the stalions room.
While I was sitting in the teaching room waiting for him I was wondering about how Mr. Whooves was a nice Stallion like my mother use to be though my mom wasnt a stalion.
I think I remember my mother told me to be good and always be friendly to ponies. She said but always be careful because some ponies dont understand and they might think you are trying to make trouble.
That makes me remember when mom had to go away and they put me to stay with the Apples who lived next door. Mom went to the hospital. Dad said she wasnt sick or nothing but she went to the hospital to bring me back a baby sister or a brother. (I still dont know how they do that) I told them I want a baby brother to play with and I dont know why they got me a sister instead but she was nice like a doll. Only she cryd all the time. I never hurt her or nothing.
They put her in a crib in their room and once I heard Dad say dont worry Ditzy wouldnt harm her. She was like a bundle all pink and screaming so loud sometimes that I couldnt sleep. And when I went to sleep she woke me up in the nighttime. One time when they were in the kitchen and I was in my bed she was crying. I got up to pick her up and hold her to get quiet the way mom does. But then Mom came in yelling and took her away. And she slapped me so hard I fell on the bed. Then she startid screaming. Dont you ever touch her again. Youll hurt her. She's a baby. You got no business touching her. I dint know it then but I guess I know it now that she thought I was going to hurt the baby because I was too dumb to know what I was doing. Now that makes me feel bad because I would never of hurt the baby.