//------------------------------// // Bagging Magic // Story: The Nightmare Before Nightmare Night // by Silent Bob //------------------------------// And so my student just couldn't resist, The temptation of the zebra's gift. Three days of mortal flesh were in her grasp, And she intended to make them last. I wish I knew of her will at the time, It would have saved us trouble down the line. Because most things don't go as they are planned, As you'll quickly learn to understand. "Putrid-Mark Crusaders! What do you want?!" Apple Doom shouted, marching in front of her friends. "Our putrid-marks!" Scootaweb and Rotten-Belle shouted. "And how are we going to get them?!" The two gave wicked grins. "Creepy laughing!" Apple Doom smiled in return. "Good, let's hear them girls! You first, Scootaweb." With that, the spider-pony hybrid took a deep breath before cackling: "Buahahahahaha!" The lycan filly gave a nod. "Hmmmm," she said, squinting in thought. "Good, but it needs more lung." "Mph, I think it's these stupid mandibles! They block some of the sound," Scootaweb pouted, clicking them in annoyance. Apple Doom gave a slight smile. "I'm sure you can get it, Scoots, just keep practicing." She then turned towards Rotten-Belle. "Alright, you next!" Rotten-Belle gave a quick nod before bellowing: "Buahahahahahahahaha!" For that, she received a slight look of approval. "Nice! Definitely better than yesterday... though you're still squeaking a little..." "Dawwww," she sighed. "But I don't think I can ever get rid of it! My voice is frozen in time...." Her 'drill instructor' gave her a slightly sympathetic smile. "It's alright, I'm sure there's ways to compensate. Can't you make it sound like your sister's? With that distorted effect?" Rotten-Belle brought a hoof to her chin. "Well... maybe it's something they’ll teach me at the Ghost Academy." A bright smile then came to her face. "How about you, Apple? How's yours sounding?" The lycan blushed slightly at that. "Eh... it's nothing.” "Oh come on, don't be humble!" Scootaweb grinned. "Show us your stuff." “Well... alright,” she sighed. She then gave a slight smile which quickly morphed into a confident smirk. "Here goes nothing.” At that, she took a deep breath before bellowing in an unnaturally deep tone: "Buahahahahahahah!" Her two companions' eyes widened in delight. "Woah!" "That was amazing!" Apple Doom gave a slight shrug, a smile still on her face. "Eh, it's just something all lycan can do naturally." "Beats the tar out of anything vampires can do," Scootaweb complimented, her knowing exactly what Apple Doom wanted to hear. "Daw, thanks Scoots!" she beamed. At that, the three froze as another voice rang about their crypt of a clubhouse: "I gotta say, it doesn't sound that bad." The three filly ghouls' eyes widened. "T-Twilight?!" they cried as the lich stepped out from the shadows. “Hey you three,” she smiled. "W-What?! How did you find our secret clubhouse?!" Scootaweb grunted. Twilight gave a slight chuckle at that. "You three realize that you're not alone down here, right?" At that, they quirked their eyebrows. "Wah?" One of the various stone coffins in the room then lifted courtesy of a bony hoof, a skeleton pony rising from it. "Hi, everyghoul!" "Eeeep!" the three crusaders peeped, scurrying behind Twilight, her rolling her eyes. "Haha! I've still got it," the skeleton mare beamed, her adorned with a 'Vote For Me' electoral pin and a perpetual grin on her face. "Anything I can help you with, Twilight?" The lich shook her head. "Sorry, Mayor Scare, I actually came for these three.” The skull that was the mayor's head actually twisted one-eighty to reveal a frozen frown. "Ah... I see,” she said in a disappointed tone. Scootaweb returned the frown. "I hope we haven't been keeping you awake, Ms. Mayor." "Yeah, we're sorry," Apple Doom said. Her skull twisted about again to reveal her grin. “Oh, it’s quite alright, dears. I do enjoy hearing your practice sessions.” She then turned towards Twilight. “Nightmare Night’s getting pretty close. Is everything proceeding well?” “Better than ever,” Twilight smiled. “Good to hear,” the mayor beamed. “Just let me know if you need anything, per usual, alright?” "Will do," Twilight said, smiling politely. She then turned towards the three crusaders and knelt down. "So, are you three up for an adventure?" "An adventure?!" the three grinned. "Oooo, what kind?" Scootaweb bounced. "Do you need our help performing a resurrection ceremony?!" Twilight gave a slightly wicked smirk. "Better than that. I have a very special mission I want you three to do for me... one that involves a trip to the other side." The jaws of the three crusaders nearly hit the floor. ☼☼☼ ☼☼ ☼☼☼ "Mph..." Darksong grunted, standing at the doorway of the Temple of the Doors. "I, Darksong Shadowbane, the red and black alicorn and most feared creature in all of Edeathstria must voice my objection to this... mission of yours." "Oh come on!" Rotten-Belle grunted. Scootaweb narrowed her bug-like eyes. "We can totally do this!" "Yeah! Just give us a chance!" Twilight gave a sigh. "Darksong, I understand your concerns, and I'd say 'no' too, but as long as these three take the invisibility potions I got from Zehorra, I'm sure they'll be able to pull it off without a hitch." She then turned towards the crusaders, narrowing her eyes. "You three are going to take the potions right? And not try to impress me?" The trio nodded with cheeky smirks. "Mmmm, but isn't there a more experienced ghoul that could go?" Darksong said. "Darksong would, but unfortunately Darksong has to stay here to keep the portal open." Twilight shook her head, taking a slightly saddened breath. "No... this is a personal matter. Noghoul is to know of this, OK?" "Our lips are sealed!" Rotten grinned, the other two crusaders nodding in agreement. "Darksong shall... not boast of this," the alicorn grunted before taking a deep breath. "You say you wish to use one of the temple's beds?" Twilight nodded. "If it's not an inconvenience. The potion I'm intending to use is going to knock me out for a good nine hours: if what I know about it is correct." Darksong gave a slight chuckle. "It is no problem at all. Darksong considers it an honor that the Lich Queen wishes to undertake the first steps of this… interesting journey here.” Twilight gave a slight smile. "Thank you for understanding, Darksong." The alicorn gave a curt nod. "Immortality can get... tedious at times, especially in a place like this, though Darksong compensates with horrific feats! Did I ever tell you about the time I slayed the dreaded hug monster of the Eastern Woods?" "Yes, Darksong..." Twilight groaned. He then brought a hoof to his chin. "How about the time when I single-handedly brought down Princess Trollestia's airship that was spamming that ‘Trololo’ song?" "Ten times..." she sighed. "Hmmm... how about-" "Er, Darksong... no offense, but I really want to make the most out of this potion..." Twilight simpered. "Ah, yes," he said with an apologetic smile. "I do get carried away sometimes, don't I?" "Naww..." Rotten-Belle said. "It's all fine n' dandy," Apple Doom smiled. Scootaweb glanced away from him slightly. "They do get kind of boring-" She was cut off when Apple Doom gave her a quick rib. "Hey! Can't a spider speak her mind?" At that, a slightly saddened Darksong glanced at the three. "You may proceed to the portal. Take care on the other side..." Twilight gave a nod. "Yes, be very, very careful. Do not underestimate your target. She is one of the most powerful magic users on their world." "We won't!" the three grinned wickedly. The Lich Queen then narrowed her eyes. "And make sure to treat her well. Maybe show her about Edeasthria a bit... though make sure it's discreetly. If she's anything like me, she'll be just as curious about my world as I am about hers." "You've got it, Twilight!" the three said. They then turned and made their way to the portal chamber. "Heh, kids, they’re simply putrid," Darksong chuckled, before turning towards Twilight with a quirked eyebrow. "Have you ever considered having any...? Darksong certainly has occasionally." He then gave her a wink, Twilight returning it with a cough. "Uhhh.. right! To the guest room!” She then simpered slightly. “For uh… sleeping purposes only." The alicorn gave a disappointed sigh before leading the way. "Very well…” He then glanced towards the portal room. “You're sure they will do fine?" "They're smart kids, and they've got the invisibility potions. What could go wrong?" Darksong raised an eyebrow at that. "What exactly is it that you wish for them to do?" "Ooooh... just a little errand," she said, smirking slightly. "I need them to retrieve a... package for me." ☼☼☼ ☼☼ ☼☼☼ "Awww man!" Scootaweb grinned as they neared the portal hall. "This is going to be so ghastly!" "Yeah! I can't believe Twilight trusted us with this!" Rotten-Belle squeaked happily. Apple Doom gave a smirk. "You know, I bet she'll be so grateful she might even teach you a bit of necromancy, Rotten!" Her eyes widened in delight. "You think so?!" "Of course..." Apple Doom grinned. "Now the question remains, though. Who's going to bag the target?" "I wanna do it!" Scootaweb grinned. "Naw, let's draw straws!" Rotten-Belle squeaked. "Twilight said we should work together!" "Yeah! Three of a kind!" "Now and forever!" "Crusaders together!" "WHEEEEE! HeheheHAHAHAHA!" "Kidnap the starry child, Stick her in a sack! Paddle from reality, And don't you dare look back!” "First we're going to set some bait, A spellbook from beyond the gates, And when the bookworm comes to look, I'll trap her in my cobweb's gook!" "Wait I've got a better snare, To catch this purple magic mare! We'll wait until she falls asleep, And then she'll be our pet to keep!" "Kidnap the mortal mare, Show Sparkle that we care! Bring her to our twisted world, And give her mortal terror!" Scootaweb scratched her chin. "You know, I wonder why the Lich Queen wants us to treat her so well? Why she wants this other Twilight at all?" "Hmmm..." Apple Doom pondered. "You know, what if she wants to deliver her to Nightmare Moon? You know, as a Nightmare's Eve gift... unspoiled." "Hehehe... well this changes everything, doesn't it?" Rotten-Belle said, grinning wickedly, her two friends joining her before they stepped through the golden gateway to the other world. "Kidnap the dopplegagger, Throw her in a ditch! But keep her alive and well, For our ghastly lich!" "And then our goddess of the moon..." "Will cook her in a big ole stew! She'll be so pleased I do declare..." That she will cook her rare! HAHAHA! "You know why don't we save the trouble, And gift wrap her ourselves I say, We'll deliver her to our majesty, And she will let us stay!" "I bet she'll be so grateful for our deed, She'll show us magic beyond our dreams!" "She'll go to where our lich won't pry, And show us where our talents lie! HECK YES!" We'll be her little henchmen, And we'll do our job with pride! We'll do our best to please her, And stay on her good side!" Kidnap the starry child, Hang her on a stake! Drag her to Necropolis, And put her on display!" Apple Moon gave a grin as the song came to an end. "Alright, together girls! Creepy laugh!" The two nodded before bellowing: "Buahahahahaha!" At the end of it, Scootaweb scratched her head, glancing at the thick woods around her, nightfall having descended upon them. "Where are we?" "Their version of the Everdead forest..." Apple Doom said, glancing about. "Mmmm... it's pretty spooky," Scootaweb noted. "Though it could stand to be a little more... dead." "Yeah, definitely," Rotten-Belle nodded. "Now, where exactly does this... Twilight Sparkle live?" "You guys... look over there," Apple Doom smirked, glancing at a series of lights protruding through the thick woodland. "That must be Ponyville." "Oooo... we're one step closer," Scootaweb grinned. "You know, I've been thinking. Why don't we do this without invisibility potions? We'll show Twilight the full bottles when we get back and she'll be twice as impressed!" "I don't know..." Rotten-Belle said. "She said that we should use them..." "Bah, it was probably just to keep Darksong from freaking," Scootaweb argued. "Come on, we've so got this! It's what Rainbow Death would do!" "Yeah... but she has a scythe... and she's Death," Rotten-Belle pointed out. "Mmmm, I think we can do it," the furry lycan smiled before gazing to the full moon above. "Our goddess has our backs." "Well, let's get to it then," Scootaweb beamed. "For our putrid-marks!" ☼☼☼ ☼☼ ☼☼☼ "Spike, what are you doing?" Twilight Sparkle grunted, gazing at the young dragon as he sprinkled 'holy' water around the tree house. "Defending our house from further demon incursions," Spike muttered. "I swear, it was a divine warning, Twilight! I'm not going to just let it slip by me!" Twilight quirked an eyebrow. "Yeah, but was it really necessary to go and take that stupid thetan test and convert to Celestiatology?" "Hey! I want to know how close I am to being able to pay for priest-hood!" Spike argued. "Spike!" Twilight said, exasperated. "That whole religion is based on a book written by somepony named L. Wrong Hubbard! Doesn't that ring a few alarm bells?" Spike rolled his eyes. "If the religion is a scam, then why should I have to pay so much money to get into it?! It's obviously better than most other religions or they wouldn't charge so much!" Twilight sighed. "I really need to make you read my book on logical reasoning..." Spike gave a reluctant huff at that. "Hmph, well you'll thank me for this one day when the supernatural decides to pay us a visit!" The purple mare gave a chuckle. "Spike, I've already told you, there's no such thing as demons. That's like saying that ghosts exist, or lycans, or that giant spiders are still around." Spike didn't respond. “Spike?!” He remained silent, standing completely still, his eyes widened as he gazed at something above Twilight, his mouth starting to slowly open. Twilight cocked an eyebrow. "Ground control to Major Spike! Is everything over there alright?" "Uhhh..." he finally stuttered, gulping hard. "T-This is Major Spike to ground control... There's something very wrong... I think you're about to thank me for this song..." At that, he took a deep, shaky breath before whispering, "D-Don't move. I'm going to get the biggest can of bug spray we have..." Twilight gave him an exasperated look. "W-What are you- EEEEEEEP!" At that, the giant spider-pony that was Scootaweb leapt down from then web she was hanging and onto Twilight. She then flipped the purple pony on her side and stung her with her venom barb. Grinning, the spider then began to wrap her in a web as Twilight's eyes rolled to the back of her head. "My mother Shelob would be proud," she smiled. "Twilight!" Spike gasped. Composing himself, the purple dragon then narrowed his eyes before marching over towards the spider, taking a deep breath and preparing to roast her. "Uh-uh-uh," Rotten-Belle grinned, appearing in front of Spike with a smirk. The purple dragon gasped in horror, stopped in his treks. "S-Sweetie-Belle?! W-What's going on?! Is this some sort of prank?" "It's no prank, I'm afraid," she said in a sing-song tone, hovering above the ground as Spike’s eyes somehow widened further. "I gotta say though, you're pretty wicked for someone on the other side! I love the scales! Our Spike doesn't have those!" "Y-Your Spike?!" Spike gasped. "W-What is this?! Who the heck are you?" "Messengers," a throaty growl came from behind him. At that, Spike twirled around to face a grinning Apple Doom, her lycan fangs dripping with saliva. "Messengers?!" he cried, backing away from her and right through Rotten-Belle, her form freezing every part of his body that touched it. "ACK!" He then stumbled back, falling on his rear, paralyzed, as Scootaweb continued her job. "Don't worry, Spikey-Wikey," Rotten-Belle said with a cat-like smile. "We're not after you, just your master!" "S-She's not my master!" Spike growled. "She's my best friend, and you're not about to take her anywhere!" His eyes narrowing, he growled menacingly before letting loose a sheet of flames towards Rotten-Belle... only for them to go right through her. "Daw, don't you want to hear what our message is?" she teased, smirking smugly. "N-No!" he gasped. "Too bad..." Scootaweb grunted. "It's quite simple, though..." Her eyes then narrowed. "Don't follow us." With that, the poison barb of Scootaweb struck Spike, knocking him out cold as well. The ghostly mare gave a slight giggle at that. "Shame, he's kind of cute!" she beamed, twirling about him. “Can we take him with us?” "Ugh, you say 'cute' like it's a good thing," Scootaweb grunted as she began to drag Twilight towards the back door. "Come on, let's drag this meatbag to the other side." She then squinted in annoyance slightly. "By the moon, it may be midnight, but it's still too bright for my tastes... I'm feeling kind of naked." "Yeah, there isn't enough fog here at all!" Apple Doom groaned. "To the gates! Crusaders, away!" At that, the three grinned wickedly before making their way through the mostly deserted town, singing silently: "Kidnap the mortal mare, Throw her in a web. Send her to our goddess, Who will beat her until she's dead."