//------------------------------// // Pyrrhic Victory // Story: Faith and Doubt // by defender2222 //------------------------------// 'Another such victory and I am undone.' -Ancient Quote "Hey Twiley." The lavender alicorn didn't bother to glance up at her brother. Faith had told her to talk to him but despite the good advice she just couldn't bring herself to look at his face. Well, she could, but she knew if she did she would only smack it with her hoof. Where once his words would have offered comfort she felt now that all they would offer would be pain. So she had tried to tuck herself away, to avoid what she knew needed to be done. Leave it to her brother to hunt her down. "Still haven't forgiven me, huh?" Shining said, rubbing the back of his head awkwardly. She wondered if he had felt the same way she did and had tried to avoid her. "Uh huh," Twilight said, turning to a new page, nose practically buried in the book. She would have liked to claim that the volume wasn't interesting and she was just reading it as an excuse to ignore her brother... but truthfully it was so intriguing that she would have been pressed not to continue to examine it even if she did want to see her brother. Luna had left the tome sitting on the table as a bit of a peace offering for her actions the night Twilight had ascended. It was just what she needed but was afraid to ask for: a guide on black magic. Even with her mind clear and the fire within her chest now filled with faith instead of rage Twilight would never be able to go back to pure white magic. The darkness had always been a part of her; she realized that now. It was a piece of her, no different than her horn and the only reason she hadn’t used it before was because she had denied its existence. And all that had managed to do was repress it. The end result, when combined with the heartbreak and mental angst she'd felt because of her friends betrayal, was that she had exploded. She become a pillar of darkness and let the black magic drive her into near madness. She smiled slightly as she paused, bookmarking her spot. It had been Doubt that had helped her, keeping her focused as the dark seductive magic had torn through her. Without him she would have probably ended up doing something she'd have regretted for the rest of her days (like killing somepony or getting a tattoo… both of which were horrible in her opinion). Yet another sign that he wasn't as bad as he let others believe. Yes, he had encouraged her but he had done so in such a way as to minimize the damage. The black magic would always be a part of her, as would the white. She was a blend of the two... they didn't merge into one, as was the case with Faith, as much as they swirled about her form in tandem. The powers within her were much like the Cakes' twins: at times they would drift off and do their own thing, one sleeping while the other was restless. But for the most part they were together, working towards their common goal, leaning on the other and lending each other strength. Light and darkness. White and black. The sun and the moon. Twilight. It was fitting. The book was teaching her so much about her new abilities. Black magic, despite what others would have wanted her to believe, was not on its own evil. Did it lead towards a path of wickedness? Of course… the darkness was easier to wield and fueled by emotions. The more powerful the feelings the easier it was the cast spells… but they could become erratic and dangerous. But it was possible, with dedication and work, to turn black magic towards good; just as one could find ways to turn the serenity of white magic into a violent force, cold and logical and devastating. Magic was merely a tool… it was the wielder who determined its use. Already her mind was a whirl of spells she wanted to try out; the shadow meld spell alone would have seemed an impossibility only days ago. Now... now she could feel with all her being that it was something she could do with ease. "Twiley?" Shining said softly. ‘In fact… maybe I should try it right now,’ she thought, looking longingly at a shadow near her hooves, imagining herself sinking into it and fleeing the conversation… The alicorn sighed, shutting the book and turning towards her brother. There was no getting away from her problems; doing so had led to her repression in the first place. "What?" "Can... can we talk?" So many retorts bounced on her tongue. She wanted to snap at him, insult him and tell him off. It would be so easy, so very simple to just let him feel the full power of her rage- 'You don't want to do that, though,' her mind whispered. 'Faith...' Twilight growled in annoyance. 'Not me, my dear,' Faith's voice rang through her head, stopping her cold. 'Though I do agree with the advice.' "Twiley?" Twilight sighed, tapping her forehead. "It’s very crowded in here at the moment." "Dou- I mean Faith?" Twilight rolled her eyes. "In part. My better nature too." Shining managed a smile. "I hope its speaking in my favor." "It is." Her eyes narrowed. "But my common sense is screaming I should punch you." "I deserve that," Shining admitted, moving to stand next to her. “Can I at least say what I need to say?” “You can do whatever you want, brother; you always have.” Shining glowered at that statement. “I am trying to be nice and you are not helping in the slightest.” “Tough,” Twilight stated coldly. “My friends didn’t have a problem finding ways to apologize for their mistake.” “Maybe because you actually gave them a chance!” Shining shouted in frustration. “Maybe because you didn’t try to blast them with magic the moment they opened their mouths. You at least let them screw up first before you rip into them!” Twilight was caught between shock and rage. She would have leveled him right there, but be it his complaint or simply her mind being startled too act… she found herself just sitting there, glaring daggers at him. “Do you realize how hard this is for me?” Shining finally asked. “For you?” Twilight growled, eyes flickering: one white and as cold as an arctic frost, the other black like the flames of Tartarus. “Always about you! Aw, poor Shining Armor, everypony isn’t lining up to kiss your pearly white flank!” “And always about you!” Shining snapped. “So we have something in common, Twilight! Now you are going to shut your mouth and let me finish my thought! Understand?” It was only with the quick flick of a silver wing that ensured Shining wasn’t reduced to ashes. “I was enjoying that apple pie,” Faith said coolly, a bit of ice cream still clinging to his lip. “It was warm and sweet and the ice cream cold and creamy. And wonderful blend of opposing forces.” The lord of the gray leveled a hard stare at Twilight. “Can I not go 5 minutes without you getting in trouble, my dear?” “What the hell are you doing?” Twilight snapped. “You protect me!” “I am… I am protecting you from yourself.” Faith’s horn glowed and Twilight found herself bond to her chair with silver rope. Faith stepped aside and found Shining was as well. “You will talk to each other, you will act like adults, and if you aren’t complete foals I may bring you back some of the pie… or perhaps a cookie, since I find I am quite fond of the pie. If you do not you both can spend eternity tied up staring at each other.” Faith nodded his head before his entire body turned into silver dust, falling to the ground and disappearing upon impact. Shining ran his tongue along his cheek. “He seems… puckish.” “He’s sarcastic too. I think I prefer him being all brooding and mysterious,” Twilight grunted, tugging on the ropes. Whatever they were made of they held fast, not hurting either of them but refusing to give even an inch. After several moments Twilight finally lowered her head in defeat. “Why is it hard for you?” “What’s that?” Shining asked. “Faith told me to listen so I am going to listen. So tell me why it is so hard for you so we can get the hay out of here.” Shining sighed, eyes drifting shut. “If Rainbow Dash and Applejack were fighting, who would you side with?” “What does that-?” “Just answer the question.” “I don’t know… whoever was right.” Shining shook his head. “You can’t know that. They are yelling at each other and everypony is looking to you to stop them and they aren’t stopping. You don’t know why they are fighting… they are hurling accusations at each other. Who do you side with?” “I… I sit them down-“ “They won’t listen!” Shining said earnestly. “Applejack is in near tears and Rainbow Dash looks like she is so distraught that she will collapse at any moment. You can’t help them both so you have to choose! Who, Twilight?” Shining forcing himself forward, straining against his bonds. “Tell me who!” “I don’t know!” She cried out. “Tell me who to choose!” “I don’t know!” “Who was I suppose to choose?” “I… I…” Twilight blinked, Shining’s words finally making sense. “Oh.” “Yeah… oh,” Shining said softly. “The woman I love and my sister… the happiest day of my life and they are at each other’s throats. I lost either way, Twiley… I either denounced you or believed my wife was a monster… and yeah, she was, but I didn’t know that. I was in the worst of positions. No matter what I did I was going to lose one of you. A pyrrhic victory.” “Shining…” Twilight said softly. The next words died in her throat when she saw he was crying. “I… I screwed up, ok? I wanted to protect my wife but I said horrible… horrible things to you. I don’t know why I said them… maybe I was jealous of you to begin with, what with you being the big hero of Equestria and I wanted to bring you down. Maybe I was mad you didn’t come to me and let me know in private. Maybe the stress of everything got to me… I don’t know. But I messed up and now you hate me and I’m never going to make it up!” The stallion did nothing to hide his shame and guilt. “I… I tried and failed, Twilight and now you hate me… and for what? To protect that bug!” Shining grit his teeth in anger. “Celestia told me the queen survived… barely. I want to just throttle her for doing that to Cadence and to me and to you and everypony… and I don’t think Cadence will ever want to be with me because I let her down and I hurt you doing it and she never would have wanted that-“ “Shiny, stop babbling.” “… what?” Shining Armor said in surprise, the ropes falling from his wrists. “Stop babbling and listen to me,” Twilight said calmly. “Have you talked to Cadence about this?” “…no.” “Then you need to do that. Go buy her some flowers, get her some jewelry and if you need to, have Faith tie you both up so you can work through it.” Shining blinked in surprise. “Do… do you forgive me?” “No,” Twilight said softly, hating the look of utter sadness that appeared on her brother’s face. “It’s too soon… the wounds too fresh. I’m sorry, Shining, I wish I could… but I just can’t. You’re right… you were in a horrible situation… but that gave you no right to treat me the way you did. “I am not ready to forgive, not just because of you but because of me. I… I need to learn a few things about myself before I can truly be open to friendship and love again. That night… it left scars and it is going to take a long time to heal. So no, I can’t forgive you just yet.” She trotted back to her book. “But Shiny… don’t give up on me.” The captain managed a smile. “Never, little sis.” He trotted to the door. “Shiny?” Twilight called out. “Cadence loves roses.” “Right… thanks.” Twilight smiled back before returning to her book.