Chapter 3: The Mad Man Next Door
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Sparkle walked into the spare room and, finding nopony in sight, raced to the middle of the room and shouted, “OK! I know you expected Jeff, but he had to leave and left me in charge. So come on out!”
…
“I said come out!”
A slight rustle, so soft and quick it almost didn’t register, came from Jeff’s backpack.
“Alright, then I’ll play your game. Prepare to be found!” she proclaimed, as she raced to the backpack.
Unzipping the top with her now mildly developed magic, she saw a white blur at the bottom trying to cover itself with some of the stuff in the bag.
“Aha!” Sparkle beamed. “I found you, Crystal.”
Crystal looked up from the bottom of the black bag.
“Oh darn,” she pouted. “I thought this was a good spot, especially after getting Dash to zip it up.”
Crystal hopped out of the backpack and joined Sparkle on her adventure. The two ponies wandered about the room looking for other places somepony could hide. Noticing a box in a corner, they approached it quietly and noticed a strand of rainbow inside. Feeling a bit giddy and mischievous, Sparkle charged into the box screaming like a madmare.
“YAAHH!”
“Ahh-oof!” Her yell startled Dash to jumping up and hitting her head on the top of the box.
“Ow!” she cried. “You didn’t have to go and scare--I mean, you didn’t have to startle me like that.”
Sparkle giggled at her prank and Dash groaned before grinning and joining Sparkle and Crystal. The three fillies traversed the large room and searched for AJ and Pinkie.
~~~~~~
Nevil Mitchells sat in his blue recliner. After adjusting his large glasses, he grabbed the remote and flicked the TV on. Skipping through the many channels, he found what he was looking for; “Iron Chess”
The narrator of the game was quiet, whispering whilst the two combatants dueled it out on the chessboard. Their eyes scanning the battlefield, glancing from left to right deducing each of their moves.
The board was still untouched, the pieces still in their starting positions. The anticipation of the first move drawing on and on. Suddenly it began; the starting player reached for a pawn slowly, drawing nearer and nearer the piece. Inches, centimeters, millimeters! Any second now the match would truly begin and ... and ... and!
The player put his hand back down ...
“Gah! Woo, man that was intense, that would have made for a horrible opening move and ... Oh! Here he goes.”
The player again reached for his pieces and chose a different pawn to move forward two spaces before pressing the timer button. The other opponent quickly reacted, countering with his own pawn and hitting the timer. Back and forth the two combatants went moving a piece and hitting the timer, each round becoming faster and more aggressive against both the pieces and the poor timer as it was repeatedly beaten upon by the two chess players.
Nevil leaned in close as the match neared its end, the two opponents now slamming their hands on the timer enough to make the chess pieces shake slightly. Sweat began to seep from his greasy brown hair as he gazed at the battle before him. It was like nothing he’d ever seen.
*CLANG!*
Nevil jumped back in his chair, glasses almost fleeing his nose. Glancing around, he could see nothing out of the ordinary. Again the sound came, it was metallic, and sounded as if something was crawling in the vent. Afraid it might be rats Nevil hesitantly got up out of his chair and walked underneath a vent.
Glancing up, he could see a small ... eh, pink ... thing.
“Must be lint, I’ll have to have the manager inspect the air filters aga-”
“Hi there!” the lint ball exclaimed.
“AHH!” Nevil screamed as his vocals hit the highest pitch possible for anyone. He fell to the floor and stared up at the vent. The possesed pink package pertaining puffed pique particulate pieces giggled at him before being cut off by a heavily echoed voice ringing through the vent.
“Pinkie!” came the voice.
The pink creature looked back and ran to the voice. Nevil rubbed his eyes and adjusted his glasses. Rushing to stand up, he ran up to the wall and tried to listen for the voices that called.
“There you are Pinkie,” a muffled voice proclaimed. “Is this where you were hiding?”
“Uh huh, there’s a funny looking thing over there!”
Nevil jumped back from the wall. Rushing to the door, he flung it open, and ran to what was Jeff’s apartment, but not before tripping over his own feet ... twice. He tried to peer in from the small window beside the door, but the blinds were closed. Nevil raised a fist and went to frantically hit the door before catching himself. He paused and adjusted his suspenders and bow tie, straightening his appearance so as to look presentable and not crazy, then began frantically knocking upon the door like a madman.
“Jeff!” he cried. “Jeff! Are you home?”
Silence was the only response obtained. He leaned his head up against the door and heard some whispers and rustling inside. Again, he banged on the door.
“Jeff, what are you hiding?” he demanded. “You know the landlord won’t like this!”
Nevil stood silent for a second, hoping for a reply. However, he was met with none.
“Ok Jeff, You brought this upon yourself,” he stated hesitantly. “I’m going to get the landlord.”
Another brief pause.
“I’m going now ... Slowly walking to the landlords place.”
He slowly started to walk away from the door. He started to walk down the stairs before doing a double-take to the door and window. Still nothing. Nevil ran down the stone stairs and across the parking lot.
~~~~~
Celestia eyed Spike as he slowly walked back to the library. Once he was out of sight, Celestia bent to the ground. Her horn glowed with her magic as she scanned the stained ground. Small wisps of energy whipped about as her scan continued. Suddenly, the energies converged into a signature she would forever recognize. Her eyes lit up in worry and disbelief.
“No ... ” she whispered. “No, it can’t be!”
Her horn flared even more and, in a flash of white, Celestia vanished. The sun itself seemed to flare slightly over Canterlot as she reappeared afront the mighty palace. Not a single cloud floated over the plastidial mountain town. The Canterlot Castle stood tall and quiet as Celestia hovered before the mighty fortress.
Celestia took no time to rest; her wings spread open and she rose above the ground beneath her. Her wings beat against the air at a rapid rate, quickly propelling her to the Canterlot Sculpture Garden. Celestia landed and stood before the many lone statues. She gasped in fear at what immediately stood out to her.
Her mouth was agape at the sight before her; a plain foundation, with a missing statue. She wanted for nothing more than to close her eyes and have the statue be returned, but an unfamiliar fear nagged her to not even blink.
“Honey! I’m home!” the all too familiar voice rang through her ears.
Celestia turned and gazed at the nightmare that had returned to Equestria once more: Discord.
~~~~~
“Mr. Jonas! Mr. Jonas!” Nevil screamed as his fists pounded upon the brown door.
Nevil repeatedly pounded on the door over and over. Frantically, he didn’t notice the door fling open. So instead of beating a door, he was hitting Mr. Jonas’ chest.
“Oh,” Nevil nervously chuckled.
Mr. Jonas let out a heavy sigh. “What is it now Nevil?”
“Oh, i-i-iti-its-it’s-its just th-that I.”
“Nevil,” Mr. Jonas said in his deep voice. “Just tell me what it is.”
“It’s J-Jeff sir.”
“What about him?”
“I think he’s hiding something in his apartment.”
Mr. Jonas groaned, “Is it fairies again?”
“No!” Nevil stammered. “I think it’s tiny animals, but these ones can talk.”
“Talking animals, Nevil? Really?” Mr. Jonas rubbed his short brown - and thanks to Nevil - thinning hair. “Are you sure you aren’t reading too many comics?”
“B-but I actually saw them this time! Just come with me real quick and you’ll see!”
Mr. Jonas groaned at the idea of intruding Jeff’s home. Nevil meant well, but was often more trouble than he was worth. He turned and re-entered his home to grab his keys off the rack in his office. He exited his home, shut the door, and followed Nevil to Jeff’s apartment.
~~~~~~
“What were you doing in there?” Sparkle questioned Pinkie.
“Well when I was walking by, I was like, ‘Oh my gosh! What a great hiding spot!’ Because I knew nopony would find me there, I opened up the front metal thingy, and ran inside. It was like a long tunnel with no end, so I kept walking. Then I found some holes and saw another creature!”
“What did it look like?” Sparkle questioned.
“I think it had an ear on its neck.”
“WHAT?” The other ponies exclaimed.
“Yeah!” Pinkie exclaimed. “It was freaky, oh, it also had like, glasses and it sounded funny.”
*Knock knock*
The fillies turned their heads to the door, the knocks came again.
“I’ll get it!” Pinkie sang, she hopped towards the door.
“Wait,” Sparkle said. “We don’t know who that is. Dash, go the the window and check it out.”
Saluting, Dash flew to the window located beside the door, landing softly upon the windowsill. She peeked her head precariously through the blinds. Outside stood two large creatures, much like Jeff.
~~~~~
“Open the door, open the door!” Nevil demanded.
“Give me one good reason why I should enter Jeff’s home. He’s clearly not-”
“THERE!” Nevil screeched. “IN THE WINDOW! LOOK!” Nevil’s finger pointed to the small blue filly who immediately hid at Nevil’s screaming.
Mr. Jonas looked to the window and saw nothing. “What?”
“Didn’t you see it?”
“No,” Mr. Jonas said plainly.
“Well, I saw it! It was a small, blue pony!”
“ ... Uh huh. Well Nevil, I can see you’ve had a long day.”
“What?”
“Why don’t you go back to your apartment, sit on the couch an-”
“No! I saw it!”
“ ... and take a nice long nap.”
“But, but I-I saw it!”
“Nevil!” Mr. Jonas stated. “You’ve been obsessing over weird stuff lately, like the time you thought Mrs. Williams cat was an alien.”
“I had proof of that!”
“The point is Nevil,” Mr. Jonas sighed. “I think you’ve been watching too many sci-fi movies. Now look Nevil, you’re a good guy. You always want people to follow the rules, regardless of how ... unique your manners of enforcement may be; and you always intend good. But I think you just need to take a nice long nap.”
~~~~~
“What did you see Dash?” Sparkle asked.
“Some more weird creatures, one of them screamed and pointed at me.”
“Oh, let me see! Let me see!” Pinkie screamed.
What happened next, nopony was sure. But somehow, Pinkie was now on the windowsill, looking through the blinds. She gazed the the two creatures talking. The funny one she saw earlier spotted her, and pointed his finger at her. Pinkie simply waved back.
~~~~~
“There’s the pink one I saw earlier!”
Mr. Jonas rubbed his temples, “Look Nevil, I need you to calm down.” Mr. Jonas grabbed Nevil’s shoulders. “Just take a deep breath, and close your eyes, the pony will be gone.”
“But I-”
“Nevil, just do it.”
Sighing, Nevil closed his eyes, and took a deep breath.
“Better?”
Nevil opened his eyes, and looked to the windowsill. The pink equine had vanished leaving Nevil with a dumbfounded expression.
“Now Nevil, go home and take a nap. You need it.” Mr. Jonas quickly took a few whiffs of the air. “And take a bath; you wreak.”
Mr. Jonas departed, and glided down the steps. Nevil sat there and stared at the window. He quickly rubbed his eyes, and looked once more. The window remained empty. He then lifted his arm, and allowed his stench to fill his nostrils. After his lovely aroma therapy, Nevil looked once more the window.
“Oh you’re good,” he snickered, “but mark my words, little ponies, I will catch you! And when I do, I will prove to everyone here that I’m not crazy!”
A woman passed by, and glancing him a skeptical look in reply to his statement. Nevil ignored her, and ran back into his apartment.
~~~~~
“What were you thinking?” Dash questioned as she dragged Pinkie down from the window.
“I just wanted to say hi,” she smiled.
Sparkle groaned, “We need to be more careful. We don’t need to get caught by anyone else.”
“Why not?” Pinkie asked.
“I ... I just don’t like the idea of meeting anyone else.”
~~~~~
Jeff and his mother entered a busy burger joint. The hustle and bustle of so many people made Jeff a little uneasy.
This is probably going to take way too long. By the time we get our food twenty minutes will have gone by. It’s already been fifteen. I don’t know how they will last without me if I’m more than an hour late. Then again, I don’t even know what the heck they’re going to be doing when I’m gone ... I hope I don’t return to a house fire.
“Jeff?” his mother inquired. “Are you alright? You seem worried.”
“Oh, I ... well I just really want to know what happens in that show I was watching. I was so caught up in it.”
“Are you still talking about the ... um, Blue’s Clues one?”
“ ... Yes, Mother. Yes I am.”
Anything to get my mind off of the ponies. I really hope they’re ok.
~~~~~
Slamming his door behind him, Nevil grinned wryly, as if on a mental breakdown.
“Oh, I will show them all!” he maniacally stated. “I’m not mad, and I know that Jeff is hiding something! I will just have to wait until he gets home. I will wait here all day if I have to!”
Once inside, I will search his apartment. He won’t suspect a thing, and once I find those ponies, I will show Mr. Jonas that I’m not mad! I’ll probably get a reward or something; maybe a better apartment!
The thoughts of the mad man continued and lingered onwards, as he dreamed of the honors and awards that would be bestowed upon him.
~~~~~
The six small equines returned to the spare room, continuing what they had been doing before the commotion. Sparkle curiously looked at Dash’s creation, a small colorful Lego building; incomplete of course, but still distinguishable as a building.
“Dash,” Sparkle inquired, “what.. is this?”
“Oh, these are Legos. You build with them,” she stated, smiling.
“Yeah, but what are you building?”
“A fort!” Dash proclaimed.
“A fort?
“Well yeah, why not?”
“Oh please,” Sparkle scoffed. “I could build a better fort than that.”
Dash raised a sceptical brow, “Oh please, Sparkle. No offense, but I don’t think you know anything about forts.”
“Do too!”
“Do not!”
“Do too!”
“Do not!”
“I know I do!” Pinkie interjected.
*A pause*
“ ... What were we talking about?” Pinkie asked.
~~~~~
“Thanks again for lunch, Mom.”
“Oh, it’s no trouble. I’m just glad you ate today.”
Why are mothers so concerned about their kids eating? Jeff thought to himself. I always eat ... well, most days. Today was just a bit ... odd.
The traffic light in front of them changed to green and Jeff’s mother stepped on the gas. The car sped down the busy street and Jeff watched the car pass the small shops and homes dotted throughout the small town.
“What are you thinking about, Jeff?”
Jeff snapped out of his thought trance. “Hm? Oh, nothing.”
“That show still?”
“What sho- Oh, yeah. Daphne was so close to being found ... Anyway, how’s Dad?”
“He’s doing well; he just got another promotion at work.”
“That’s good. What about Tommy?”
His mother paused a moment, “Oh, you know Tommy, same old same old ... he misses you.”
That doesn’t surprise me. My brother always wanted to do stuff with me, regardless of what is was, where it was, or who it was with.
The rest of the car ride was made in silence, neither mother nor son said a word. Jeff glanced at the clock in the car; 4:02 P.M.
Well, at least I’ll be home just before the time I told Sparkle. I wonder what they’ve been up to for the past hour. Well, not hour; but might as well be.
Soon the car parked, and Jeff stepped out.
“Thanks again for lunch, Mom. I’ll talk with you sometime soon.”
“No problem, sweetie. Now, be safe and have a good day.”
Jeff shut the car door, and his mother drove off to home. Jeff gave a sigh of relief, and walked up the stone steps to his apartment door. Reaching into his pocket, he pulled out his few keys.
“Jeff, my good friend!” Came a nasally voice from behind.
Oh no, not him.
“ ... Hello, Nevil,” Jeff dully stated.
“So, Jeff,” Nevil grinned, “how go things?”
“Just fine, Nevil.”
“Oh, ok then. I thought I should let you know I heard some ... things in your apartment.”
Jeff halted his motion. He eyes darted open.
“Oh really?” Jeff asked, doing his best to act calm and cool.
“Yeah, I also think I saw something in your window. Something… pink.”
“Sounds like someone has been reading too many comics, Nevil.”
“Hey, I haven’t read that many this week! I know you’re hiding something, Jeff,” Nevil said, getting closer to his face. “And I’m going to find out.”
“ ... Nevil,” Jeffed gagged, “when was the last time you brushed? Because your breath is stanky.”
Nevil stepped back, and breathed in his hand. He smelled the funky stench, and backed away a few inches.
“Well, Nevil, I’m glad we had this chat. But next time, brush your teeth beforehand.”
Jeff unlocked his door, opened it, and shut it in Nevil’s face.
“I will find out what you're hiding Jeff! No matter what!”
Breathing yet another sigh of relief, Jeff leaned his back against the door, listening intently to hear when Nevil would leave his doorstep. Soon after, Nevils steps could be heard leaving and entering his own abode. After Nevil’s door shut, Jeff stood back up and walked through his living room
“Girls,” Jeff called. “I’m back.” Glancing around the living room, he could see none of the fillies were in there.
“Attack!” a small shout echoed from down the hall.
Jeff scurried down the hall, and looked into his spare room. Looking to the floor, he saw a colorful Lego building, looking more like a square than anything else. In front of said building, stood a book fort. Charging towards each other, were the fillies. Dash and AJ came from the Lego fort and were charging towards the book fort.
Sparkle stood her ground atop of her precariously placed books.
“You shant defeat me!” Sparkle yelled from atop her fort.
Jeff remained silent, and watched the scene unfold before him. Dash ran head first into the book fort, causing one of the walls to fall. AJ ran over to the opposite end, and forcefully kicked down another wall.
Sparkle watched from above and threw cuetips down at the two fillies. Dash tuck-n-roll’d, dodging the flying cuetips while AJ simply jumped out of the way. Grabbing a few cuetips, Dash took to the air. She circled the tower which Sparkle stood upon, bombarding the top with her cuetip projectiles. Despite her athleticism, she was a lousy shot and missed Sparkle, who grabbed yet another cuetip with her magic, and threw it at Dash. Dash evaded once more, and then returned fire.
AJ again charged and hit another book,. This book was rather large, and didn’t even budge upon the impact. She turned round and bucked the large book, only to achieve the same result. Meanwhile, Sparkle continued to throw cuetips as Dash carried on dodging.
“Dash!” AJ yelled. “Ah can’t break in! We’ll never get the treasure at this rate!”
“Don’t worry I have a plaaaan-!” Dash screamed as a cuetip hit one of her wings. She plummeted the small drop to the floor below, landing beside AJ.
“AJ ... my old friend,” Dash exasperated. “I’m not going to make it. Carry on the mission.”
“But,” AJ stuttered, “but ah can’t just leave ya. We have plans after we get that treasure.”
“I know,” Dash replied. *Cough* “But you’ll have to do those plans without me. Avenge me, AJ. Avenge me!”
With that, Dash did a terrible impression of dying, and stuck her tongue out.
“None can pass my walls!” Sparkle screamed. “They are made of solid book!”
“Oh yeah?” Jeff screamed, he ran towards Sparkles fortress, and made monster like noises.
“Roar!” Jeff said. “I am here to steal your treasure!”
“Never!” Sparkle yelled.
Sparkle threw more cuetips at Jeff.
“Roar! You cannot defeat me!” Jeff roared, doing his best to impersonate a giant monster. “I am invincible!”
He knocked over some books near the fortress..
“He’s too strong!” Sparkle proclaimed. “It’s time for the secret weapon!”
Secret weapon? Jeff pondered.
“Pinkie!” Sparkle screamed.
All Jeff saw was a wisp of pink, and Pinkie stood before Sparkle, wearing a helmet.
“Yes sir ma’am sir!”
“Pinkie,” Sparkle grinned. “We have a new foe. He is strong, and really really tall. We need an elaborate plan to-”
“Oh oh oh oh!” Pinkie exclaimed. “I have an idea!”
“But, Pinkie, I.”
“But it’s a good plan,” Pinkie pouted.
“Fine. What is your plan of action?”
“I say we tickle him!”
“Why?”
“Because it’s fun!” Pinkie chirped.
Sparkle paused and just stared at Pinkie for a moment. “Very well,” she finally said. “Onwards, Pinkie! Tickle him!”
Pinkie saluted and disappeared just as suddenly as she appeared.
... Oh no.
Jeff swiftly jerked to the right, and started to giggle. A jerk to the left and he was soon laughing. Sparkle herself began to laugh at Jeff.
“Noo!” Jeff laughed. “My one weakness!”
Sparkle hopped down from her tower and joined Pinkie. Dash and AJ galloped over and started tickling Jeff as well. By now, Jeff had tears rolling down his cheeks.
“Ok, ok,” Jeff panted. “You got me, I give up.”
The fillies stopped their torture, and let Jeff regain his breath.
~~~~~
Nevil sat in his blue dull arm chair. His hands fiddling away at a small device. The small black box had a small lense located on the front. He gave a sigh of relief, and set the small object down.
With this, I can easily see what Jeff is hiding. I know that he’s got something in there, and I will find out!