Princess Stella was probably the greatest Scientist ever. If he hadn't have to spend so much time on trying to cure himself, he would have easily created more spells than Twilight Sparkle and Starswirl the Beaded together. Only he had so little time... His research wasn't selfish, he had to ensure that he would live long enough to help a great many ponies. Yeah, that's it! Also the research he did will probably help a lot of ponies too! It's like the Quantum Theory, which at first was totally useless, but nowadays is used everywhere and stuff. Like Singular Rock's Theory of Relativity, they are going to need it a lot if they try to put stuff into space.
Here's the account of him meeting that murderous Bitch who probably killed him in the end. He says it's his own fault, but you can't blame him. Just see for yourself.
Twilight Sparkle opened the door and let us in, while Pinkie Pie just plopped down on the floor and went quiet after introducing me. When she was told that I was a Pegacorn she blanched, apologized and told me she didn’t know that there were any alive.
I told her up front that I didn't think she could help me and that even Princess Celestia thinks she couldn’t help me and all the teachers at her school think she wouldn't be able to do anything. Princess Celestia herself spend hundreds of years on the problem.
But I thought it was worth another try, after all nobody ever made the Elements as strong as Twilight Sparkle and her friends did. Also I would like to get a look at them myself and surely she found out some new things about them after studying them for years.
That was when I found out about the so called “Friendship Studies”.
Now of course I know that they were an integral part of her defeat of Discord.
Then I was quite distraught. I have apologized profusely since then.
I also found out that the foci were in Canterlot under lock. I should not have asked weather the Princess was afraid of a coup.
By the time we actually started to discuss Magic there was quite a bit of tension between us. She actually knows about Pinkies abilities and just told me they are “unscientific”. I shrieked. To quote the great Evans Veritas “You cannot point at a part of reality and call it unscientific.” Lies are unscientific, nothing else. If you cannot explain or describe something with science you are doing it wrong. What she should have done is submit her observations to a scientific journal and let them figure out what’s going on.
And it wasn't even hard. It's just her Magic that's everywhere warning her of things. If you see the flowerpot and see the pony about to knock it over it's not that hard to predict it's gonna fall. Same thing with the collapsing building, that's just simple physics. Magic can think for itself, Ponies think using magic so it should be somehow possible to figure out weather or not a door is going to open. Really really advanced Changelings can read minds through years of study and the Elements are older than that and share lots of properties with them. Not to forget that the Element of Laughter might have tried to prank her with all of that stuff.
Finally I gave her some of my notes and wanted her to cast a Spell I invented myself, one to make Magic visible.
“What? That thing? Thats completely useless! I tried it once when Mrs Cake was pregnant and all it did was turn my vision pink!” I just looked at her. “Miss Sparkle, you are the greatest Spellcaster of our time, a coryphée in experimental Magics, Magical engineering and application. But you aren’t very good at changing your mind, which is really important for a Scientist.” “What the, oh…” She looked at Pinkie Pie. “Still, you didn’t invent this Spell, I knew it already after all.” She shuddered. “It’s in this one book about theoretical Magic by an anonymous author.” She levitated a familiar tome from a nearby shelf. “Ah, Theory on Harmonical Synchronization and the impracticality of it's application in sentient species, P.S.: A case study on Bunny Magic. There are my initials: ‘P.S.’”
“What? That’s just short for Post Scriptum.”
“No, it stands for ‘Princess Stella’. Look, it’s even in the same hoof-writing as my notes here.”
“You wrote these books?” She asked, disbelief written all over her face.
I smiled and straightened. “Yes.”, I said proudly, “As I said I am quite…”
“They are SO horrible!”
“What?”
“They talk about torturing and practically killing Bunnies as if it’s no big deal. They are only Bunnies after all. Sentient feeling bunnies in love. In Love, they were in love!” On her face stood a look of abject horror as the second Element of Harmony I met began to cry too.
“Well, you see…”
“And the Hopper experiment. THE HOPPER EXPERIMENT! I cried myself to sleep thinking about the poor unborn baby bunnies… And everything was described in a calm cutting accuracy as you dismembered each of them with your telekinesis while you were still holding the disembowelment charm on Hoppers brain. Oh and don’t get me started on that disembowelment charm, YOU MONSTER!” Suddenly her horror turned to fury as her eyes turned a brilliant white and her horn lit up as she cast a forcecage inside a shield bubble around me.
“THEORETICAL!”, I screamed, “THEORETICAL! IT WAS A THOUGHT EXPERIMENT! I. CAN’T. DO. MAGIC!”
“PINKIE TELL RAINBOW TO GET THE ELEMENTS!WE NEED TO PUT SOMEPONY ON THE MOON! Wait, what?” Her eyes dimmed, but the cage stood strong. “Theoretical? Theoretical? There was no Hopper?” “He died peacefully of old age. We only used those analysis Spells upon him. After trying them out on myself. We only observed and analyzed and checked each individual step for feasibility. We only explored the principles to see if that stuff was possible. We never intended to do any of it. Thats why there is so much unnecessary detail, because I wanted to know if it would work without actually trying it out.”
There was a low rumble going through the room, just as Pinkies Magic was shortly displaced by a wave of shattered reality. “I had nightmares.”
What do you say to something like that?
“Uh, Sorry?”
“No, you don’t understand. I was terrified, traumatized, terrorized, I was completely devastated that something like that could happen. And the worst part: You published another book. You weren’t some ancient madman, you weren’t some old mares tale, you were alive.” Here the forcecage tightened it’s hold on me and actually cut into my leg. I shrank into myself. Twilight Sparkles Magic was sharp.
“I asked about the author of those books and they told me you wished to remain anonymous. YOU COULD HAVE BEEN ANYPONY! I grew afraid of strangers. I only knew that you lived in Canterlot, I prayed that you would die and that they caught you, exposed you, told me you were gone. It took me years to relax and at least trust mares again and I still haven’t had a coltfriend because I didn’t trust any stallion in Canterlot and there’s so few in Ponyville because of some kinda ‘Quarry’.”
Nightmares and Chaos Gods are afraid of Twilight Sparkle, Twilight Sparkle is afraid of me.
This is a lot more funny if you aren’t staring into the enraged eyes of the most powerful being in the Universe… Well, after Pinkie Pie.
“Wait, if that wasn’t true, why did Princess Celestia tell me to stay away from you?”
“She thinks you will try and fail to save me and that it will break your heart. She couldn’t save a lot of my kind.”
“And here I thought she had known of my assassination plots…” She said aside.
“Look, all of the baby bunnies were born without complications and Hopper and them lived a long and fulfilled life. It was just a misunderstanding.”
“YOU COULD HAVE SAID SO!”
“IT GOES WITHOUT SAYING!”
In the interest of Honesty I have to confess that at the time I thought it would be really funny if someone misunderstood and wrote it ambiguous on purpose. In the interest of Self Preservation I did not tell this to Twilight Sparkle.
“I could of course have been extra careful in my word choice,” I was, in the opposite direction. “But I really thought the word Theory in the title enough. I am really, really, really, sorry. I didn’t forsee…”
exactly
“…this. Look, I’ll have a disclaimer added to all of my books, ‘No Bunnies were actually harmed in the making of this book.’”
Twilight Sparkle glared at me, thought a bit and then visibly calmed down. She dispelled the forcecage and unfortunately also dropped the shield bubble prison. That was unfortunate because an enraged Dragon took this moment to burst through the door and attack me.
A little foal normally has no business reading about advanced Magical theory.
He just did a little Joke and that Witch tried to murder him for it. Sure she says put on the Moon, but HELLO, there is, like, no air on the Moon! Not to forget that ridiculously dangerous forcecage Spell.
In the next chapter he will reveal how manipulative and SO capable of murder Pinkie Pie is. It also explains why all of Twilights Spells with edges cut like a bitch. Celestia probably wanted to give her little pawn a couple more ways to kill ponies.