//------------------------------// // 05: Lost // Story: Crashlander // by MasterKusojs //------------------------------// Crashlander Chapter Five: Lost ----- “Surely you can’t be serious.” “I am serious,” Yanvorren said. “And don’t call me Shirley.” Twilight blinked at him in confusion. “What?” “Sorry. It’s an old Terran film. But I am serious.” “I assure you I’m quite real,” Twilight huffed. It didn’t matter how thick somepony’s skin was, she could only take so much insistence of her non-existence before her patience fell through. “Everything around you is real. The only thing here not real is your idea that you’re unconscious in a hospital bed.” “Infirmary gurney.” “Whatever!” Twilight stamped a hoof on Fluttershy’s floor, sending a few mice skittering into their holes. “The point is that the first alien to ever come to Equestria can’t be this insane!” “This coming from the talking pointy-horse from Terran mythology.” “Talking…what?” “The prosecution rests,” Yanvorren said, crossing his arms over his chest. The two stared at each other for a long moment before he spoke again. “It’s the only explanation that makes sense.” “But we’re real! I promise you we are.” “I believe you entirely, though I do have to wonder what my unconscious is trying to tell me in the form of a purple unicorn with a star ass-tattoo.” “You…I…what!?” “Seriously, though. A star? Are you a…what’re they called…Terran religion…Drew? Don’t feel bad, I think pigs are disgusting, too.” Twilight didn’t say anything. She just stood there and twitched randomly as her mind tried to process the sheer absurdity of the alien’s thoughts. “That’s just her Cutie Mark!” a new voice shouted in Twilight’s ear. This startled the confused unicorn so much that she jumped high enough to bang her head on a low-hanging birdhouse. She fell back to the floor to angry chittering and Pinkie Pie beaming at her. “Hi Twilight!” Pinkie shouted. “I’ve been looking for you. Did you see that huge crater over by the forest? I did, and I was like, Wooooowww! Oh, hi! I’ve never seen anything like you before. I’m Pinkie Pie, but my friends just call me Pinkie. Do you wanna be friends?” Yanvorren shrugged. “Sure, why not.” “Yay! I’ll get a party together and we can introduce you to the whole town!” “Pinkie, don’t get too close! He’s crazy!” “I am not, talky purple pointy-horse!” “That’s a silly name. She’s Twilight!” “Who’re you, then?” Yanvorren asked. Twilight, somewhat embarrassed at forgetting her manners, waved a hoof at each of them in turn. “Yanvorren, this is Pinkie Pie, one of my friends. Pinkie, this is Yanvorren, a…well, an alien.” Dear Celestia, that sounded awful when she said it aloud. She sounded like one of those conspiracy theorists she read about in the newspaper, with the single exception that she had proof sitting across from her and drinking tea. Twilight’s small bit of introspection distracted her from Pinkie’s antics (something that was always dangerous) and she tuned into the conversation that had been going on between her and Yanvorren. “…and then I said, ‘Oatmeal? Are you crazy!?’” Pinkie giggled madly. “What’s wrong with oatmeal?” Yanvorren asked. “It’s for food, not your face. Though your mouth’s in your face, so I guess it is. Maybe I should say it’s for your mouth to eat and not to spread on your face. Unless you’re a baby, ‘cause that’s so darn cute!” Yanvorren stared at her for a long while. “I wanna wake up,” he said. “But you are awake, silly!” Pinkie grinned wide enough that Twilight was beginning to worry that the top of her head would come off. “Unless you’re really asleep, and talking to me. Are you a sleeptalker, Yanvorren?” “He is awake,” Twilight firmly said before he could answer. She totally wasn’t jealous that Pinkie had gotten that trill Yanvorren used in his name on her first try, while Twilight could only make a regular “r” sound. “I think he might have hurt his head when he crashed. He thinks he’s dreaming.” “Not dreaming. Unconscious.” “Oh pshaw. If you were dreaming, could I do this?” Pinkie somehow managed to stand upside-down on the bottom of a hanging birdcage and twisted her head around so that it was oriented to everypony else. “Probably,” Yanvorren said. He shrugged and put his forehooves behind his head. No, they’re hands, Twilight reminded herself. He called them hands. Hands with fingers that worked his tools with precision and grace born of years of the same level of training and practice that Twilight herself had gone through to master her magic. She noticed he was biting his lip again—it seemed to be a habit when he was thinking. “It doesn’t really matter which one of us is right. If it’s a dream, I’ll eventually wake up. If not, my crew will pick up my distress signal and come get me.” Twilight sighed. That was probably as close to a sane answer as she was going to get from him. Pinkie suddenly fell from her perch on the bottom of a birdhouse, and any retort Twilight may have had was forgotten when Fluttershy’s door slammed open and a purple and green blur dashed into the cottage. “Fluttershy!” Spike shouted as his eyes darted around the room. He spotted Twilight, Pinkie’s hooves (she had fallen behind the couch Twilight was using and was still on her back), and Yanvorren, but didn’t pay any attention to them. “Fluttershy! I need help. Peewee’s gone missing!” “Missing?” Twilight demanded as she sprung to her hooves. “What happened exactly?” Spike looked up to see the pony that was for all intents and purposes his guardian staring down at him. He quickly swallowed his apprehension at being scolded and turned to face her—Peewee needed his help. Twilight was silent as her assistant explained that his pet phoenix was missing when he returned to their home. He had come to Fluttershy’s hoping that she would be able to help him find the little fire-bird. “Of course I’ll come help look for him,” Fluttershy said. “But I’m afraid I don’t know much about phoenixes.” “That’s okay,” Twilight said. “I have a spell that should be able to help find him.” “Let’s go let’s go!” Pinkie Pie shouted. She carelessly tossed her bag of popcorn behind her and was suddenly outside, urgently waving them forward. “We don’t have any time to lose,” Twilight said as she led Fluttershy and Spike out the door. Yanvorren stood and brushed popcorn off of his uniform before quickly falling in behind the ponies. ----- Yanvorren kept pace a few meters behind the rushing ponies. He was thankful they didn’t break into a full gallop, or else he’d never be able to keep up. Their speed was a decent trot, which wasn’t any faster than the forced marches he’d had to endure in his career. Actually, considering that he wasn’t carrying fifty kilograms of gear, no one was shooting at them, and his drill instructor was nowhere to be found, he felt that it might have been one of the most pleasant marches he’d ever been on. If he considered the scenery, then it definitely took the prize. They hurried through the Everfree Forest, following Twilight’s glowing horn as it guided her to the lizard’s pet. Both Fluttershy and Twilight seemed nervous but determined to complete their mission—Yanvorren could respect that. He’d often felt the same way, especially in his first few years of service. The loud pink one had left to get their friends to help. The lizard—Twilight had called him “Spike”—was riding on Twilight’s back and chewing on his claws. He kept casting fearful glances at every tree or bush that even pretended to move, but sent twice as many back at Yanvorren. For the thirtieth time since leaving Fluttershy’s cottage, he checked the settings on his pistol and made sure his battle knife was in its sheath. The ponies had said there were dangerous creatures in the Forest, and he didn’t want to be caught defenseless. “The spell indicates that Peewee’s just through here,” Twilight called back. “Oh, I hope he’s all right,” Fluttershy said. “He’s just a baby. How could he have gotten this far into the forest?” “Let’s just find him!” Spike demanded. “Hurry, Twilight!” They ducked under a low branch and picked up speed, leaving Yanvorren behind as he had to crawl to get under it. He continued at the same speed, still just able to see the ponies’ tails in the dim light. After only seconds, the ponies burst through some underbrush into a clearing in the forest. The orange light of dusk filled it and gave it a warm glow. Treetops swayed in a gentle breeze. A small creek babbled merrily through the middle, surrounded by tall grass and colorful wildflowers. Yanvorren slowed and crouched behind the bushes that ringed the peaceful meadow. Even in as idyllic a scene as this, his training took over and would not allow him to charge in without taking stock of the situation. He was glad it did. Twilight, Fluttershy, and Spike were facing a trio of larger lizards, easily Kavican-sized. They wore nothing but malicious grins as they stared down at the ponies. Spike and Twilight had frozen, either in fear or something else, but Fluttershy had dived behind them and was trying to curl into a singularity. Yanvorren’s mouth set into a grim line as he watched from the bushes and slid his hand down to his pistol. “Well, lookie what we have here,” said the lead lizard, a tall red one with a confident smirk. He nudged the two others and they snickered like henchmen. On his left was a skinny purple one with horns that covered his eyes, and on his right was a fat green one with a club on the end of his tail. “Looks like that runt and his pony friends,” said the purple one. “Spot, I think his name was.” “My name is Spike! What are you losers doing here?” the tiny lizard on Twilight’s back shouted indignantly. All three of the larger lizards guffawed and stamped the ground with their talons. The leader mimed wiping a tear from his eye and clapped a hand on the fat one’s back. “You hear this, Gordo?” he said. “He wants to know what we’re doing.” “Ha hah. We came for a raid!” the fat one kept laughing until he suddenly belched. Yanvorren almost fell in surprise when a cone of flames shot out of the lizard’s mouth. “Hey, go easy on the sodas, man,” the leader said before turning his attention back to the ponies. “A raid?” Spike asked. “But there’s no phoenix nests around…oh, no.” “Oh, good. You’re not as dumb as you look,” the leader said with a smirk. He shoved the fat one away to reveal a tiny cage sitting on a boulder. The cage was padlocked shut and just barely large enough to hold the tiny orange and red bird inside it. Yanvorren’s eyes narrowed—just what was going on? “Peewee!” Spike shouted. He threw himself off of Twilight’s back and darted forward to get to the cage. The other lizards stood in his way and he stopped short. “Hold on there, Spot,” the leader said. “I’m not done with you. I want to get even.” “We didn’t do anything to you!” Spike shouted back. “You humiliated me!” the leader roared with enough force to knock Spike onto his back. “A baby dragon and his namby pamby pony friends left me with my head stuck through a tree in the middle of nowhere! I lost respect—I wasn’t king of the horde anymore! Do not say you didn’t do anything!” “But that was because you were trying to smash a defenseless egg!” Spike whimpered from the ground. Yanvorren snarled silently and started to make his way around to the other side of the meadow, behind the lizards. “So what? It’s them or us, Spot! The phoenixes always try to get the good territories. We have to hit them first!” “But that’s not true!” Twilight spoke up. Fluttershy squeaked and tried to curl up even tighter. “Phoenixes are never in direct competition with dragons for any resource. You were just trying to smash their eggs because you’re mean, petty malcontents!” “Yeah!” Spike pushed himself to his feet. “They didn’t do anything to you! And neither did Peewee, so give him back!” “That’s not gonna happen, runt,” the leader growled. “If you want the little fire-turkey, come and get it.” Spike gulped audibly, even from where Yanvorren was crouched behind the bushes behind the lizards. He drew his pistol and thumbed the safety off. The rules of honorable combat wouldn’t apply to these miscreants—not after their actions. He aimed carefully. Surprise was still on his side, but wouldn’t be for very long. Narrow focus. High intensity. He mashed the trigger three times and dove behind another bush. The shadows of the trees in the growing dark let him look out and watch the three blasts splash onto the back of the fat one’s head in showers of sparks. He fell to the ground and didn’t move. The other two turned, hearing the loud thump, and stared. “Hey, Gordo, you okay, man?” the leader asked and nudged him in the side with his foot. The fat one didn’t move. Yanvorren aimed and fired again. The skinny one fell that time, but the leader had seen what happened and found the source. “Get out of there!” he roared and spat a line of fire at the bushes where Yanvorren was hiding. The flames dissipated before they could reach him, but the angry red lizard was already running forward. Yanvorren tried to duck behind another bush, but he saw the lizard track his movement and knew he had been found. The lizard sucked in a deep breath, and knowing that fire was quick to follow, Yanvorren burst out of the bushes and ran as fast as he could toward the lizard. Just as it opened its mouth to blow flames, Yanvorren slid between its legs. He came up behind the lizard and aimed his pistol, but the lizard spun around and knocked it from his hand. Yanvorren ducked below a swipe from its tail and drew his knife. It was a single piece of high-carbon steel shaped like a stylized “9” with a leather-wrapped handle around the loop of it. The long edge was a single sharpened blade, and he held it with the point aimed away from him. “What are you?” the lizard demanded as he took another swipe at Yanvorren. The alien ducked under it and slashed viciously with his knife. It bounced off the lizard’s scales with a sharp clang and pushed Yanvorren back. The lizard brought his claws down on Yanvorren’s arm, leaving three deep cuts that instantly started oozing blood. Yanvorren stepped back, clutching his arm. The lizard smirked and rushed at Yanvorren again. The alien waited, and at the last moment, darted into the lizard as he approached, grabbed his wrist, twisted, and threw the lizard over his shoulder and onto the ground. The lizard groaned, then roared in pain when Yanvorren stomped on his shoulder with the sickening crack of snapping bone. “I am Redel Yanvorren,” he said as he slowly pressed his foot down on the lizard’s throat, “First Engineer of the First Company of the Kavican Imperial Military.” The lizard grabbed his boot and tried to push it off, but Yanvorren pressed down harder, and he struggled to breathe. “’An honorable Kavican does not harm children or eggs’,” Yanvorren said. His face showed his disgust with the lizard’s actions. He pressed down harder. Black spots started popping in the lizard’s vision. He could just barely gulp down enough air to stay conscious, but he could feel his limbs getting heavier. He wanted to sleep. He wanted to give up. That contemptuous alien face was getting blurry—everything was. Even the sounds around them were growing steadily fuzzier. Just before the darkness claimed him, the lizard heard the alien whisper, “Remember this.” Yanvorren, satisfied that his enemy was incapacitated, stepped off of him and retrieved his pistol. He holstered it and sheathed his knife, and then checked the other two lizards—despite getting three full-powered blasts to the head each, they were only unconscious. The only visible damage was a few scorch marks on their scales. He’d have to do some checking on his pistol to make sure it was operating properly. By the time he looked up from that, Twilight and Spike had unlocked the cage the little bird was in. The bird was happily cooing as both Spike and Fluttershy coddled it and made sure it hadn’t been hurt. Twilight, however, was staring at Yanvorren—specifically his arm. “We should get that treated,” she said. Yanvorren looked down, and the pain he had pushed to the back of his mind returned, shooting up his arm with gusto. He clutched it tightly, feeling his warm blood dripping down his arm. “I…,” he said slowly, feeling a wave of defeat crashing over him, “I’m not in a coma, am I?” ----- AN:// Well, this is somewhat embarrassing. Because of school and encroaching doom, further updates will be sporadic. Please do leave a comment. They're subtle reminders to get my ass back to work.