//------------------------------// // Poked and proded // Story: Strangers in a strange land // by Snowy Flanks //------------------------------// Baker was sitting in trying to get some much needed sleep. It had been another hard day working in the Pepper fields and he had sprained his ankle falling into a gopher hole. As he limped home he thought he saw something move out of one of the corners of his eyes, but when he turned to get a better look all he saw was a bag blowing in the wind. He turned back and walked the rest of the way home. When he tried to open the door he found that it was locked and no matter how hard to tried to open it he couldn’t even get it to quiver. He knocked as hard as he could and pounded on the glass with his head but no one inside of the tree house stirred. He tried to open the door with his magic but all he got was an electric shock for his troubles. With no other options he climbed up the tree and pushed against the terrace window. Instead of opening up, he just broke through the window falling onto Twilight’s bed. The inside of the house was just as bleak and empty as the outside was. Baker heard a noise coming from downstairs and leapt down to the first floor and down the stairs into the basement. Pushing through the roots that was hanging from the roof he tripped and fell down the stairs got wrapped up in the roots. Pulling himself up and shaking the stars away he pulled his overcoat back on and walked down the tunnel in the side of the room. As he went deeper and deeper into the tunnel which got steadily more humid and leafy until it opened up into a forest of vines. Looking around at the new world he saw a monkey swinging among the vines wearing a cowboy hat. Walking down the now dirt path towards the sun. He heard a screech and turned and saw squirrels and feral chickens hunting down and killing what appeared to be a three headed cat creature with purple spots. He lowered his visor on his helmet and started to run as fast as he could. The trees began to become more and more blurry until he came out on a desert. He picked up a hockey stick and until a giant worm burst out of the sand. Baker jumped on the worms back and used the cables to ride the giant worm towards the moon. He pulled Colgate towards him and began to cheer as he rode his sandworm over the purple sands. Soon a giant green bird with a ladder flew by. He climbed up the bird and came to a castle in the clouds. A shaft of light hit him and he grew to twice his normal size while two sets of wings spouted out of his back. His horn grew in length and he felt tremendous power coursing through is veins. He jumped of the castle and flew up to the stars where he danced with a space whale that shot rainbows out of her eyes. Baker felt somepony prodding his sides and woke up to find Twilight standing over him. He didn’t know how Twilight could be so energetic after staying up late partying, but he expected copious amounts of caffeine were involved. Baker rolled over “Mehh” Twilight poked him harder in the flanks. Baker swatted at her with his hoof “MEEH” Baker felt himself get lifted up out of his bed had water was splashed on his face and he was dropped on the floor. “OK, OK I’m up” said Baker grumpily standing up and shaking himself loose. “Breakfast is ready” replied Twilight as she left the room. Baker picked Light up out of his bed and threw his diaper in the garbage. Both of them walked out of the room to find Twilight sitting at the table drinking coffee while Spike was in the kitchen. Baker lifted Light into his seat and moved to help Spike in the kitchen. With his levitation it was easy for Baker and Spike to carry all the dishes to the table and soon all four were sitting around the table eating. Spike had made a large stack of daisy sandwiches for everypony to eat. Twilight nibbled on one as she read a large piece of parchment. Spike eagerly ate his sandwich as fast as he could. Baker took three sandwiches and broke one up and gave it to Baker to eat, then stacked the other two on top of each other and took a big bite. The sandwich was very delicious; Spike clearly had skill in cooking and making food. Some how Spike had packed a lot of flavour into two piece of bread and some flowers. Washing down the last bits of sandwich with a glass of rosewater, Baker picked up a newspaper and pretended to read while waiting for everypony else to finish their breakfast. Light finished his sandwich drank a cup of juice and started banging on the table. Baker lifted Light out of his chair and let him walk around the library and play with his toys. Baker took his and Light’s dishes and started to wash off the plates. “I sent a message to Princess Celestia about what you did to the library” said Twilight not looking up from her parchment. “And what does old Celestia think about what I did to your library?” asked Baker from the sink. “She said your ideas had merit” levitating her coffee cup into the sink. “See I told you my system was awesome. You may apologize when ever you feel ready” Twilight looked up and cracked a smile “She also said that your system would not work at her school’s library” “Of course it wouldn’t” said Baker frankly. “So you admit your system was wrong?” said Twilight her voice full of glee. “Not at all” replied Baker “But you just admitted your system would not work” “No I said the system was not designed to work at the royal archives” “What’s that supposed to mean?” “Twilight you live in the Books and Branches Library. It is here to serve the community of Ponyville. The royal archives are a part of Celestia’s School. It is there to serve the academics that use it. They are completely different types of libraries” “So we should just use a poor system” “Not at all. For academic libraries it is a simple matter to alter the system. The first line uses a three character alphabetic code, which gives you over 3200 possible classes to work with. The second line is the call numbers to give you a really precise subject area. After that you give the author’s last name first initial followed by a code number. The last line in the publication year. Doing it that was makes it immensely easier to add new subject areas, authors, areas or other such needs. The system is just to complex to be a feasible system for the public library” “What, the public is too stupid to understand the system?” asked Twilight irritably “Not really, but a public library usually doesn’t need the super flexibility that an academic or government library might need” said Baker putting the last plate away. Twilight face scrunched up and she walked out of the kitchen in a huff. Baker smiled laughed under his breath at Twilight’s frustration with his organizing system skills and walked into the library common and helped himself to one of the books. He hadn’t got more then three sentences in before it floated away from him and landed on a pile in front of Twilight. Figuring that she need some time to cool off Baker called for Light and the two of them quickly and quietly left the building. Having nowhere special to go today and nopony in particular to talk to at the moment, Baker and Light really didn’t know where to go. So they headed to the one place where can always find something interesting happening, Sugar Cube Corner. As he walked to the middle of market place Light suddenly ran away. Baker sighed, shook his head and followed Light at a brisk pace. Baker saw Light with his little legs wrapped around the yellow leg of a pony standing in front of the Quills and Sofas. As Baker got close he could tell it was actually Fluttershy who seemed to be taken the affection in stride. “I think he likes you Ms. Fluttershy” said Baker walking up to her. ”Umm thank you Mr. Baker” “You want me to pull him off you?” ”No it is OK” “OK. So you have anything planned for today?” A new voice rang out from inside of the store. “Fluttershy darling! I’m sorry I’m sorry it took me so long, oh hello Mr. Baker where is your nephew?” “Wrapped around Ms. Fluttershy’s leg and hugging like he never wants to get go” said Baker pointing down at Light. Rarity stroked Light’s mane causing him to let go of Fluttershy and stare at her with his deep eyes. “So what are you doing here Baker?” asked Rarity. “Light felt the need to rush over here and hug Ms. Fluttershy. I was just asking her if she had anything planned for today” ”Me and Rarity are going for our spa day” answered Fluttershy. “Well then don’t let me keep you any longer. Come on Light lets not keep these ladies any longer” said Baker turning to leave with Light. “You don’t have to leave Baker, you can come with us. No wait, I insist that you let me treat you to a spa treatment” said Rarity slipping in front of Baker. Spend time in a spa with two delightful ladies? I will have to think about that. “I forsee I will not be able to convince you otherwise, and I don’t have any plans, so I guess you can give us to a treatment” Said Baker reluctantly. Baker and Light followed Rarity and Fluttershy down the street into the Deep Strokes Day Spa. When they got in Aloe was working the desk. “The usual for all four of us” Said Rarity. Aloe smiled and rushed the four of them into the back and handed them their bathrobes. Light refused to wear his, so Baker handed it back to Aloe and all of them headed in the steam room. “So tell me about your life Mr. Baker” started Rarity “Hmm I told you before I there are things I can’t tell about without the princesses’ permission but I suppose I could tell you some bits and pieces without breaking any self imposed rules.” Responded Baker rubbing his chin. Both Rarity and Fluttershy perked up and waited. “To be honest my life isn’t all that interesting. I was born in the hospital and we deeply loved by both of my parents. I went to school and got good grades but never really made any friends. I feel in love with reading since it was an escape from my mundane life. My whole family loved to play sports, to watch sports, to talk about sports and I never saw the appeal so I spent a lot of time on my own just reading anything I could get my hooves on. After high school I took a year of from school and work a simple job to give myself something to do. After that it was back to school to study my tail of to become a librarian because after all, books were still everything to me. I had just graduated with my degree and was looking for library job when I was brought here. I still lived with my parents so there was no real drive to find any job I could find, after all my parents liked having me live in the house and didn’t make me pay rent so I guess I had to opportunity to pick what job I wanted. I hope I can get back to them soon. Anyway I came here, talked to the princesses and here I am. See nothing particularly interesting about me. So why don’t you two tell me about yourselves?” After they were done steaming Rarity, Fluttershy and Baker got into a mud bath while Light played got his coat brushed. The mud felt great on Light’s skin, like it was dipped in a low electric shock. All of his muscles felt like they were being soothed. He never understood why anyone would want to take a bath in dirt buy now he could see what the big deal was, it was great. Lotus appeared beside him and painted a mud mask on his face, it was very invigorating and he could feel his skin getting softer as the mask soaked in, and the cucumber slices on his eyelid felt like angel kisses. He was definitely going to need another spa treatment someday. “So how did you get here?” asked Rarity. “Nuh uh uh Rarity, I asked you a question, and I can’t answer that question anyway” “Well darling, I guess you are right. I was born right here in Ponyville, in fact I still live in the very room I was born in. My father taught hoofball and my mother worked retail. I went to school with Cheerilee and Berry Punch, they were the first friends I had there. I was always interested in fashion but I nothing really big happened until I got my cutie mark. After that I had this unquenchable desire dress people up. There wasn’t a day that you couldn’t find me at a sewing machine making something. I started to sew every chance I got. I made dresses for all the dolls in the class, I designed all my nightmare night costumes, and I even took classes in business administration so I could figure out the best way to sell stuff. While I was a senior my little sister was born and I made all of her outfits and dolls. Once I graduated from school. My mom told me we had to move, but I didn’t want to leave all my friends and the contacts I had made so early in my business so I convinced them to let be stay in their old house. I took out a low interest business loan bought the mortgage from them and opened up my boutique. It only took me three years to pay off the mortgage. I meet Fluttershy one day when I was collecting silk from some of the Vox spiders that live near the Everfree. I had caught my mane in one of their webs and she came over and convinced the spiders to let me go. I was so greatful to her that I took her to the spa to get her coat brushed. We’ve been coming here every week since. Now I own a successful business and am making connections with the Canterlot elite. After everypony was washed down it was time for the part of the treatment that Baker was most interested about. All four customers laid down on table and began to receive a massage. Baker had been worried that getting rubbed by hooves was going to be uncomfortable but it turned out the Aloe’s hooves were softer then the softest of velvets. “My my sir you really have a lot of knots” “Yah I know, I don’t care how hard you have to be work those knots free, I can take the pain” Baker had been wrong, he couldn’t take the pain, but he wasn’t about to admit it in front of everypony. He just bit his lip and let Aloe do what she was trained to do. He could feel his muscles getting looser, but he could tell it would not be easy. Light had a much less intense rub down. “What about you Ms. Fluttershy?” [=size.9em]“Umm, When I was little I was a very weak flyer. My mom died giving birth to me and my dad worked so hard that I never got to see him. No one ever taught me how to fly so I had to hop around and glide as best I could do. Ponies kept teasing me and my teachers were to busy to help me. Every time I tried to talk they yelled at me until I just stopped talking. The Rainbow dash stood up for me and she became my best friend. After I fell down to earth, I fell in love with the world around me. I could go as high and as slow as I wanted to and no one would yell at me. It was late at night so I stayed in an abandoned cabin near the woods. I don’t think dad was even aware I was gone. I’ve lived in the cabin ever since taking care of my animals and helping them get better” By the time Fluttershy had finished tell Baker her history the massage was done and Baker felt better then he ever had. All that pain in his back from working in the fields was gone and the small tangles in the coat, mane and tail were gone. After thanking both Fluttershy and Rarity from gracing him with their presence both Light and Baker left the spa. They went to the café for a late lunch. Baker ordered tomato soup while Light got vegetable sticks and hay fries. The soup was nice and thick and Light really enjoyed the snap sound each time he ate on of his sticks. Leaving a small tip Baker was about to leave when he was tackled to the ground “OH OH you got your cutie mark!” said the Scootaloo jumping up and down “Yep got it last morning, it wasn’t that hard to get” said Baker standing up and dusting himself off. “How did you do it? You said you weren’t trying” said Apple Bloom “Technically I let you say that I wasn’t trying, I didn’t have my mark for a different reason” “But how did you get it?” “Well I kind of completely reorganized Twilight’s library so that it would be more useable for the public it is supposed to serve. To be honest I don’t see the big deal” “What do you mean it isn’t a big deal?” cried Sweetie Belle “We’ll it’s not like me getting my mark changed anything. I knew right from the start that I was going to work in a library. I also knew that I like to organize things. I planned to work in a library for years. Getting a mark that confirms it is nice, but if my mark had been a flowerpot it wouldn’t have changed my life plans. Unlike someponies, I am not going to worry about an image on my flank. It doesn’t control my life or who I am” “But we need are marks so we know what to do!’ cried out all three. ‘Let me ask you a questions girls. If you got your mark would you base your life on it?” “Yes” “So if you all got a mark for say getting punched in the face would you want to do it?” “NO!” “But by your own logic it would be your mark, you would have to do it no matter what” The girls looked shocked. “You see girls, if you keep trying everything you can think of in a desperate attempt to get a cutie mark, it is true you might get one, but at the same time you might get one in something that you do not find enjoyable. Since cutie marks are supposed to lead your lives you would be stuck doing something you don’t like” “But a cutie mark it always something you like doing” said Apple Bloom quietly. “So your telling me you need your flank to tell you what you like to do?” “No” “Perhaps you should focus on doing things you enjoy doing and let your cutie mark come when you are doing something you like” “But we want are cutie marks now!” said Scootaloo “Then I guess it is your choice, do something you enjoy and let your cutie mark come naturally, or do everything you can think of and risk setting yourself a career in stall mucking, stifle sniffing or vomit collecting” said Baker with a shrug as he collected Light and turned to walk away. When he turned a corner he caught a glace of the cutie mark crusaders still sitting stunned on the ground. The looks on the girls faces told Baker he had given them something to think about.