“An' did we learn a lesson from all this here tomfoolery, sugarcube?” Applejacked asked her friend gently as they dangled their hooves in the water of the stream running through Apple Acres property.
“No,” Pinkie said promptly, pouting with a lip that seemed about twice the size as it rightly should've been, to Applejack's reckoning. “I didn't learn a thing except that my mane hates me. And Twilight's science gizmos hate me. And Polesloke hates me. And Gilda hates me even though I kind of knew that already. And Rarity hates me but only when I try to make her do suspicious property trades in Monopony.”
“Are ya sure ya didn't learn anything?” Applejack nudged her friend, who wobbled like gelatin. “Maybe somethin' 'bout acceptin' them there common laws o' physics governin' mundane reality?”
“I hate the common laws of physics governing mundane reality,” Pinkie snarled, burning her snout down between her hooves. “They're stupid! Like gravity, and, and and and... STUPID GRAVITY, YOUR FACE IS UGLY AND FULL OF PIMPLES AND YOU'LL NEVER GET A VERY SPECIAL SOMEPONY BECAUSE NOPONY LIKES YOU! RAAAHHHHH!” She waved her hooves in the air like she could tear down an invisible enemy in front of her, then flopped down again with a thud. Well, considering her body type, it was less of a thud and more of a floonsh.
Sighing, Applejack patted her rapidly-pancaking friend on the back. “There, there. Ya feel better now?”
“Not really.” Pinkie sniffed. “I tried so hard. All for nothing.”
“From what I hear tell from ol' Spike, t'ain't that interestin' of a game anywho,” Applejack commented with a shift of her hat to tilt over her eyes so she'd look all wise-like, like one of them sagacious eastern masters on secluded mountaintops. Yep, sometimes it just paid to keep your hooves on the ground. “There's other games. You're still Pinkie Pie, the partiest pony that ever done circled a squaredance, even if'n there's just one little thing y'can't play.”
“I guess.” Pinkie wallowed herself over closer to Applejack and propped her head up over her back, her body close to jelly consistency. “You'd think that between fancy machines and earth pony magic and everything else I woulda got something to work, though.”
“Yuuup, you tried real hard, alright,” a passing Big Mac noted, hauling a bail of hay off to the barn. “Can't think of anything that'd let a pony make doohicky symbols like that. 'Cept maybe flash cards, like what Apple Bloom used when her parts o' speech were givin' her a headache,” he added idly, looking up at the clouds, shifting his mouth-straw to the other side of his mouth and then continuing on.
Pinkie went from a jellypony to a stiff-straight steel rod of a pony in nothing flat, so fast that Applejack felt the clap of displaced air smacking her side.
“Oh... my pony... god...” Pinkie breathed, eyes huge and sparkly.
“Uh. Pinkie Pie?” Applejack asked, but she was too late.
The party pony had already ran over to her brother and... oh dear Princess's sweet ball of flamin' gases in the sky, what was she DOING?! Mouths were not supposed to bend like that! Applejack pulled her hat down over her eyes entirely, feeling sick.
“THANK YOU SO MUCH BIG MAC I LOVE YOU BYE BYE!” Pinkie screamed and then zoomed off, causing all the apple trees nearby to drop their apples to the ground. Big Mac was left in a daze, eyes swirling, drool at the corner of his mouth.
As it turned out, Pinkie's destination was home to the bakery, and her goal was simply to finish writing a letter to the Princess.
Dear Princess Celestia,
Today I learned that sometimes ponies have to obey the common laws of physics governing mundane reality even when they really, really don't want to. Because accepting your limitations is part of accepting who you are, and doesn't make you a lesser pony even if there are some things you absolutely cannot ever never ever do. I feel better about myself now that I've accepted my own limitations, which don't make me a bad party pony at all, even if I can't play every single game there ever was or ever will be.
Flash cards are freaking awesome.
Abso-sincere-lutely, Pinkamena Diane Pie, Premiere Party Pony and Novice Player of Rock Paper Scissors
P.S.
Scissors are totally underpowered.