//------------------------------// // Twilight Vs. Email // Story: Twilight Vs. Technology // by ChainReaction //------------------------------// "What a long day," spoke Ponyville's resident librarian as she opened the door to her tree house. Her eyes scanned the library as the sun shone its rays in the windows, illuminating the study completely. "Spike, I'm home!" No answer came from the empty library. "Are you there?!" "Are you going to throw something at me again?" came a shaking voice from up the stairs. Twilight let out a long sigh. "I told you it was an accident, mister. How was I supposed to know exactly where you were when I threw it out the window?" Twilight asked her assistant with minor annoyance as she took the purple bag off her side and sat it down on the floor. Spike reluctantly started walking down the stairs, remaining cautious the whole way. The lavender unicorn looked over to the stairs to find her number one assistant using a Daring Doo novel as a makeshift shield. Twilight looked unamused. "Really, Spike?" she asked the little drake. Spike raised his eyebrow. "Are you unarmed?" Twilight's eye twitched. "For the last time, It. Was. An. Accident!" she yelled. Spike put the book back on the table behind him, before wiping his forehead with his claw. "Phew; I thought you went out to get another iPod," he told her. "Don't be silly, Spike. I'm done with all that Apple stuff," Twilight told him. A pink pony popped her head through the study's open window. "Awww. You shouldn't be a meanie mean pants to Applejack, Twilight," Pinkie told her friend while careening her neck through the window. Twilight jumped a bit from the shock of pony who all of a sudden spoke right behind her. "Pinkie? What are you doing in my window?" she asked the pink mare, who's body quickly followed through the window and landed on the floor of the library. She giggled and began to bounce in place, her messy pink mane moving in the opposite motion of her body. "I'm not in your window now! Now I'm on the floor. Hey! Didja like have better luck with the iPod yesterday than your iPhone?" Pinkie asked her friend happily while continuing to bounce on the library's floor. Twilight put her hoof behind her head and scratched her mane in a sheepish fashion. "Not really," she answered. "She decided it would be great for practicing with, though," Spike spoke while chuckling. Pinkie's ears perked up and she shot over to where Spike stood before leaning down. "What kind of practice, Spikey Wikey?" she asked him, feeling the joke coming from a mile away. Spike put his claw up to his mouth to contain his laughter. "For the Ponylympics of course. She's been trying out for the shot put," he finished. Spike and Pinkie guffawed at the horrible punch line and fell on the ground, holding their bellies in a fit of giggle-snorting laughter. "Hehehehaha*snort*hahaha. Good one, Spike!" Pinkie told the drake. "Haha. Thanks. I have been practicing my stand-up comedy," he told her as they continued to gale in laughter. Twilight was now glaring at them. "Pinkie, did you come here for something?" Twilight asked her good friend which she was about to kick out her front door. Pinkie jumped up and her eyes widened. "Oh yeah! I was gunna wish you good luck with your computer!" Pinkie spoke happily. Twilight only returned her smile with a confused look. "Computer?" she asked. The unicorn's eyes then moved to the table where Spike sat the Daring Doo novel. Her jaw dropped. "Aha! It's here!" the unicorn exclaimed happily before trotting over to the brand new PC that was on her table. She ordered a computer not even a week ago, and evidently they delivered it this afternoon and Spike set it up for her along with the modem and speakers. Pinkie chuckled at her friend's excitement. "Well, you have fun Twilight! I just remembered I had to make three dozen batches of muffins this afternoon for Derpy. She said it was for a family reunion," the party pony told her. Twilight didn't seem to notice as she just waved her hoof backwards in her friend's direction. Her eyes were glued to the LCD screen. "Alright Pinkie, see you later," Twilight told her friend while admiring the slick design of the monitor. Pinkie laughed under her breath at Twilight's awe towards the new piece of tech, before bouncing towards the doorway. Spike finally stopped laughing and stood up to notice Twilight in front of the computer, eyeing it over with a huge smile on her face. His eyes began to widen at the feeling of impending doom. "Wait Pinkie! Take me with you!" he yelled before running out of the doorway and down Ponyville. Twilight had opened up a new window in Internet Explorer. "Alright," the lavender mare beamed. "Let's see if I remember how to do this." She moved her hoof along the mouse pad up to the favorites bar. Once the cursor was hovering over the little purple Y, she gently tapped the mouse pad twice with her hoof. Her page went blank and began to load Yahoo. Twilight rubbed her hooves together in excitement. "Oh this is so exciting! With Spike out on his adventure, I'll have to use this gizmo to update the Princess on my studies!" she exclaimed happily. Luckily, Spike had already logged her email in for her and set it to save her password, so all she had to do was lightly click on the yellow 'Log In' button. She was getting better at determining how hard she had to press her hooves down. The unicorn clicked on compose message and it brought up a new Email. Twilight squee'd with happiness. "I'm doing it! I'm actually doing it, and there is no risk of breaking anything!" she announced like she had overcome the obstacle of a lifetime. She clicked on the large empty space until a highlighted line appeared, indicating she could start typing her message. "Now," she began as she placed her hooves over the black QWERTY keyboard. She looked down at the letters and began to type. "Dear...Princess...Celestia..." Ratta tatta tatta She looked to the screen with utter joy to see how her introduction begun. It read, dxdr v;podfim cdsdsd cdxdl.,eddsgkos... Twilight formed a frown and raised an eyebrow. "Hmm...That's not what I wrote..." the Element of Magic spoke. She clicked on backspace with her hoof until she erased the gibberish she had originally typed. "Let's try this again," she said before placing her hooves on the keyboard and keeping her eyes trained on the screen this time. Slowly, her hooves moved across the keyboard to type, letter by letter. "Deeeaar..." she drew out. Her eyebrows furrowed when all she saw on the screen was, sztfeaws\aesf... "Oh come on!" Twilight exclaimed loudly as a little white filly walked outside her window on her way to Carousel Boutique, causing her to stop and get a strange sensation of Deja Vu. "How'd the ellipses even get there?! I wasn't even touching the punctuation keys for pony's sake!" Twilight yelled in frustration. ::Fifteen Minutes Later...:: "COMEONECOMEONCOMEONCOMEONCOMEON!" screamed the unicorn as she punched the keyboard like Muhaymmad Ali during an Equestrian heavyweight match. After wailing on the keyboard for several minutes, trying to understand the irrationality of typing with hooves, she once again looked to the screen while breathing heavy breaths of anger and frustration. It read, dsisisi dl;d. cleyoqhbuq, hoep;mos;'1[w,,xk/feeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeewioejjZZZ... "GAH!" Twilight screamed in frustration before slamming her face down on the keyboard with a thud. ...ZZZZZZ...Derp... The lavender mare's cheeks burned red with frustration as she lifted her head and flung the keyboard to the behind her towards the door. Just then, the same library door opened. "Twilight, I'm back!" Spike announced happily.