//------------------------------//
// Chapter 16 
// Story: Wet Dreams 
// by totallynotabrony 
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	Stuck in zebra jail was not really the place where I wanted to be.  Apparently, “non-stripers” like myself were a novelty.  As I was also a non-stripper, I did not like the situation.  Not one bit.
Speaking of one bit, I still had the little bag of gold I’d brought with, which was worth considerably more than just one bit.  In fact, it was worth so much that the guards happily accepted the bribe and let me go.
totallynotabrony scratched his head.  “He got out of zebra jail within two paragraphs?  Eh, screw the rules, I have ponies.”
Trekking across the zebra homeland did not look like a viable option.  As I had noted from the river, one side of the country was dense jungle and the other was flat grasslands.  Going either way, I’d probably starve before making any significant progress.
I facehoofed.  “Oh yeah, pony.  Plants are everywhere.”
Yes, subsisting on grass like some common beast of burden was not fun.  It beat being part of a harem, however.  More on that later.
I was headed for the coast, where I hoped to meet the ship.  Day by day, my mood swung back and forth between “they abandoned me” and “it was only an accident.”  True, they hadn’t turned the ship around to come get me after I was set adrift, but if there was one thing this whole crazy trip had taught me, it was that you couldn’t count on anyone.  Not even yourself, especially if it’s me you’re talking about.
I managed to make my way to the capital of the zebra homeland, which was called Zebraburg.  I was able to find a tourist map there that pointed me towards a likely city on the coast, Zebraport.  Strangely, none of the rest of the cities in the country shared a similar naming theme.  Freaks.
My worldly possessions were just the pair of cutlasses I had brought with me from the ship.  I had fashioned a way to hold them comfortably on my back in a crossed, X-shape and felt like kind of a badass for doing do.  More on that later.
I hooked up with a companion named Zed and we walked together for a while.  He sang me the song of his people.  I sang him Friday and told him it was the song of my people.  He didn’t talk much after that.
The two of us wound up in a small town whose name was painted on a sign that had fallen down.  I elected not to turn the sign over and find out, and therefore will never know the name of the place where I found the best sauerkraut in all of the zebra homeland.  More on that later.
We eventually reached Zebraport and Zed asked me if I was interested in hookers.  I was not.  He asked if I was into exotic stuff.  I was not.
Zed then asked me if I would go to a tavern with him and make sure he didn’t die of alcohol poisoning.  I told him that I would likely be too drunk myself to notice, but vowed to try.  I have no idea if I succeeded however, because I saw something that interested me greatly and left.  Later, Zed looked around for moral support after finding himself unable to drink his problems away, expecting to find me there.  I was not.
I had gone down to the waterfront to see if the ship was there.  I actually found it, but there didn’t seem to be anybody aboard.  After waiting around for a while, I decided to go looking for them.
I was a little surprised to find that they’d been adopted by a madam, and had become part of her harem.  Pinkie was the only one who realized what was going on, but she was also the only one who didn’t seem to mind.  Go figure.
Of course, after I busted into the place intent on rescuing them, then the chains and shackles came out.  I got into a little argument with the harem management about that.  They didn’t seem to care.
It was a good thing I was always carrying my crossed cutlasses, and threatened them all a little.  The madam didn’t budge, but I had to duel a couple of guards.
Fed up that, I opened some of the sauerkraut I had gotten and threw the can at the restrained ponies.  They recoiled from the stuff so hard that the chains and whatnot broke.  After disengaging from the battle, I followed them back to the ship.
“Jeeze, is it that hard to stay out of trouble without me around?” I asked.
They all gave me dirty looks.  Twilight said, “We usually get into more trouble with you.”
“Well, I guess there’s a first time for everything.  Wow, working in a harem.  Princess Celestia will be so proud.”
Twilight rolled her eyes.  “Just sail.”