//------------------------------// // Chapter 22 // Story: The Jerk // by Perception Filter //------------------------------// The Jerk Chapter 22 “I heard your little explanation there.” Doctor Whooves said, keeping a glare well seen on his face. “Yeah, what about it?” I asked innocently, cocking my head to the side. “It would be a shame if that information were to get out.” He smirked a little. “Now, you are going to—” “No.” I said firmly, interrupting his request. “This is what’s going to happen. First off, I’m going to kick your ass. Next, you’re going to tell me where the hell the doc’ is, then, I’m going to kick your ass some more.” He laughed cockily, gently pounding his hoof on the ground. “What’s so funny?” I asked, raising an eyebrow at him. “O-oh it’s nothing... You know, just the fact that you think you can kill me, I find it very amusing.” He smiled evilly. “Oh-ho! But I can good sir. Normally, you’d be dead by now, but I still need to know where doc’ is. So, how bout you tell me so your death will be relatively painless.” I cracked my knuckles and shook my hands. “What? Him?” He laughed again, that annoying throaty laugh that sounded nothing like the doctor, “He’s currently “Incapacitated” at the moment. Why don’t you just talk with me for a while?” I dropped my smile instantly. “Tell me where he is. Last chance.” I shot a glare at him, threatening his life with my stare. The way he didn’t react at all disconcerted me. He had a trick up his sleeve. Chuckling again, he said very slowly, in a taunting kind of way. “Make me.” His body flashed with green fire and a lone Changeling stood in my way. My eyes narrowed. “You asked for it buddy.” Instead of charging him right away, I drew my pistol and shot him once in the head. The results were nothing short of spectacular, and I mean it. The bullet entered right between his eyes, and that was pure luck I assure you, and opened a large cavity in the back of his head, spewing green blood, black carapace, and some weird blue matter I assumed was his brain. All in all, he was dead in less than a second, brain matter painting the floor. “JOHN!” Shouted Luna as I calmly walked over to the splattered mess and began to search his body for anything of value. “Yeah?” I asked, biting my tongue as I stuck an arm through a pile of goo on the floor. “Why’d you kill him?!” She shouted at me, throwing her hooves in the air, “He’s the only one who knows where the doctor is!” “Well yes, but he’s probably just cocooned in his room. This is a new imposter.” I got up and flicked my arms a couple times, getting rid of the green blood. “I can tell because he was being a dumbass. Small things, like trying to stand up to me, or the fact that I KNOW HE’S BACKED UP BY THE CHANGELINGS BEHIND THE BAR OVER THERE!” I shouted the last part with a cupped hand and nothing happened. No movement. Luna shook her head. “John, stop being ridiculous, we need to find—” I held up a finger and shushed her. “Shut up for a sec.” She glared at me, but fell silent. “Where are you?” I asked under my breath, scanning the room silently. Still nothing. “John, please we have to—” Said Luna, trying to talk again. “Shut up!” I hissed at her, looking around the room again. “Come out.” I said, eyes darting everywhere. Nothing happened. “I said, come out.” There was a small clatter coming from down the hall and I spun around, facing a dark hallway. “Gotcha.” I whispered and started advancing down the black hallway with no light whatsoever. “Stay here.” I said to the three, briefly turning around. ~~~~~ It had been five minutes since John had went down the hallway, no armor, and almost no weapons, and still nothing had happened. No noise, no light, no nothing. “Should we go after him?” Luna asked quietly, looking at Celestia and Discord, who were playing a small card game. “Nah, he’ll be fine.” Discord waved a nonchalant hand, not taking his eyes off of his cards. “Let him die. He tried to kill me.” Was Celestia’s response, and Discord gave her a skeptical look. “You really want him to die?” He asked with an unamused expression. “Well... Not really, but he tried to strangle me!” She protested, cards slipping slightly and Discord tried to peek at them. “Ah! Discord!” She slapped him, and he recoiled. “What?” Asked the Draconequus, shrugging his shoulders. “You tried to peek at my cards!” She glared at him. “I did no such thing!” “Yes you di—” “Both of you two knock it off.” Luna whispered furiously, “I think I hear something.” The other two dropped their cards immediately and they flashed out of existence as the pair rushed over to the dark hallway. There was the faint sound of clapping. They quickly scuffled closer, to hear a voice. It sounded like John’s but they couldn’t tell for sure, nor could they hear it. The voice stopped and another started. Silence. Without warning, there was an abrupt and loud scream, hitting their ears with tremendous force, making them wince in discomfort and yank their heads back in shock. Then, it was over as abruptly as it began. Luna shook her head and rubbed her ear, first to respond. “I’m going in, I don’t care what John said, he might be in trouble!” She looked at the two, and they nodded their consent. Luna took off like a shot, and bumped into something large and heavy, stopping her run at once. She looked up to see John standing there with his stealth armor on, face mask open. “Hey Luna, what’s up?” He asked, looking down on the slightly smaller pony. “O-oh! John, I thought you were in trouble!” She blushed. “Nope. Oh yeah, I got the doc’.” He turned and outstretched an arm, showing a perfectly fine Doctor Whooves, save for the fact that he was covered in green transparent slime. “Oh doctor! Are you okay?” Asked Luna as she rushed over to him, grabbing him in worry. “Yes yes, princess.” He said, in a clearly annoyed tone. “Can you put me down?” He asked as she hugged him tighter. Luna blushed and dropped him, backing away. “S-sorry. I was worried for your health.” She backed away nervously. “Well princess I can assure you I am quite healthy, John here saved me from that nasty cocoon. It was horrible in there, couldn’t breathe,” He shuddered, “Ugh... Anyways, John took care of everything.” “Well then.” Luna said with a smile. “It’s time to root out the rest of the Changelings.” “Yeah, let’s do that.” John said, smiling. He looked over at Celestia and Discord, who were giving him skeptical looks. “You two okay?” He asked. “John, when did you put on your armor?” Asked Celestia, looking him up and down quizzically. ~~~~~ I awoke with a start, coughing and sputtering, to find myself in some sort of green cocoon. It was also filled to the brim with green goo, not unlike that of the Changelings blood. Still coughing as my lungs attempted to purge the liquid from my body, I inhaled again only to take in more of the green crap. Thinking quickly, I tried to throw a punch towards the soft fleshy material holding me in, only to find the liquid extraordinarily viscous... You seriously don’t know what that means? Dear god humanity is doomed. Anyways, back to the story. So after I found out I couldn’t punch it down, I tried clawing at it. Surprisingly, it worked, and the thing ripped open, the greenish fluid pouring out faster than it should’ve been with how thick it was. I quickly shoved through the hole, coughing up the green fluid in my lungs. I spent the better part of three minutes coughing, and the fluid just seemed to pour, neverending, out of my mouth. Finally, I was able to inhale a full breath, lungs free of all things horrid and it was the best breath of air I’d ever tasted. I looked up to find myself in a cave, barely lit by other glowing green pods, some of which were occupied, surprisingly, by other humans. I saw some familiar uniforms, like those of the Rivet City guards, some wearing uniforms of the Enclave. I looked about the cave-room in worry. There were only a few of the pods, and the room looked enclosed. No doors or obvious exits. I got up and walked among the pods, inspecting their occupants. One of them even had a Little Lamplighter in it. These little bastards weren’t just kids though, they are some of the toughest bastards out there. Really? You’re asking me how tough kids can be... Wow man.... Kids can be some tough motherfuckers... Yes, believe it or not, I saw one of them kill a super mutant. Yeah, believe it man. Anyways, upon closer inspection of the kid inside I found it to be Mayor Maccready. I was about to reach up and tear open the then layer of skin on the cocoon when I noticed my Pip-Boy flashing again. I groaned, facepalmed, and then brought it up to observe what had happened to me this time. Podded: You have spent a short amount of time in a Changeling conversion pod, and now some of your precious DNA has been replaced with that of a Changeling drone! Your skin is now tougher and denser, making it harder to pierce, granting you slight resistance against non-energy based weapons, and Changeling senses now perceive you as a fellow changeling, allowing you to sneak around them easier. {+15 Speech/Barter when talking to Changelings. +5 DT/DR against Melee and Guns. -2 PER for Changelings around you when you are in sneak.} “Oh well that’s fucking peachy!” I yelled to no one in particular, smacking my Pip-Boy. “How the fuck does my Pip-Boy even know what a Changeling is?!” “Jesus.” “I muttered, before shaking my head and ripping a hole in the Changeling pod, the liquid spilling out all over the floor before the kid fell out and I caught him. Gently setting him on the ground, I got up and started walking around the room, looking for a way out. As far as I could tell though, the walls were solid rock. Probably something to do with magic, and I would have to wait for them to come to us. I glanced at Macready again, and saw no change in his condition. I sighed deeply, and rubbed my face, taking deep breaths. I busied myself looking at the others in the pods, checking their occupants. I passed the ones with the Enclave inside, and freed the ones I knew. A few Brotherhood troops, none I knew personally, the Rivet City guard. Truth be told, most of them were just raiders or scavengers. Not knowing the difference, I left them be. I sat there for a while, nothing happening. No sound, save for the ragged breathing of those around me. After about an hour, according to my Pip-Boy, I heard a deep coughing and I looked up to see Macready sitting up and coughing his lungs out. I got up and hurried over to the kid and sat next to him while he choked on the nasty green fluids. “It’s okay man, just get that shit outta you.” I patted his back and he reacted instantly, grabbing my hand and twisting it behind my back and shoving me to the floor... Stop laughing, you haven't met the kid. As I was saying... He pushed me to the ground, holding my arm behind my back and was about to do... Something, before he gasped in shock. “Mungo? What the fuck are you doing here?” He asked, getting off my back and letting me up. “Nice to see you too.” I said, getting up and rubbing my arm, and glaring at him. “Hey Mungo, I asked you a question. What the fuck are you doing here?” He demanded. “I don’t have to listen to a little asshole whose face looks like my butt.” I remarked, dusting myself off and glaring at him. He glared back. Eventually, Macready broke first and he started chuckling. “Heh, you’re not so bad for a Mungo.” He said, looking around the room. “You know where we are?” He asked. “Nope, but we’ve been abducted by the Changelings. I don’t think there is a way out of this room.” “Is that what those bug things are called?” He asked in disgust. “Yeah, I take it you’ve had a run in with them?” “Yeah, they caught me off guard and knocked me out.” “How did you get here?” I asked him, glancing around the room again, ensuring that the others were still unconscious. “I was out scavenging with a group of Lamplighters and I came across this robot building. We went in, split up and killed a bunch of bugs and raiders, and I found a lone room. I went inside and activated a small terminal.” “Let me guess, you activated it, and a giant multi-colored swirling wall appeared out of nowhere. You touched it, and you woke up in a swamp?” “Yeah, spot on Mungo. That’s what happened to you?” “Yup... I don’t know what happened to the rest of these guys though.” I gestured to the rest of the ones in the room. “The Brotherhood and Enclave were probably searching for tech, but I have no idea why there’s a Rivet City guy here.” “Isn’t that the city on a boat on the far side of the wasteland?” “Yup... So, any ideas on what to do?” “Well we could find a way out of here. Dumb Mungo.” “Yeah, only one problem with that. There are no exits. What do you think I did for forty-five minutes while you slept on the filthy floor covered in green shit?” “So what? We’re just going to wait?” “That’s the plan.” He sighed in resignation. “I fucking hate you Mungo.”