//------------------------------// // I Wonder What's For DINNER... // Story: A Trio of Terribly Untimely Teleportations // by AkwardPlatypus //------------------------------// Gabe Newell, a large folder in hand, walks up to you.* "Hi. I'm Gabe Newell, with chapter, err..." Pinkie Pie speaks up from behind Gabe. "Six!" "Oh, uuuh, yeah, six. After several months in development, hopefully it will have been worth the wait. Thanks, and have fun!" After Pinkie Pie makes an obvious crack about Gabe Newell's weight, you open the folder. /\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\//\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\//\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\//\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\//\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/ Sweet Apple Acres, 11:45 PM /\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\//\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\//\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\//\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\//\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/ Applejack was escorting Steve back to her house. As they walked through the fields, conversing all the way, Applejack pieced together a plan to explain to Granny Smith and Big Mac about what happened, and why this strange cube-man was allowed to stay. "...Alright. Now, Steve. When I bring y' inside, try not t' look... Er... Threatenin'. In any way. If anyone in mah family takes this the wrong way, knowin' mah family, bad things 'll happen." "Am I really that scary?" He asked, looking at himself. "...Yer different. Put it that way. Ponies don't like different most 'f th' time." Steve merely grunted and looked forward. He thought to himself as he saw the endless rows of apple trees. As he began daydreaming about his beloved apples on his home planet, he was snapped out of his daze to be interrupted by Applejack. "Looky here. You tell me if those three come back, 'specially li'l Applebloom. If she ain't in be by the time I'm home, she's in fer a storm 'less she's up with Granny cookin' some--" Applejack was abruptly cut off by a loud bang, stumbled backwards, and held her ears in pain. Looking at the source, the strange object the RED colored thing was holding had landed in front of her. After a moment of recovery for her ears, she picked up her ruined hat and looked up at the sky in rage. "...Gah! Where th' hay did this thing come from?!" After rubbing his ears, Steve walked over to Applejack and pulled on her shoulder to face her. "Applejack, you alright?" "...Yea, I'm fine. M' ears aren't! Damnit, what is tha' thing?!" Steve cleaned out his ears. "Wasn't that skinny man holding that thing erlier?" "He sure was! 'N' he took it with 'em! How did it get from Rainbow's house t' HERE?!" Steve stood there, utterly confused. As Applejack stood up, she reached her left hoof up to adjust her hat. Her accidental facehoof made Applejack think something was amiss. Sure enough, when she looked up, all she could see was a few strands of her hair. She looked behind her to find her stetson peppered with holes. And for a minute, she stood there, mouth agape at her ruined hat. "...Applejack, you okay?" Steve said again, noting the depressing look on Applejack's face. Applejack said absolutely nothing. She even remained silent when her big brother galloped over and roared. Big Mac charged up to Steve, shoving his snout into his face without hesitation. "What's goin' on here?!" He said in a menacing tone. "What're you doin' 'ere, 'n' why's mah sister on th' ground?" He was without any recognisable fear, the only visible emotion being rage. "I-I-I can explain! It was some sort o--" "You got three seconds 'fore I buck you 'cross the field." "There's got to be some other--" "One." Steve, not wanting to see how much force those gigantic back legs had, darted off towards Ponyville, screaming like a little girl on the way. Big Mac reared up and looked at his sister whom was cradling her hat in her arms like a baby, tears in her face. "...Sis, wot happened?" "...M-Mah hat..." "We can worry 'bout yer durn hat later! Dinner's cookin' 'n' we got some sorta over-sized rabbit with no for on th' loose!" "...But, Mac, he's--" Before she could finish her sentence, Big Mac galloped off into the distance after the mysterious man. Applejack sighed, looked at her hat, and cried herself to sleep as the sun set. /\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\//\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\//\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\//\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/ Twilight Sparkle's Library, 12:03 AM /\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\//\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\//\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\//\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\//\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/ Twilight was hastily scribbling down notes as Rhonin talked. It clearly was not long after their arrival at the library that Twilight had found this peculiar being as more of an interest, a new opportunity, than a threat. "...I take it violence is strongly present in the world you came from?" "Very. It seems around every corner, someone powerful has gone mad, there's an army that wants to destroy us, or some god is considered a threat." "...Wait, let me make sure I'm hearing what I think I'm hearing. You people defy your very gods?" "Concerning they likely are corrupted and want to destroy us, yes. For instance, in the ancient titan city of Ulduar, the god of death, Yogg-Saron, escaped his bonds and corrupted many of the figures there. Many of which were titanic watchers, or "keepers"." "...Did... Did you succeed?" "Yes." "How? How could you kill a god?" "A combination of luck, elite mercenaries and fighters, and the help from the keepers themselves." "Didn't you say the keepers were corrupted?" "I did. We knocked some sense into them. Literally." Rhonin chuckled. "Wouldn't they kill you?" "Oh, believe me, they tried. However, we had impeccable tactics, hardy warriors, alert healers and casters, weapons and armor from master smiths, and fire burning in our hearts. We were well prepared, and maybe even over-prepared." "I'm still trying to fathom how fighting a god is at all possible. The ones that created you..." "Ahem. Let me correct you on that. The Maker created us, not the gods. The gods are merely powerful figures in my eyes." "...That makes a bit more sense, but..." Twilight rests her head for a moment, the quill falling down. "...This is alot to take in. To know that other... Universes exist, all with history as complex as Equestria's. I thought it was only in books." "I have a similar feeling. ...Say, didn't you mention a monarch earlier?" Rhonin sipped on a conjured drink; coffe. "Oh, yes. Monarchs, technically, now that Princess Luna is back. But yes, Princess Celestia and Princess Luna rule the land here. Me, being an element of harmony, have rather strong ties with--" She cut herself off, a sudden realization hitting her. "...Spike! Did you get a letter back from the Princess?" Spike waddled over to the balcony in a set of pajamas. He sniffled, wiped , and looked up at Twilight with red, puffy eyes. "...Huh?" "Did you get a letter back from the Princess? As a response to the letter we sent?" "...Uh, no, I haven't." "But she always replies to my letters!" Spike gave a nasally reply. "She's probably just busy, Twilight. I can't imagine how many things she has to do in a day." "Spike! When hasn't she ever replied to a letter of mine?" "No idea. Can I go back to sleep now?" "No! Spike! We need to find out what's wrong!" "Ugh, Twilight... No. You always jump to conclusions. There's nothing wrong. This dude seems cool, right?" "HE is! From what I hear, others may not be!" Spike merely grumbled and walked back to his bed. "Spike! We have to send a letter! Get back here! Spike!!" Rhonin finally spoke up. "...Er, Twilight?" "...Yeah?" "I could probably attempt to make a portal to Canterlot." "Oh, yes, you have... You have magic, yes. Speaking of which, I would love to learn how to open a portal anyone can go through. I mean, teleporting is convenient for me, but my friends still have to ride a chariot or fly or something, and I kind of feel ba--" "Gah! Concentrating here!" Rhonin roared impatiently, casting a spell. Twilight waved a hoof as an apology and watched silently as Rhonin finished casting. As his hands hurled a ball to where he was placing the portal, the glowing blue ball curved upwards and headed out the window. Twilight scrambled to look out the window. Rhonin, utterly confused, started casting again. Not long after was an explosion heard, interrupting Rhonin's cast. "What the fel was that?" "I-I don't know. I think that rift sucked your spell up!" "...Oh, great." /\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\//\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\ Southern Teufort, 5:33 PM /\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\//\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\//\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\//\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\//\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/ The Medic and the Sniper walked through the halls deep within the Teufort base. They were headed towards the Engineer's "Shop of Horrors", where he built his deadly and fearsome machines. As they arrived, the Medic opened the door and pulled the unwilling Sniper inside before closing the door behind him. As they approached their comrade, the Engineer took off his welding mask to greet the two. "Howdy, doc. 'Ey, sliver." "Hello, comrade." "...Sliver?" The Sniper said, irritated. "Yeah, y' get under m' skin real easy." The Engineer chuckled. The Sniper tipped his hat over his eyes in anger. After stifling a chuckle, the Medic went on. "Engineer, ve need to use zhour teleporter." "What for?" "Ve need to go after Scout. Ze mission is fruitless visout zat boy. He is ze only vone who can dodge bullets well! Sure, my medigun heals ze heavy enough, but not nearly enough to compensate for ze rockets, bullets, grenades, flames, kinves, and ozer stuff he is taking." "...Uh, you sayin' you wanna send yerself off int'... Wherever the hell that thing takes ye?" "If it vill get us Scout back..." "Doc, you don't understand. Yer our most valuable member on the team, in all honesty, 'n' we need you here with us. That, 'n' we ain't got no clue where that damn thing will take you." "I know vhere ve vill be if ve don't go." "'N' where's that?" The sniper tipped up his hat an inch and spoke up. "Hell, y' stupid mongrel. We'll all die if they get our intelligence. We got three damn options, Engie. Either burn the intelligence, let them kill us, or let Doc 'ere do THIS." "Ahem, I believe zhou are coming vis me?" "This is volunteer work." "Well, heh, no, et's not. Remember who healed you zat time zhou took that rocket to the torso? Ya. You're coming vis me." The Sniper grumbled something about the Medic being a woman, and put up no actual argument. Engie sighed, and pulled out two toolboxes. "If y' really wanna, here y' go. Just... Stay safe, Doc." "I plan to..." Medic said as he deployed the teleporters. He got the Sniper in the headlock and, after it was fully erect, stepped onto the entrance. "How're you going to--" "Auf Wiedersehen!" The medic said as he jammed the teleporter exit with a syringe at the last second. Little did he know that the Sniper had somehow grabbed onto the Engineer... All three were sent to somewhere unknown. /\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\//\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\//\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\//\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\//\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/ Canterlot, 1:03 AM /\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\//\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\//\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\//\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\//\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/ A masked man in an blue asbestos-lined suit walks along the multi-color roads (singed carpets) of the magical palace (burning castle), observing his handiwork. He chuckled delightfully (devilishly) as he saw the joy (destruction) he caused. As he was walking, he heard panicked hoofsteps in the distance. He thought he had shooed off all of the small horses here with his device that cascades his friends with sunshine and rainbows (Scorching flames). Soon after, he heard the clinking of metal hitting the floor, and walked over to investigate. He found a golden tiara, bent slightly on one of the edges. He recognised it; it was on that one pony he saw a few minutes ago chasing everyone else away from the city. But why? She must be mean, wanting all the rainbows to herself... She won't get any then! he thought. Pyro walked outside of the castle, looking at anything else he could decorate. He thought he had already colored the entire city, but he wanted to double check. As he walked by, some baby ponies (Burning royal guards) were walking (crawling) away from Pyro. He decided to give them another poof of rainbows as he walked by, and listen to their delightful giggles... He kept walking. As he did, he tried to remember what his friends sent him here to do. Something about finding the demoman...? Yes, yes, that was it. Now, if you were a demoman, where would you be... Pyro was stumped on this one. He merely decided to go wherever any settlements were and ask around. He knew he had to go away from this city, due to everyone taking a nap after partying so hard, as they always do. He set out and wandered wherever he pleased. Everntually, he found what looked like a train station. The signs read "Mmmph", "Mmmph", and "Hudda". He decided to go to "Hudda", and waited for the train. /\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\//\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\//\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\//\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\//\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/ Twilight Sparkle's Library, 12:17 AM /\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\//\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\//\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\//\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\//\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/ Twilight heard bodies tumble outside. She, in a mix of panic, annoyance, and frustration, galloped outside. "Stay here! I'll deal with these guys." She said as she slammed the door behind her. She walked up to find two hatted men. "...There's MORE of you?" She screamed. The man with the yellow hat sat on the ground, cradling his knee. His leg looked rather limp. "...Gah, doc! ...Doc?" The other man, a bit taller, stood up and looked at the source of the voice. "...Bloody hell, I don't know what--" He stopped in his tracks as he saw what was in front of him. "You don't know where you came from, do you? Great. Well, let's get introductions out of the way. My name is Twilight Spar-- EEP!" The Sniper quickly picked her up and squeezed her. "I gotta be dreamin'! There's no way!" He said. The Engineer, still clutching onto his broken knee, looked up. "...Sniper, you alright?" Twilight squirmed to get out of the horrible-smelling man's grasp. "Wh-who--What--?!" "Twilight Sparkle... I can't believe it! I'm a huge fan! Y' 'ave no idea, lass!" Both Twilight and the Engineer looked at Sniper as he loosened his hug on Twilight, and let her plop to the ground. "Sniper, what the hell y'all talkin' 'bout? You know these people?" Sniper blushed. He never got around to telling his teammates... "I don't know him! I don't know how he knows me!" "...Err, Engi?" "Yeah?" "Y' know that... Thing you found... Under my bed one night?" "...Yeah?" He said, trying his best not to laugh. "...That wasn't the Heavy's..." The Engineer burst out laughing. Twilight looked at the two with shock on her face. "Can SOMEONE explain?!" "...Look, lass, back where we're from, you... You're in a..." "Yer in a durn TV show fer little girls." The Engineer barely managed to say through his laughs. "...A what? 'TV show'?" "It's, er... It's a, um... How do we... Put this fer... Ponies?' "It's like a theater. Only in a box. And you control what play is on, to a certain extent." "So you're saying I'm an actor?" "T' a certain extent, Twi, yeah." Pinkie Pie jumps out of the bushes. "Haven't I explained this to you, Twilight?" Sniper bursts out laughing. Engineer and Twilight both look confused, but Pinkie Pie smiles, knowing what he was laughing at. "You see, Twilight, we're in a show. For little gir--fillies. On a planet called Earth, far, far away." Twilight, remaining skeptical at Pinkie Pie (As she almost always was), merely nodded. "Uh-huh." "And a lot of people watch us and our adventures and stuff!" "Uh-huh..." "There's also a few other things, like games and stuff, where THESE guys come from!" She directed to the two in front of her and at Rhonin, who was sitting in the library. "...Uhhh..." "And, since THIS game" She pointed at Engineer and Sniper "takes place on Earth, we're technically known by them!" "...U--" "And then some weird guy I know about on Earth who eats WAAAAAAAAY too much sugar named Walter thinks it funny to mash all of us together in a story and then publish it for his reading friends to read!" With everyone's minds successfully blown to smithereens by the pink pony's lecture, she trots off happily into the night. After a long few minutes of mumbling and utter confusion, Twilight tells the two men to come inside for the night. /\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\//\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\//\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\//\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\//\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/ Outside Ponyville, 12:20 AM /\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\//\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\//\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\//\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\//\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/ Steve sprinted for his life. He could see the giant red tank-of-a-stallion chasing after him. As he ran, he tried to think of how he could trick him to get him off of his tail; he knew he clearly couldn't outrun him, much less upright fight him. After a lightbulb went off in his head, he picked up a rather large rock off of the ground. He threw it over his shoulder. The loud smack heard afterwards confirmed he had hit his target. Having faith Big Mac was dazed for a moment, he didn't look back and hid behind a tree. He started digging. He noticed that although he couldn't store the dirt somewhere (Much less keep it in cubes), he could still dig quite fast with his hands alone. After successfully covering up the hole, he sat in the fetal position and prayed that he would not be found. After several minutes, he let out a sigh of relief. Nobody was after him. He pulled out his pickaxe and started digging straight forward. He would dig back up to the surface soon. As he dug, he noticed just how free digging like this was. He could get off track really easy, he thought, and double-checked himself now and then. After digging a reasonable distance (And finding a small chunk of iron on the way), he started digging upwards. After finally reaching dirt, he put his pickaxe aside and used his hands. He would stub his... Stub moments later, to find a rectangular slab of concrete. Steve was -really- confused now. Where was he? What did he just do? Was he back in his world? He had no idea, but his digging pattern suggested not. He grabbed his pick regardless and dug through it. After a few hits, he strikes wood. After a quick though about a forest he saw in the distance, he makes assumptions and keeps hitting. He's cut off by a chime from above him. "Oh, no need to knock! Come in!" Came a ladylike voice. Ohhhhh, brilliant. He was wrecking someone's floor. In panic, he receded back into his hole. He hears the woman (Or mare, he thought) say something about her floor, and yells at what he assumed was a sibling. It was very muffled, and hardly distinguishable by accent. Suddenly, a light creak is heard. "What in Tartarus?! Sweetie Belle, why didn't you return Applebloom's shovel?!" He heard her yell. "But I did! Ask Applebloom!" "Then why, pray tell, is there a gigantic hole beneath my floorboards? "...Huh?!" Rarity, after making sure the small opening was free of dirt and other filth, peeped in. She saw what she thought was a very cubic blue rock and a pickaxe. "...What in Equestira's name have you been doing? What is that?" Sweetie Belle shrugs. "Well, go down there and get it for me!" Uh-oh. Steve, knowing if he made a substantial amount of noise, would be caught. Running away wasn't an option. But, what if he-- He was cut off by a scream. Sweetie Belle, her head now inside the hole, spotted Steve and shrieked in fear. "Rarity! Rarity! What's that thing?!" Steve stood in the cave paralyzed. What if that red thing was up there? What if it wasn't the red thing, but they were as aggressive? But not moments later did he find himself being stared at by a white pony with a notably glamorous mane. Rarity, with a mix of disgust, fear, interest, and anger, stood with her mouth agape. Steve thinks he should at least try to defend himself. "...Look, sorry, I was digging away from--" "Why are you breaking into Carousel Boutique?!" "...Wha--" "Explain yourself! Quickly! I don't like standing down here!" "I-I was just digging away from a big red thing that was trying to kick me! I dug this way and I think your stuff was righ--" He was cut off by Rarity jumping over and grabbing his pickaxe. "...Is this...?" "...That's my pickaxe I dug with!" "...It's... It's beautifully crafted..." "...Well, tha--" "And you used it for DIGGING?!" "Well, I--" "One should not use a valuable commodity such as diamonds to do such primitive tasks! Stupid, stupid, stupid!" Rarity picked up the pick and thwaped his shin. He stood on one leg and held his other. "By the Aether, I'm sorry! I had nothing else that would do the job as well!" "...What are you, anyway?" She seemed to have calmed down a bit, but not much. "...It's a long story." "Oh, don't give me that!" Steve sighed. he decided to get this over quick. "Okay then. I'm from an entirely different universe. I got pulled over here because I was going to the Nether to get some netherrack for my fireplace. Suddenly, when I was going back through the portal, I was shot by a ghast which closed the portal, sent me in-between universes, into a rift that led to here, and I faceplanted in front of your orange friend's house and was almost killed right away by a madman with a gun and another madman with a fireball." "...What...?" "Ask your purple friend, Twilight, later. But for now, I need to hide before I'm killed by a giant red man-pony who evidently thinks I'm hostile." "...Oh Celestia, Big Mac is after you?" "Yes. Please, I beg of you, let me stay here before I die." "I would never condemn anyone to such a fate. Not even Sweetie belle after I found out she stole my diary. ...Well, maybe then. But other than that, no." "So, that's a yes?" "Yes." "Okay. Are you going to kill me?" "Depends. How many diamonds went to waste into making this pick?" "Not many." "And that is...?" "Three of my two-hundred and fifty or so." Rarity blinked. "...And where did you get these?" "Caves?" After looking at the pickaxe again, she facehoofed. Of course he was a miner, with his filth-covered self and his apparel. "Ah, yes. Well then, if you wouldn't mind, please go straight to the bathroom and wash yourself off. I don't want dirt in my boutique." /\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\//\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\//\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\//\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\//\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/ Somewhere... /\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\//\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\//\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\//\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\//\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/ The Medic, after somehow being separated from his comrades, lands roughly. After gaining total consciousness, he stands up and looks around. He sees the cobblestone beneath him... Old buildings like what seem like a city... Some very hairy men walk by... Eventually, a man in red leather and chain-mail armor walks up to the Medic, a sword drawn. "By the order of the Jarl, stop right there!" "...Ohh, what ze fuck..." /\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\//\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\//\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\//\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\//\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/ Hory shet, long chapter. Not to mention I finished it before it was destroyed again! Yay! Criticize me in the comments so I can do better at entertaining you! Hate mail is to go to my inbox. Don't hate me...