It has been stated many times that those in the most stressful professions have the darkest senses of humor, and that it is a necessity in the face of what would otherwise reduce a pony to a whimpering wreck. Given the martial nature of the Celestine Junta and the constant watch for enemies, it stands to reason that the Pegasi of Pre-Unification Equestria would have the darkest humor of the day, a fact that is shown in full in their marching songs, of which Blood Upon the Aerials is the most well known and most intact. We even know of its tune and the story of its creation. Such as how this song is not its original form. Rather, it is in fact a parody of another called Battle Hymn of the Junta, whose lyrics are sadly lost to history.
For another, it is strongly believed that Blood was written by none other than Private Pansy, written as an amusement for her fellow soldiers, and tells the story of a young trooper in training who suffers a wing cramp and dies while on a mission to manage a wild storm. The lyrics are of vital interest to historians due to the little details they reveal of everyday pegasi soldier life. Such details include the widespread usage of potassium consumption amongst soldiers, most likely in the form of bananas (potassium being an important mineral for muscle movement, and a deficiency can lead to muscle cramps) and suggests that death by falling may have been more common amongst pegasi than one would assume to a modern observer. This factor is likely due to the vastly improved diet of modern pegasi than their segregated ancestors.
While the song is quite distasteful to modern ears, it is still sung in good humor by such groups as the Extreme Weather teams of Stalliongrad and the Wonderbolts, especially the teams that deal with emergency situations. Furthermore, respect is due to this piece, as it is marching songs like it that help sparke the Winter War Armistace.
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She was just a rookie trooper and she surely shook with fright
She checked off her equipment and made sure her straps were tight
She had to sit and listen to those awful storm clouds roar,
You ain't gonna soar no more.
CHORUS:
Gory, Gory, What a Helluva way to die
Gory, Gory, What a Helluva way to die
Gory, Gory, What a Helluva way to die
She ain’t gonna soar no more.
"Is everypony happy?" cried the Sergeant, looking up.
Our hero feebly answered "yes," and then they stood her up.
She jumped right out into the blast, her ‘tassium unmunched.
And she ain’t gonna jump no more.
CHORUS:
Gory, Gory, What a Helluva way to die
Gory, Gory, What a Helluva way to die
Gory, Gory, What a Helluva way to die
She ain’t gonna soar no more.
She flew out, she flew hard, the turb’lence was like a ramp;
She felt the wind, she felt the cold, she felt her wing cramp;
She jerked around, she pulled the limb, she went into a spir’l.
And she ain’t gonna soar no more.
CHORUS:
Gory, Gory, What a Helluva way to die
Gory, Gory, What a Helluva way to die
Gory, Gory, What a Helluva way to die
She ain’t gonna soar no more.
The aerials wrapped around her neck, connectors cracked her dome;
The armor creaked and pulled the knots, and crushed her skinny bones;
Her other wing became her shroud, she hurtled to the ground.
And she ain’t gonna soar no more.
CHORUS:
Gory, Gory, What a Helluva way to die
Gory, Gory, What a Helluva way to die
Gory, Gory, What a Helluva way to die
She ain’t gonna soar no more.
The days she’d lived and loved and laughed kept running through her mind;
She thought about the stallion back home, the one she left behind;
She thought about the medic-oes and wondered what they’d find.
And she ain’t gonna soar no more.
CHORUS:
Gory, Gory, What a Helluva way to die
Gory, Gory, What a Helluva way to die
Gory, Gory, What a Helluva way to die
She ain’t gonna soar no more.
The ambulance was on the spot, the advisors running wild;
The medics jumped and screamed with glee, they prepped their bags and smiled;
For it had been a week or more since last a trooper fell.
And she ain’t gonna soar no more.
CHORUS:
Gory, Gory, What a Helluva way to die
Gory, Gory, What a Helluva way to die
Gory, Gory, What a Helluva way to die
She ain’t gonna soar no more.
She hit the ground, the sound was splat, her blood went spurting high;
Her comrades were then heard to say, "A helluva way to die";
She lay there rolling ‘round in the welter of her gore.
And she ain’t gonna soar no more.
CHORUS:
Gory, Gory, What a Helluva way to die
Gory, Gory, What a Helluva way to die
Gory, Gory, What a Helluva way to die
She ain’t gonna soar no more.
There was blood upon the aerials, there were brains upon the helm;
Intestines were a-dangling from her Lighteningtrooper suit;
She was a mess, they picked her up and poured her from her boots.
And she ain’t gonna soar no more.
CHORUS:
Gory, Gory, What a Helluva way to die
Gory, Gory, What a Helluva way to die
Gory, Gory, What a Helluva way to die
She ain’t gonna soar no more.