//------------------------------// // Chapter 2: A Rude Awakening // Story: Duality // by MrPockets //------------------------------// Chapter 2: A Rude Awakening “Dreams, if they’re any good, are always a little bit crazy.”-Ray Charles Once I stopped cursing, I began writing down everything that had happened in the dream, mentally kicking myself for waking up. It was the first sign of progress in a long time, and more importantly, I had been a pony, and now that was gone. “I can’t believe I let that glorified rabbit fall on me! Just when I was being all super-hero and shit.” I finished writing up my epic dream (cursing rabbits, deer and bears profusely) then closed my eyes and attempted to re-enter the awesome dream. I tried for several hours, but to my dismay, I could not recapture the epic pony-ness I had briefly experienced. Oh well I thought, too tired to say it out loud, it was fun while it lasted. I only wish I had been able to meet one of the mane six... It wasn't long before I fell asleep, having no dreams for the first time in many weeks. I woke up around noon the next day, still mad about being crushed by the Jackalope. I went down to my kitchen for some breakfast (is it still breakfast if it’s after noon? Meh, fuck it) to find my roommate Dan doing the same. “What’s the word, turd?” He asked as I stepped in, not looking up from the mangled omelette he was wolfing down. Dan is very much into MMA, and a skilled kick-boxer. This meant he ate a lot of protein, and why his 'omelette' looked to be made of at least 10 eggs. He could punch through a wall, but cooking was something he never could master. “Nothing much dick-face, besides the fact that I had a lucid dream last night.” I said proudly. He stopped eating and looked up at me. “Are you still going on about that dream shit?” He shook his head, “What the fuck is a lucid dream anyway?” The exchange may seem a bit... crude, but that's just how we got along. My insults meant nothing to Dan, since there was no question who would win any fight that didn't involve words. As usual, I ignored his failure to comprehend and explained my dream, making sure to leave out any pony-related stuff (I do this often with Dan and other non-brony friends.) “So... you wake up in this field, find a passed out drunk chick, then fight a rabbit with antlers?” He asked once I had finished my pony-free recap. “It was a Jackalope, and it was more like a bear than a rabbit, but yes.” I replied. Dan considered this for a moment, making a face that almost made it look like he was thinking, “What’s so great about that? I fight stuff all the time in my dreams and I don’t waste all my life ‘researching’ like you do.” He said, missing the entire point. “I was aware I was dreaming, ass-hole! I was making conscious decisions!” He shook his head, finishing his meal. “Whatever man, sounds like you need to get out more. Come to The Fox with us tonight, have a few beers, maybe meet some real drunk chicks. Ones with, you know, low standards.” I sighed. We’ve had similar conversations before, and since I didn’t have any excuses not to go, I knew it would be easier if I just agreed to go have a few pints. See! I’m not a hermit. Maybe and alcoholic though... “Great, be there at 8. And try not to dress like a nerd.” Dan said, standing up. “Only if you try not to dress like a douchebag.” “Bite me.” He said as he left. “Funny, that’s what you mom always asks me to do.” He flipped me the bird from the other room. Pretty routine conversation ender. As the day went on, I couldn’t help but think about the dream, mostly with regret. I thought about my short conversation with Berry Punch, trying to think up a back story after it was too late to do anything about it. I should have told her I was lost, or that I had amnesia! No, then there’s the question of my worried family and she would probably try to help me get home. I thought about it all day, still unable to come up with a cool pony name for myself. Before I knew it, dinner time rolled around and I got ready to head over to The Fox. It was busy, as per usual on a Saturday night. I found Dan and few of his other friends in a booth at the back. They were alright, as far as douchey weightlifters go. They had started drinking without me, Dan himself appeared to be on his 5th beer and well on his way to becoming a drunken idiot. “Jon! Get your ass a beer and have a seat!” He shouted. I did, wondering how I’d be able to sit if my ass had a beer. He put his arm around me as I sat, leaning in close so I could smell the tequila on his breath. “Hey guy, you shuld talk to that girl at the b…bar there.” He slurred, pointing towards the bar area (and the floor/ceiling/waiter) A thin blonde woman was sitting there alone, playing on her phone. She was cute, which meant she was out of my league. “What? I just got here and you’re already trying to embarrass me.” I said, talking a large sip of beer. It was going to be one of those nights; where Dan tries to set me up. Fucking great. “Do it. Trusht me. Just…don’t talk about jackanapes.” He said, all but shoving me out of the booth, to the amusement of the rest of the table. Let’s just get this over with I thought, drinking as much as I could as I crossed the short distance. She was sitting at the bar, sipping on a pina colada. I thought of Berry Punch and her sister who I never got to meet, then pushed them out of my head. Got to be an adult here, may as well try to get turned down with dignity. Steeling myself, I sat down on the empty stool beside her. “Umm... hey there…” I said, my neck suddenly very itchy. I hate trying to start conversation, not just with women, but with anyone, even over the phone. She looked at me and smiled a little, “Hi... umm... do I know you?” Wow, off to a great start here. “Umm no, I was just…at that table over there and I thought I’d come say…hey there.” I managed to reply while images of a certain socially awkward penguin danced (badly) in my head. “Oh.” She replied, “I’m Sandra.” She held out a hand and I shook it. Sandra, she had really nice eyes! Kinda of a mix between green and brown, hazel, I think that's called. She was looking right at me... waiting for something... And then I realized it was the second time in 24 hours I had failed to introduce myself. I apologized awkwardly and gave my boring human name. We sat in silence a few seconds, then both took a drink. I'm... I'm the worst player ever. Stupid Dan.... The silence was suddenly broken when Sandra's phone went off. “Oh, that's me. Do you mind if I take this? Could be work related.” “Of course not.” I said, getting ready to leave when it turned out to be an important call or something. What can I say, I’m Mr. Optimism. Sandra pulled her iphone out of her purse and my eyes widened. I looked back at Dan, he was staring at me with his drink raised, mouthing the words you’re welcome. Her phone had a cyan blue case with a cloud and a red, blue and yellow lightning bolt. Rainbow Dash’s cutie mark. She was a pegasister. Dear lord, they do exist. To my further surprise, she placed the phone back into her purse after reading the message. “Sorry about that.” She said looking back at me. “Oh…no worries…” I said, carefully choosing my next words, “Say, I couldn’t help but notice your… phone case.” I began, taking the opportunity to actually talk about something. She smiled slowly, raising a fist and extending it my way. “…Brohoof?” I couldn’t help but smile as I returned the ponified fist bump. Not only had I met another fan of My Little Pony, I had met one who had a vagina! (And was legal, you pervert) We spent the next little while talking about our favorite parts of the show, reciting quotes and laughing like idiots over drinks. All the initial awkwardness was gone, so I was able to build up enough courage to ask about her. I learned she was a graphic design student with an arts background. She asked about me, so I told her about my low-level production job and eventually brought up my obsessions with dreams. “Wow, so you are actually trying to learn to lucid dream?” She asked. We had been drinking the whole time and I was totally at ease, but I decided not to tell her the details about the pony dream. She may have been a fan, but she was also a female, I wasn’t sure how she would react. Instead I said “Yes, I’m very close too, but I usually wake up as soon as I realize I’m dreaming.” Sandra thought about that for a moment and replied “That’s pretty cool.” I think I’m in love. “But aren’t you afraid you’ll lose contact with real life in the dream?” Good question, she’s a pretty smart cookie (or she’s seen Inception too many times) To be honest, I have thought about that, but considering how uneventful my life is, I was never really concerned. That wasn’t the answer I gave though, “Well, dreams are a part of life. They’re your subconscious’ take on what you experience when awake.” “But if you can control the dreams, doesn’t that defeat the purpose?” She retorted. I tried to think of a good answer, then realized I was too drunk to be having this sort of conversation. “I am too drunk to be having this sort of conversation.” I said. We both laughed in agreement. “You’re lucky I’m drunk too.” She said, digging into her purse once again. “Oh? And why is that?” I asked hopefully. Could it be? Am I about to pick up a chick from a bar? Well, no, but the next best thing. “Because I usually don’t give out my number to guys I just met.” She said, handing me a piece of paper with 10 glorious numbers written on it. I stared at the paper in awe for a second before attempting to regain my (mostly imagined) cool, “Sure, blame the alcohol, not my smooth moves.” I said with a grin. “You keep telling yourself that.” Sandra replied, standing up to leave, “Sorry to dash (oooooh I see what you did there) but I should probably pay for this drink and go.” I decided to continue being Mr. Smooth and offered to pay for her. My job may be boring as hell, but it covers the tab. “Wow, what a gentlecolt.” She smiled again as I grinned like an idiot. “Thanks for the night cap, call me maybe?” We laughed and said our goodbyes, then she left. With a sligh sping in my step, I returned to my table as a round of applause broke out. “Ah dew you two jew it!” Dan said eloquently. “This rounds on me” I beamed, causing another round of applause. I got home drunk and dropped onto my bed. I thought about Sandra and how awesome the night had turned out. Then my thoughts returned to last night’s dream, angry again at my carelessness that ended it. I thought about Berry and her monstrous hangover, imagining Dan in a similar situation tomorrow and chuckling aloud to myself a little. “Hey, I think he’s waking up!” I heard a familiar voice say.