At sunrise I heard the usual ruckus. Someone had already gotten up and was making breakfast, odds were good that the news was being watched by Pinkie and Rarity, and I was now smushed in a pony sandwich. Rainbow’s mane tickled my nose just as much as Twilight’s hooves sent chills down my back.
No, it isn’t what you’re thinking, though now that I said that you’re probably thinking it a little louder. Ever since my first bedroom swap, I got used to wearing pajama pants to bed instead of just my boxers. I never really had proof until that first swap, which put me with Fluttershy that I tossed at all in my sleep. Ever since then, with exception to the week I shared with Pinkie, I experienced a pegasus lying on one of my arms every morning.
“Rainbow,” I whispered to her, “I need my arm now.”
“Five more minutes Al,” she sleepily mumbled before turning over and freeing my arm.
I slid out of bed and made a beeline to the adjoining bathroom for a shower as I thought about my situation. I thought that would be greedy if I left, choosing them over my life among humans. The inverse however, seemed to paint me as a selfless jerk since I would be forsaking them to continue to live among humans. Either way I felt like less of a person.
Upon returning for something to wear, Rainbow was looking over to me from bed. She gave me a sleepy stare and completely ignored how screwed up her mane looked. “We might be able to go home right,” she asked before trying to stifle a yawn.
I gave a weak smile but nodded. “Seems like that’s the case, I’ll really miss everypony.”
“I want to be here… with you.” She seemed to completely ignore the very rare occurrence of saying ‘everypony’ instead of ‘everyone’ but I think I’d chalk that up to last night when I seemed to abandon the use of the latter.
“Oh no you don’t,” came Twilight’s irritable voice from in front of the mirror. Unlike Rainbow, she was wide-awake with a brush running through her mane. “If we can get home then we’re all going!”
The unicorn’s comment seemed to wake Rainbow better than the usual guide into a freezing cold shower did. “You’ll have to take me bucking and screaming Twilight! If he doesn’t go then I won’t go either!”
“I’m just gonna get some clothes and change,” I muttered, grabbing a shirt and jeans before ducking back into the bathroom. This was one catfight I wasn’t about to get mixed up in. I would however, get the first aid kit from under the sink.
*****
“Would you want to go,” Twilight asked while I was checking one of her forelegs for something aside from her bruises. I thought I saw blood.
“You girls all belong over there,” I glanced over to Rainbow who was now sporting an icepack. I wasn’t the only one with first aid concerns. Fluttershy, who claimed to nearly get blindsided by a flying pillow, brought the icepack for her friend. “If I belong there, with you, then I’m sorry that I didn’t try to break you both up.”
“That’s-ouch,” Rainbow cursed loudly as Fluttershy started wrapping a bandage on her flank. “Watch how much pressure you’re putting on Fluttershy.”
“I’m really sorry Rainbow Dash,” Fluttershy said meekly, “it’s just that um why were you both fighting?”
“I don’t wanna go back to Equestria if we can’t take Al back with us,” replied her friend irritably.
Fluttershy glanced over to me, a concerned look on her face. “Could you pass me the disinfectant Alex?”
“Sure,” I replied as I passed her the bottle.
“Have you thought about that at all Alex? I mean, if you want to talk about it.”
“I need to sit on it some more Fluttershy. I mean if nothing else,” I glared at Rainbow then Twilight, “I don’t want you both fighting again. Have I made myself clear?”
“Yes Alex,” they replied dryly in unison.
*****
After Fluttershy and I finished patching the two up as best we could, the four of us went downstairs to a very peculiar argument.
“Waffles,” Pinkie had taken to waffles. It started when she found the waffle iron and went right to the top of her ‘silly appliances’ list, right above the rice cookers. I guess why we used electricity for either was somehow beyond her very unusual grasp of reality.
“Pancakes,” argued Rick’s voice. Simple and practical, just what I expected from him.
I sighed. “Could you please make my eggs scrambled today Applejack?” I simply ignored the two bickering over the pancake batter and went right for something simpler: cereal and scrambled eggs.
“Sure thing,” she replied happily. The farmer was pretty well adjusted to everything; seemed one more human in the house didn’t faze her in the least.
“Uh Twi, what happened to you and Rainbow,” asked Spike with a concerned look. All eyes shifted to the two and all we could hear was the skillet. The fight’s aftermath had rattled everyone at least a little.
“Just a scuffle Spike,” I said calmly, “everyone’s fine now, so don’t worry.” I just wanted to put it past us. I didn’t want to feel guilty in front of everyone.
“You both look awful,” commented Rarity from her seat. “You’re both all bandaged up and,” she stared at Rainbow, “how in Equestria did you get a black eye Rainbow Dash?”
“Twilight threw my journal at me,” she grumbled.
“I said I was sorry,” added Twilight shyly, “we were really blowing everything out of control.”
“I think I was a bit too much of a coward though,” I commented as I poured a tall glass of orange juice.
“No,” Rainbow squealed quickly. “You shouldn’t have gotten involved; I mean I don’t think you should’ve gotten caught in the crossfire.”
“You could’ve gotten seriously hurt,” Twilight added with a curt nod. “I mean we don’t have much problem shaking this sort of thing off in a day or two, but you’d be down for a while and you have a job to do Alex.”
*****
The next few days were spent faxing an unfathomable number of letters to Princess Celestia about how to get the girls, and Spike, back home. I did however save time on Friday to have a long talk with my brother about everypony. It seemed beyond strange to actually send letters with a feature I actually never used on my printer to a distant world.
“Getting used to everything Rick?” We sat out on the porch that afternoon. I thought that giving it the rest of the week would help. Sadly, it was getting awkward and a second, albeit verbal, round between Twilight and Rainbow didn’t make things any better.
“I miss having burgers Alex,” he replied flatly.
I snickered. “Then go out and get one. Just don’t come back with it.”
“Well then how do you eat that rabbit food every day?”
“It’s not that bad with a few good spices,” I replied with a very good attempt to look dignified. I was all for a vegetarian lifestyle now and it would take a long time to deprogram it at this point. “Is there anything else on your mind?”
“Seems a little silly now,” he smiled, “I mean I came home and saw you and a bunch of characters from a show.”
“Yeah about that; how did you hear about it?”
“Soldiers are still people bro. They talk, and some talked about the show.”
I grinned. “It’s right up my alley Rick.”
“Alexander, you aren’t getting close to any of them are you?” He sounded serious. Whenever he didn’t shorten my name at all he was always serious.
“Richard,” I matched his tone, “what business is it to you? If I’m close then it’s my business and you should be happy for me.”
He raised an eyebrow at me. “You’re my brother and they don’t belong here.”
“I know that,” I sighed, “what would you do if I liked somepony? I think I really like one of them and if you don’t like it then speak up.”
“Which one is it then? The tomboy? The nerd? The crazy one?”
I snickered causing him to stop and give me a weird look. “Rick, they’re all a little crazy. Pinkie’s just,” I tried to come up with the best way to phrase it. “Well… amusing but no I don’t like her in a romantic sense. She spices life up a bit and it keeps everything interesting. I gotta warn ya though; you better be paying attention if she’s twitching.”
He rolled his eyes. “Fine, then what about the other five of them, you like one of them?”
“I’m torn between two of them to really be accurate. I mean I like Twilight cause she’s bookish and nerdy. Her magic and my electronics aside, we have a lot of common ground.”
“And who’s the other one?”
“Rainbow,” I replied warmly. “Dash, well she confessed that she likes me. I always thought she was cool, but now I really want to figure out why she likes me. I wouldn’t do something like read her journal, I wouldn’t be able to survive the repercussions of that idea. I just wonder what’s going on in that head of hers and it’s like she pulls me in deeper. Ya know what I’m sayin’ Rick?”
“A little, but that’s pretty flowery Alex. Are you sure they aren’t making you a bit girly?”
“I was always a bit like that Rick, you just never saw it. I know you always thought I was just a nerd.”
“No, I saw a brother who always stood his ground and was a constant rebel towards his upbringing. You didn’t like what all the money we had made mom and dad act like. If it wasn’t for you and Jessie being good role models I don’t think I’d make the cut for the army. Reservist maybe, but definitely not out in the Middle East. Made a difference to me Alex, never forget that.”
“Still miss Jessie at all Rick,” I asked him, doing my best to move away from the ‘relationship’ subject.
“Always ‘round now, her birthday’s coming up right?”
“Must be losing track of time, you missed it Rick. It was a week before you got home.”
“What did ya do, I mean you’ve got all those ponies to keep an eye on so you probably didn’t visit her.”
“She’d want us to move on eventually Rick, I’m just trying to do that. All that fighting over there, I mean like how do you guys deal with it all the time?”
Rick just shrugged. “Well, how have you not gone insane with six ponies in the house?”
“Rainbow plays video games or flies around like she is today,” I looked up to see a rainbow colored streak zoom by against the overcast sky. “Pinkie, believe it or not, is a lot of help with my work; she catches things I don’t. Applejack’s thinking that if they stay much longer she’ll want to start a little garden to spend time on. Twilight’s been busting her flank trying to get everyone home and the two of us geek out from time to time too.”
“What about the others?”
“Well, I don’t really talk to Rarity too often; she usually spends time keeping things clean and orderly. Well, by her standards at least. Fluttershy does too many different things, but she’s always a big help. She does a lot of chores around the house before I can get to them. Then there’s Spike, I got him hooked on video games pretty early on and we kinda lost him for the most part.”
“Sounds like you guys are one big family. Well, except for what happened on Tuesday morning, and yesterday now that I think about it.”
“Yeah, I need to get the full story from those two. You might not have caught onto it when you first came home, but I hope you figured it out the next day. Thing is, Twilight’s a bit jealous of Rainbow. She was upfront with confessing and getting more attention from me. Rainbow made me think a lot about how they fit into my life and how I fit into theirs. I’m still not too sure about if I would go with them if could. I mean I’d be picking up and leaving so suddenly. Everything else aside, I’d like to ask you to pack up and head to your own place in town sometime soon.”
“Wouldn’t you want me here to say good-bye and stuff?”
“I’d love you to stay for something like that, but there’s this girl who’s head over heels for you and a house full of ponies might deter her from wanting to be romantic with you.”
“Wait, you mean that Sam’s still got a thing for me?”
“Have a problem with an older woman Rick? I mean she’s not that much older than you but that doesn’t mean she isn’t.”
“Al, she really likes me that much?”
“I swear you should listen to those things called ‘feelings’ from time to time. I’d put good money down that she’d be willing to move in with you at the very least.”
“Alright, but in return you better get things straightened out here. Two girls interested in you and a big decision in the future, you need to focus on that stuff.”
Despite what I thought about my brother, he had a serious point. Twilight might’ve seen me like I see her, in fact, I’m pretty sure she did. Rainbow however, I’d love to know how she thought I piqued her interest.
*****
I waited for Rainbow to finish writing in her journal before I even thought about talking things over with her. I didn’t want to blow things out of proportion so I had waited until we were at least somewhat alone.
“Rainbow what brought this along,” I asked her after she closed her journal. “This whole love confession thing doesn’t seem like you.”
Rainbow looked away from me. She mumbled something I couldn’t really hear.
I sat down beside her and tried to get her to look me in the eye. “Please Rainbow, can you tell me what makes me so special to such a cool pegasus?”
It was weird, as if you feel the world will end from how uncharacteristically weird seeing Rainbow Dash acting like Fluttershy is. “Um it’s just,” her voice was barely above a whisper, “I really just like you so much.”
I gave her a skeptical stare. “You seriously don’t know why?”
She quickly shook her head, causing her normally windswept mane to go frizzy. “You make me feel fantastic just from being near me. My heart races, even more than when I’m doing some cool aerial trick. Just… just feel it for yourself,” she had a shy smile and a reddening face. “I wanna show you how fast you make my heart race is all so don’t get any ideas!”
I reached towards her, letting her guide my hand and I could feel it, the quickening pulse of her heart. It was going so fast that I couldn’t imagine anything staying that fast for too long. It was so sudden, I pulled her into a tight hug practically on instinct. I gave her a gentle smile as I ran my fingers through her mane. “How long have you felt like this Dash?”
“Weeks ago,” she murmured as she leaned into my shoulder, “ever since we shared a bed the first time. You’re cool in your own way, and I think that’s what I love the most.”
“You don’t see me like a male version of Twilight do you?”
“No,” she replied with a snicker, “you’re cool, not an egghead.”
“I am an egghead Rainbow,” I said proudly, “I just don’t care that I’m an egghead. I want you girls to be okay, I want you all to be happy, I want to keep you all safe.”
“Fine,” she said as she pulled away from me; her face looked redder than the streak of crimson in her forelock. “You care a lot and you’re an egghead. To me, just me, I think you’re the coolest of the cool.” She shied away again. “You’re the kind of cool that doesn’t have to show off how cool you are.”
“And you’re the kind of cool I like,” I told her. “You do cool things and never ever leave your friends hanging. You may have a brash streak, but it doesn’t matter. Coolness and loyalty define you and that’s all there is to it. Dash, why do you like a human and not a pony this way?”
“I don’t care that you’re not a pony. That really doesn’t matter to me. I want to be here,” she said as she nudged closer and brushed my arm with one of her wings, “with you.”
“But what abou-” I started before being cut off by Rainbow, leaning in and planting a kiss on my lips. She didn’t try to press further, probably afraid of rejection.
As Rainbow broke away from me, she smiled. “I want to be with you,” she repeated teasingly.
“What if you can go home and I don’t want to go?” I felt like I didn’t get a real answer last time, I thought she was just reacting to Twilight’s presence.
She tickled my nose with a wingtip. “I won’t leave without you and nopony’s gonna stop me.”
I blushed. “And if they force you?”
“I’m gonna raise all Tartarus and make sure they bring you along Al. There’s no way I’d go without you.”
I couldn’t help but be pleased with this remark. In a way, I could live with someone this loving abducting me. If nothing else, it makes a funny story to tell Scootaloo, if she’s anywhere as close to how she is in the show at least. “I couldn’t ask for a more direct filly to be in love with me.” I turned on my side and pulled the covers up. “I still have to talk to Twilight but we’ll work this out Dash.”
“Please,” she told me as she snuggled up against my back. “Whatever happens, just call me ‘Dashie’ okay?”
I smiled and resisted the urge to turn over and wrap my arm around her. “Alright Dashie,” I told her. I wasn’t about to be too affectionate towards her; not without hearing Twilight out at the very least.