//------------------------------// // Chapter 2 // Story: Temple of the Stars // by OrphiusOlyandra //------------------------------// “I am the Great and Powerful Trixie!” That bloody unicorn is insufferable. Heck, I’d known her an hour at best and I already wanted to snap her goddess damn neck. Oh, and speaking of goddesses... “And we... are... her assistant.” I would have faceclawed when I heard her stumble over ‘are’ rather than ‘art’. The problem with faceclawing is that you need an arm free to do it, and both of mine were clinging to the underside of Trixie’s carriage. Maybe I shouldn’t have let them know I can’t cross the border legally. Then we’d have been caught and turned around... Well, they would have been turned around; I’d have been taken back to the Gryphon Kingdom for a nice hanging... if I was lucky. Yeah, so maybe getting caught at the border wasn’t such a great idea, but hey I can dream, right? “You dare argue with somepony as great as Trixie? She defeated an ursa major singlehoofedly... while poisoned!” But if it meant not having to listen to that damn mare any more, it might just be worth it. “I’m not arguing with you ma’am,” the bored border guard answered. “I’m informing you that if wish to cross the border then you’ll need to sign some paperwork and provide proof of Equestrian citizenship as well evidence that you’ll have work available to you inside the Gryphon Kingdom.” “Of course Trixie has such!” Shutup-shutup-shutup! “Trixie is not only great and powerful, but forward thinking and well prepared.” Oh goddesses I hope she dies painfully while I’m there to see it. “If that’s the case then you and your assistant can just step through here and-” “Yes-yes. Trixie knows what she must do.” Interrupting a gryphon is not a good way to make friends. I had no doubt that whoever it was that was unlucky enough to have to deal with her was getting really ticked off right now. With a bit of luck, she’ll piss off the right gryphons and we can get turned around. No wait, it could better than that: They just get pissed enough to kill her. I heard the sounds of hoofs in mud as Trixie and Luna both followed the border guard inside. A few seconds later claws and paws entered the carriage above my head and began searching around inside for anything illegal. It wouldn’t be long till they checked under the carriage so I had to move fairly soon. There were five guards to this particular post. I knew ‘cause I’d scoped it out before we approached. Luna got a bit suspicious about that, but whatever. She can think what she wants. I doubt she’ll figure out the truth. If the guards had followed regulation there would be three griffons inside for every two sentients they were watching. There was only one griffon above me searching the carriage so that meant there was one guard unaccounted for. Shit. I glanced around from the underside of the caravan, trying to spot legs, but I couldn’t see him. Freaking damn it. No other options, so I lowered myself to the ground beneath the caravan and rolled onto all fours. Chances were that last gryphon was in the watch tower, which was to the left of the carriage, so I risked poking my head out from under it to the right. I couldn’t see anyone, so I crawled out from under there and put my back to the carriage’s side. In front of me was the tiny cabin that Luna and Trixie had followed the guards into. It had a window and through it I could see the curtains drawn. Good. Moving slowly to my right, I lowered my head and peeked around the corner through the spokes of the wagon wheel. Yeah, just as I thought, the last guard was in the tower, but I was lucky and he was asleep. I rolled my eyes. So that just left the guard inside the carriage who was most likely to spot me. I moved back to the front of the carriage, careful to stay under the window. I could still hear him rummaging around inside. I padded around to the front of the caravan, and stiffened when I heard voice sound out from inside the carriage. “Silreno,” the guard from inside the carriage called out. I heard his claws click on the stairs to the carriage. “Silreno?! Are you asleep again?!” There was a pause. “Oh, elders in the bloody stars! You are, aren’t you!” His claws landed on the ground outside the carriage. I quickly ducked back around to the right of the carriage, at the front there was too much risk of getting spotted from the left. “Get up! We’ve got someone crossing the border.” I heard the sound of snuffling and yawning, followed by, “Alright, alright.” “Get your lazy ass down here and help me check the carriage!” After a moment I heard the sound of gryphon wings and Silreno landed on the ground next to the carriage. “What do you want me to do?” “Just help me check the carriage, alright?” “Why? There’s nothing in there?” Silreno grumbled back lazily. “Doesn’t matter. Regulation is we check all the carriages.” “No one cares,” Silreno answered. “We never get anything illegal coming through here.” “Come on,” the other answered. “We’re soldiers of the Kingdom, where’s your pride?” Silreno just grumbled and I heard his steps as he entered the carriage, followed by the other guard. I breathed a quiet sigh of relief before moving forwards to the front of the carriage. After a second I ran forward, away from them the sound of claws and paws on floorboards. When I was far enough away, I took off with a flap of my wings. A gryphon flying is a bit louder than a pegasus, and the flaps are a bit slower too. I was the fastest flyer I knew other than Dash and... Fuck... I’d almost forgotten about her. After a second I shook my head to clear my thoughts before flying down and landing behind a hill out of view of the guard post. Heh, I’d just crossed a hundred metres in how many seconds? I don’t know, but I knew it was fast. I looked around for a bit of cover, and spotted a fairly dense bush. I doubted any of the guards would fly over, but it was better to play it safe while I waited for the goddess and the snob that was even more stuck up than a deity. I crawled under the bush and rolled over with my claws cushioning my head while I waited for the two idiots. … … … Damn it this was taking a long time. If I could I’d have fallen asleep like Dash- FUCK! I put a claw to my head and almost screamed in frustration. I can’t keep shutting down whenever I think of Dash damn it! She used to be a friend, but then she ditched me. That’s it. Forget her and that fucking pink bitch and move on. There, problem solved. But... Goddesses I missed her. It had only been a few days and I felt like... Damn it. I felt like I did when he‘d left. Part of me felt like crying and the other half felt like hunting down that pink bitch, cutting her from mouth to anus, and wearing her like a cloak. But I knew that was a bad idea. That was just my stupid emotions getting in the way of things. With too much time to myself, all I could do was lay there and think. And all I could think about was the clutch mate I’d lost. I know that we never shared a clutch but... Goddesses, she was a sister to me. I always thought she felt the same way. But... if she ditched me that easy then I guess she didn’t. Fuck, when were the two idiots gonna show up already? The truth was I could probably have ditched the princess back in Canterlot, or maybe the unicorn ranges, but I needed this. I needed something to keep my mind busy while I got over this shit with Dash. It was why I’d picked a bar fight in Canterlot. What fucking good was that princess if she left me sitting around anyway? The guard peered at our papers curiously before looking up at us and squinting. Or rather, looking at me specifically. Surely my illusionary disguise wasn’t that bad. Was it? I resisted the urge to look in the mirror. With a sigh, I resisted the urge to yell at the guard to get on with it. If they knew who I truly was they’d be cowering behind their desks rather than this ridiculous pompous attitude. “Well, everything seems to be in order.” Of course everything was in order! I was the Princess of Equestria. I made those papers and approved them! Did they want me to burn them alive or something? I’d do it! “About time,Trixie was getting tired of all your posturing. Be glad your commander isn’t present or Trixie would have had a word with him about your poor conduct. Come, it is about time we left this cesspool. Bring the cart.” I ground my teeth and sulked after her. This was just an act; this was all just an act. I need Trixie to keep up our cover and that meant I can’t hurt her. Yet. Just focus on that, once this is all done, I can toss her aside like the doll that she is. “‘Approved by Princess Luna’?” I heard one of the gryphons mutter under his breath. “What will they think of next?” Biting my tongue, I trotted after Trixie with a scowl on my face. One more word, just one more word and I- “Oh! Before I forget, stay away from the Nightmare Plains to the south east. The government has sent out a warning due to an abnormal increase in monster activity and all unauthorized personnel will be arrested on site. If you need to reach the port town, I suggest taking a detour to the capital then heading east.” “Thank you fo-” “Less talk! Daylight is precious.” Trixie jerked her head in the direction of her wagon as she lounged on the seat. “Trixie,” I ground out, “may we speak to thou in private?” “No.” She smirked down at me as she began fanning herself with her hat. Why that- She knew I couldn’t touch her as long as we were in public! “Chop, chop, we have a schedule to keep.” “Yes, yes we do.” With an evil smirk, I pulled on the wagon with far more force than necessary, sending Trixie toppling backwards. Before she had a chance to regain her balance, I deliberately ran it into a ditch in the ground, throwing her off her seat. And then, just for added insult, I nudged her ever so slightly so that she’d end up in a pile of manure. “Oh, Miss Great and Powerful Trixie, th- you seem to have had an accident. Please, allow us to wash thee clean.” I conjured a bucket of freezing cold water and dumped it all over her head and before she could register what had happened, I prodded the wind into a miniature cyclone to dry her off. Unfortunately, I put just a bit too much magic into it and she spun around until she could no longer stand, let alone see straight. Leaning down, I whispered in her ear, “Next time thou order us around, thou may find thyself missing a limb.” Like a trained professional, she kept her mouth shut and didn’t seem as though she had heard me. Of course, knowing her, she very well might not have - there was something about large egos that impeded listening skills. Oh well, it’s not like she needed all four limbs to perform on stage. Hauling her back onto her hooves, she refused to look the laughing gryphons in the face as she trudged back to her spot on her wagon. “Well apprentice, start pulling!” This time though, there was no smirk or barbs in her words, despite the sharp delivery. I permitted myself a small smile as I took up the reins once more and began pulling us along. We trudged along the dirt road, ignoring the curious looks of the gryphon guards as we passed through. Some even had some more... base instincts in their eyes. If one of them even dared approach me with such a lewd offer, I would personally castrate them then force feed them the remains. Being away from females was no excuse to let useless emotions overtake them. “Do you think she got through safely?” Trixie’s lips didn’t even move. I gave the barest of nods and smiled politely at the guards. Within minutes they were out of sight as we continued down the ‘road’, if you could even call it that. “Damn, was hoping for some action.” I was certain I wasn’t supposed to hear that. “Stupid, stuck up gryphon bitch. Dogs, the whole lot of them.” My ears immediately perked up and I sent my magic out, seeing if any gryphons were near. Just because a normal pony wouldn’t have heard that, it didn’t mean gryphons wouldn’t. After all, they were birds of prey. “If thou wish to stay alive, thou shalt keep such barbed words to thyself,” I growled. “Gryphons naturally possess superior hearing and if we could hear, then they most likely could as well.” “She’s right you know.” With a heavy thud, Gilda landed next to Trixie, and wrapped an arm around her shoulder, a claw trailing along the unicorn’s cheek. “Some of us can read lips... Like me.” “If thou are going to play with thy food, please wait until we have somewhere to hide the evidence.” “Nah, I don’t eat junk food.” Gilda chuckled and withdrew her arm from Trixie before glaring over at her. “Still, fun times.” “Then stop flirting with thy food.” Gilda seemed shocked - did I get it wrong? From the way Celly talked about flirting, I assumed that was what they were doing. After a second she recovered. “Oh, don’t want me to get in with the mare you plan to ravage? Nah, it’s cool. You called dibs.” “What!?” Trixie looked back and forth between us two. “Trixie will have you know, she does not-” “Silence.” With a bit of magic, I sealed her lips shut. “We tire of thy voice.” “Gagging her?” Gilda smirked. “Fuck, I know you wanted to ravage her, but if I knew you planned on getting out the leather and chains I never would’ve hunted her down for you.” “Keep speaking and we shall gag you next,” I replied with a sweet smile. Gilda grimaced. “I just got threatened with rape... By a filly.” She shook her head. “I never thought I’d say something like that.” “Whatever dost thou speak'stof? We said no such thing.” I pointed at the cabin. “Now inside, or we shall tie thee to the underside of this carriage and hit every bump in the road as far as our eyes can see.” “Oh goddesses I hate this goddess,” Gilda muttered as she swung around from the front of carriage and hopped inside in a fairly impressive display of agility. “Ah, much better, wouldst thou agree?” Trixie just looked at me silently as she huffed. “Tis a shame we need to head southeast into the Nightmare Plains.” A manic grin was plastered all over my face. “And here we were, hoping to avoid such adventure on this journey.” “The Nightmare Plains?!” Gilda shouted from inside the carriage. “I thought you just wanted a holiday or some shit, not to get eaten by manticores!” “Oh yes, we desired a holiday, it just happens our first and only stop is the site of the Temple of the Stars.” “Never heard of it,” she called forward. “We are not surprised. It was buried under an avalanche over a thousand years ago. T’was our old temple and we hath grown fond of it over the years.” And Celly just gave it away! Damn her to Tartarus. A series of muffled squeaks and grunts drew my attention to Trixie who was wildly waving her hoof in the air. Reluctantly, I undid my spell and she immediately began speaking, “The guard back at the border said there was some sort of government setup in the area. And Trixie did not sign up to be shot at, attacked, harassed, gag-” And just like that, I gagged her once again. Gilda’s voice rang out. “What was she saying about the government?” She poked her head out the window. “That they are foalish enough to believe that can stop a goddess from reclaiming what is rightly belongs to her.” I flicked a lock of mane out of my eyes as I dispelled the enchantment I had cast on the chest inside. “There is a chest against the back wall, inside thou shalt find a breastplate, wing guards and clawed gauntlets for thee. Put them on. The swords and black armor are ours.” Gilda was silent for a second. “Are you fucking kidding me?!” she shouted. “What the fuck dude!?” She shook her head. “You want to start a fucking war with the Gryphon Kingdom for some nostalgia trip? Stop you? How the heck would they even know you were coming?” “Unimportant details. Gryphons have always been th-” A sharp pain laced through my head and I dropped onto my knees. I could see... a chamber with vaulted ceiling illuminated by a sickly green light. There was a pony before me, her mouth was moving and yet I heard nothing. Shadows danced upon the wall, monstrous shadows of things that should not exist. There on the table was a vial of blue liquid and next to it, a document. “Project Thanatos,” Nightmare Moon whispered from beside me. “I remember now. Project Thanatos, but what does it mean?” “Augmentation,” I whispered, only to frown. Where had that come from? “And who is this pony? I feel as though I sho-” “Aether,” I replied. “She was our top scientist and worked... worked on something. Project Thanatos?” My head throbbed. “And what is that?” “What is what?” I looked in the direction she was point in, but saw nothing. There was just a black void where she was pointing. “There is nothing there.” “No! Can you not see it?” Her eyes widened, but I was the one who voiced what it was we were thinking. “Our memories are not lost, they are split.” “Then we must work together to-” “No! It was because of thee that we were banished!” I threw her away from me with a blast of magic. “We shalt not fall for thy tricks so easily. Be gone!” The dark alicorn drew herself to her full height and glared down at me. “You are a foal. This is no trick. I desire the truth as much as you do.” “Likely story. Tell us, what else would a monster like thee say? We tire of thy presence.” “No!” She slammed into me and all I knew was darkness. I glanced over at Luna again as I ignored what Trixie was saying. Or at least I tried to. She had a voice that made not listening hard. “Trixie demands that you light a fire this instant!” She shivered and wrapped her hooves around herself. “No!” I snapped at her. “Fuck, how many times do I have to say it? We’re only half a day at best from that border post, and we have Princess fucking Luna lying unconscious right over there. If the people at the border decide to check out the smoke, then we’ve started a bloody war between Equestria and the Gryphon Kingdom, so quit your bitching.” “But-” “No!” I shouted. “You’re cold! Deal with it!” I turned back to the stream that I was watching. “Fuck.” I muttered. Bloody Princess fucking Luna. Right after she reveals her plan to start a goddess damn war, she falls unconscious and leaves me alone with the world’s most annoying unicorn. So I had to drag her fat godly ass into the carriage and pull it myself to some tree cover. This being the Equestrian-Gryphon Kingdom border, the nearest forest of any kind is hours away, and there is no way I was just gonna camp us along the edge, so that was another few hours of dragging that bloody carriage through wooded terrain. And all that Trixie could do was bitch and moan the entire time... While I did the work! It’s a miracle we didn’t get bloody caught! Stupid, prissy, useless unicorn. Should have just ditched them and snuck back to Equestria. And to think this was just the first day of this week? Maybe I should just run to the nearest settlement and take my chances with the law. ‘Bye Luna, good luck with your plan to kill thousands for a fucking nostalgia trip, make sure you gut Trixie for me!’ Ugh... I rubbed a palm over my eyes. At least the sun had finally set. The sound of stirring made me glance left. “Ah, the fucking goddess has had enough of her beauty nap?” I asked the princess as she rolled onto her belly, eyes shut. Without even opening her eyes, her horn glowed and a spectral blade was pressed against my throat. “It is a shame we have need for you, otherwise I would happily slit your throat. Luna may be a nice filly, too afraid to carry out any of her threats, but I most certainly am not. Speak to me like that again and you will find yourself missing a claw. And another, and another, and once I’ve run out of claws, I’ll start moving onto hands and feet. And then up to limbs. It’s a shame you’re not a male, castration is such a nice torture tool.” A pair of reptilian eyes stared at me. “Got that?” I swallowed. I didn’t even need to ask. Whoever this was, it wasn’t Luna. That voice was... Fuck. No, I was not going to call that a bluff. Even Trixie seemed smart enough to not say anything. First fucking time that day. It wasn’t just her voice that was different, but her eyes as well, and was it just me or was her coat different too? I nodded my understanding and the blade immediately turned to dust. “Good, I am glad we have come an understanding. Continue to be useful and I promise not to touch a single hair on your pretty little head.” My mind immediately went to the loophole in that little promise - the fact that I did not have any hair on my head. “So, what are we having for dinner? Grass? Bleah. Oh well, I suppose we couldn’t risk a fire could we?” There was a pause. “So none of you are going to be stupid and go, ’Who are you?’ That’s a shame. I had an entire speech planned.” “Uh... Nightmare, right?” I said after an expectant pause. “Nightmare!? You mean she was real?” I gave her my best ‘shut the fuck up look.’ before saying to her, “Trixie, shut the fuck up.” “Spoilsport, you ruined all my fun,” purred Nightmare as she brushed up against me sensually. “I had such delightful ways of making her scream my name planned.” Is it wrong my mind went straight to the closet? Oh, goddesses I was regretting all those ravaging jokes. Calm down Gilda, get your mind back on track. You’ve been in worse situations before. Oh wait a second, no I haven’t. I stepped away from her cautiously. “Well I think screaming might bring some gryphon soldiers down on us and I think that’s a bit more important than just a little fun, right?” “The more the merrier!” Okay, that grin was a bit too wide for my liking. “But I suppose you are right.” Oh fuck me, a filly was saying this! A filly wanted to have an orgy with me! Oh goddesses no! Then I realized it was a goddess that was saying this to me. Fuck. I’m glad I was never very religious. This is the sort of shit that you read about in the comic section of the newspaper. The sound of cracking bones snapped my attention back to the insane filly murder god. “You have no idea how nice it is to have a body again. I’ve missed this so much.” She took a deep breath and shivered in delight. “Now I suggest you all get some rest, and don’t worry, I won’t tie you down in your sleep or anything like that. I’ll take guard duty tonight.” There was a flash of light and a pair of short swords appeared before her. From the way she swung them, it was clear she knew exactly what she was doing. Nothing fancy, none of that stupid twirly crap. Every move was designed to kill or hamper an enemy. “Hm... slightly rusty, but nothing a couple of hours practice won’t fix up.” She turned back us. “Get some sleep.” I swallowed hard. Yeah, like that wouldn’t be hard. “Uh... Nightmare? Uh... what is it that we’ll be needing our rest for?” I quickly added, “Just askin’.” “The guard did say the quarantine was because there were monsters around.” A small smile danced on her lips at that. “And we’ve got another day’s travel before we reach the plains so you will need a full night’s sleep to keep up.” “Alright, so... If you plan on uh... seeing your old temple again then what do you need us for?” I was still looking for a way out of this. Maybe I could still get back to Equestria, find Dash and let her know that Nightmare’s back. Then she’d get the Elements, do whatever the hell it was they did last time, and this time cut the bitch’s throat as well. “Please, the Elements did not work the first time, so what makes you think they would work now?” Did she just read my mind!? “Yes, yes I did. Luna and Celestia are too... urgh, nice to use their magic. They are scared of their magic, as though it will eat them up or something. Silly fillies really. Now stop thinking of ways of escaping, it’s not as though I’m going to start a war or something. Please, Celestia is the face of Equestria, but I am the one that does whatever’s necessary to keep the peace. If I could organize the assassination of Black Eyes chief Virionzo without the gryphons ever finding out, I can do this in my sleep.” She took a bite of her dinner. “Oh, and I promise to not use the whole feather loophole thing. Geez, paranoid much?” “So... um... Trixie assumes you’re not going to bring about eternal night?” Does she want to die or something? Fuck, I’d kill her. “Do I look as though I can bring about eternal night?” Internally I breathed a sigh of relief. Heck, the Gryphon Kingdom practically formed because the tribes had grouped together to stop eternal night. I knew because of my connections with- Shit! She’s reading my thoughts again. Think of something else, anything else. Uh... My mind went back to the promises of ravaging, and despite the blush on my face I was grateful. “Right, so we’ll need our rest then!” I clapped my claws together. All the while she was looking at me and trying her hardest not to laugh. “Trixie, it’s time to sleep just like the nice uh... Goddess asked.” “Trixie is in agreement. We’ll need our rest for...” she paused unsure what to say. “Tomorrow,” I finished for her with a nervous grin. Oh, I knew she said she hadn’t planned on starting a war, but I really didn’t want, ‘helped Nightmare start a war’ on my tombstone. That was assuming there was enough left of me to bury. I turned and made my way back towards the carriage. Oh goddesses, what had I gotten into? Nightmare wanted something. Everyone has an angle. I’m not a cynic like some I know, so I don’t think everyone is selfish, but in this case I had no doubt whatever she wanted wasn’t nice and flowery. Fuck, I always hated nice and flowery, but now I’d do anything to be back in Equestria. No-no. Mind back on track. Remember what you were taught. Focus, everyone has an angle. You just need to try and figure out hers. Once you know what they want, you can begin to make a plan; a plan that she’ll read straight from your head, but still, plans are good. What does she want? “Gilda,” Trixie spoke. “Trixie has to ask if this sort of thing has happened before. You know Luna, right?” She’s stopped on the first step of the carriage. “No, I met her today, just like you.” I frowned. “Trixie, just... get some sleep and try not to think of... anything that might piss her off.” She nodded after a moment and climbed up into the carriage. Knowing her she’d probably think of something that would get us murdered in our sleep. After a moment I followed her in and lay there on the bench across from her, near the front of the carriage and tried to think of anything that could be useful. I kept coming back to ‘hope Luna comes back, then cut her throat,’ but I knew that was dumb. I lay there with my claws behind my head and stared up at the ceiling. As to what she wanted, the most I could figure out was Luna’s temple. Why’d she want that? I was drawing a blank. It had to be an hour before I finally started to drift off to sleep. Fuck. This week looked bad before. Now it looked like I’d have trouble surviving it. And that was before Nightmare showed up. After a while I eventually gave up planning, and my thoughts went to Dash. Goddesses, to think she left me. What was the last thing I said to her? “When you decide not to be lame anymore, give me a call...” I muttered to myself. Fuck, those weren't just bad last words, they were weak ones too. Shit. I hoped I’d see Dash again one day. I mean, even if that pink bitch that fucked everything was there, I’d at least like to see Dash again. I almost laughed to myself when realized that if I died here then I’d definitely never find Calisto. Huh, like I was making any headway with that anyway. Goddesses, I missed him. Eventually my mind slowed and I found myself thinking of nothing. Sleep finally crept up on me then. When I woke up it was still a bit before sunrise. I woke up just because it was the sort of schedule I’m used to, I guess. I hopped out of the carriage and landed on the ground before arching my back for a stretch and flexing my wings. I yawned as I did so and shut my eyes. When I opened them I looked up and noticed Nightmare staring at me with a coy smile on her face. I immediately straightened and swallowed nervously. Fuck, that filly freaks me out. She didn’t say anything, just turned and went back to... whatever in Tartarus it was she was doing. I turned around and made my way back to the side of the carriage and knocked on the door. Trixie didn’t answer so I opened it and saw her still lying asleep on her back. She looked comfortable, and I had to admit I got little kick out of grabbing her hoof and dragging her onto the floor. “Whazat?” she sat bolt upright looking surprised and confused. “Who dares awaken the Great and-” I clamped her mouth shut with my claw. “Shut the fuck up Trixie.” At first her eyes were outraged, but then she seemed to remember the situation we were in. “Say that great and powerful shit with Nightmare out there and she might just cut your tongue out,” I warned. She nodded slowly. “Alright, I’ve been thinking and... well we might just be better off with Nightmare here than Luna.” “In what possible way could we be better off with the Nightmare Moon than Princess Luna?” she asked sounding disbelieving. “Luna was an idiot,” I answered. “Fuck, she was ready to start a war for no reason at all. At least Nightmare appears to want to keep things quiet, and on top of that, she actually seems like she knows what she’s doing. I mean, Luna signed her own papers to cross the border. Name a single person you know that’s had their citizenship papers approved by a princess? I was actually hoping the border guards would have noticed that and turned her around for forgery or whatever. Nightmare seems less... not arrogant I guess, but she seems to acknowledge that she can’t just do whatever the fuck she wants.” She nodded slowly. “Trixie sees your point.” “I say just do what she says for now, not like we had much choice in that anyway, and hope that her plan doesn’t involve us too much.” “But what about stopping her?” Trixie asked. “Shouldn’t we-” “You want to go out there and try something?” I interrupted her. “Be my guest, I’ll try not to laugh while she pull’s your guts out your ass.” She went pale at that. “Trixie see’s your point.” I nodded and turned to the carriage door. “Oh, and try not to speak in third person again. If it makes me want to kill you, you can bet Nightmare feels the same way.” I didn’t take the time to listen to her answer before I stepped out of the carriage. “Are you two done planning my death yet?” Nightmare Moon asked as she sheathed her blades. “Does your armor and weapons fit?” “I didn’t check,” I answered her. “But I’m not really sure I want a breast plate and wing guards anyway.” “If you lose a wing, it’s your own fault then.” That’s a good point. Maybe I should take the armor. “Uh, only if we’re going into a fight. I mean, if you want to do this quietly then rattling armor’s not the best choice.” I answered. Well, I hadn’t actually seen the armor Luna got me. If it was one of those big military issue breastplates with the heavy issue wing guards then I’d go without. But maybe if it was one of the smaller sleeker sets like they gave to scouts or Wide Eyes, then I’d use it. Trixie stepped past me, and I hopped back in the carriage before opening the chest. Inside was the set of black armor that Luna had mentioned. I moved that and found the breastplate. I took it out and examined it. Huh, guess when a goddess is paying the bills they don’t skimp on quality. It wasn’t a war plate, which was good, but it wasn’t quite a scout plate either. It wasn’t decorated and gaudy like a war plate, but it didn’t have the sleek practical look of the smaller scout plate. There had once been a clan symbol on the front, but that had been scratched off. I’d prefer just a plain old scout set, but in the absence of that, this’d do. The whole thing was extremely well made. Perhaps a bit too shiny, but a little dried mud would fix that. I put it aside and took out the wing guards. I had no idea what the hell these were. I guess they might have been pegasus royal guard armor, except converted for a gryphon’s wing span. They were oily black and made of one solid piece. As I held it in my hands I felt it bend and flex in my grip like rubber, but it felt cool and metallic in my claws. Hefting it, I realized it was way lighter than any wing guards I’d ever held. Or maybe that was just my memory; I was a fair bit younger the last time I held proper wing guards. I put those down on top of the breast plate before I took out the clawed gauntlets. They were normal for claw guards, but they were made of a darker metal than most. Some kind of black steel? I don’t know, but I put them on and flexed them in my grip. I was more used to fighting with just my claws, but I knew the technique was the same so I wasn’t worried about that. They were the right size, which was good, but I was a little worried about how Luna got them to fit so perfectly. They didn’t creak or whine as I twitched my fingers. I reached over and grabbed the weird rubber metal wing guards and tried to scratch them with the claws. Nope, nothing. Not a mark. This was some high quality gear. I put on the wing guards, which also fit better than I was comfortable with. I strapped on the plate and twisted around a bit. Yep, also fit. What the heck? Did she magically adjust these or something? Shaking my head I stepped out of the carriage, Nightmare and Trixie were waiting for me. “Yeah they fit.” I said to her. “Really fu-” I cut myself off and started again. “Really well too, which is weird.” Nightmare simply smiled in reply as she watched my actions approvingly. “That is good, the correct fitting equipment is important after all.” I nodded in agreement, but couldn’t shake the feeling she was saying more with that sentence then I was picking up on. “Uh, it’s all a bit shiny though, so I’m gonna muddy it up later and I’m not marching all day in this shi-” I coughed. “I’m not marching in this all day, so I’ll just leave it back in the chest.” I don’t know if she really cared about whatever I did, but I didn’t want to do anything that’d make her go murdery on me so I decided it’d be best to let her know what I was doing before I did it. “It would best if you kept it on. That way if we are caught unawares you will already be prepared. Weapons are meant to get dirty, armor on the other hoof? If you’re lucky and good, not so much. Keep them in good condition, and if I catch even a bit of rust on them, you will get the pleasure of being my sparring partner. I will not have you mistreat such equipment.” I had no reason to believe a sparring session would be any fun for me. “Uh, I don’t think there’s much risk of us getting ambushed. But alright I’ll keep the armor on. Though if we’re gonna do any sneaking, I’m taking it off or tinting it.” “Your stupidity, your death,” shrugged the alicorn. “Come, we have a long day ahead of us.” Stupidity? Yeah well fuck you too. I don’t know about your version of stealth, but mine doesn’t involve getting caught because of sun or torch light glinting on steel. This isn’t the first time I’ve jumped the border illegally, I know my gryphon army routines. I’m less worried about me getting us caught and more about you, miss Queen of the Loud Obnoxious Multiple-Personality Filly Sex-Fiend Gods . That was what I wanted to say, but I had no doubt that if I said that I’d probably end up dead. I wonder if she really can read my mind? Is she gonna punish me for the shit I think? “Probably not, your thoughts amuse me too much,” she replied over her shoulder. “Now stop staring at my flank and get moving.” Well that answers that question. And I wasn’t staring at her flank. Please, the bitch shouldn’t flatter herself. I’d never look like that at a filly. I mean fuck. In the Gryphon Kingdom pedophiles get quartered, if they’re lucky. But then I suppose she wasn’t a filly. Whatever, her flanks was too damn scrawny anyway. “Keep telling yourself that.” She cocked an eyebrow back at me before tilting her head to the side. “Unless you’re saying you prefer fat flanks of course, in which case I believe Celestia is more up your alley.” Fuck, this mind reading thing sucks. Get out of my head bitch! Whatever. I knew that wasn’t happening anytime soon, so I tried not to think of anything that’d give the bitch another chance to make fun of me again. As I walked behind her I tried to turn to my thoughts to all the ways I’d murder the ponies I hate if I was a sick fuck. On the list were ponies like Blueblood for passing that tax for non-equines, Trixie for being an annoying fuck, Nightmare was only in third, Luna was more annoying than her, and number one on the list was that pink bitch from Ponyville. I won’t go into details, but her death involved some shit that I’d heard the Wide Eyes used for interrogation. That amused me for a while, but lost its charm fairly quickly, and I couldn’t shake the feeling that maybe Nightmare was enjoying it. I looked back over my shoulder and checked the position of the sun before glancing back in the direction of Equestria. Fuck. To think I only stuck with Luna because I wanted to get my head off what happened. Well, not only was it not working, I was now neck deep in shit that was only piling higher and higher. I know what I said to Trixie about Nightmare not being as bad as Luna, but that was crap to make her not do anything stupid. I had no idea what Nightmare wanted. All I could do was pray that it didn’t involve us, but honestly prayer isn’t much good when it’s a deity that’s your problem. Fuck, I hope I’ll get out of this alive. But then there was that thing Calisto used to love to tell me. I said his words aloud and they felt empty without his deep voice behind it. “Hope ain’t a plan.” From up ahead, Nightmare burst out laughing. “Hope, love, friendship - useless! You would not believe how many have stood before me claiming those virtues only to be burnt to a crisp. I’m glad you have learnt that lesson. Only fools rely on hope. To win a war, one needs not hope. To win a war, one needs a cunning plan and when that is impossible, overwhelming force.”