//------------------------------// // Rainbow // Story: Hearts and Hooves Day for a human in Equestria // by TrollestiaSubject //------------------------------// “Hey, Dave!” Someone calls your name form far above, but you can picture who is already. “Hey, Dash! Aren’t you going to call me human today?” you said after finish syncing the clock of your favorite restaurant. “Nah, not today!” Rainbow said in a cheerful but still condescending tone, as if doing you a favor. You've spent the last couple of hours syncing the clocks around Ponyville market, and since today is Hearts and Hooves Day you’ve seen a lot of couples at the plaza, all eating in these small bistro tables and looking corny to each other, so to find a friend like Dash here is actually a nice and welcomed surprise. Welcoming some friendly talk, you both make your way to your favorite restaurant in the plaza, to find an empty table just outside, and you use your breack to rest your feet from your daily walks through the village. Rainbow Dash takes a set in across from you at the table. A waiter appears next to you both, and you just order “the usual”, but Rainbow orders a Strawberry Milkshake. “But with two straws, and extra sweet!” Dash nervously adds almost with a cuffed yell before the waiter leaves. “Extra sweet?” you remark, surprised by the order, not even sure of whether or not you've had taken breakfast together before. “Don’t you have to look after your figure, or something, if you want to become a Wonderbolt?” But Dash only shrugs, “It’s for the energy” Dash replies weakly. It sounds a bit suspicious to you, and maybe it's because you haven't taken your breakfast yet, but you buy it. Most places don’t serve meat. Even if you haven’t tried every restaurant across all of Equestria you assume that none of them do. This particular place has a menu with eggs, cheese, and even fried things, like potato chips, and potato fries. You once tried the hay fries. but your body ended rejecting them, and you didn't enjoy the taste much either, that fact alone made the owner of the restaurant sell some new dishes created just for you, like fried potatoes and such, fact to which you show your thankfulness by being a regular client of the place. After a few moments of awkward silence, your companion’s order arrives; a pink strawberry milkshake in a tall frosty glass, complete with whipped cream, a couple of crispy waffle cookies in roll, two straws, and a cherry on top. Having arrived first but remains untouched out of what you assume is just friendly courtesy. "Hey, that's loaded, I should oderded that everyday" you comment, a little jealous of how much sugar a pony is able of metabolizing. “It's a Hearts and Hooves Day especial. Do you want some?” Dash offers giving you the end of a straw. But, seriously, after seeing all those couples drinking beverages from twin straws, you now find it a little weird to do the same with Rainbow. Luckily your own beverage arrives; Coffee with cream and sugar. Now, back at home many of your friends would have made fun of you for not ordering black coffee, but that doesn’t seems to matter anymore; you’re the only one even drinking coffee in this town for far as you know. “No thanks, I’m fine,” you answer in a polite tone, while still waiting your breakfast. Dash takes a couple small sips from the milkshake. “Strawberry Milkshake, that’s a good name for a foal” you say trying to reanimate a primordially dead conversation. “Well, anything's better that a made up word like 'Dave'.” Dash strikes back. Used to just being called 'human' you don’t really have anything to reply. After all you are the only human in Ponyville You’re not the only human living in Equestria, but most of them made their homes in more populated and lively places like Manehattan or Hoofington. Still you rather enjoy the peace and quiet of the little town. At the beginning you were nervous about interacting with the magical creatures. Just as much they were nervous about you wandering in their town; but you’ve developed a good relationship with all of them in your time here. No longer more than just a freak, you became the proud representative of your kind in the town. “Hey Dash, don’t you have any clouds to kick today?” “On Hearts and Hooves Day you can just stop working, you know. Besides, I’m in charge.” “No one Miss the boss? Not to mention it’s a perfectly clear day” You add making Dash caugh a little into the milkshake like after receiving a low blow. You both have discussed it before, and you always held that the weather control if convenient, is completely useless; since you arrived the two of you have competed to argue your perspectives for what it seems like forever and any opportunity to score a point is never passed down. Soon your eggs and bread made their way to your table, while Rainbow Dash still taking care of the milkshake. Your eggs feel somehow lonely without beacon, but half a year ago, or something like that, the day came that you thought you could no longer live without meat. Armed with a crude bow and a couple of home made arrows, your attempt at hunting a bunny, ended with a bear chasing you, and Fluttershy giving you a condemning stare of hers after that. To this day you've been too afraid to try again, of her wrathful gaze, not the bear. With you breakfast finishing its way from your plate to your mouth, Rainbow quickly and unceremoniously gulped down the rest of the frothy pink milkshake. Feeling content and very full, you pat your belly a little, “So, Dash, what’s up? Anything you want to talk about?” you ask with a little grin. “Well… maybe…” Dash states like trying to avoiding the subject, which doesn’t sounds like the Dash you know. “Come on, tell me, do you want I move my political influences with the Equestrian government to grant you a particular audition with the Wonderbolts?” “Nah… pff! Can you do that?!” “Noooo… I don’t... think so, but I've never tried” “Any case, it’s not that” “Well, then what?” “Well, you know.... it’s Hearts and Hooves Day!” “Yeah, I haven’t forgot. What’s up with today? Do I need to buy a present for my friends or something?” “Well... gifts are nice and all, but mainly you’re supposed to spend time with a very special somepony.” Dash lets out a little burp, a blush clearly contrasting in a sky-blue coat when the strawberry smell in the air becomes noticeable. “So I've been told. Pinkie was weird this morning with ‘Let’s have a picnic!’ you know. More weird than Pinkie weirdness, it was a little scary.” “Yeah, yeah, yeah. Sure, I know… The thing is…” “So, do you need me to help you catch somepony you like? Do you want me to help delaying a clock or something?” “What?! NO!! I'm already spending time with him.” Dash sais pointing a hoof to you. “Ho- Hoho” you coldly laugh off, as Santa Claus could after a bad joke, “Well, I’m… very, what's the word in Equestrian? Um, lets say... flattered? But wouldn't you rather spend time with a stallion, or maybe mare. You know, if that’s in what you’re into. I just mean, another pony? “No” Dash said crestfallen. “Why does everypony think I like mares?” “Well, you're a stallion, and...” You said, somehow feeling the world crumbling for the stare of Rainbow Dash alone, or maybe it did crumble down inside of... her? “… or not” you add, starting to doubt in what your eyes tell you. “I’m no stallion, for your information I’m a beautiful, slender mare, with the body of a goddess!” She replies back, but you have seen how a goddess looks here before, in the princess themselves, and you may not be the sharpest eye in Equestria, but you know she doesn’t look anything near to a goddess as she just claimed. “Ho... so you’re a mare!… then that time, when I swam naked in the lake with you…” “Yes! I put my eye on you that day.” You have no better strategic move than a tactical facepalm in this moment. You don’t want to think about how cold the water was that day, or the fact that stallions are supposed to have larger private parts than humans. After deploy your strategy, and without anything to save you, like a hydra eating you on the spot, you decide to play it cool and try your best poker face to remedy the situation. “Ok, sorry, I can’t just hide my private parts like the males from this place seem to do” “Don’t worry; I’m not mad at you. That was actually… attractive, if you ask me” she says half closing her eyes and smirking back. “Hmm... what’s up with your look? Are you feeling well?" “This is my sexy face!” *Sure* you think, *Right, a sexy goddess you are, sure* “You could have said something back then!!” You shout, abruptly breaking your poker face. “I thought you were giving me a show! And I was enjoining it!!” she yelled back. Every pony in the square seemed to suddenly stop all at once to stare. “Well, I never heard of anyone, anypony I mean, refer to you as ‘She’ or ‘Her’, just… Rainbow, Dash, or Dashie” You explain while leaning in closer, and lowering your tone for a more private… explanation. "What?!" She mini-yells at you, slamming her hooves on the table bringing her face closer to yours, "What else could you have thought when I allowed you to watch my secret training?!” “Your secret training! How was that a secret?! You invited me to watch you fly around above public park!” “And my body doesn't look anything like a stallion's; you need to be blind and deaf to think I’m stallion!” “I- I thought you were just young, you know, because of how show off you act sometimes” “I don’t show off!, I’m the best young flier all over Equestria!” “You see! Young! Young flyer, and why you never want to go at the spa with rarity or anyone -anypony else.” “Come closer!” “What?!” "Wanna Kiss?" Dash says closing her eyes and puckering her lips. “What!? No!” You shoot back, hurriedly leaning back in your seat. She opens an eye and you can’t evade notice her wide spread wings closing before she goes back to her seat. “Don’t worry!” she exclaims bouncing on her chair for a while, “Nopony really cares, Hearts and Hooves Day is about spend time with your somepony----" “Ah…” You cut her off. “Somepony! Some-Pony.” “Yeah. Well, Hearts and Hooves Day is for everypony so, or... how do you say? one?" "I'm pretty sure it was meant for someone with hooves" You say flapping your fingers near her face, movement strangely followed by her with eyes and head. "It's about find a very special somepony, or some... A special someone!” She answer nonchalantly, breaking eye contact with your hands. “Ah...” You sigh in resignation, she doesn’t appear to understands what you're trying to get across. “Besides, you know what other ponies say about human hands?” She whispers with her sultry face on again. Hands, yeah, you have a couple of those, you think to yourself, not too sure of what she’s getting at. “Pegasi form other cities say that they works wonders on a couple of sore wings” After all those times seeing her fly around since you arrived you’re really starting to wonder if you could even outrun her if you were to just turn around now and haul ass away. “Look, Dash. I don’t really feel any attraction towards you. Blue isn’t really an attractive color for me, it seems like something drowned, or froze. Besides, you know I have a human girlfriend in Manehattan, why do you think I would cheat on her for you?” “Sexual tension!” “What?! Sexual tension? Really? I didn’t even know you were a mare, and to be honest I kind of enjoyed our friendly fights, but I don’t feel any kind of sexual tension between us” “You told me your marefr-, I mean girlfriend, hasn’t written in a long time!” “Three days! I told you yesterday; that’s not a long time, and Derpy probably hasn’t delivered the letter yet. It won’t be the first time that's happened!” “Well, if you were my coltfriend–" “Which I’m not” you interrupt her. "–I won’t be writing you letters from another city for just some more bits, I would be with you, specially on this day.” “Oh, Dash…” you just stare at her, unsure of what to do; if run away like a crazy man, or fake a heart attack. You know how good friend ‘she’ is, but she’s also too cocky for your taste, and you just don’t want to touch that point because you don’t want to hurt her feelings. “But I’m not a colt” you just say before leave the bits for both breakfasts in the table and pet her mane. “Look for a nice stallion Dash, I already found a nice girl.” And you walk away without look behind.