Substitute Harmony

by blayzekohime


Chapter 6: Awaking Ancient Evils for Fun and Profit


Laughter echoed through the large stone chamber as the six heroes stared at the chained creature. The echoes of the laughter rattling so loudly that the whole structure seemed alive with it. This had been going on for several minutes now, ever since the force field was released, and had continued ever since, going slowly from terrifying to wholly intolerable.

“Well he is certainly happy about something,” Inkie calmly asserted, sitting on her haunches with both hooves over her ears, “Blinkie dear. Please stop laughing too; you are just encouraging it.”

“I say we let him go!” Blinkie laughed, before being silenced as Inkie casually shoved one hoof into her mouth, causing Blinkie’s cheeks to momentarily poof out.

“Maybe he’s not so bad?” Pinkie suggested, “I mean usually somepony that laughs that much isn’t dangerous right?” All the same, Pinkie was twitching at the sound of the rather hoarse laughter, as if maybe it disturbed even her just a little bit.

“The Great and Powerful Trixie believes that is the other way around, Pink One,” Trixie sat on her haunches, her horn glowing as she summoned a pair of blue, poofy ear-muffs to temporarily protect her ears from the horrible noise. She then lay down on her belly with her forelegs folded in front of her, seeming upset that her ‘best evil laugh’ position was in jeopardy.

“What are you talking about?” Gilda sneered, “I have yet to meet a pony that wasn’t dangerous. It’s all ‘love and friendship’ until they get slightly upset over some trivial thing, then it’s all out the window and they start trying to kill each other with party gags.” Maybe Gilda still had some minor issues left over from her previous visit to Ponyville, “I may be a prick, but at least I’m stable.”

“And honest!” Pinkie pointed out to Gilda, smiling slightly. All this laughter actually had Pinkie’s mane slowly inflating again, and though no one heard the noise of her mane inflating again over the echoing of the chamber, soon she was looking like her normal self again.

“Aw man,” Ditzy sat in the door to the chambers, still lamenting the group’s collective mistakes, “This sort of thing is why I got kicked out to begin with; he’ll never take me back in again at this rate.”

The voice suddenly went from laughing to gagging and after a few seconds of what sounded like smoker’s cough, it finally quieted down. The occupant of the chains then cleared his throat, his wide open eyes shrinking slightly to a more normal expression. He even tried to smile, though his razor sharp teeth showing between the chains didn’t make it easy for him to look nice.

“Sorry,” the alicorn’s voice boomed through the room, “No really, I’m sorry. This is kind of embarrassing. It’s just these magic chains tickle something fierce, so I’ve been holding that in for… well I assume a really long time given the condition of this place. I’m not normally like this, honest.”

There was a moment of silence, all eyes on the creature in chains.

“So I can’t help but notice none of you recognize who I am,” the alicorn casually guessed. He seemed encouraged by this as he continued, “You girls are here to let me go from these chains, right? Served my time? Getting out on good behavior? I mean it’s not like I could even do anything considered bad behavior here. Well, is it?”

“He seems pretty nice!” Pinkie decided, “Maybe he can help us rescue our friends?”

Blinkie pushed Inkie’s hoof away, then helpfully suggested, “Hey. If we blow him up, do you think you could pull off another one of those swirly blue things, Trixie?”

“The Great and Powerful Trixie asserts that somepony chained him up for a reason,” Trixie shook her head to Pinkie, then turned towards Blinkie, “Trixie approves of her faithful minion’s suggestion.”

Inkie calmly chimed in, “Well you know. If he could be killed like that, they would probably have just blown him up instead of locking him up for all eternity.”

“Maybe if we cover him up with some blankets or something, nopony will notice he’s been unleashed upon the world,” suggested Ditzy, helpfully.

Gilda sighed, “You know, I hate to point this out, but this guy is probably the only one that knows the way out of here.”

“Do what to me?” the alicorn said, “Yeah well that wouldn’t kill me; alicorns generally can’t die via conventional means or most other means really. All the same, I’d rather you not do it because it would really hurt. Not to mention it would probably kill all of you given the condition of this place. Then I’d be buried under rocks for another thousand years. Believe me, being nigh indestructible is not all it’s cracked up to be.” He blinked once, as if he was suddenly unsure if he should have added that last part, and then continued quickly, “But saaaaay, you know you mentioned rescuing friends and that just happens to be one of my favorite pastimes! Not to mention, I most certainly do know how to get out of here.” His eyes then moved about the room again, seeming to visibly wonder something, “Question! Sorry, I probably should have asked this earlier. How exactly did you lower the force field? I could have sworn they said only a special sort of power could do that.”

“I pressed the button!” Pinkie proclaimed, proudly, “Hey! Maybe we could have a party with him anyway. I mean even if he was all chained up, we could put a little party hat on him and-”

“That might have been too much information sister dear,” Inkie calmly moved her hoof to ram it into Pinkie’s muzzle this time, “I do not think he would have very much fun at that party anyway. Besides, maybe he is not immortal but the ponies that arrested him did not have a death penalty and he got ‘life in prison’ instead. I suppose it is a bad thing not to age in that case. Who put you here?”

“Huh,” the alicorn’s eyes suddenly shifted to Pinkie, “And pressing the button isn’t enough. Which means YOU are holding an Element of Harmony? Laughter I’m guessing, which is my FAVORITE by the way. Unless these others are the other Elements, in which case they’re all my favorites.” His eyes shifted to the others, “And no, actually. Alicorns do age if deprived of their power for long enough; you’ll find that out when you release me. You are releasing me, right? Anyway my own ponies put me here because of a misunderstanding. That's my story and I'm sticking to it.”

“The Chained One said ‘nigh’ indestructible, which means he can be destroyed!” Trixie suggested, “His previous captors did not have the Great and Powerful Trixie to come to their aid in their dire time of need, so they have placed him in a neat little package, hoping that the prophesied Trixie would arrive!”

“Oh for crying out loud,” Gilda shot at Trixie, “Not everything in the world revolves around you!” She turned to the alicorn, “Not on your life! I’m not some Element of Lameness. We just sorta ended up here with her while she was looking for the other ones. I dunno, they got dragged off or somethin’.”

Ditzy, who despite lamenting the awakening did not seem awfully intimidated by evil overlords, flew right up to the chained alicorn. She hovered a mere foot away, “So why’d the timey whimey bubble bring us here anyway? Was the power from your restraints sending a signal through space-time itself? Is the blue thing in the other room a deactivated spatial-temporal hyperlink between worlds and times?”

“Oh okay,” the alicorn responded to Gilda, “Well those must be the friends you’re looking for. In that case… wait.” His eyes shifted suddenly towards Ditzy, wide with surprise. They then narrowed slightly as he spoke, “You just reminded me of somepony else. That’s creepy.” His eyes shifted to Ditzy’s flank as if to check something, but then continued, “Right. Well aren’t you just a clever pony, if redundant; it’s really more of a spacial hyperlink only since it’s not really temporal, truth be told. It’s not meant to be at least.”

“Nopony’s ever called me clever before! Seriously?” Ditzy turned upside down mid-air, her eyes seeming to roll with her, but in opposite directions, “Especially when I'm just making words up.”

The alicorn responded, “Look. I can turn the link back on, since I can power it with my own energy, but you have to let me go so I can do that. After that you can go anywhere and I won’t care.” His eyes shifted to Trixie, perhaps attempting to butter her up a bit so she didn’t go caving things in on him, “Did I mention how great you look in that hat? I can tell you’re alicorn material just by looking at you. Turning unicorns into alicorns is one of the things I can do by the way. ”

“I still say we let him go,” Blinkie repeated as she grinned sadistically, now circling the chained up alicorn, looking him over as if sizing him up for a split roast. She suggested, “We should do another vote. My vote’s in.”

“Either way could someone please keep that one within my line of sight,” the alicorn referred to Blinkie, “She’s making me very nervous.”

“I say we need to find a party hat,” Pinkie responded with a non-answer.

“Abstain,” Inkie shrugged.

“I still like my idea with the blankets better,” Ditzy chimed in as she landed on the wall aside from the entrance.

“Are you all out of your minds?” Gilda yelled, then face-clawed, “No wait. Never mind, again.”

“The Great and Powerful Trixie has decided that the Chained One should be released!” Trixie had a change of heart at the offer, “Now peons; watch in AWE as the Great and Powerful-”

“Ahem! Yeah I’m gonna cut you off right there,” the alicorn interrupted, politely, “You don’t really need to do some big ritual thing. Now that the field is gone, all you really have to do is press the blue button next to the pink one. Could you hurry? They’re sort of starting to tickle again.” He stifled a chuckle.

Trixie glared at the alicorn, and then trotted over towards the console. An air of uneasiness permeated the room, but none moved forward to stop her.

“Watch in AWE as the Great and Powerful Trixie releases the Chained One from his bondage!” Trixie slammed her hoof down on the button in as theatrical a manner as possible.

There was a soft creaking noise, then a whirring of magic all around them as the chains glowed brightly. The sound of grinding stone and rattling chains filled the room as the team of heroes backed towards the exit. Trixie, despite having started this process, backed out of the room entirely, ducking behind the others. Pinkie looked as if she was going to walk right up to see it closer, but Inkie and Blinkie collectively pulled her back out of the room as well. Soon the team was tucked away in the hallway, watching around the door frame.

There was a sharp clank, then with incredible speed the chains released and were sucked into the floor and ceiling. The alicorn screamed like a little filly as the chains ended up grinding into him as they were pulled away; probably not the most intimidating way for a supposed ancient evil to be released. When they were finally clear, he landed on the pedestal, wobbled for a few moments, then collapsed to the floor; definitely not the most dignified re-entry that he could have made into the world.

With that, the room went dark, the only light left being the glowing buttons at the consoles. They were joined shortly by the glowing red eyes of the alicorn as he opened them once again. They were squinted, as if in severe pain.

“Ow. Ow. OW. That. Really. Chaffed,” the alicorn gritted his sharp teeth, speaking between them, trembling atop the pedestal, “I mean seriously, you have. No. Idea.”

“Wow,” Pinkie piped up, “Almost that same thing happened to me at a party once!”

“Is this the part where you cackle and call us foals for releasing you?” Ditzy asked inquisitively, flapping her wings and rising into the air outside of the hallway despite the darkness

“No, not really,” the voice boomed back, the eyes relaxing, “I’m not really here for the reason you’re probably thinking, actually.” The creature could be heard shifting around, making a noise as if he were slowly stretching. He suddenly added, as if just remembering, “Oh and light. Phew, I’m getting out of practice.”

With that, a glow from his horn filled the stone chambers with light as bright as a sun, radiating outwards to cover the walls, showing off every design and crevice. It hadn’t really been apparent how large the structure was until now, or how bare it was. There were points along the wall that looked as if they had once contained other furniture, or perhaps more consoles, but they were all gone now.

Front and center was the alicorn that they had just released; he was the focus of everyone’s attention. He was tall, roughly the same size as Princess Celestia, and looked somehow if he might have been quite beautiful at one time. Now, however, he might have been mistaken for a corpse had he not been moving around. His coat was splotchy, alternating between mold-yellow fur and sickly green skin, several parts of his flesh missing entirely. He was terribly emaciated, his belly caved in down to his ribs, the muscles that showed through his missing skin looking dry and rotten. His mane and tail were virtually non-existent, just a few strands remaining of whatever had been there before, certainly not flowing or magical as they were used to seeing about their princess.

Perhaps the most disturbing part however, was his missing cutie mark. It wasn’t missing as if he were a blank-flank, but rather there was a portion of flesh that had obviously been cut away on each flank in a neat square. It was as if his captors had wanted to humiliate him prior to his binding. Whoever this was, he was either so evil as to deserve a colossal punishment, or was a victim of something unimaginably wrong himself.

Needless to say, a collective gasp echoed through the room as it was filled with light, even the so far unflappable Ditzy suddenly backing against the wall mid-flight, nearly losing all of her altitude. For a long moment, they stared at him, the alicorn staring right back at them with a slightly confused expression.

“It’s the zombie pony!” Pinkie finally exclaimed, then promptly pointed at him and started laughing hysterically in self-defense.

“You look like you’ve had a rough stay,” Gilda just stared, forgetting to be rude for once, actually sounding as if she felt really bad for him.

His eyes then focused into realization as he spoke, “Oh! Sorry about that, I probably should have warned you earlier. I’m not repairing my injuries yet because I’m afraid if I use what power I have to heal that, I’ll not have enough left to power the teleport. I need to get outside and get some sun, and doubt I can teleport myself without the... well the thing in there.” His eyes went to Pinkie, who was still laughing up a storm, and he added more quietly, “Small request: Could some pony put a cork in Laughter? That’s making me a bit self-conscious; I can’t tell if she’s laughing at or with me.”

“Pinkie,” Inkie reached out and calmly plugged Pinkie’s mouth with a hoof, once again, “Do not be rude to the awoken evil from beyond time itself. I am pretty sure he is not a ghostie anyway.”

Pinkie’s laughter died down, no one else speaking for a moment. The alicorn looked very nervous now, eyes shifting back and forth as he finally just started to walk forward. Bones cracked, the sound of muscle sinew tearing heard with each of his movements, and he would stagger from time to time as if his knees were near to giving out. His teeth were gritted tightly, as if every movement caused him intense pain and he was trying to play it off for the sake of appearances.

The heroes moved out of the hall and out of his way, quickly splitting apart and making a path for the wretched creature. He looked extremely self-conscious as he passed them, heading down the hallway, his bright horn seeming to dim to adjust to the smaller space there.

Even Trixie’s eyes were huge. In fact, she actually looked like she might be about to tear up as she spoke with a whisper, “Trixie has never felt more pity than she feels now for the Chained One…”

“What are you ponies talking about?” Blinkie grinned, “That guy is awesome! Do you realize how quickly the kidnappers are going to run when they realize that thing is on our side? All he has to do is stagger towards them and chant ‘graaaaaains’.”

“You guys are just adorable,” the alicorn spoke back at them in a slightly sarcastic tone, “And you make so many productive comments. Can’t we all just get along?”

The group slowly followed him back through the hallway, all the way back to the room in which they had first appeared. The alicorn stood at the blue base in this room, silently staring at it. His horn dimmed slightly more, mist gathering around him slowly and then floating into the device, almost as if he were examining it.

Ditzy landed in the room with him first, having flown ahead of the others and landing right next to him. The wall-eyed pony looked up at him, a frown on her face, and spoke quietly, “I’m sorry if I made you feel bad before.” She actually leaned forward and gave him a hug, his flesh giving slightly with a rotten sound to even the slightest pressure.

His eyes got wide at that, waiting for her to pull away before he spoke again, “Don’t apologize yet, you might not be sorry later.” He took a deep breath, then continued speaking even as he analyzed the device, “So first things first: tell me your story and how you got here, because none of you know who I am, which means it’s been a lot longer than I thought or I’m missing something here.”

The group told him their stories so far, at least as far as they related to the situation. Pinkie did most of the telling, as she was the only one that had seen their enemies. Others piped up from time to time, telling less relevant stories: Ditzy tried to cut in with a story about some muffins she baked earlier that morning and Trixie tried to find reasons to include stories about her own potentially made-up deeds.

Gilda, for her part, started ignoring the story about half way through, instead pulling the saddle bags off her back that she had been carrying for so long and starting to sift through their contents.

Once they got to the part of the story about the final battle, all of them were speaking at once. Trixie took great pleasure in explaining how she managed to link into the Princess, and what’s more, the alicorn seemed to take great interest in this.

The alicorn asked, quite slowly, “And this ‘her Majesty’. What is her name?”

“Princess Celestia!” Pinkie answered before anyone else could, “She rules over all of Equestria, and makes the sun rise every day. Hey! What’s your name anyway?”

The creature seemed to freeze up, his eyes narrowing to thin slits, his teeth once again gritting together as he spoke between them, “Celestia. Well that explains a few things; I suppose given that we speak the same language, it'd make sense if you are from a sister world. And my name is Helios. 'Ring any bells?”

For a moment he just sat there, gnashing his teeth, his muscles visibly tightened in anger. Inkie moved in front of the others in an act of pre-emptive protection, and Blinkie slowly reached her maw into her saddlebag, seeming to poke around and look for something once again.

“Nope! Sure doesn’t, but now that we know each other’s names, we can be the best of friends!” Pinkie appeared to be unaware of the tension now that she was in a better mood.

“Dude,” Gilda was the only one both honest and brave enough to ask, looking up half way through reading something, “You look pissed; did you know her?”

“Know her?” his eyes suddenly went back to their normal shape, “It’s possible! I was straining really hard to try to remember everything, you know; rotten brain and all. Anyway, some of that explains a lot, like I might have mentioned.“

Helios kicked a brittle hoof against the device, causing it to open up to reveal an array of crystals within, glowing alterations of blue and yellow, each engraved with a different symbol, many of which matched the unknown runes on the walls. The crystal slots were in a matrix at least six deep, in a circle at least forty crystals in circumference. Still, he looked into it as if he knew what everything was, his horn glowing softly as he began to move things about.

“Based on that and some other things, I’m going to make a few deductions,” he spoke as he continued working, switching the more cracked crystals for better ones, though none of them were in pristine condition, apparently arranging them so that the ones he needed were the least worn, “None of you know who I am, therefore none of you are from this world. You’ve traveled here accidentally through a portal. Unicorn, the strain of such a spell should have torn you all apart, and I have no idea how it didn’t, unless of course the alicorn you were draining was actively protecting you from your own nonsense. Either way, you probably just arrived here because it was the point of least resistance. These worlds used to all be connected together through a system of portals, so some of the rift probably remained open. The good news is that means I can get you back IF I can figure out the location of the rift entrance on your world.”

“I am betting there is bad news too,” Inkie put that statement out there for him to chew on.

“There usually is!” Ditzy agreed, “I just want to go home. Dinky’s probably gotten into the muffin jar by now.”

“Well there’s a few things, actually,” Helios spoke as he closed up the device, latching it back into place, “First of all, I’ll need to know the exact location on your world to target this to, since I don’t really know where the portal is there. Secondly, I can only give it enough energy right now to transport one pony to the surface, and that is going to have to be me. Once outside, I can get as much energy as I want from the sun and then teleport supplies down. If you haven’t figured out a location for me by then, perhaps I can find one myself, but it will really help if you can come up with something.” He took a deep breath then, “I know I promised to help you find your friends, but I really don’t think I should leave this world. Alicorns tend to get tied to their own planet after taking care of them for a while. We’re just going to have to say me getting you back home is enough of a trade-off for saving me.”

Helios pushed the platform down hard as he closed it, and there was a loud buzzing as if something had been connected. Suddenly the previously dark lamps on the stone walls were aglow with magical flame, filling the air with the smell of burning dust and grime, temporarily making the air even harder to breath than before.

The heroes stared at Helios as he then rose up onto the platform, looking down at them with intense eyes. None of them tried to stop him from leaving. Somehow, his eyes said that he really did intend to return.

There was a flash of blue light from the platform, swirling around him and spiraling into a brief vortex of energy. As quickly as it formed, he was gone, and it was once again fading away.

--------------------------------------

Helios’ mind filled with possibilities. Could he still save his world, or was it too late? He felt bad, somehow, for not telling his rescuers everything, even if he hadn't lied either. They had held up their side of the bargain, after all. Then again, he fully intended to fill his side of the bargain as well, to the letter if not to the spirit of the agreement.

The vortex pulled him outside, landing him on the surface just as he had intended. What met him there was not what he expected, though perhaps he should have. The planet’s sun beat down on him, engulfed in a swirl of intense heat. The land around him was barren in every sense, rolling hills replaced by dry sands, the bare remains of ancient buildings scorched and torn apart in the endless heat, no sign of visible life anywhere.

The sun stood in the sky, unmoving since who knew how long. Its stooping low above the horizon was the sole reason that he hadn't been immediately fried. So this was what was left of his world? Half was a desert and the other half would no doubt be frozen over; was he really this late?

“You told me you could keep it moving forever! Why didn’t you let me help?” Helios yelled upwards towards the sun and to no pony in particular, his voice full of rage as the heat from the glowing ball above him began to sear at what was left of his flesh. Tears formed in his eyes only to immediately vaporize in the heat of the deserted surface.

He gathered energy from the sunlight, but the heat was damaging his flesh just as fast as he could regenerate it, the intense heat both his source of life and his bane for the moment. His mind raced once again, trying to move his senses outward to detect any hint of a surviving settlement.

“Is that possible?” he murmured quietly within his own mind.

Not questioning what he had found, he gathered what energy he could without overstaying his welcome on the surface before his body blinked away in a sudden flash of white light, targeting himself on the hint of life that he had found.