Changeling Heart and the New Moon
chapter twenty one
The first thing Luna thought of as strange was that she could not see. Nothing at all, which meant a great deal considering that even in the blackest night she could see quite clearly, so that while she often lived in the shadows, the absolute void she found herself in was still new to her.
She reached for her magic only to feel its curious absence, and a moment later she tried to flap wings that no longer seemed to exist. Perplexed, but not unduly worried, the princess raised her hoof to her eye, an exercise that proved entirely pointless as far as sight was concerned.
By sense of touch, however, the simple motion made her muscles sing a strange cacophony of ache and complaint, one so alien and captivating that she ignored the discomfort entirely to repeat it.
It was all so unfamiliar to Luna - still entirely bereft of sight - that she found the easiest option to believe was that she was not herself. Satisfied with the explanation that this was not her slender, gracious body and still caught up in the novelty of soreness, Luna pushed herself forwards.
It was slow going, if such a thing had any relevance in this endless dark. The limbs she found herself with had a shorter gait then her own, creaking and complaining for every step.
She felt as if she should know who and where she was, but the answers were as obscured as everything else. Answers would be made apparent...or they wouldn’t. In either case it was fine.
Luna had never feared the dark. For her to do so would be as odd as her subjects fearing the light of day that they relished and loved so much. Luna halted, and if anything the aches only grew angrier with her for breaking their rickety rhythm.
It wasn’t true. She did fear the dark. Sometimes. Things within it that, as if cued in by her thoughts, filled the empty void with menace.
The princess spurred her protesting body to a walk, but for all the effort it did nothing. If she even moved at all, the feeling of being surrounded bore down on her as much as ever, matching her step for step.
With a knowing that did not need senses, she knew that something closed in around her. Her eyes darting left and right despite the futility of it. Her breathing quickened and Luna gasped with the realization of how cold it was, not to her mind, but to this feeble body.
Closer, closer, and gaining ravenous speed. No escape. Her heart pounded-
And then it did something altogether more. With a single beat so hard it made Luna choke and fall to her knees, pale light flashed from her chest. Darkness became light, but there was nothing in it to be illuminated. Still choking and needing to breath, she just managed to catch sight of the last of the black, wormy tendrils as they snaked away from the light. She could feel their frustration. They had been so close only to be thwarted.
The light was already fading as she caught the ragged edge of her breath and stood. She could barely walk for how her chest felt, twisted and broken, but she had no choice. With a few steps more her sanctuary of pale luminescence was gone, and the grasping darkness closed in once more.
Again her heart surged, and Luna screamed in pain as she collapsed. Again the threads of living darkness scattered, though she hardly noticed them for the twisted, pounding pain crashing through her ribcage. Each beat of her heart hurt her, and she could do nothing but curl in on herself and plead silently with it to slow, to rest and spare her the hurt.
As the things closed in once more Luna felt dread. Not of the darkness, but of the light. Choking and crying, she wished the tendrils haste. If they could just get to her, they could spare her that hurt, spare her a heart bent on shattering itself.
Luna almost smiled as she felt them surge over her, dozens, then hundreds. As one, they reared up like so many scorpion stings, and though she could see nothing of it, it was a comfort to shut her eyes.
They opened all the wider as her chest scrunched up in agony. No, please, no! she begged of it, but her heart wouldn’t heed her. Finding some last reserve of strength, the broken, quivering heart poured its last into a final, agonizing surge of beautiful moonlight that tore them all apart.
“Luna? Luna, is something the matter?” Celestia asked.
“No. Nothing,” Luna said, shaking her head as she pulled away from her reverie and, by extension, her sister’s welcoming touch. The night princess had walked without warning or hesitation into her sister’s chambers with first light. In turn, Celestia had dropped everything for her. Her big sister’s total lack of hesitation gave her heart some much needed warmth. She did not normally come to Celestia in the mornings, and it was plain to see that the white alicorn was both pleased and worried by Luna’s odd behaviour.
There was Celestia’s concern, plain on her face, and here was Luna, repaying love with secrets and lies.
“I was just thinking about the Elements,” Luna said. While it wasn’t true, such thoughts had lurked at the back of her mind for some time. “Much has changed since the days we were forced to bear them. Our world. Ourselves. Yet they are as much the same as ever. They have never really stopped steering our lives.”
Celestia sighed and her wings hung limp beside her. Then, quite against Luna’s expectations, her big sister smiled a sad, little smile. “More than a thousand years removed from Honesty and you are still a bad liar. I can see enough to know it’s troubling you. Speak to me, please,” she implored.
Luna rested her head on Celestia’s shoulder. “How far must I fall to go beyond the scope of even your kindness?” she asked. She had not meant her words to be so grim, but all the same they tasted something of ash on her lips, and both alicorns frowned. “I did not mean...”
“I know. It’s alright. Let’s not dwell on it.” Luna met her sister’s eyes and nodded.
“The present coterie is strong. Not what I would have expected...” At this, Celestia laughed, like the chiming of soft bells.
“Nor did they expect a princess quite like you,” she said, laying a wing over Luna’s shoulder.
“I get carried away.” Luna playfully batted Celestia’s wing away with her own, and she too laughed.
It was a good moment that, like all before, passed all too soon. It was not fair, to break the ice only to see it refreeze before her eyes. Again, the air between Luna and Celestia felt cold, and terse.
Luna glared at the floor. “I do not want this to end with them.”
“What do you mean?” Celestia moved closer, until Luna could feel the warmth of her body, though it did little to thaw the chill in Luna’s own.
“The Elements. I do not want to see the first step of initiative I’ve taken since a town’s public holiday ending in those lights.” Did Luna hate the Elements of Harmony? Certainly not the bearers, no, and she valued the virtues each embodied as much as anypony, but still it was there inside her. All that power beholden to nothing beyond itself. There was no fairness to it. Even when she had stood for them, the consequences had not been kind.
Celestia pulled her into an embrace, one Luna did not resist. “I still wish it had been me,” the white alicorn began, “that leapt into...his vengeance. Not you.”
Luna didn’t move, only closing her eyes, listening to her sister breathe. “You can say his name. Discord. It is alright, sister. His power over me faded. A long time ago.” Luna dared to hope her sister would not catch this lie, feeling terrible inside every second it hung in the air. “We played the parts we were made to back then. It was never your fault.”
For a time, Celestia’s breathing was deep and even, but strained. Forced to be presentable, Luna felt. “Celestia. It is all right. Truly, it is.” Luna’s words did not ease her sister as she had hoped they would.
“I couldn’t save you from Discord-”
“Celestia...”
“I couldn’t save you from Nightmare Moon...”
“Celestia!” Luna called. Not loudly, but her voice was stern. The dark princess broke away from her sister, only so that she could turn back to stare Celestia in the eye. “I do not see Nightmare Moon here now. Let it be. One foalish, distraught alicorn is enough.”
Celestia grimaced, a rare expression to cross - and, in doing so, blight - her beautiful features. “And yet we have three. Shining Armor came to speak to me last night. He had some distressing things to say.” Luna’s heart went to racing in her chest, a most distressing feeling.
As much as she wanted to shout out the right words, any words, Luna said nothing. Though her heart pounded, outwardly she felt as if she cooled and darkened.
“The good captain acted far out of line.”
“He feels differently.”
Luna huffed indignantly. “You cannot possibly take his side.”
“I didn’t say I had,” Celestia said as she furled her wings. “I’m not trying to take anypony’s side. I don’t want any ponies to be on different sides.”
“It was an illusion,” Luna grumbled. “I needed to intimidate them quickly. It was just an illusion of Nightmare. Nothing more.” She stared, unblinking, daring Celestia to challenge her words, feeling wretched every moment of it.
Celestia broke away and sighed. If she suspected something, the white alicorn did not act on it here.
“Cadance supported his suggestion.”
“To humiliate myself before our subjects with a pointless magical insight?” Luna practically hissed. Is this really me?
Celestia put a hoof to Luna’s shoulder. “Luna. I don’t agree with his methods, or his unchecked anger, but the idea has merit. It would put our subjects at ease, to see you as I do, and not suspect some influence upon you.”
Luna turned away and made to leave, so that Celestia would not see the tears that threatened. “Maybe ‘our subjects’ should learn to trust me. Maybe ‘our subjects’ should learn to look at me and just see me. Or am I always to be the ghost of a fallen martyr, living in the shadow of monsters?”
“Luna!” her sister pleaded, but she slammed the doors in Celestia’s face as she fled.
Secrets and lies. I’m nothing but secrets and lies, Luna thought, and the tears broke past her resolve.
Luna stormed into her chambers, startling the twinned pegasi as they had a late breakfast. Her magic drew open the bedside stand hard enough to tear the hinges and she dropped the broken drawer on the floor.
Wax was thumping on his chest, choking on the meal while Wane - who had hardly touched his - called out in alarm. “Princess!” he shouted, while Luna grasped the magical collar pendant in her grasp. With a surge of darkness, it disappeared into the depths of her magic.
“If you have any love for me at all, do not follow me. I need to be alone.” Luna drew breath, and as she sighed it brought her some little piece of composure. “I will be back,” she said, her voice softened.
She opened the window - the curtains billowing - and leapt into flight.
A half-dozen changelings stood around their Queen, each and every one of them wide-eyed with disbelief. Chrysalis cocked her head left just as they did, as if she were merely the largest facet of the little group. As one, they turned their heads to the right. After a few more seconds, they came back to the upright position.
“I don’t get it,” the Queen said.
The nearest unfortunate changeling coughed politely. “Well, m’ Queen, see ‘ow it says ‘Consort with Changelings’ at t’ top?”
“Yes?”
“Well...t’ ponies behind ‘is are... are...” The little creature couldn’t bring itself to say it. It wasn’t a concern, as Chrysalis was mercilessly happy to carry on.
“Implying outright lies and ridiculousness about our little moon and I?” she said flatly.
“...yes...”
Chrysalis beamed evilly. Changelings sighed with relief. “I’d never have thought that they’d spread our lies and confusion for us.” She let loose with a healthy cackle. “I love it! And if you get past the fact that we’re both female and different species, apparently Luna and I make hideously beautiful babies.” The Queen’s grin bore her terrifying teeth to their widest. “Luna’s face when she sees this will be just too good. Are there any more of these ‘newspaper’ things?”
“Yes, m’ Queen.”
“Best thing I’ve heard all morning. Bring them all up, I want to see what they say about me.” The changeling in question nodded quickly and stepped out. Chrysalis started another moment at the fantastical monstrosity covering the tabloid.
“You know, from a certain angle, it’s sort of cute.”
A changeling near the back snorted with quiet disgust, but he said nothing further. Chrysalis, for her part, continued with her vicious laughter.
Chrysalis was rather pleased with herself, and her changelings. Once she realized which papers were conjecture and lies and which more tentatively clung to the truth, it wasn’t too hard at all to fill in the gaps of their information on Luna. With the new and negative attention on the mysterious princess, every last paper had been more than obliged to run a hasty rehashing of her history, beginning with her banishment and moving into events more recent.
The way these ponies inadvertently just kept giving the Queen what she wanted - it was just too good. While it lasted, Chrysalis loosed another cackle, one all the happier for the way they had yet to show any clear information on the changelings.
The guards’ policy of secrecy and isolation was proving quite the double-edged blade. Chrysalis smiled, though she refused to let herself get too comfortable. The day of the invasion had looked just perfect too, before quite literally blowing up in her face. Still, there was no denying that a Queen should enjoy her work - and Nightmare Moon was turning out to be quite the interesting little piece of history.
“Eternal night? Sounds fun.” Of course, for every mention of the black alicorn, there was mention of the ponies’ fabled Elements of Harmony. And that Discord creature. That was worth looking into, but her heart warned her caution with that one. “I hope none of you were getting bored in here, it’s looking like our work is cut out for us this time around.”
A tingle at the edge of her awareness brought pause to the Queen. Calling on her magic, she conjured up the little pendant with the black crescent moon. It glowed with yellow light, pointing a small ways above the horizontal in roughly the direction of the castle. With a few seconds, she could just barely tell that it was turning to one side.
It was a tiny motion, but it spoke volumes.
“Keep up the good little changeling act, I’m going to step out for some air. It’s about time I tried out their new defenses anyway.” Changelings scurried to do her bidding.
“Where are you off to in such a hurry, little moon?” Chrysalis licked her fangs and smiled.