Dear Diary
Like my former research subject, Alex Roberts, Matthew Brennan seems almost obsessed with keeping ponies happy. Unlike Alex Roberts who has a practically non-existent self worth, Matthew Brennan seems to have a separate motivation, fear.
He usually hides behind that tough stallion act, and I know how easy it is to fall for him that act. I know one of the things I took away from dating Rainbow Trash Dash is recognising the differences between the outside act and the pony inside.
I should be more respectful here, I don’t know if this will ever be published. I also hope Bons doesn't read this.
Where was I? Ah, yes.
It took the remainder of seeing Rainbow Dash trying to hide her insecurities for me to see it. How could I have been so blind to it? He practically galloped out of my home the morning, he must have reeked of fear too. Perhaps that black material that covers him from neck to... What are those shortened fingers on the feet called? Ah, toes. Perhaps that material is more than simple clothing, I will have to investigate it further at some point.
I could manipulate him. His fears are simple and easy to use. But that wouldn't make him love like me. while I could control him with fear, we could never be friends, or anything else. That makes me wonder what horrors would have caused this kind of fear in him. It breaks my heart knowing such a sweet pony person went through such terrible things. With Alex it was easy, I mean 60 years of galloping for your life with drive anypony a little crazy.
It begs the question, how did he, so obviously full of fear, take up a profession where you have to be brave all the time. When we're alone and he's calm and in a good place, mentally, I'll ask him. Maybe humans can push past fear better than ponies. That would make sense, since they're predators. Anyway, I will have to make sure to approach him with kindness, compassion, and love. I value my relationship with him, and I don't want to lose that.
Seriously, if that nag insensitive Rainbow can woo a person as damaged as Alex, surely to Celestia I can build a good relationship with Matt.
But why am I still focusing learning to domesticate him? I want to be his friend, those two days with Bons reminded me why I love her so. She’s always there for me, always kind, loving and otherwise there to make me happy. Was that Rainbow maned tram pegasus right?
Am I really only capable of focusing on one thing at a time and ignoring everything else?
Signed,
I hate you Rainbow for doing this to me, again!
P.S. I need to focus more when writing, I had to cross out a lot of things in this entry.