//------------------------------// // The 'Miss' in 'Misdemeanor' (Prompt #144) // Story: Thirty-ish Minute Pony Stories // by Abecedarian //------------------------------// TMP Prompt #144 - “The Big Heist” Prompt: Jacking Diamonds: Applejack and Rarity, thieves extraordinaire. - The ‘Miss’ in ‘Misdemeanor’ “Why is it such a surprise that Ah’m a fan a’ Shadow a’ Hollow Shades?” “Well…” Rarity looked up from her sewing. “You must admit you’re the strait-laced type. I just didn’t think a book about a thief would hold any appeal for you.” “Well, it sounds a lil’ weird, but Ah could really put mahself in Shadow’s shoes. It’d be mighty fun ta—What’s so funny?” “Applejack,” Rarity giggled. “Being a thief requires a certain subtlety and artfulness. For all your fine qualities, dear, you’ve always been somewhat lacking in—” Suddenly the orange farmer loomed over her. “Yer sayin’ you’d be a good thief an‘ Ah wouldn‘t? You?” “Well, yes, frankly.” Rarity stepped back from her sewing table and glared up at Applejack. “I could steal circles around you.” “Ah don’t have to take this! Ah’m going home!” Applejack turned on her hoof and stormed out. “Well, that was abrupt. Back to work, I guess.” Rarity reached for her pincushion. It was gone. “Aha.” *** “If yer not plannin’ on stayin’ fer dinner, ya’d best get outta mah kitchen.” “There’s only one reason I’m here, Applejack.” Rarity sniffed. “Where’s my pincushion?” “Ah’ll go fetch it, if you admit Ah’m a good thief.” “I admit you caught me by surprise.” “Good enough. Be right back.” By the time Applejack returned, pincushion in mouth, Rarity was gone, along with all the pots and pans the Apple family owned. *** “Well-played.” Applejack said. “But we’d best stop this afore one of us comes ta regret it.” “Fine by me.” Applejack’s cookware floated out of one of Rarity’s armoires. “Shall we walk it back together?” “Nah, Ah got my cart.” “Alright, then.” Rarity waved after Applejack, then turned back to the empty table which had held the sketches she’d been working on. *** “Gone! All of ‘em gone! Ah just turned mah back fer a second!” Applejack glared at the empty baskets. “Mess with mah livelihood, will she?” *** Rarity returned home from a most wonderful play to find her front doors missing. Fortunately everything else was locked up tight. *** “Where is he?!” The exhausted mare, now so covered in dirt she looked more brown than orange, gasped. “Wha’d ya do with him?!” “Why, Macintosh and I spent a most delightful morning…together.” Rarity smiled at the blushing stallion. “He’s a good model, you know. Quite good.” “Ah had ta plow the whole west field mahself, ya great lazy lump! Get yer dock back ta the farm!” Applejack watched him run, then rounded on Rarity. “An’ you! Ya best not have gotten up ta anythin’ unsavory with mah brother!” “Oh, Applejack. Nothing I do is unsavory. It was a perfectly innocent modeling session.” “Well, alright, then.” “As far as you know.” *** “An’ that’s why Ah need yer help," Applejack said, "Ah think th' only thing that'll make Rarity stop this crazy prank war is if'n something real big happened to get her attention or somethin'. Like, snap her out of it." "Really." "Yup!" Applejack swallowed. "S-sure as shootin!'" "Really?" Applejack was biting her lip so hard she couldn't open her mouth, so she just nodded. “Fine,” Twilight Sparkle sighed and rolled her eyes. “But only so I can end this silly feud.” *** “My whole summer line of dresses gone!” Rarity ranted. “Poof! And I know just who was responsible!” “Look, why don’t you just bury the hatchet, already?” Rainbow Dash said. “This is stupid.” “Because she tasks me…she tasks me, and I shall have her.” “Can I watch?” “Not like that!” *** Applejack woke at the crack of dawn, or at least she thought she did, for it was just as dark as when she went to sleep. She blinked up at a sky so densely clouded it was almost black, then her eyes went wide. “Th’ sun.” *** Applejack snickered, looking back at her cart, which contained every single one of Rarity’s precious ponikins. Sweet Apple Acres was just in sight and— Huh!? *** Rarity cackled around Applejack’s precious lasso. Soon— What!? *** “How did you manage to steal my whole boutique!?” “How’d you steal all mah trees!?” “…Wait a second.” *** “This whole thing was ridiculous,” Twilight said. “I decided to end it before anypony got hurt.” “It was rather silly,” Rarity admitted. “Forgetting our friendship like that.” “Yeah.” Applejack nodded, abashed. “We got carried away.” They embraced. “But what about our stuff? Where is it?” “Oh, I just cast invisibility and intangibility spells on everything.” The purple unicorn concentrated. “There.” “Mah trees!” Applejack rushed outside. Rarity paused at the door. “Twilight, I just wanted to thank you,” the white unicorn said. “Yes, you practically gave me a heart attack, taking my boutique like that, but it taught me a valuable lesson about friendship.” “No problem.” “And teamwork.” “What?” “Oh, nothing.” *** Twilight, half-awake, reached for her blanket. It wasn’t there. Neither, she realized, was her bed. She jolted fully awake, and stared around her library. Her telescope, globe, unicorn bust, her personal collection of books...every last thing in her loft was were completely gone. “Spike! Owlowiscious!” She called. “How could you—Spike? Owlowiscious?” No one was there. “…Teamwork.”