Luna's Big Mac Attack!

by Will of Haphinea


The Apple Family Whopper

It had been a couple weeks since the incident involving Luna and Big Mac. Normally around this time, the two Princess sisters would have resumed their Royal prank war with each other, but Luna was not so much as speaking to Celestia anymore.

"Luna! Come on, I know that Applejack is still mad at you. On the bright side, you did finally get over that silly crush! I mean, I will admit he was a very attractive stallion, but you really must move on!" she tried to communicate the bright side of her bad encounter with the Apple family's older mare sibling.

"Go away Sister, I am not in the mood to hear it!" Luna responded. Unknown to her sister, Luna had been in communication with the red stallion since then. Although her Night Guards were beginning to despise their new roles as "love-letter" carriers. Still they were very loyal to their Lady Luna, and did what they had to for her sake.

She sent for one of the Night Guards to deliver this very special letter in the daytime, as it contained very good news for the stallion. She smiled and thought about what she wrote, "I do hope he says yes! Applejack and my sister cannot keep telling me what to do, and maybe, they will both learn a lesson out of all this!" She said, and imagined herself cuddling in Big Mac's embrace as she laid down.


A very tired Opliptera reached the outer fields of Sweet Apple Acres and delivered the Princess' letter to Big Mac as he worked the fields. He thanked the Guard and even let him a drink of his water bucket he had, before he was set to go. After reading the letter, Mac stopped the Guard and gave a quickly written note back to deliver to His Majesty.

As the obedient Guard flew off, Mac reached into a side pocket and looked over a shiny object meant for the Princess. He smiled at the sight of the mystery object, but placed it back quickly as he saw his sister coming. "Mac, what are you doing out so late by yerself? I told ya we had to do the other field and not worry about these for now. I swear even since I caught you with -- her." Applejack tried to shake the memory out of her head. Sure she wanted her brother happy, but walking in on your own brother kissing a mare in your own home was... unpleasant to recall.

A single "Eeyup" from Big Mac snapped her out of the repeating horror show in her mind.

"Well that's good to hear! You know if you really want to find yer special somepony, I happen to know about five mares who have expressed their interest. I normally wouldn't let them near ya, but I feel so bad for that night, I figure you can try and talk to them and see who catches your fancy." Applejack offered

Big Mac looked at her like she had been replaced by some clever Changeling or other shapeshifter. Nonetheless, he answered her in the only way that would get through to her stubborn nature. "Nooope!"

"But, I got some of the girls comin' tonight and you have no idea how long it took for poor 'Shy to--"

"Noope! Thanks Sis, but Noope!" Big Mac added. To further this point, he left his disappointed sister alone to head over to the other field.

Applejack stood alone but silently reprimanded herself. "Now what I am I goin' to tell the girls when they come tonight?"


Meanwhile in Canterlot, the Princesses were finally talking. They spent the day going over a few issues of the moment, a Council dispute, and trying to decide on what to do about an annoying bird who kept sneaking into the Royal Chambers. They went their separate ways, and just as Luna was alone, the Guard-turned-mailpony arrived, and delivered the response she was looking for from Big Mac.

"Sister, I have the most wonderful news! I have something I have wanted to share with you for a long time now but ---" Luna said, but was interrupted by a somewhat stressed Celestia.

"PLEASE Don't tell me it is more pictures of your friend! I told you last time, those were floating branches, and I think one of them was some sort of Pony floaty!" Celestia prepared herself for more proof of Nessie Luna was sending her through Guards while she hid in her room.

"NO! I will be preparing my trip very soon with Pip regarding that! But I need you to meet me in Ponyville, for a special dinner! I promise this won't be like last time, and I even have arranged for Sugarcube Corner rented out, so nothing embarrassing happens!" Luna said very happily.

Celestia was not convinced, for all she knew this was a proposal to the Elements to convince them to come along with her on that wild goose chase! Still, her sister was very persistent, and she agreed. "Alright, but please keep the trip a secret! The last thing I need is Twilight believing in such silly nonsense." she spoke plainly to her sister.

Luna looked at Big Mac's writing again. "I know everypony is going to be so happy for me!" She told herself and skipped along the halls happily.


"You did what?!?" Big Mac finally got an honest answer out of Applejack. She felt bad for not telling Big Mac about setting him up, but she really didn't want to hurt her friend's feelings either.

"Imma awfully sorry, but I knew you haven't been acting yourself and figured a nice dinner with the girls would calm things down!" The mare said to him.

"I have plans." he said simply to her, not wanting to dwell on the previous conversation anymore than necessary.

"Wait! No Mister, you and the girls are at least gonna talk about this! If you ain't interested that is fine an' all, but I work too hard for yer plans to get in the way!" Applejack said.

Big Mac was going to argue why it shouldn't be his duty to fix a mistake that Applejack did for her friends, but this may have been just what he needed to get back at her. "Ok, have them meet at Sugarcube Corner, I'll be there at 9 o'clock."

"I was hopin' we could--" Applejack realized her meddling couldn't make Big Mac do everything she wanted. True, she may not have liked Princess Luna, but doggone it one of her friends was bound to catch his heart!

The day was ending so she decided to head to the house early and clean up, and to tell the girls the change of plans.


Evening had come and gone, and soon 9 o'clock was here. Big Mac and his guest would be here any minute, and both Princess were coming along any minute now! "Everything is going to be so perfect! This'll be the bestest party ever!" an energetic party mare said to herself, and prepared the last batch of sweet and pies for the guest that were expected to come.

"Sister, if I didn't know any better, I would say that is Big Mac, and the other girls coming this way too?" What is going on? I swear I better not hear about you proposing them to--" Princess Celestia said to her sister but was interrupted by a now irate Luna

"FOR THE LAST TIME, NO! I won't be telling them about that trip. I have, other reasons for them to be here. You'll know soon enough! Trust me, Sis?" Luna said, yelling and then calming herself, it was so much to hold in, this news, and she just wanted to tell her sister right then and there, but it wasn't the right time.


Meanwhile, three of the five mare friends of Applejack were trying in their own silly ways to embarrass the bashful stallion, who was now regretting bring such very sweet and eager mares to hear the news he was going to share.

"I..um, I really like your bow tie Big Mac. Oh I hope I wasn't being too forward!" Fluttershy said, failing at trying to compliment or flirt with the stallion at her side.

"It's ok sugarcube, I am sure mah brother doesn't mind a few nice words. After all, you are practically family anyway! Don't be nervous, 'Shy." Applejack tried to encourage the shy mare.

"Exactly! Oh I hope we can talk a bit about some new planting theories I had been reading up on! It's so exciting to think I could help your sister, and a very handsome stallion like yourself out of a little hard work. Not saying you mind hard work with those muscles, but--" Twilight started to ramble an otherwise fine icebreaker to the poor stallion.

"Sheesh Twi! You think you can just lay off the egghead stuff for a little tonight? Besides, I am sure Big Mac wants to hear more about flying and how my latest tricks are doing!" Rainbow Dash said to her Unicorn friend. She leaned over to Big Mac's ear and whispered, "and when we get rid of the others, I can show you a mare who isn't afraid to kiss a little, unlike those rookies!"

Big Mac gulped and thankfully could hide a slight blush he had with his red coat. It was true these mares were very nice and sweet, but they were not what 'he' wanted, but what his sister did. As he thought about what was said, Rainbow asked another question. "Hey! Where are Pinkie and Rarity? Don't tell me Rarity is still getting done up with that makeup stuff?"

"Well, she volunteered to stay with Spike. Truth be told, I honestly feel she was a bit 'too fancy' of a mare for Mac. Pinkie wasn't interested in going out, but did wanna help with the meals, so we'll be seein' her soon!" Applejack informed everypony present as they walk inside and were greeted by Pinke serving both Princesses.

"Princess Celestia and Luna, what are you two doing here?" Twilight asked, as the other ponies bowed with her. As happy as she was to see her mentor, she did feel a little awkward knowing that she would be present on her first 'date' with the farmer pony.

"To be quite honest, I don't know. Luna asked me to come, as she had something to announce to you all." The Sun Princess answered, but noticed her sister looking at Big Mac with a not-so-subtle smile. "Ahem Sister, mind telling us what is going on?"

"All in good time, Pinkie please! Serve everypony, and we'll get right to the announcement!" Luna said proudly, and motioned Big Mac closer as Celestia went to be filled in all the new details Twilight had discovered.

"Is everything ready? I hope this goes perfectly, my love!" Luna whispered to Big Mac.

"Eeyup!" he answered, and hid a small grin. What the group didn't know was they planned this event with Pinkie to surprise everypony with their own big news!


After everypony was settled in and Big Mac was flirted by almost all his sister's friends, Big Mac got up and stood as Luna prepared her special announcement. "I am so glad I am able to tell you this! I have planned to tell you all this for a while, but it was Big Mac who finally convinced me to do it... I am marrying Big Mac!" The Night Princess announced finally, her cheeks bright with red and smile as wide as she could make. She summoned Big Mac over, who place a hoof ring on her he had hidden for a while

Pinkie Pie was the only one who cheered, as a mix of reactions from the other Ponies ranged from silent shock, to spitting out their drink, to stares toward Applejack, and seething rage. Princess Celestia herself, was completely frozen. She was trying to figure out what she could have possibly missed that made her sister just jump into marriage without consulting her, and what the ramification across equestria would be.

"Sister, I think I speak for everypony here when I ask HAVE YOU LOST YOUR MIND?!? I mean why would you marry this stallion after only meeting once some months back and barely speaking to him since?" the concerned Princess asked, and Pinkie laughed in the back of the room. All looked back towards her, but she refused to say anything, as she motioned she was under a Pinkie Promise.

"Pinkie doesn't have to tell you anything. Big Mac and myself have fallen for each other, and have been meeting in secret since that wonderful night. The reason we are getting married is simple however. I am heavy with foal! You are going to have another nephew or niece, dear Sister!" Luna beamed and kissed Big Mac again, while he held her tightly as well.

"Ah will not stand fer this! HOW COULD YOU DO THIS BIG MAC! What would Granny think about you? Or Ma and Pa? I can't... " Applejack was officially overwhelmed, and no other pony say anything else, until Pinkie threw more confetti in the air, happy about the news!

"Don't you girls see? Luna will marry Big Mac and they'll have a cute little foal, and then he will either moved to Canterlot as a Prince. OR! She can move down to Sweet Apple Acres and help with the farm and--"

"OVER MAH DEAD BODY SHE'LL LIVE THERE" Applejack yelled, as a very upset Celestia glared at her from her seat. "I mean, we can talk 'bout this am sure!"

Celestia was still processing this. It was all because of that prank. All because of trying to tease her sister that she would have to rule alone, while her sister gets to raise a family, and she has to take over both of their duties. "Luna I am so sorry I did this to you!" Celestia said, tears forming in her eyes.

"Um, I may be crazy, but I think Big Mac was the one who put his-- " Pinkie tried to say, but thankfully Rainbow Dash, of all ponies, stuffed her hoof in her mouth so she would not continue that line of thinking.


Luna and Big Mac went into the other room to talk, letting the reactions spread through the room. When they were sure nopony was watching them, they both started to laugh! "I knew this plan would work! Oh Big Mac, where did you come up with this? I never saw sister so afraid of anything, then the thought of either ruling alone, or having to help raise a foal." Luna asked her male friend.

"Pinkie Pie. Plus I overheard how Miss Rarity reacted when Sweetie Belle was thought to be doing something she not. Of course she wasn't, but her reaction was similar to your sister, and mine." He said simply. They continued the laugh for a bit, and looked into each other's eyes.

"I admit, I have enjoyed talking with you. My poor Guards are a little tired of flying all night for of secret letters, but it has been fun. We should calm everypony down, and tell them the truth before Pinkie explodes. I swear she holds her secrets, but she looks like she is going to pop." Luna said, giggling at the mental image.

"Eeyup" Big Mac agreed, but before they went out, he gave one final deep kiss to the Princess he had planned this revenge plot with for the past few months. They held each other for a long while, letting their hooves run over each other's body, and then shied away.

"You know, we can still write each other, if you'd like?" the blushing Princess asked the stallion.

"Eeyup!" Big Mac said, and they went to clean up the mess they created out in the room next door.


After what seemed like hours explaining the joke to everypony, and Pinkie calming down both a very upset Princess and a stubborn sister, they finally laughed at themselves for being so foolish.

"Big Mac, I am sorry I tried to tell ya who you should be with. It ain't right to do somethin' I warned the Cutie Mark Crusaders not to do. And Girls, I am so sorry I tried to force you to get with Big Mac." Applejack apologized to everypony.

"You didn't have to force me!" Rainbow Dash said aloud, and was nudged by an upset Fluttershy. "I mean, it's ok. we kind of went crazy on you too Big Mac, and well, I am sorry!" The Pegasus went up to the stallion, and instead of a playful punch she normally gave him, she quickly hugged him, and flew out before any of the others could make fun of her.

"That sneaky little... " Applejack said, but let her friend go for now.

"Um, Big Mac I am so sorry I--" Fluttershy was picked up by the gentlestallion, and hugged in a tight hug. Fluttershy would later say it was everything she ever dreamed of. For the time being however, she fainted right after the hug, and poor Applejack had to care for the mare that night.

"I really wasn't thinking logically. I should have approached this much better, and, well.. Big Mac, I respect you too much to treat you as a stallion to be won. Please forgive me? Twilight said in her own way. He of course hugged her as well, and gave her something he had taken with him as soon as he knew she was coming " Miss Smartypants?!? I missed you so much! Thank you for taking care of her!" she kissed the stallion on the cheek, and hugged her doll before leaving to pick up Spike.

Last, was Applejack and Princess Celestia. Applejack already said her piece to Big Mac, but she had to apologize for all her behavior she felt towards Luna. "Ah'm awfully sorry that I caused this. I just didn't think a Princess like you could like--well a big lug like him!" she teased her brother and he simply 'hmph' in response.

Celestia hugged her sister. "I really am sorry for spreading the story you wrote. But please, do tell me next time you have a crush! I will always be here for you little Woona! " She teased her sister, and looked to Big Mac.

She stared at the stallion judgmentally, checking him, out, looking over him, and said. "You may write her if you wish. But if you want to do anything more than that, PLEASE discuss things with me first. I don't think I can handle the Kingdom alone." she asked of the stallion, and he simply nodded.

"Sister, I agree, it may not work out with us. to be honest, I shouldn't have sneaked behind your back anyway. I hope you'll forgive me." Luna asked.

Both sisters looked shocked that the couple was willing to give up their new endorsed relationship so quickly, but rather than get mad, they hugged each of their respective sibling and left to the night.

Luna came back in, to thank Pinkie Pie one more time. Before she went back to Canterlot whispered, "we are still meeting tonight right?" to a very embarassed Big Mac.

"EEyup!" he answered nervously, not knowing what the Princess wanted to do that night. he went off into the night alone smiling over this new relationship.


Pinkie laid down after a long night cleaning up the late party, and was happy everything worked out. She was very glad that Big Mac and Luna had found their special somepony, even if it had to be a secret for a little while. A soft blue hoof reached over her body, and held her body close to the source of the hoff.

"Trixie really wants to sleep Pinkie. But when will we be able to tell everypony about us? Trixie wants to rub it in Twilight's face she has her special somepony before she did!" a very familiar magician Unicorn said nuzzling the pink mare.

"Now now, No need to be mean! It'll be happy news! I know everypony will love that we found each other!" Pinkie corrected the proud Unicorn.

"Of course. Trix--I mean, I am sorry. Good night my Perfectly Pleasant Party Pinkie!" Trixie said as she rested next to her marefriend.

"Good night, my Terrifically Tantalizing Trixie!" Pinkie answered back, and they both slept peacefully together.