Deadpool Vs. Equestria
Issue #7
A Social Visit
Deadpool, after falling through Weasel's portal to Equestria, came to Ponyville, and after a bunch of explaining his reasons for existance, Pinkie Pie decides to accompany Deadpool as he ate at Sugarcube Corner. However, he was taken to Canterlot Castle to be assessed on his danger-level, and after apprehending a psycho, is labeled dangerous. He's been moved to Sugarcube Corner's Guest Room, and after a while, the two decided to pay a visit to Applejack. But they see some sort of ethereal ghostly being speak to them, and they'd like to get some answers.
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Deadpool and Pinkie, away from Sweet Apple Acres, thought about what just happened.
"So err... we saw a ghost, apparently." Deadpool said.
"Yup!" Pinkie said.
"Do we have the Shining?"
"Do we?"
"I don't feel any different.
"Me neither!"
"And when's 'EVENTUALLY?' When is he gonna tell us what's going on? Arhglebargle!"
{Err... Wade, what in the hell was that?}
[Hey, anyone read 6 yet?]
Yeah, why?
[We're in it!]
I noticed. Good for you.
[I was totally smooched by Pi-]
{I totally want you to shut up. Different continuity.}
Stop referencing other fics... anyway.
"Hopefully he turns up, otherwise I'm gonna have to fire the author, and narrate the story myself!" Pinkie exclaimed.
Oh, hell to the no.
"Greetings, you two." As the spectral stallion appeared.
"Oh hai Wisefree." Deadpool said.
"Hi!"
"I never did get your names, did I... well, you know mine, what's yours?"
"Wade Wilson. The Merc With A Mouth. But... you can call me Deadpool."
"And I'm Pinkie Pie!"
"I see. Well, it is certainly nice to meet you both. I assume you're wondering what I'm doing here, being unperceived by others?" Wisefree asked.
"Should I get the popcorn?" Pinkie asked.
"Please do." Deadpool replied. Pinkie grinned, dashed somewhere, and re-appeared a split-second later with two boxes of popcorn. Deadpool smiled, and took his box.
"Begin your story, weird thing." Deadpool said.
"Firstly, I am not a 'thing.' I am, technically, a pony, like any other." He replied calmly.
"Why are you all... dead looking then?"
"Well, suffice to say, I've found myself trapped in a state of dimensional collapse. Now, I turn up in random dimensions similar to mine, albeit with many differences altogether. Why, if you searched hard enough, you'd find a version of me from this dimension here."
"So... what's your dimension like?" Pinkie asked.
"My dimension is relatively similar to this one, but half of the Elements of Harmony have found their Special Somepony. Twilight Sparkle is with Doctor Whooves, Rarity is with a not well known fashion designer, and Applejack ended up with me."
"...Oh. Cool." Deadpool said.
"How'd you get that dimension-messeruper thingy to happen to you?" Pinkie asked.
"Well, funny story, I'm a friend of that Doctor Whooves, and he'd gotten back from writing a letter to somepony, probably a pen pal, and said he needed help to explore an island on some planet. Suffice to say, accidents happened."
{And so Doctor Whooves is more unsafe than the New-Who Season 7's first half's finale.}
[WHY, AMY, WHY!?]
"Ah huh..." Deadpool said. "And... you went with him... despite the obvious risks you weren't ready for?"
"If you risk nothing, then you risk everything." He replied.
{Is it me, or is he just gonna go on about all his wisdom quotes?}
"Alrighty then... so... how come it's only me and Pinkie who can see you?" Deadpool asked.
"I can sense a few dimensional energies from you that are different from the others. You probably came from another dimension, or universe, and you are able to perceive me... although, that usually doesn't happen."
"Maybe it's our 4th-wall perceptiveness!" Pinkie suggested.
"Your... what?"
"Never mind, just think of it as..." Deadpool paused, for dramatic effect.
"We're both awesome." He finished.
"...Yes, quite. Anyway, I will let you explore the town," Wisefree said. "I came here very recently, so it is nice to see what this dimension holds. Next stop, Rarity's Boutique. Ciao." He departed with a smile and a nod, and turned around to walk away, disappearing after three steps.
"...Hm." Deadpool simply said. He took a look his popcorn box, which was now empty. I don't remember eating anything. Eh. "Well, where else do we visit?" He asked.
"Twilight's Libr-" Pinkie began.
"No."
"Applejacks F-"
"Done that."
"Dashie's-"
"Not possible."
"Ra-"
"OH GOD NO."
"Fluttershy's cottage?"
"Nnnnnnn...mmmaybe."
{OF COURSE!}
[AAAAAAAAAAAAAAIIIIIIIIIIIIIEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE!]
{...Dislike?}
[YES, DO YOU SEE WHAT'S WRONG!?]
No. Frankly, this joke is gonna be obsolete soon. Maybe some months will pass. It won't say 4 dislikes anymore, it'll be much higher.
[BUT IT CAAAAN'T!]
If it didn't, things would suck. I mean, The Recluse got a dislike first. And that's probably because I used a GeneralZoi image. Because I'm not a good drawer.
{We are not going to talk about this. Let's just continue.}
-----
Deadpool and Pinkie arrived at Fluttershy's cottage. Deadpool knocked on the door. There was an 'eep' from inside.
{D'AAAAAAAAWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWW.}
The door eventually opened, and Fluttershy peered out of the door.
"H-hello?"
"Hi, is this the set where they're filming The Recluse: The Movie?" Deadpool asks.
Fluttershy takes this as a friendly greeting joke and smiles to Deadpool and Pinkie.
"Hi, Pinkie, and hello, Wade. U-um... do you need anything?"
"Nope, we're just getting Wadey here used to Ponyville, since he's gonna be staying here for a while!" Pinkie said.
"O-oh, okay. Well, um... come in." Fluttershy replied, opening the door.
-----
Deadpool was now sitting on a couch. He had a look at the interior of the house. It was definitely the place someone would be happy living in. The furniture was comfy, the decorations were astounding, and there were many animals, ensuring a lack of loneliness.
[Too happy.]
{So cute.}
Deadpool buries his face in his hooves in boredom. While it is a nice place, he has nothing to do but talk to the animals, as Pinkie and Fluttershy are both speaking to each other on one of the other couches., with their same-voice-actor-voices.
"I'm just gonna go take a walk, every... ... ...pony." {Going local. Lulz.} "Be back in a minute!" Deadpool said, waving to Pinkie and Fluttershy before walking out.
"Alright, Wadey! See ya soon!" Pinkie said.
"Bye, Wade." Fluttershy said.
Deadpool took a look around at nature. It was an okay sight. Okay, more than an okay sight. But it wasn't really in his list of interests, was it. Lots of birds, trees, bunnies, squirrels, bees, wild cats, turtles, foxes, flying fish, Blargasaurs,
{Stop hallucinating. Really. Stop.}
Deadpool walked in front of a bunny. He looked at it for a moment.
"Hai."
The bunny narrowed his eyes at him, eating a carrot.
{I'm guessing that's the leader rabbit. Probably Fluttershy's favourite.}
[Eugh. I bet he has a cutesy name, like Angel]
Actually... yes, that's his name.
[Oh. Okay.]
Suddenly, he heard an electric, crackly sound behind him. He looked behind him, and looked at a portal open. His face suddenly twisted into an intense face of wonder and excitement and other things... and... it was really disturbing for me and the voices, since we're the only ones who can see his face.
{WHOA, WHAT THE FUCK IS THAT EXPRESSION MAN!?}
"I've seen this thing too many times! It's boring! I still have to look amazed for the audience though!" He said, his expression getting more demonic.
{Stop it, your face is starting to hurt yourself and us!}
"You're right, ow, ow, ow." He said, rubbing his face. When he was finished rubbing his face, he looked in front of him, and the opening portal was replaced by an average stallion wearing glasses, with a short, brown mane and tail, and wearing a grey jacket. The stallion stared at Deadpool in horror, and Deadpool stared at the stallion in horror.
{Begin call-back to the first comic series we had to ourselves, to do with Tolliver's Will, where WE didn't exist!}
"DEADPOOL!?"
Deadpool blinked for a moment before he realized who the guy was.
"Weasel, did you bring any cheesy puffs?"
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To be continued in the next issue!
{Boy. That escalated quickly.}
I'll accept that judgement if you can find a picture to detail that.
{OH, SHUT UP, SERIOUSLY, WHY DID YOU BRING WEASEL INTO TH-}
{You... damnit.}
