Oh… what a night.
The worst mornings are the ones where you feel absolutely horrible… because you didn’t get a lot of sleep last night.
That’s how I felt this morning. I had spent all of last night, listening to that tape, thinking to myself…
Why can’t I ever bring it into my heart to confess to Rarity how I feel about her? I’ve tried several times ever since I fell in love with her… but every time I try, I can’t bring myself to do it, and it happened again yesterday.
Every single time.
I just.
Couldn’t.
Do It.
It really hurts being shy sometimes.
I really didn’t want to get out of bed at all today. I was too tired to feel like doing anything. If it wasn’t for that sweet smell of pancakes, I probably would’ve just lied in my room all day long.
I probably should’ve…
But I could smell them. And I had to get out of bed and go downstairs to see what was going on. The closer I got to the kitchen, the more I could smell other things, like eggs and hay bacon… and I could hear a voice.
“—on this side… Mind that silverware placement!”
Finally, I got down to the kitchen to find… her.
Rarity.
She was making breakfast.
“Oh! Good morning, Fluttershy! I didn’t wake you, did I?”
“I..”
“I just thought I’d fix you up a fresh, hot breakfast! I wasn’t intending to impose, but I was coming by this morning to pick up Sweetie Belle… Oh! You don’t need to worry about her, by the way…”
I think she kept talking for a while. Rarity likes to ramble a lot. Usually when she does, I just focus on how beautiful she is, and nod whenever she stops to breathe.
But today, she looked even prettier than usual…
Her hair was glossy again this morning, even more so than usual. In fact, everything about her had especially done up today. She had plucked her eyebrows extra longer, she was wearing brighter lipstick, and her eyeshadow was thicker. Even the perfume smelled a little stronger… I didn’t know it could smell any stronger.
I only wish I didn’t know now why she had spent so much extra effort on her appearance today… Sigh.
Still, there’s one positive thing I can look back on. Hmm-hmm… her apron. I actually kind of feel bad that she spent so many bits on that apron thinking it was a high-class item. It seems like nopony has the heart to tell her what “Keep your hooves off my buns!” really means.
I can’t help but start to chuckle a little every time I see it.
“Hmm? Is there something funny, darling?”
Oh, dear. See what I mean?
“Oh, it’s… it’s nothing. What were you saying?”
“Well anyway, I thought to myself, ‘What better way to channel that positive energy than by helping a friend?’ So I decided to harness that urge into preparing this wonderful spread for you! I bet nopony’s ever made you a breakfast as nice as this one before, have they?”
As I sat down, I finally realized just what I had out in front of me. And she was right. I’d never seen such an exquisite breakfast before in all my life. Everything was made so perfectly, from the pancakes to the boiled eggs, well… I really like my eggs fried, but it’s Rarity, so I would never complain.
As I started to eat, Rarity sat down across from me, tapping her hooves on the table very fast. The ‘I’m very excited’ “Rarityism”…
“Gee Rarity, you seem really excited today. What’s going on?”
“Oh, okay!” She thrust her neck back, causing her chair to rock. I remember being so nervous that I was reaching out to her. “I just can’t hold it in any longer! I’ve just got to tell you the good news!”
“Good news? Oh, what is it?” I leaned forward in excitement. Here it came…
“Get ready for this, Fluttershy! Because I, Rarity the Unicorn… MAY HAVE FINALLY FOUND A BOYFRIEND!”
BOOM.
And then my heart stopped.
I couldn’t even hear the fork in my hoof ping on the floor under me. Right there, it was like… like my whole world just went away.
Everything.
She… has… found… a… b-b-b-boyfriend?
I… But… But, I…
Three and a half years. Three and a half years I’ve been in love with her… and after all that time, not only does she not love me back, but she’s not even a... a…
“Fluttershy? Hello?”
No, go away, voices in my head! Stop mocking me!
“FLUTTERSHY!”
“EEP!”
“Are you alright, dear? You spaced out for a moment, there.”
“Oh, I— Um, yeah… I’m fine.”
“Oh, well! Very good, then. Now, I just have to tell you all about him! You see, his name is B—”
“Um! Actually, Rarity, you know, I really need to… need to go.”
I had to get out of there. This news was already hurting me inside. The last thing I needed was to hear more about this… this… RARITY-STEALER.
“What? But you haven’t finished your breakfast yet! I still had more things to talk about and… hmm.”
“I-I’m sorry, Rarity, but… I- I really need to go!”
I sure hope she didn’t see the tears flying from my eyes while I was running down my own walkway.
And so there I was. I made it to the park and laid down in front of a tree, letting it all out right there. At least my tears will probably help the poor thing to grow…
Never before have I felt so… so alone. So betrayed. So, lost and afraid. Almost just like…
“This reminds me of something, but… it’s a little different from how I remember it.”
I looked up to see Sweetie Belle look down at me, very worried. She also had a stack of flyers with her and some nails.
“Sweetie Belle? W-What are you doing here?”
“Well, I was helping Apple Bloom and Scootaloo set up flyers around the park.”
“Flyers?”
“Yeah! Miss Cheerilee wants us all to do some volunteer work around Ponyville, and she assigned us with putting up the flyers for this band performing here on Sunday! Maybe if we’re lucky, one of us might turn out to have a volunteering Cutie Mark!”
“Wow, sounds… exciting.”
“Fluttershy… is everything alright? You looked upset, and… and I heard you crying last night, too, when you were listening to that weird Espoñol tape…”
“Well, no,” I quietly replied. “But… It’s fine. You don’t need to worry about me.”
“Aw, come on!” Much to my surprise, she walked over and gave me a gentle hug. “You helped me once. In this exact same spot, I think. Now I want to give some of that help back.”
Who could argue with that? In fact, she’s right. This was the same tree that I found her crying at, back when she didn’t know what to do about her own crush.
And in the end, she was only able to get started because of me in the first place… What would it hurt?
“Well, promise not to tell anypony?”
“I promise.”
“I sort of… have a crush on somepony.”
“What did you say? I couldn’t hear you.”
“I have a crush on somepony.”
“A little louder…?”
“I HAVE A CRUSH ON SOMEPONY!” I quickly put my hooves to my mouth.
“Whoa… really? Now this is feeling way too familiar… Ooh! I know! You offered to talk to me when I had this problem! Maybe now I could talk to you! I bet I could get my Cutie Mark as a love counselor!”
“Oh, thank you so much, Sweetie Belle.” I patted her on the head as I gave her my thanks. “But… if it’s alright with you, I’d rather just be alone right now.”
“Oh. … well, okay, then. I’ll just leave you alone... Here, have a flyer!”
She left behind one of her flyers as she left. I took a glance at it. It was a poster for The Drifting Cattails, the acoustic rock band I really love to listen to. According to the flyer, they’re going to perform here in Ponyville Park this Sunday.
Still, I don’t think even my favorite band could help me out right now…
Was it all… meaningless? Was Rarity always never going to love me back?
I’ve tried countless times to tell Rarity how I feel, and have failed each time. Would it have ever mattered, if apparently, she never even liked mares at all?
I guess I should have figured as much, after how much she was gushing for that Prince Blueblood… But still, I think a part of me just hoped.
Hoped that there was room in her heart.
But now there isn’t. Did it ever mean anything? Was it all for nothing?
What am I going to do now? I… I don’t even know.
“I have to do something about this…”