CHAPTER EIGHT
"A Funny Thing Happened On the Way to the Forum"
"Where are we, Pinkie Pie?", Spike asked the party pony as they made their way through yet another quiet neighborhood. They had been walking for hours, and for what felt like a thousand kilometers, looking to spot any famous pony that had casually wondered outside of their fancy, secluded homes.
"Hmm...", Pinkie said aloud, scratching her chin as she consulted her map. "If I'm reading this correctly..." she began, flipping the map upside down, and then right side up again, "then I would have to say..." she flipped it over and began reading the text in the bottom corner. "We're in Rand McNally."
Spike's jaw dropped. "You mean we're lost?!" He smacked his claw against his brow.
Pinkie Pie shook her head. "Of course not, silly willy! I know exactly where we are! We're right here!"
Spike looked around, past the lovely homes and green, well trimmed lawns, hoping to find a passerby who would point them in the right direction. Seeing nopony else around, he glared at Pinkie Pie, who was busy tasting the air.
"So what do we do now, Pinkie Pie? We can't get lost! Twilight and the others will be expecting us back at the hotel. She promised me ice cream!" The purple dragon threw up his claws in exasperation.
Pinkie, meanwhile, had spotted a house with a carriage in the driveway. That meant somepony was home. Without waiting on Spike, she began hopping toward the front door of the house, over the gladiolas in the landscape, and landing squarely on the porch, her nose mere centimeters from the large glass double doors.
She pressed the doorbell.
"Pinkie!", Spike called out as he sprinted to catch up with her, and was now huffing and puffing beside her. "What", <huff> <puff>, "are you doing?!"
Pinkie's smile beamed. "I'm seeing if this nice pony will help us find our way back to the hotel, Spikey!"
She rang the doorbell again. There was still no answer.
"Maybe nopony is home", Spike said, as he half hid behind the pink pony, just in case the owner was disgruntled about being disturbed.
Pinkie Pie wasn't certain. So, to be sure, she pressed the doorbell again, and again. This went on for a few minutes, with Pinkie pressing the doorbell, waiting with a wide smile, the smile deflating after silence, and then repeating the process.
In a bid of slight frustration, she began pressing the doorbell button rapidly, setting off a high pitched dinging sound that made her appear to be the winning contestant on a game show. Finally, the doorbell had suffered enough, and the spring popped, the brass plating which held the button breaking in two, and a short spark as the button itself shot off into the grass behind them.
"Hmm..." Pinkie murmured, scratching her chin once more.
"They may not be home, Pinkie", Spike offered, hoping she would take the hint and they could move on elsewhere.
"Hmm... no, I don't think that's right, Spike", the peppy pony began, "in fact", she added, pulling a detective's hat from her saddlebags and placing it on her fluffy pink mane, "I believe we've stumbled upon a mystery!" A crack of thunder accompanied the last word, and Spike quickly glanced around to see nothing but clear, blue skies. He scratched his head and shrugged his shoulders.
"Maybe they're just not home", he offered again, knowing that she would be unconvinced.
For a moment, Pinkie was silent, her eyes narrow, her jaw moving back and forth, her tail beginning to twitch back and forth as she poured all of her mental energy into whatever fantasy she had began to concoct inside that head of hers.
Finally, she spoke. "Spike! To the window!" she called, raising a hoof into the air, and dashing off the porch.
Spike was wholly unprepared for that.
"Where are you going? What window?!" he asked, panic in his voice. It would not do for them to be sneaking around somepony's home.
Ignoring his question, Pinkie sidled up to the nearest window and pressed her face against the glass, giving her a good view inside the home.
"Ooh, Spike! This place has all sorts of neat, shiny stuff!" she called behind her, her muzzle still pressed up against the glass, rendering her speech unintelligible.
Across the street, an old mare was watching intently at the two figures standing against the window of her neighbor's house. One of them was some kind of amalgamated pink abomination who seemed unable to control her body movements, or the volume of her voice. Either that or she really had to use the restroom. The other figure was very short, and appeared to be a dragon. She had never seen them before, but the simple fact that one of them was a dragon was a sign of danger. Dragons were no-goodniks!
Out of concern, she picked up the message pad on her desk, to contact the nearest Los Pegasus police station. As she scribbled the message and let the magic teleport it away, she looked out the window and saw the pair going around the side of the house. She shook her head. What fool idiots would try to break into a house in the middle of the afternoon, and not just any house, but the home of the Deputy Director of the Los Pegasus S.W.A.T. team?
<(/)*(\)>
They had just finished their shower, and were taking a seat at the small kitchen counter when they heard the elevator door open in the main entrance to the penthouse suite.
"Rainbow Dash, Applejack, are you here?" they heard the querying call of Rarity, the socialite pony's voice filled echoed off the walls.
Applejack looked at Dash for a moment with a questioning glance, wondering what the fashion mare could possibly want.
Rainbow Dash merely shrugged in an "I don't know" response, as they stood up, and cantered into the main living area.
"Yeah, we're here", Dash called out, seeing Rarity, Twilight, and Fluttershy all turn toward their direction at the same time. They had looks of concern on their faces, and Dash found it more than a bit freaky when they all began walking toward her and Applejack.
Fluttershy began cooing softly. "Oh, Rainbow Dash, Applejack. We want you to know how much we love you, and want you to be happy."
"Indeed, my dear, " Rarity said, stepping up next to Fluttershy, "you know that you can always talk to any of us if you find yourself facing the horrible inequities of life." She paused, placing a foreleg on her head, and fell backward, as if fainting from the stress, onto a waiting couch.
"That's what friends are for. We're all in this together, and we'll overcome this problem through the magic of friendship!", Twilight finished, a determined smile on her face. The three of them stared at the two lovers, as if waiting for their reaction.
"Uh, come again?", Applejack asked, her southern drawl filled with confusion.
"Yeah, what are you guys talkin' about?" Rainbow spoke up.
The three mares looked at one another. Twilight looked at Fluttershy, who blushed and ducked her head. Twilight turned back to a waiting Applejack and Rainbow Dash.
"Uh, you see, girls," she began, rubbing a hoof on the back of her neck, "Fluttershy told us about yesterday, when, uh," she paused, finding it difficult to continue, but pressing on, "Applejack started crying, eh heh", she finished, trying to clear her throat and not succeeding very well.
Applejack's eyes grew wide. In response, Fluttershy's meep could be heard from underneath a coffee table.
Rainbow Dash put her hoof on Applejack's shoulder and looked at her, nodding.
Letting out a sigh, Applejack turned back to her three friends. "Yeah, ah was cryin' yesterday. Ah didn't know anypony had seen me."
Another meep emanated from underneath the coffee table.
"Aw, now, Fluttershy, come on out, ah ain't mad", Applejack called in the direction of the table. "Y'all are mah friends, and ah don't hide no secrets from ya."
Applejack sat down on the couch, Rainbow Dash sitting next to her. The other ponies followed suit, save for Fluttershy, who was still underneath the table.
"Ya see," Applejack began, her hat in her hooves, "ya all know Rainbow and Ah visited her kin yesterday. At first, things were goin' really good, and Ah felt like Ah was a makin' progress of a sorts with 'em. They were all friendly like, and we was gettin' along mighty fine."
"It was my fault, really." Rainbow Dash interjected.
Applejack shook her head. "Nah. Ah appreciate it Rainbow, but ya know it wasn't yer fault. It was mine. In the middle of supper, Ah blurted out that Ah loved Rainbow, and that she was mah marefriend. It durn near killed 'em, ah'd wager. They looked like a herd o' cattle caught in the headlight of a train, and ah watched as their faces turned ta frowns and anger, all 'xcept fer the young'un, Violet."
Tears began to form at the edges of her eyes.
Rainbow Dash ran a comforting hoof through her marefriend's mane.
"It was just so uncool what they did", Dash filled in, her gaze still on Applejack, "I woulda never thought my parents would do that to one of my friends. Not just a friend, but the most important and coolest friend in my life."
"Don't you worry, Applejack. There's nothing that the magic of friendship can't fix", Twilight said to her friend, hope and determination in her voice.
"That's so very true, darling", Rarity added, "friendship can overcome anything."
"Oh, and we're the best of friends!", Fluttershy said, wrapping her arms around Applejack.
"They're going to have to accept you, AJ, because I ain't letting you go!" said Rainbow Dash as she took Applejack's hat from her hooves and placed it on her head.
Applejack looked up at her friends, a small smile on her face. "So what are y'all gonna do?"
Rainbow Dash's expression went blank for a moment, then she looked up at Twilight. "Yeah, what are we going to do? My parents can be pretty stubborn, just like me."
Rarity and Fluttershy's gazes turned toward Twilight, and she realized she had put herself on the spot with her determination to resolve this problem for her friends.
So she raised her head, and stomped her hoof on the tile floor. "I'm going to lecture them! And when I'm finished, they'll have no choice but to accept Applejack as their very own! Tomorrow morning, we're going to go to Rainbow Dash's parents' house, and we're going to show them what true friendship is all about!"
Cheers went up from the small group, and for the moment, the mood was light again. Rainbow Dash squeezed her marefriend and gave her a kiss on her muzzle. Fluttershy blushed and made her way to her own room, as Rarity went into the kitchen to prepare a light dinner for everypony.
Twilight looked at the adoring couple for a moment, before a thought struck her.
"That reminds me", she said aloud, breaking the quiet that had settled in the room, "has anypony seen Pinkie Pie or Spike?"
<(/)*(\)>
"Freeze! You are surrounded! This is the Los Pegasus police department!"
"Gah!" Spike yelped out in surprise as his claws shot straight into the air.
Pinkie Pie, however, just bounced in place, as a group of ponies dressed in all blue, and wearing protective helmets began to approach the pair.
"Hee hee! Don't be silly! This isn't the police department! It's just a house!"
The voice of the lead officer rang out over the megaphone, this time a slight puzzlement to his voice. "Uh... no, you don't understand. We're the Los Pegasus police department! We have you surrounded. Raise your hooves above your head, and put yourselves up against the wall."
Pinkie Pie giggled, "You do the pony pokey and you turn yourself around, that's what it's all about. Yay!"
Spike, for his part, was already against the wall, claws against the siding. He turned his head. "Pinkie! These ponies aren't playing! You have to put your hooves up and get against the wall!"
Pinkie, though, was having none of it. She began bouncing toward the lead officer, who started to step backward in surprise, calling out to the pink mare. "Stay back! Do not approach! Put your hooves up and lay down on the ground!"
"And turn yourself around", Pinkie continued to sing.
Overhead, the Los Pegasus air division dived downward, in order to head off the mare who appeared to be attacking the squad commander. At the last second, however, Pinkie bounced out of the way, and the team of Pegasi crashed into one another.
"Whee!", the party pony said, bouncing up behind a dazed pegasus. She touched him on the head with her hoof. "Tag! Now you're it!" she said with a grin, bouncing away. Several officers began to move in, trying to grab and tackle the mare, to no avail. Pinkie merely bounced sideways, over, under, and in one case, around, the other ponies as they attempted to reign her in.
Chaos reigned everywhere, as a dozen police ponies were lying on the ground, dazed and confused, with a pink pony singing and dancing around them, while a purple and green dragon was plastered against the wall of the house.
Finally, out of sheer desperation, a police pony threw a net over top of her, bringing the hyper pony down to the ground.
"Please remain still!" the officer commanded as he tried to cuff Pinkie's hooves.
"Ooh! Is this like Simon Says?!" Pinkie asked excitedly.
The officer's eyes shifted back and forth for a moment before replying. "Um...yes. Simon Says please remain still!"
With that, the pink pony stopped skittering about. "Okey dokey, lokey!" was all she said, as a big smile appeared on her face.
As they were cuffed, and lead to the paddywagon, Spike couldn't help but notice an old grey mare sitting across the street in a lawn chair. She appeared to be laughing.
Spike huffed, too ashamed to keep watching the odd mare.
The officer who was leading him to the paddywagon began to read him his rights. "You have the right to remain silent. Anything you say can and will be used in a court of law. You have the right to legal representation. If you waive that right, you may represent yourself. Do you understand these rights?"
Spike nodded sullenly as he was helped into the carriage. Twilight was going to be so upset. Spike had never been to jail before, and now Twilight wasn't ever going to trust him again. That is, if he ever got out.
As the carriage began to move, Spike stared out the back, through the bars, wondering how long he would be stuck in jail. Next to him, Pinkie Pie was giggling and humming.
He hoped above hope that they at least gave him his own cell.
<(/)*(\)>