//------------------------------// // False Closet (Prompt #134) // Story: Thirty-ish Minute Pony Stories // by Abecedarian //------------------------------// TMP Prompt #134 - “Coming Out With It” Prompt: Applejack finally tells the truth. - False Closet Applejack shifted nervously, sweating bullets and looking upon a sea of eager faces. Mayor Mare made a welcoming gesture toward the podium, and she stepped forward. “Ah, um, Ah’d like ta thank ya’ll fer letting me speak at this here oc-occasion.” She cleared her throat nervously. “It really means a lot ta me, an‘ Ah mean it. It‘s a r-real honor, an’ um…an’ um…” She looked into Rainbow Dash’s eager eyes and felt a stab of guilt. “Uh, as-as an entrepreneur an’ a member a’ one a’ the foundin’ families a’ Ponyville, Ah…Ah know mah presence here has a lotta significance an’ such…” Pinkie Pie’s encouraging grin made her swallow. “Ah…Ah…AH CAIN’T TAKE IT ANYMORE!” She slammed her hooves onto the podium. “Ah’m straight, dang it! Ah’m straight as an arrow! Ah’m so dang straight, rulers look at me an’ say ‘Ah wish Ah could make a line as straight as you are’! Ah’m sorry everypony! Ah’m so sorry!” “I…I don’t understand!” the mayor sputtered. “What do you mean?” “How much more explicit c’n ah be? Ah like mah ovaries on the outside! Ah like hot dogs an’ not tacos! Ah like squares an’ not curves!” “But I thought—” “Ah was just flirtin’ with ya ‘cause Ah needed a tax break! Ah knew it was wrong, but Ah’d gone too far ta stop!” “What-what about me?” Pinkie asked. “Ah needed bakin’ tips. You yerself said mah cupcakes were weak.” Applejack waved an exasperated hoof. “Plus, look at ya! With yer wibblin’ eyes and quiverin’ lip! Yer just so dang adorable, Ah practically wanna eat ya up!” “I know you meant it when you were flirting with me!” Rainbow Dash protested. “You mentally re-write everythin’ ponies say so they’re either flirtin’ or tellin’ ya how awesome ya are!” Applejack said. “It’s kinda freaky, truth be told.” “I’m so cool, it is a little scary.” Rainbow Dash polished her hoof on her chest. “Aren’t you proving her point?” asked Caramel. “That’s nice of you, but I’m in a relationship right now.” Dash’s eyes narrowed. “Or at least I thought I was.” “Ah support ya’ll an’ everythin’, Ah’m just not one a’ ya’ll.” Applejack bowed her head. “Ah hope you c’n forgive me.” “Well,” the mayor said. ”The important thing is you came out and told the truth. Eventually. In the most deeply embarrassing way possible for everypony involved. Integrity like that will always be rewarded, one way or another.” “Why doesn’t that make me feel better?” *** It had rained on Sweet Apple Acres for three straight weeks, but Applejack was too busy sorting out a series of tax audits, surprise safety inspections, and suddenly required permits to really notice. Things were starting to look up, though, as a box with the Sugarcube Corner logo had been on her doorstep that morning. “At least Pinkie still likes me,” she said to herself as she reached for it. A whine caught her ear, and she turned to see Winona whimpering and backing away. “…Yeah, prob’ly better not…”