Chapter 4: The Way It Should Be
“How is she?” asked Derpy through streams of tears and intermittent cries as she clung onto the doctor’s white coat.
“As far as we can tell, she’ll be fine,” reassured the professional, giving his umpteenth encouraging smile. “She lost a bit of blood, and she’s out cold for now, but she’ll be fine soon enough. There’s no major problem, apart from maybe a concussion, but that should pass soon.”
Derpy loosened her grip for just a moment before resting all her weight on the doctor’s attire.
“Are you sure she’ll be OK even after she lost all that blood?” she begged.
“It wasn’t a lot,” affirmed the stallion calmly. “The blood was from a small cut to the left of her horn, so it isn’t anything too serious. Perhaps the most serious injury she’ll walk away with is a slight crack at the base of her horn-”
Derpy slapped her hooves on her mouth and let out a sharp, horrified gasp.
“-But it should heal in a week or two,” he finished, placing a hoof on the mailmare’s shoulder. “She’ll be absolutely fine.” he repeated.
Derpy reluctantly let the doctor trot off and attend to the various other tasks that demanded his attention. Almost immediately after she released him, he disappeared into another patient's room and they watched as a struggling mare was wheeled into an entirely different part of the hospital, with the same doctor closely behind, worry and frustration chiseled into his features. Carrot listened to the monotonous flaps of the double doors as they opened and closed. Hidden under the boorish noises, Carrot heard a shaky whimper. Turning to her side, she saw her friend stare lifelessly out of parallel eyes, swimming on top of cascading waterfalls.
“Hey, cheer up,” muttered Carrot, smiling. “Didn’t you hear Dr. Stable? He said Dinky will be fine! You should be happy!”
“I don’t think you heard what he said...” mumbled Derpy, rubbing her eyes.
“What do you mean?” Derpy got up and trotted away from her friend.
“He said that as far as they can tell, she’ll be fine...”
“Exactly, so she’ll be fine!” continued Carrot, trying to pull Derpy away from her thoughts.
“But it also means that something bad could still turn up right?” asked Derpy, flapping her wings for a moment.
“You can’t think like that!” declared Carrot. “You’ll just make yourself depressed.”
“No, I can’t think like that!” cried the mailmare, furiously pointing a hoof at her friend.
Carrot took a step back and distanced herself from her friend. Derpy gritted her teeth but she stopped soon enough. Instead, she went back to hanging her head and sulking in a building full of both elated and depressed ponies. She was one of the latter.
“I can’t just think about happy things when there’s even the slightest chance that things could take a turn for the worst...”
“But just thinking about them won’t help prevent them-”
“Neither will hoping that they don’t happen,” retorted Derpy, quick and brief. “But it’s the only I can do...isn’t it?”
“What do you mean?” asked Carrot, curious.
“Nothing...” Derpy waved a hoof in the air and brushed it off.
Pacing back and forth, Derpy stuck her tongue in her cheek and focussed her eyes on cold, tiled ground beneath her hooves. Her brows were furrowed, and a single tear hung on to the corner of her eye as if for dear life. The clop clop of her hooves came at periodic intervals, pausing at predetermined moments before continuing again with their monotonous, soporific drone. Carrot felt her eyelids grow heavy as she sat in a seat a yard or so from her friend, and eventually her sight faded into black.
**********
“Ugh...” moaned Carrot as she lifted her head and stretched out her legs.
Her hoof naturally came to her eyes and rubbed away the thin layer of crust before blocking her mouth as she let out a long, content yawn. Stroking her own mane gently, she let her eyes wander and she saw that there wasn’t a single pony around. Getting up, she trotted over to the counter where an unfamiliar mare just started her shift and already looked bored out of her mind.
“Uhm, excuse me,” began Carrot, stealing a few glances behind her. “I came here with a friend, do you happen to know where she is?”
“No ma’am, I just got here. Whoever your friend is, she left before I arrived,” she replied, voice hoarse and uninviting.
“Oh...OK then...” she mumbled. “Thanks anyway!”
Carrot bowed her head slightly, smiled at the despondent mare and turned to trot away.
“Are you talking about Derpy? That grey mare with the bubbles on her flank?” she heard a soft voice call from behind her.
Carrot’s ears pricked up and her eyes went wide. Pivoting around a hoof, she faced the counter once more and saw a different mare, one that she recognised.
“Nurse Redheart!” she exclaimed with a grin before skipping over to her. “Did you see her?”
“I think she left an hour ago. She came up to the counter and asked about some patient’s room, so she’s probably there. Is she visiting someone?” asked the mare, concerned and interested.
“Nurse Redheart, can you tell me what room she’s in?” demanded Carrot, eyes determined.
“I...I guess,” stammered Redheart, placing her saddlebag on the floor and taking a seat. “Do you know that patient’s name?”
“Dinky!” she replied without missing a beat.
“Dinky?” repeated Redheart with a bemused expression as she flipped through the papers. “Isn’t that Derpy’s daughter? Is she OK? Oh, and she’s in room...217. It’s down that corridor, fifth door on your left,” she explained, pointing a hoof into an empty stretch of hallway, lights and doors.
“Thank you so much nurse Redheart!”
“Wait!” she cried before Carrot disappeared. “What happened to Dinky?” Redheart’s voice was shaky and laced with genuine worry.
“She fell down the stairs and she hit her head,” answered Carrot reluctantly, leaning closer to Redheart’s ear and keeping an eye on the other nurse who just replied with a silent scowl.
“Oh my...” she managed. “I hope she’s alright...Tell Derpy that if she needs anything, I’ll be right here!”
“OK!”
Giving one last smile, Carrot turned to run down the corridor, trailing hours behind her friend. The statically frustrated mare chewing gum popped her bubble, eyeing Redheart curiously as she remained seated and started to sort the files before her.
“Your shift already ended, why are you still hear?” she asked as if she didn’t want to know.
“I told them that I would be here for them,” Redheart answered simply, smirking.
“You’re going to stay here all night?” she continued, incredulous.
“If they need me too,” Redheart replied with a shrug. “They have my number though, so if they need me to come back in I can.”
“But visiting hours will be over in ten minutes,” protested the nurse, brows lowered in confusion.
“And I plan on keeping them here.”
“How?”
“I’ll think of something...” Redheart trailed off as she tried to align a stack of papers. “In the meantime, can I trust that you won’t say anything?”
“Yeah, fine but, why are you so intent on helping them?” she persisted, raising her voice.
“You’ve never met Derpy have you?”
“Who?” Redheart let out a little chuckle.
“Exactly...If you know her, then you’ll know that she’s a special pony.”
“What? Like she’s retarded?”
“Not like that,” corrected Redheart. “She’s special in a different way. She’s different to a lot ponies. She’s not unique, but she’s definitely not common either...”
The other mare stared at her for a moment completely befuddled before shaking her head and turning her attention to the stallion that had approached her. Redheart smirked again as she put the papers away.
“I don’t expect you to understand yet,” she whispered. “I just expect you to turn a blind eye for now...”
**********
A tired stallion carefully opened the door and heard it creak just like all the others. A thin slit of light penetrated the permeating darkness and lit up the face of a young Unicorn with a bandage wrapped around her head and a white cast on her horn. Taking a look inside and seeing that there were no other ponies, he decided to move on and check the other rooms he still had to check off of his floating checklist. His hoofsteps faded as he trotted further down the corridor and when they were entirely inaudible, three new sets of hoofsteps started up again. They were careful, quiet and discreet as they approached room 217. Taking a quick look around, Redheart opened the door and let the other two get in, wincing at the high noise from the hinges. Carrot turned to her and smiled as she gave a little wave. Redheart smiled back, nodded, and then closed the door before she left. Carrot listened carefully as her footsteps grew fainter with each passing second, and when they could be heard no longer, Carrot’s ears fell along with the corners of her lips.
Meanwhile, Derpy returned to her seat where she sat earlier, and her eyes hovered over her daughter again. Both of them traced her from her horn to the tip of her tail which was sticking out from the side of her covers. Sighing, she placed her hooves around where Dinky’s stomach should be, and then she rested her head on top such that she still stared at Dinky. Her daughter’s eyes were closed and she looked peaceful as she lay there with a faint red stain on her bandage, and her mouth was open as she silently snored in her sleep.
Time seemed to stop for them in that sickly smelling hospital room, with almost no light inside. Derpy kept staring at Dinky, Dinky kept sleeping and Carrot stayed in her seat, too frightened to make a noise and too guilty to leave. Finally, the clock in the room started to click again, and before long both of the mares heard the accentuated tick-tocks as the three hands moved whilst their vision faded. Soon after, the three ponies in the room were all asleep, and occasionally Derpy would grimace and convulse a little, then she’d calm down and fall into a deeper sleep before the same thing happened again.
The short hand of the clock had passed through into the next cycle and was already an hour in when Derpy woke up. Rubbing her eyes, she felt her dry lips and let out a small yawn. Carefully, she trotted over to the bedside table and drank from the bottle before carefully twisting the cap back on with her wings. With her thirst now slaked, she returned to her seat and rest her head on her hooves once more. This time however, she found that all she could think about was the periodic ticking and the occasional mumble or snore from one of the other two. Sighing, she got up and then sat down on the edge of the bed. Turning her head to the side, she watched as Dinky slept and her hoof came up to the filly’s head. Gently, she stroked her mane; the dry, unhealthy hair tickled Derpy, but she couldn’t giggle. Derpy could feeling that tingling in her nose again, and before the tears came she sniffed a little, holding them back. Bravely, she wore a grin and continued to stroke her mane. Leaning forward, she pecked Dinky on the forehead.
“I hope you’re alright muffin...” she whispered, voice cracking and lips trembling.
**********
With a short rattle, the curtains came open and the sunlight poured into the otherwise gloomy room. Carrot yawned into a hoof as she fastened the curtains to the wall and opened the window a little, letting in a soothing breeze. The cold air rushed through her mane and past her tail as it headed for the other two. Turning around, she watched as the frayed locks of topaz were blown by the draft, and she saw that on the bedside table just under Derpy’s head, there were three pieces of toast slathered with apple jam. Grimacing, she took a slice and bit into it, chewing the still warm and disgusting breakfast, savouring it before swallowing. Resuming her seat, she waited for the other two to wake up.
“Ugh...” groaned the Pegasus, wiping the drool from her face and lifting her head from the wet patch she left on the dull, white sheets.
“Morning Derpy,” mumbled Carrot as she sipped a cup of coffee, the steam rising into and warming her face.
“Huh? Oh, good morning,” managed Derpy with her eyes half opened.
Scratching her head, she stretched her limbs and her wings before looking at the filly curled up under the covers with a faint smile on her lips. A grin appeared on her own face as she stroked the dry mane. With each brush, Derpy felt the stress of the filly, and her chest tightened as the magnitude of Dinky’s efforts settled in her mind. Sighing, Derpy reached for a slice of toast, but stopped when she heard a murmur from the filly. Derpy’s grin came back to her as she eagerly watched Dinky turn over and start to rub her eye. Soon, her left amber eye shakily moved from side to side and focussed on the other two ponies.
“M-mom?” she grumbled, sitting up. “Good morning...”
“Good morning Dinky!” exclaimed Derpy. “I’m so glad to see that you’re-”
Eyes wide and mouth open, Derpy stumbled back and fell off the side of the bed. The plastic tray tumbled down with her and threw the plates of toast onto the floor in a shattered, sticky mess. Carrot jumped to her hooves immediately and rushed over to Derpy, but when she saw it, she too fell back in shock. Dinky however, remained where she was on the bed, though her face wasn’t exempt from horror either.
“Mom!” she cried, too afraid to move forward. “Mom, what’s going on? Why can I see the window?” she asked, facing the door of the south wall.
Reluctantly, Derpy lifted herself and tried to hide her alarm, but when she saw her daughter’s face it came straight back to her. A short whelp escaped her mouth and even though her hoof flew as fast as it could to hide it, Dinky heard it, and she started to breathe heavily as her eyes darted and her vision remained split. The filly’s hooves were furiously pawing at her face, hoping to find something that didn’t belong, but aside from the bandages, everything was where it should be. Getting up, she tried to approach her mother, but unsure whether she was facing the window or the southern door, she fell face first and landed in the pool of saliva that her mother had left on the side of the bed.
Derpy immediately rushed forward and helped the filly out of the puddle of drool and wiped away the liquid with a napkin that had fallen to the floor. After all the saliva had been wiped off of Dinky’s face, two trails of tears appeared and flowed down, drenching the double-layered napkin, rendering it useless. As the mother desperately tried to keep calm and soothe the daughter, Carrot shakily got back onto her hooves and stared at them in wide-eyed fascination. She saw before her two ponies, one a Unicorn and the other a Pegasus, both of whom maintained eye contact with one another, but only with one of their two eyes. Two amber eyes stared at each other whilst the other two darted of at obscene angles.
The panic on Dinky’s face slowly faded as Derpy held her tightly and rocked her from side to side, much like she did when Dinky was born, but when Carrot leaned in closer she could see from Derpy’s side that her tears flowed just as energetically as Dinky’s, and that her silent whimpers were louder than she thought.
The two ponies held onto one another as if for dear life and Derpy could feel a strain on her neck, but she couldn’t say a word. Instead, she just cut her breaths short and stroked Dinky’s mane as smoothly as she could manage. Thankfully, Dinky’s eyes were shut and so she couldn’t see the uncontrollable shaking of Derpy’s wings as she sat there on the bed with her daughter in her hooves, trying to convince her daughter that everything was OK, mouthing those words over and over again.
Carrot suspended her hoof in mid-air, inches away from Derpy’s shivering body. Then, when she lifted her eyes slightly, Carrot could see a glistening droplet in the corner of the filly’s eyes as she bit down hard on her lip and clenched her eyelids tight.
“Mommy, I’m scared...” she whimpered.
Derpy stopped. Her wings were still and her lips were parted. For a brief moment, her eyes were focussed in front of her and she could see her own hoof resting agitatedly on top of the thin, dry strands of tawny hair.
“It’s...It’s OK muffin,” reassured Derpy, placing her muzzle on Dinky’s head and continuing her hoof’s stroking motion. “It’s OK, I promise...”
“But I don’t know where I am anymore mommy!” cried Dinky, opening her eyes and staring around the room.
As one eye moved, the other followed but it followed in such a way that it was never in line with the other. When one looked to the right, the other headed left and when one looked up, the other fell down. Carrot Top couldn’t bear to keep looking at the poor filly as she desperately shot her eyes from side to side, even though Carrot saw eyes like those on a day to day basis. Horrified, Carrot turned her face away whilst wearing a look of disgust. Dinky saw and she shut her eyes tight again. Scrunching her lips she tightened her grip around Derpy’s neck and buried her eyes into the soft yellow mane.
Regretting what she did, Carrot Top got up and exited the room. Before she passed through the doorway completely, Carrot took another look inside and saw her childhood friend embracing a frightened filly on top of a bed with her wings slightly open and shaking vigorously. Once outside of room 217, Carrot Top ran over to the counter and she saw a different mare sitting behind the counter, flipping through the pages of a thick volume.
Lifting her gaze, the Unicorn peered over the top of the clean counter and saw an orange mare hastily rushing towards her. Sitting up straight, she prepared herself for a chain of demands and was ready to redirect the mare, but before she said a word, Carrot Top started to talk, her voice breathless and her eyes constantly glancing behind her.
“Please, is Dr. Stable here?” asked Carrot, leaning over the counter.
“I-I’m sorry, but you can’t jus-”
“This is an emergency!” screamed Carrot, eyes overflowing with desperation. “Is Dr. Stable here or not?”
The mare stared at her, incredulous, then she slowly moved her hooves and checked through a few names on a list, glancing at a watch strapped onto her hoof.
“Yeah, he should be here. He was supposed to come in about an hour ago, would you like me to call him?”
“Yes, please!” declared Carrot, elated and relieved.
“It might take a while, so you might want to go wait for him in your room. Which one is it?” she asked, holding the telephone up to her ear.
“217!” cried Carrot, running off the second the mare behind the counter gave her a little nod.
Minutes later, Carrot saw the drained doctor approach her with bags under his eyes and a weak smile under his muzzle. She rushed towards him and shook his hoof.
“Doctor, something’s happened, something bad!” whispered Carrot, holding onto him by the shoulders.
“What’s happened?” Carrot felt his body clench.
Her lips parted as she was about to explain, but the words wouldn’t come out. There were no words to begin with, she just didn’t want to go back into the room again.
“You should see for yourself,” she mumbled reluctantly as she motioned for him to follow her into room 217 where the two ponies still held each other in their hooves on the top of the bed.
With an even wider, caring smile, Dr. Stable carefully trotted over to the other side of the bed, trying his best not to make a single sound, and he placed a hoof on the mother’s shoulder. Instantly, Derpy’s drenched eyes opened and stared at him, first with fright, and then with relief. Gently, she loosened her grip on the sobbing filly and turned her around so that she faced the stallion who smiled warmly at her. Dinky stopped crying when she saw Dr. Stable, and when she saw that his expression didn’t change at all, her mouth started to twitch, threatening to become a smile of its own. Without a word, Dr. Stable stood up and motioned for Derpy to follow. Carefully, she placed Dinky on the bed and kissed her on her forehead, just below the horn. Then, she silently asked Carrot to watch her, and as the orange mare rushed over to the filly to console her, Derpy exited the room, closing the door behind her, ready for the worst.
“You probably already know what her condition is,” started Dr. Stable, turning away and sighing casually. “After all, you were born with it.”
Derpy bit her lip hard at his words, tasting a hint of iron on the tip of her tongue as she recoiled in pain.
“Dinky has developed strabismus which has lead to diplopia, or double-vision. I think it was caused by trauma, and though I have no evidence as of yet, I think that it is very likely.” He paused for a second and coughed into his hoof, giving Derpy a moment to calm herself. “There are a number of ways we could combat the situation involving various techniques and also surgery. I’m sure you remember all of this from when we talked about your condition.”
Derpy gave a weak nod.
“Well, in my opinion, that is the only way to fix her vision. Strabismus doesn’t disappear on its own, it requires treatment, but that treatment isn’t free.” Derpy smiled.
“Dr. Stable, they need you down in A and E,” called out a nurse from down the hall.
The stallion looked to the nurse and then he grinned back at Derpy.
“I have to go now, but I’ll come back as soon as I can and we can discuss how to tackle the problem.”
“OK, thank you doctor...” Derpy watched as he waved, rubbed his eyes, then cantered off towards where the nurse had told him to go.
When he had disappeared around a corner, Derpy took a deep breath, smiled again, and trotted back into the room. Dinky beamed at her mother as she entered and rushed to her side with one eye closed, wrapping her hooves around her. Derpy could see that the trails of tears had dried, but her filly’s eyes were still red and her cheeks were a lot more sensitive. When Derpy grazed it with her hoof, Dinky flinched.
Pecking Dinky on the forehead, she hugged her back and looked at her friend. Carrot sat there, too afraid to move and Derpy couldn’t let go of her daughter. She knew what she had to do, and she knew that it was the right thing to do. But the right thing was never the easy thing, and that is still true in Dinky’s case. A single tear fell from Derpy’s chin and followed Dinky’s horn down to the bandages, and Derpy closed her wall eyes as she buried her smile in the dry, blond mane.
**********
It had been a long time, and Derpy had lost track. It had been at least a month or two since that day when Derpy ran into the hospital with her daughter after her accident, and save for those few days where she did any work and those times when she went home to shower, Derpy never left Dinky’s side. She was in the hospital the entire time, and she had helped Dinky whenever she needed it. Now, Derpy watched as the doctors peeled away the last few layers of bandages that covered Dinky’s eyes. With every layer that was removed, Dinky could see through her closed eyes that it got brighter and brighter, until eventually, the blurred light was almost blinding, and she heard the doctor call out to her.
“Alright Dinky, I want you to slowly open your eyes, OK?”
Grinning like a school filly, Dinky opened her eyes, and almost instantly, her concept of blinding light changed, since it felt as if there was a star hanging from the ceiling of the room she was in, and that her eyes were being burnt to a crisp as she stared in front of her. Her hoof helped to shade her eyes, and she could finally see that in the background there was an open door with ‘217’ written on it. In the foreground there was a mare who could barely keep her eyes dry and open who had her hooves clapped to her lips, and who constantly let out short squeals of joy.
Derpy could no longer resist, and she stretched out her hooves, pulling her daughter closer, cradling her head against her neck and stroking the prickly yellow mane. Giving her a smile and a slow nod, Dr. Stable trotted out of the room and left the elated mother and daughter in each others hooves.
“I can see you again mommy,” cried Dinky, her voice breaking. “And I can’t see the window anymore!”
Derpy’s lips quivered as she pecked Dinky on the cheek and she pulled her into another hug, cradling her like a mother and her newborn, precious foal.
“That’s great Dinky, that’s great!”
For what seemed like hours, the two ponies stayed like that, both crying tears of joy and delight, whereas one of them cried with regret and sorrow as well as her happiness. Eventually, Dinky had drifted off in Derpy’s hooves, and when the sound of gentle snores could be heard, Derpy tucked her into the bed and sat by her side for a while. Not long after Dinky’s tears dried, Derpy heard a knock on the door, and it felt as if her eyes were going to pour out a river as she dreaded the pony behind the sound.
“Hello Derpy,” whispered Carrot Top, seeing that Dinky was asleep. “I signed the papers,” she told Derpy, placing some documents on the bedside table next to a pile of unfinished homework that had accumulated over the months.
Hastily, Derpy grabbed the papers in her mouth and stuffed them into her saddlebag before sighing with relief.
“Is something wrong?” asked Carrot Top, approaching her.
“No, I just don’t want her to see them,” replied Derpy as she stared lovingly at Dinky.
“Have you told her?”
“Not yet...” mumbled Derpy, sighing. “But don’t worry, I’ll tell her eventually,” she reassured.
Carrot pulled up another chair and sat down next to her friend. She could see that Derpy was fixated on Dinky, and she knew why, but she didn’t expect her to be this calm. What Derpy was about to do was huge, but she didn’t seemed fazed by it at all. Behind all her tears, Derpy seemed happy.
“Carrot,” started Derpy, turning to face the mare.
“Hm?”
“Would you mind if for the first few days, Dinky stays with me?”
“Of course I don’t mind!” she replied. “Take as much time as you need, there’s no need to rush.”
Derpy smile at Carrot Top, and she smiled back at her. That was something that Carrot Top expected she would say.