//------------------------------// // Act 1 - Part 6: A filly named Colt // Story: Fallout Equestria: Souls // by JustMoth //------------------------------// Fallout Equestria: Souls Act 1 - Part 6: A filly named Colt Waste Land Survival Lesson 27: ”Don’t get locked into just one way of thinking.” Desert Blossom now owns a slave? Well, I can’t say that I’m all that surprised. With Desert’s odd values mixed with her ignorance of wasteland society, she probably doesn’t see anything wrong with owning a slave. ‘Colt’, who only wore only a pair a saddle bags and a large knife in a holster on her foreleg, looked healthy and thrilled to be Blossom's slave. Second on the other hoof, was completely gob smacked at the young blue unicorn's announcement, causing his magic grip on the shotgun to evaporate. Luckily, Colourful’s quick reflexes allowed him to catch it with his mouth before it hit the ground. The zebra then casually set the weapon on a nearby table as Desert trotted over to the stunned Hoof. “Did you get my jumpsuit fixed?” The yellow pegasus asked Hoof, opening his saddle bags with a hoof and sticking her head inside. “Yeph!” Desert cheered through the garment in her mouth. In no time at all Blossom had climbed into her old Stable outfit and zipped it closed. “Total sweetness!” Desert called out, looking over her shoulder at the pockets added to the jumpsuit’s sides. I doubt I’m ever going to get used to her saying that! “These new pockets really help to hide my wings. Thanks Second!” The unicorn stallion was still in a complete brain lock and didn’t respond. “Aww...” Colt said with a pout. “But your beautiful wings are one of your best features Mistress Blossom. You shouldn’t hide them.” “Now, now, Colt.” Zebra gently admonished the young unicorn. “While I do agree that her wings are nothing to be ashamed of, Desert has personal reasons to keep them out of sight and it’s not your place to disagree. “ “You’re right C.Z.” Colt said with a sigh and then turned back to Desert. “But your wings really are pretty!” “Well…” Blossom looked away awkwardly while testing extending her wings through the pocket-flaps. “Maybe I could leave them out a bit once we’re out of town.” “Speaking about our lovely little town.” Colourful spoke up. “Colt, why don’t you show Desert around while I finish up my chat with Second.” “Sure thing C.Z.!” The young mare gave an eager salute and guided Blossom to the door. “Come on, I’ll show you where they have the mild-west dances, they’re a hoot!” As the door clicked shut behind them, Hoof brain must have finally finished rebooting. “What… Just…happened?” He said in a daze. “I told you that I was a slaver and then you found out your friend just got a slave.” Colourful offered helpfully. “Oh. Right.” Hoof said still shaken. “Where’s my…?” Before he could finish, the zebra pointed a hoof to the table where he set the shotgun down. “Ah thanks.” “No problem at all.” Zebra said agreeable as Hoof floated the shotgun at him. He’s rather calm about having a weapon pointed at him. Does this kind of altercation happens a lot, or is it just that he has complete control over his emotions? “Before you strike me down in a fit of righteous indignation over the horrors of slavery, might I propose a question to you?” “What?” Hoof said warily. “Can you tell me why slavery is such a moral abomination?” Zebra asked seriously, looking past the shotgun and into Hoof’s eyes. “Because buying and selling of ponies is wrong, obviously.” Hoof answered back. “That’s merely rewording the statement, not answering the why.” “Fine.” Hoof said with a harder tone. “Because slavers beat, abuse, rape, and work to death their slaves.” “That is a terrible symptom of the problem, and a generalization at that.” Zebra kept his voice calm and agreeable. “But still not the root cause.” “Because, slaves are not free…?” Hoof’s voice had a hint of uncertainty to it and the shotgun wavered in the air. “That is closer to the truth.” The zebra nodded. “The true reason why slavery is seen as such a horrendous crime against pony-kind, is because ponies usually become slaves not by their own choice.” Hoof rolled his eyes. “Duh!” “True, it does seem obvious, but you didn’t answer it.” Colourful said with a chuckle. “When a pony is forced to do something against their will, they naturally rebel. They refuse to work, they fight back, they run away.” Zebra began to pace back and forth across the room as he spoke, more like monologuing, while Hoof kept the shotgun pointing at his head. “To stop this rebellion, slavers tend to use violence. This spurns on more rebellion, which only increases the violence, escalating in a bloody cycle for and against control. Only the slavers that are willing, or even eager, to be more violent and horrid than the slave’s will to rebel are prosperous.” “Makes sense…” Hoof agreed. “But what’s your point?” “My point is,” The zebra stopped pacing and looked straight at Hoof. “all that violence and horror would be done away with if a pony chose to be a slave.” “Ha!” Hoof whinnied derisively. “Who would ever willingly choose to be a slave?” “I did.” Zebra said pointedly. “The story I told you about serving Ferret wasn’t only a lesson in the dangers of generalizations, or for the clever pun.” “It wasn’t that clever…”Hoof said under his breath. Colourful ignored the unicorn and resumed pacing. “Since it was my choice, I didn’t rebel, or fight back, or try to escape. In return, Ferret treated me with kindness and respect. I was a valued asset, not an animal to be cowed into submission. Once my contract was up, I began thinking how others in situations like I was could benefit from the same solution.” “Other zebras with busted up mouths?” Hoof raised an eyebrow. “No so literally.” Colourful chuckled. “Wastelanders off all species who find themselves at a point in their lives where they seem to have no options left. I try to find ways of giving them another option, in exchanged for their freedom, which in many cases is all they have left.” “How do you mean?” Hoof seemed genuinely curious about what Colourful was saying. He’d even forgotten to keep the shotgun trained on the slaver. “I can’t give any names due to confidentially, but I can give general examples.” Zebra walked over nearby desk and shifted some papers with his hoof. “A pony that ran up a gambling debt across Equestria so high that he was wanted dead in just about every town with a slot machine. He chose a 20 year contract to serve a buffalo chieftain in exchanged for his debts to be paid off over that time.” “What stops him from running off on his contract?” Hoof asked. “Since his debt is paid incrementally, if he breaks the contract prematurely there would still be a substantial price on his head.” The zebra lifted some papers with his hoof, letting one droop as he listed examples. “There’s the griffon that chose servitude over religious execution. A zonkey that chose the anonymity we provide to escape a violent lover. A mother of four that couldn’t even feed her children came to us and now they’re all living comfortably in Tenpony tower, posing as her master’s wife and children.” “Rosie is a slave!?” Hoof blurted out. Well that confirms that he’s from Tenpony alright. He’s quite a ways away from home… “Oh, you know her?” Colourfull said surprised. “That was a rather tricky and delicate placement due to Tenpony’s anti-slavery rules.” The zebra then looked plaintively at Hoof. “I beg you not to breathe a word of it. Not only would mean the execution of Mr. Goldenrod, but little Lilac has just started making friends and I heard that Sweet Pea needs braces.” Second looked really morally torn for a moment, and then sighed. “No pony actually buys that those are his wife and kids, but no way would they ever believe that the fay old stallion is a slaver. My reputation would be in question for even suggesting it.” Talk about trying to justify not being a heartless home wrecker… “I thank you.” Zebra bowed his head. “I hope that you now see how my methods are far removed from your average slaver, and actually strive to help ponies.” “Hmmm…” Hoof thought to himself. All the fight and determination he had before was completely gone, they shotgun just idly floated off to the side of the room. "If it's so far removed, why not just call it something different than slavery?" "Losing one's freedom and becoming the property of another isn't something to be sugar-coated with euphemisms, even if it's by choice." The zebra said sternly. "I choose to use the word 'slave' to make clear the gravity of the position, and I hope some day my business model will replace the horrible methods used by other slaver, so that the violent stigma of the term fades." Colourful's mood then shifted as he observed Second lost in thought. “My apologies, but if you would excuse me I have Colt’s paperwork to finalize.” The mention of the filly’s contradictory name snapped Second out of his reverie. “I have to talk to Desert about this…” The unicorn absently exited the room. Once outside he stopped a moment, face hoofed, and then briefly reentered the building to sheepishly retrieve his shotgun. ~~~***~~~ While Hoof trotted around Appleloosa looking for Blossom and Colt, he started muttering to himself and starting to get more annoyed. Most likely he was coming up with arguments to counter everything that Zebra had said to him, trying to restore his world view that all slavers are bad. It caught me off guard too, but it just goes to show the ingenuity of some wastelanders. To take something as horrible as slavery and find a way to help ponies, there certainly worse things you can do in Equestria. I suspect that Second has trouble when something conflict with how he thinks things should be. In his mind bugs should be squashed, even when not a threat. Strange shadow creatures are dangerous, even when it appears more afraid of him. All slavers are horrible and should be shot, even ones they help ponies you know. And Blossom… well, I still don’t know what he expected her to be, but I bet ‘pegasus slave owner’ wasn’t it. At least Hoof didn’t have that shooty look any more. He didn’t pull it off well. Hoof finally found Colt and Desert by a rundown merchant stand filled with broken and empty crates just outside of town. “Hey Hoof!” Blossom waved the unicorn over to her. “Colt’s been showing me around.” “This is Apple Bobbing, Juniper Berry, and Berry Sew.” Colt happily introduced the not so happy looking family of unicorns tending the stall. In all my years of travelling, I’ve never seen a more dishevelled, down cast, and tragic looking group of ponies. Putting Pinkie Pie at one side of a scale of joy and happiness, these ponies looked like they would fall on the opposite end of the scale. Just looking at their dour expressions made me feel better off about my own situation… and I’m dead! “It’s a pleasure to see you again Miss Colt.” Juniper Berry drawled with an accent I couldn’t quite place. She had a dusty brown coat and dirty blond mane and tail, or that could have been actual dust and dirt… “Looks like you finally got yourself a master.” “Yup!” Colt beamed. “Mistress Blossom is super keen!” The young unicorn then turned to Apple Bobbing. “Hey Bob, what happened with your stall? Last I saw, you had crates of fresh apples.” The bruise coloured stallion, please let that just be his coat colour, let out a long sigh. “Mighty unlucky business with all that.” “That’s a shock, you look like such prosperous ponies.” Hoof said sarcastically. That really wasn’t called for Second, not everypony can live in Tenpony Tower. You’re just snippy since Desert is now technically a slaver, no need to be snarky to strangers. “Don’t let the fancy store front fool you, it’s all a façade.” Juniper said earnestly. “Yup. I figured putting on some fancy airs may attract more customers.” Apple Bobbing said looking over the rickety wooden stall. He considered this fancy? “The trouble all started a few weeks back when we sold our entire life savings for a treasure map.” “We’ll never see those 17 caps again…” Juniper signed. “Little Berry Sew even offered up her pet rock to sweeten the deal.” “I wouldn’t let her though, a filly needs some companionship.” Bobbing said resolutely. “Let me guess.” Hoof interjected. “The treasure map was a fake?” “No, it was real all right.” The downtrodden stallion answered. “Led us to a Solaris.Inc organic foods research facility. We found there crates of specially treated apples that were protected from rotting, bruising, insects, and just about everything else.” “Wow, that sounds like an incredible find.” Blossom said impressed. I could easily see how you could make quite a few caps off of apples like… Wait. Did he say Solaris.Inc? Oh no, I think I know where this is going. “We thought so too at the time.” Juniper agreed. “But then we learned that ‘just about everything else’ included biting, cutting, cooking, and eating. Just about all they were good for was looking and smelling fresh.” “And they bounced real good too!” The light orange Berry Sew added with a giggle. That sure sounds like something Solaris.Inc would come up with. I wouldn’t be surprised if they also had an inorganic foods research facility somewhere in the wasteland. “We reckoned that we might as well try selling them as decorations, but folks around these parts didn’t have much need for apples you can’t eat.” Apple levitated off his tattered hat, dusted it off, and then put it back on somehow dustier. “Then one night a real fortuitous turn of events happened.” “We got crabs.” Juniper said with a content tone. “What?” The three ponies listening to the story said in unison. Hoof said it in awkward disbelief, Colt said it while giggling, and Blossom seemed honestly curious. I would have said it too, but I’m dead and all. “Desert crabs.” Apple Bobbing clarified. “Ornery critters, about the size of your hoof. They must have smelled the apples and a bunch of them managed to get into the crates. They’re down right stubborn things and refuse to give up on vittles until they’re all eaten. So in the morning we found them all still trying to bite a pinch those apples.” “Desert crabs cook up really well, so pa had the great idea of luring more in with them apples and then breeding them as livestock.” Berry Sew boasted proudly. “But our good fortune had run out.” The disheveled stallion said sadly. “We set the crates out again yesterday and by evening we already had several more crabs. Then around midnight there was the sounds of a terrible ruckus.” “Well, it was more of a fracas than a ruckus." Juniper continued. “We all ran out and shone our horns to light the place up, and we just couldn’t believe what we saw.” “What was it?” Colt asked eagerly. “Some strange magic force had merged all the desert crabs we caught with the apples.” Bobbing shook his head in dismay. Second raised his hoof. “Wait. You’re telling me they became…” “Yup.” The other stallion sighed. “Crabapples, mighty big ones too.” Ugh! I wish I could still face hoof, fortunately Second did it for me. It’s like there’s some driving force in the universe out to just make bad puns. “They soon all scattered off into the desert. Leaving us without crabs or apples, just broken boxes and each other.” Juniper finished the sad story and held her little filly close. “The goddesses giveth and the goddesses taketh away.” “I’ll take them.” Desert announced. Second stomped his hoof and yelled at the pegasus. “You can’t just go around buying ponies!” “I was talking about the boxes.” Desert pointed to the broken wooden crates. Hoof could give Colourful Zebra a run for his caps at how fast he managed to turn red with embarrassment. “And I didn’t buy Colt, she was a gift from Colourful as thanks for saving his life.” “The gift that keep on giving!” The young blue unicorn chimed in. The yellow pegasus turned to the shop keepers. “How does 17 caps for the lot of them sound?” ~~~***~~~ Once Desert dismantled the wooden crates into flat board so they would fit in Colt’s saddle bags, Hoof insisted that it was time to leave Appleloosa. Now that they were out of the desert and in the wasteland proper, the thicker cloud cover made travelling during the day much easier, and by about noon they took a break for lunch. I think Desert’s apparent kindness to those out of luck ponies took the edge off Hoof fuming about Colt. At least, he hasn’t mentioned the issue since leaving town. Personally, I doubt that she bought those crates for purely altruistic reasons. I’m willing to bet that she has some crazy contraption planned for the wood and nails. “I just wish I could have met some normal ponies before leaving Appleloosa.” Desert said between the marker in her mouth as she drew in her notebook. “Oh. I guess I did focus on showing off the more… interesting residents of Appleloosa.” Colt said while lying across a large flat boulder, her saddle bags resting off to the side. “Sorry about that Mistress Blossom.” Hoof gave out a frustrated sigh and telekinetically pushed away the sprite-bot he was working on. “Ugh! That’s enough of this ‘Mistress Blossom’ nonsense.” “It’s not nonsense.” Colt objected, rolling over on the boulder to face Hoof. “It’s a sign of respect between a slave and their master.” “I think it makes me sound all fancy.” Desert giggled. “No, I don’t mean the title.” Hoof shook his head. “I mean the whole slave and master thing. Don’t you think you should give Colt her freedom Desert?” “Why would I do that?” Desert asked puzzled. “She was a gift, and wouldn’t it be rude to just throw away a gift like that? If somepony gave you a sand-puppy as a gift, would you just get rid of it?” Second’s jaw dropped in shock at Desert’s reasoning. “No… I mean yes… wait!” He stammered before finally composing himself. “First off, it’s not right for ponies to be owed by anypony. Second, a pony shouldn’t have be given away as a gift! Third, yes I would get rid of a mole rat as a pet!” Blossom stomped her hoof in frustration at that last point. I guess she was still trying to sneak in getting Mole-estia back. “Hey Piezo, can I say something on my behalf?” Colt asked in an annoyed tone as she lifted a hoof in the air. “Piezo?” Hoof puzzled over the strange nickname. Don’t ask me, I don’t get it either. “I chose to be one of C.Z.’s slaves, and I agreed to Desert being my master.” Colt turned her head to the pegasus and grinned. “Quite happily in fact.” She then looked back to Hoof. “So don’t think you’re doing the righteous thing by telling her to cancel our contract, you’re just going against our own wishes.” I have to admit, Desert equating a living pony to a gift or a pet is rather unnerving. Yet, if Colt chose a life of servitude, would that make her being seen as a possession ok since it was her decision? Ugh, the morality of this is too messed up and complicated. Hoof face hoofed. “How could you make a decision like that? How old are you?” “Almost twenty.” Colt said confidently. “And by almost, you mean…” Hoof countered. “Fifteen.” “Fifteen?” Hoof said surprised. She is a little on the small side, but that’s about the age I figured. What was so… “And you don’t even have a cutie mark yet?” What? Really? He was right. I never really took notice of Colt’s flank before, honest, but it’s the same light blue as the rest of her coat. “Were you so desperate to get one that you tried for a slave cutie mark?” The unicorn stallion asked in disbelief. What would a slave cutie mark even look like? a pair of shackles? Colt rolled onto her back on the large rock and stared up at the clouds. “That’s not why I chose to be a slave.” She said in an annoyed tone. “And I do have a cutie mark. It’s just currently clear, like my mane and tail.” Focusing my perception on her mane, I saw that it really wasn’t light sliver like I first thought. Each hair was like a strand of glass, the shine of them all together just made it look silvery, like a thin waterfall. Yet, what did she mean by her cutie mark is ‘currently’ clear? “So that settles it.” Desert declared, though I don’t see how anything was settled. “I’m keeping Colt.” Hoof rolled his eyes. “What kind of name is Colt for a filly anyways?” “It’s the name my clan gave me.” Colt said casually. “Your clan…?” Hoof said in a nervous tone. Now Second, don’t jump to conclusions. Maybe she’s from Shetland, and just doesn’t have the traditional accent. Her being from a clan doesn’t mean she’s a… “The Sinister Plot. The raider clan I grew up in.” Colt answered proudly. Ok… I guess it does mean she's a raider. Judging by his views on slavery, Second should be having a moral freak out any moment now. “You were a raider!?” Hoof screamed in outrage, taking a step back from the small mare reclining in the boulder. “Nothing ‘were’ about it.” Colt said matter-of-factly. “You don’t stop being a raider just because you stop raiding. Just as you’re still a murderer even if you stopped killing ponies. It becomes part of who you are.” “Umm… What’s a raider?” The amnesiac Stable pegasus asked, looking up from her drawing. “Raiders,” Hoof started angrily. “are savage, ruthless, evil ponies. They'll rape you to death, eat your flesh, and decorate their camps with your insides. If you’re very lucky, they'll do it in that order." “Wro-ng.” Colt called from her rock in a sing-song voice. She sat up on her haunches and looked at Desert. “Raider, are simply a group of ponies that mainly survive by using raiding tactics, hence the name. They use hit and run attacks on other groups to gain their food, weapons, ponies, or whatever else they have of value. It’s not the most polite way of getting by, but it is one of the most effective.” Hoof snorted derisively. “And the whole horrific slaughtering and dismembering thing is just a hobby then?” Colt dismissed Second with a wave of her hoof. “That’s just what some uncreative clans do as a hook. Don’t assume all clans are like that.” “A hook?” Blossom said puzzled. Considering what I’ve seen some raider clans do, I hope she didn’t mean a literal hook. “A big part of maintaining a clan is getting other clans to either fear or respect yours, so they don’t try to attack you.” Colt explained, lying back down on the boulder. “So most clans come up with a ‘hook’, or gimmick, which makes them stand out. Some have the hook of using just a certain weapon, like flamers or energy pistols. Others use the hook of having uniforms, could be anything from a same colour bandana to ornate costumes. The unoriginal clans default to the ‘savage raider’ hook, trying to look like wild and crazy ponies that will wear your spleen as a hat if you look at them wrong.” I knew there were different kinds of raiders, but I never suspected that there were psychological motivations behind why they looked how they did. Hoof looked like he was struggling to come up with an argument, but then he just let out a frustrated groan and marched back to his sprite-bot. Looks like all his black and white perceptions of the wasteland are being deconstructed today. “So, how did you become a raider?” Blossom asked while returning to her drawing. “Oh.” Colt said dramatically. “It’s a cautionary tale of loss and…” “The mistakes of youth?” Desert finished with a smile. “Aww, C.Z. already used that line?” Colt pouted. “Twice.” Hoof called from his sprite-bot. “Well it really is a tale of loss and mistakes of youth.” The young pegasus started. “The loss part was when I lost my parents to a plague when I was just a tiny filly. My older brother took care of me the best he could, but one day rad-scorpions attacked our camp and he died protecting me.” “I’m so sorry…” Desert said sadly. “That’s just how the wasteland is, it doesn’t discriminate by age.” Colt said with a sigh. “Luckily, I soon found my new family.” “Your clan?” “Yup.” Colt’s voice perked up a little. “I was alone and starving by the time I came across their camp. My brother always warned me to stay away from raiders because they do terrible things to fillies. Being just a little foal, I took his warning too literally, and figured I would be safe as long as they didn’t know I was a filly. So I cut my mane short to look like a colt.” Desert let out a giggle at this plan. “Yeah, I was kinda stupid back then.” Colt blushed before continuing her story. “I then just cantered into the camp like I belong there, went right to the dining tent, sat down at the centre of the table, and started eating the food set there. All the raiders must have been either too surprised or amused to say anything. That was until their chief came up and asked why there was a little filly in his seat. I just looked up at him and said ‘I’m not a filly, I’m a colt!’ in the deepest voice I could.” “That must have been adorable!” Desert laughed. “Well, fortunately for me, the chief saw it as either really brave or really crazy. Both were traits that he respected.” Colt smiled. “He played along with my silly plan and referred to me as Colt, and so all the other raiders did too. That night I explained to Chief Ghoully…” “Chief Ghoully?” “Yeah, that’s what I called him, since he was the chief and a ghoul, and I was a silly little filly.” Colt explained, blushing again. “The other clan members called him Rajah Ghoul. To those outside the clan he was known as The Sand Spider." "Why?" Blossom asked. "Probably because it sounds scary.” Colt shrugged. “After I explained to him all that happened, he allowed me to stay as part of the clan. At first I was more like their mascot, but over the years they became more like a family of dozens of big brothers. Eventually I even went out on raids with them as an equal.” “Sounds like your plan actually worked out well.” The yellow pegasus smiled. “No, I just got really lucky.” Colt said with a self-deprecating chuckle. “I later found out that posing as a colt was the worst idea I could have come up with. You see, the Sinister Plot’s ‘hook’ was that they the biggest, meanest, strongest group of colt cuddlers in all the wasteland.” “Ha! Really fearsome force that must have been.” Second snorted derisively. I didn’t even think he was paying attention to Colt’s story. He then took on a mocking lisp and failed a fore-hoof limply “Like, these metal spikes totally don’t go with my leather thong! And those intestines hung over there so doesn’t match the curtains.” “Hey Mistress.” Colt called happily. “Mind if I teach this disrespectful Lio Coh Jwei Ji Neong Hur Ho Deh Yung Duh Buhn Jah J'wohn some manners?” “Hmm?” Blossom said absently, not looking up from her drawing. “Yeah, ok.” “Thanks!” From her lying back position, Colt suddenly put her fore-hooves back over her head and sprang off then in a long backwards jump towards Second. Her back legs collided with the larger unicorn with enough force to send him flying sideways and landing with his hooves in the air. In a blink of an eye the blue mare straddled the prone stallion and pressed her small fore-hoof hard into the side of his neck, pinning him down. At the same time, her telekinesis had pulled the large knife with the spiked handle from its sheath on her fore-leg and suspended it a hair above Hoof’s panicking eye. “If you ever disrespect my clan again with that stereotypical gay junk.” Colt said in a frighteningly calm voice. “I’m going to use Mulbery here to slice off your ‘little pony’, and then shove it so far up your flank hole that you’ll have to yawn to take a wiz.” Ok… She’s definitely a raider! “Hey, wait a moment!” Desert said quickly getting to her hooves and galloping over to where Colt held Second down. Now that Blossom was talking charge of her slave, Hoof let out the breath he was holding. “What was that strange language you used before?” Desert asked Colt. Of all that just happened, that’s what struck you as odd?! “Oh, that was Eastern Goat.” The blue unicorn slave raider mare… Colt said casually, not moving the knife away from Hoof’s eye. “Chief Ghoully had a goat slave named Billy who doubled as my nanny when I was a filly. I picked up a little of the language from him.” A Billy goat that became a nanny goat? Really wasteland? Again with the puns? “Umm, help?” Second croaked to Desert under Colt’s hoof. The yellow pegasus looked down at Second and said sternly “Apologize for making fun of Colt’s clan.” “I’m sorry, it won’t happen again.” The stallion said quickly. With a smile, Colt floated her knife back into its holster and helped Hoof back on his Hooves. “Glad we could get that sorted out.” “Really Second.” Blossom scolded while shaking her head. “You shouldn’t have made fun of them just because they liked to cuddle Colt. She’s cute, and there’s nothing wrong with a stallions showing a little affection to their little sister. At least I think there isn’t, I can’t remember if I ever had a brother, but it feels like they should be like that.” Oh you naive pony… Hoof face hoofed while Colt, who had blushed bright red at being called cute, finally composed herself enough to talk. “Umm, Mistress. ‘Colt cuddler’ is another term for gay.” “You mean, like happy?” Blossom said uncertainly. “As in homosexual.” Hoof said rolling his eyes. “Stallions that have sex with other stallions.” The yellow pegasus just blinked in confusion, then whispered over to Colt. “Can they really do that?” “Oh yes!” Colt grinned, looking a little perverted. “Some quite well!” “Oh?” Desert asked curiously. “But how do they…” “THAT’S IT! BREAK’S OVER!” Hoof declared in a loud and awkward voice, stuffing the sprite-bot into his saddle bag and trotting off. The two mares had to quickly grab their things to catch up. ~~~***~~~ As the odd trio trotted across the wasteland, Colt regaled Blossom with wild and amusing anecdotes about her life in the raider clan. Some of the more risqué tales would have even made me blush if I still had cheeks. Any time the stories started to get graphic, with either violence or stallion promiscuity, Hoof would pick up his pace to get out of earshot of the mares. Unfortunately, the gun I’m tied to was still in his saddle bags, so I missed most of the juicy stuff. Just as the sun was setting, Colt suddenly stopped in front of the blasted out shell of a house they were trotting by. “Ok, Mistress! We’re making camp here.” The teen unicorn declared. “What?” Hoof stopped to look back at Colt. “This is the middle of nowhere. We should keep going and try and find a cave or some kind of shelter.” Colt rolled her light blue eyes. “It being the middle of nowhere is exactly why we’re making camp here. There’s no higher elevation for anypony to snipe from, no serious cover for anypony to sneak up behind, and for the past hour I haven’t seen tracks of any critter larger than a pony.” “And to clarify, Mistress and I are making camp here.” Colt levitated her saddle bags to the ground and continued in a cheery tone. “You can go on if you like. I’m sure that whatever yao guai or dragon living in the cave you find would be happy to have you over for dinner. Or the Red Hoof clan, whose turf we’re on, would welcome you into any shelters you find, and insist that you stay.” To his credit, Second didn’t show how unnerving these options suddenly appeared to him. Only with my omnipresent view could I see the hairs on the back of his mane bristle up. “Well…” The stallion started, trying to sound calm. “Having four to take watch would be safer than two, so I guess I’ll camp here too.” “Four?” Bloosom said puzzled. “There’s only three of us.” He wasn’t counting me was he? Hoof’s horn glowed, and the sprite-bot that he had been working on for the past few days was levitated out. “Oh, it’s Mole-estia’s boyfriend!” Desert identified cheerfully. Second face hoofed. “I told you before, that molerat was male.” “So?” The yellow pegasus started. “According to colt, stallions…” “I’ve reprogrammed this sprite-bot.” Hoof quickly cut the mare off. “It will now patrol a set distance from your Pip-Buck, and if it detects any hostile intruders it will sound and alarm and open fire.” Hoof’s glow disappeared from around the round robot and it began floating under its own magical power as a green light emitted from behind the eye like grates. Suddenly, the glow turned red and an alarm sounded from inside the sprite-bot as it pivoted to face Colt and fired an energy blast next to her hoof. “Oops.” Second chuckled as the glow from his horn surrounded the bot again. “I guess I’ll have to add an exception to the raider targeting program.” That wasn’t funny… The blue mare didn’t seem to appreciate the joke either. As she glared at the stallion, the silver glow from her horn matched the one around her sheathed knife. “Hey Colt.” Blossom called out from the far side of the ruined house. “Can you help me with the camp fire?” Colt shot daggers at Hoof a moment longer (not literally, though I’m sure she would like to), and then trotted happily over to Desert. They were just on the edge of my perception range, but I could tell they were whispering to each other about something. A couple minutes later, Blossom called over to Second. “Hey! Come and watch this!” Hoof trotted over, bringing my perception sphere along, and looked over the mares’ progress. They had cleared out a simple fire pit and surrounded it with stone, in the centre planks of wood were piled up in a rough cone shape. That’s what Desert planned for those crates? Fire wood? That’s a little anticlimactic… “Stand back.” The yellow pegasus warned to Hoof, taking several steps back from the unlit fire pit herself. Once the two mares deemed that they were all far enough away, Colt faced the fire pit and her horn began to glow. And nothing happened. A few moments later and Colt’s horn was glowing brighter, beads of sweat ran down her forehead from concentration. “What is she…” Hoof started, but Desert shushed him and pointed to the fire pit. Is Colt trying to light th.. WOAH!! A huge ball of fire erupted from the middle of the wood, sending some board flying while the rest ignited instantly. Hoof’s eyes went wide and the pyrotechnic display and his mouth hung open. He looked over at the two mares and they were all smiles. “Colt can set things on fire with her mind!” Desert announced proudly. Colt then stepped forwards and glared at Hoof again, her horn glowing brightly. The dark olive stallion suddenly went pale and started backing away from the small mare. “Hey now Colt, you know I was just kidding before.” The blue unicorn took another slow step forwards, her horn glowing brighter as sweat started to form on her forehead. Hoof tried to back pedal faster, but his rear hoof hit a rock, causing him to fall back onto his rump. Panicking, he screamed out “I’m sorry!” A small object surrounded in Colt’s silver magic suddenly passed in front of Hoof’s face. It was the red pin from an incendiary grenade. Both mares suddenly burst out laughing. Ok. That was funny! Hoof didn’t seem to appreciate the payback. He telekinetically lifted up his saddle bags and nearly threw them to the ground. “I’m going over there and scream to myself for a while!” Hoof pointed away from the house, then floated out his audio recorder and trotted off in that direction. Good thing he left his bags, I have no interest in listening to him rant to his diary. Blossom sat down on the ground with a sigh. “I think Hoof’s mad at me.” “He just needs to learn that nopony out pranks a raider.” Colt replied dismissively as she collected up in her magic the boards that were blown away when the grenade went off. “I don’t mean just this.” Desert said downcast. “Ever since he found out about my muta… I mean that I’m a pegasus, he’s been distant. Now it’s gotten even worse since getting you as a gift… “ Colt whinnied derisively and dumped the boards into the fire pit. “If he’s holding the fact that you have wings against you, then he’s even dumber than he looks. Your wings are awesome!” Colt beamed at Desert. “And don’t mind any objections he has about me being your slave. He’s just closed minded and doesn’t understand how C.Z.’s system works.” Desert idly dug at the dirt with a hoof and sighed. “Yeah… I know…” Colt looked concerned at Desert, then trotted over and sat beside her. “Why do you care what that city pony thinks anyways?” “It’s hard to explain…” Blossom started. “When we first met he was really nice to me, and that felt so new. I can’t remember what happened in my Stable, but I don’t think anypony was ever nice to me like that. So I travelled with him to keep feeling that way, but now he seems just angry and resentful towards me, and those are feeling that feel very familiar.” Desert let out a sad sigh and looked towards the fire. “I guess I just don’t want to lose the closest thing to a friend I probably ever had.” “Well, you have me now Mistress.” Colt said with a smile to the older mare. “So even if Hoof is stupid enough to not want to be your friend, I’ll be there for you!” Blossom smiled a little and tussled Colt’s mane with her hoof. “That’s sweet of you Colt, even if you’re just saying that because you’re my slave.” For a brief moment Colt had a sad look in her eyes and she opened her mouth as if to say something, but then it was gone and she closed her mouth. The two mares just quietly looked towards the fire for a few minutes, and then Colt’s eyes suddenly lit up. “Hey Mistress, what to see a neat trick?” Blossom looked at Colt with a smirk. “Does it involve grenades again?” Colt waved a hoof. “No it’s not that kind of trick. Just close your eyes.” The pegasus mare looked at Colt suspiciously for a moment and then closed her eyes like she was told. Colt stood up and moved around to face the sitting mare. Slowly she lowered her face to Blossom’s. She wasn’t going to kiss her was she? Whatever she’s planning, I advise against touching… The moment the tip of Colt’s horn touched Desert’s forehead, the pegasus’ eyes shot open and she scrambled backwards with a shriek. Quickly calming down, Desert looked at the stunned unicorn. “I’m sorry.” She apologized in a quiet voice. “I keep doing that when I’m touched suddenly, i can't help it. I think something in my stable…” She trailed off. “It’s ok Mistress.” Colt said, her voice sounding concerned. “I don’t need to touch you. It just works a little better if I do.” “No. No, it’s ok.” Blossom walked back over to colt and sat down. “Can… can I keep my eyes open though?” “Of course.” Colt smiled. “I just asked that for theatrics.” Colt leaned her head down to Blossom again. This time when the tip of her horn touched her forehead, Desert only tensed up a little. Colt’s horn began to glow bright silver, and after a moment the glow moved down to surround all of Desert. The two of them stayed like that for several second, then the glow disappeared and Colt sat back with a gasp. Desert’s eyes slowly went wide. “Wow… I feel great! What was that?” “Detox spell.” Colt said, catching her breath. “It’s my special talent. Cleans out most any contaminates and nasties. It even removes radiation, which you had quite a bit of. Just how long were you playing with those balefire eggs?” “Only for a half hour or… Your mane!” Desert pointed a hoof in surprise at Colt. I didn’t notice before due to the glow from her horn, but Colt’s clear mane and tail were now softly glowing a radioactive green. “Yep.” Colt stood up and ran a hoof through her glowing hair. “It’s a side effect of the spell. All the nasty stuff it takes out, it puts into me. The worst of it is reflected in my mane and tail. At least you can see my cutie mark clearly now.” She turned to show her flank to Blossom. Sure enough, the clear blue patch was replaced with the softly glowing image of a single droplet. I guess that answers what she meant by it not being currently visible before. “That’s so cool…” The pegasus said with awe. “Taking in radiation has the perk of helping me to find my way in the dark.” Colt joked. “Viruses and infections show up yellowish greens. Thanks to doubling as field medic for a band of raiders, my immune system can now quickly take care of anything I throw at it. I’ve also built up a resistance to most of the poisons common wasteland critters use. Those show up as blues and purples. The worst is when my mane turns black from some toxins or... EEP!” Desert, looking mesmerized by the glowing cutie mark, had suddenly decided to touch it with her hoof. “Hmm, I thought it would be warmer.” She mused to herself as she rubbed her hoof around the mark on the younger mare’s behind. “Oh, I think I can feel it getting warmer now!” For somepony that dosen't handle being touched suddenly very well, she sure dosen't seem too concerned about suddenly touching others. Also, I doubt that the bright red hue that Colt’s face suddenly took on was a side effect of her cleansing spell. “I’d better take some rad away.” The unicorn said hastily while side stepped away from Blossom. “I wouldn’t want to turn into a ghoul or anything.” As Colt trotted over to Hoof’s bags to look for rad-away, Desert pulled her notepad and a marker from a fore-leg pocket of her jumpsuit and set them down on a flat piece of lumber in the remains of the house. “Hey colt.” The yellow mare said from the marker in her mouth. “You mentioned that you’re resistant to diseases and poisons right?” “Yup.” Colt said proudly as she floated over the rad-away pouch and levitated out her spiked handled knife. “My immune system is like a micro raider army.” “But didn’t you say that parents died from a plague and your brother was killed by rad-scorpions?” Desert asked with a concerned tone as she wrote. Colt let out a long, sad, sigh. “Yeah… I only learned my special talent after it was too late to save my own family… The wasteland really bites like that.” “I’m sorry…” “I actually got my cutie mark while trying to save my brother from the rad-scorpion stings he received fighting them off.” Colt slit the top of the rad away pouch off as she talked in a low voice. “But I was just a little filly and didn’t have the magic strength to get enough poison out to save him. I think the poison I could remove helped him passed away in less pain at least.” Blossom put away her marker and turned to the young unicorn. “What was his name?” “Green Leaf. He would have been about your age by now.” Desert looked Sadly at Colt. “And what was your name?” Colt opened her mouth, but then only floated the rad-away pouch to it, drinking the contents in one gulp. “Gah! I’ll never get use to the taste of that stuff!” “You said that the raiders called you Colt.” Desert pressed the question. “What did your brother call you before that?” “Can’t remember.” Colt said with a shrug, the glow in her mane quickly fading. “It was a long time ago and I was just a stupid little filly back then. Like C.Z. says, names are just…” “What others call you.” Rock Flower finished, dropping the topic. ~~~***~~~ When Hoof came back he just told Colt that she was on first watch and then set his sprite-bot on patrol before going to sleep. I guess letting Colt guard the camp while he sleeps was Hoof’s way of showing that he trusts her despite their differences. Either that, or he’s having trouble reconciling the fact that the cheerful and helpful young unicorn is also a raider who has most likely murdered ponies for their possessions. I know I’m certainly am having trouble with it. Then again, she isn’t the first pony that I’ve known that grew up with raiders… …oooOOOooo... I came to a conclusion. All the pegasus have gone completely off their bit! It’s the only explanation for the weather that Dise has been having recently. Just this week, we’ve had in no logical order: -Long peels of thunder, when no lightning is ever seen. -Hard rains that turns anything unpaved into mud. -Stiff winds that would blow ponies over if they weren’t stuck in the mud. -Shafts of intense sunlight piercing the clouds and turning the mud to dust. -Where the sun doesn’t shine it’s as cold as a winter’s night! Yet right now is ever worse! It’s just completely silent. There’s isn’t even the slightest breeze, the clouds are not even moving, it’s like the air is dead. I’m willing to bet though, that I’m going to get wet by the end of my shift. Oh well, maybe I’ll get lucky and… “One. Two. Three. Check. Can you hear me?” So much for that thought. I pressed the hoof mounted switch on my transceiver to send. “I read you Dispatch. What’s up?” “We’ve got several reports of a drunk and disorderly unicorn making a scene in the central fountain.” The mare’s voice on the other end reported back. I face hoofed and suspected the worst. “You might want to get the sheriff.” Foalson… I was about to radio back that I’ll handle it, but then I had a much better idea. “Consider it…” I put on my authority sunglasses. “Checked out.” Oh I’m so cool! “Did you just put on your sunglasses as you said that?” The mare on the other end of the raid asked. “Umm… maybe.” Ok, not so cool. “You can’t see a damn thing right now can you?” “No…” Ok, not cool at all. I took the glasses off so I could see around the unlit buildings as I made my way to the central fountain. Dispatch is a nice mare, and was not bad on the eyes the rare time I actually saw her in person, but had no sense of humour and you couldn’t get anything past her. She seemed to live in that radio room, and was probably the only pony in Dise who could keep it running. I guess when your parents call you Dispatch, being a radio operator is your calling. Although, she could have made a living as a badass mercenary… I mimed holding a shot gun up to some imaginary outlaw’s head, then saying in my best Sylvester Stallion impression “You’ve been Dispatched!” before biting down on the imaginary trigger. Wait. Do you bite triggers or pull them with your tongue? I don’t know, I’ve been a deputy for nearly a year now and I don’t even have a pistol… While this is far from the toughest job I’ve had in the past 10 years of work, it’s in close second for the dullest. Let’s see, after my first job as stock pony for Mr. Ingot (now that was the dullest)… -I earned some spare caps putting on puppet shows for other foals while their parents were in the Winking Mare. -Gave up the puppets and just tried just begging on the streets for caps (mom and dad sure didn’t like that). -Connections I made on the street led into a brief job ripping programs off the remains of the ponynet. -Using a 200 year old word processing software I found, I tried my hoof at writing and performing poetry. -That got the attention of some rich eccentric pony and he hired me as a pawn in a life size chess game. I had no clue of the rules, but I somehow helped him win the game. -Was hired back by the same rich pony the next year, this time as the King. Guess I made a good impression with that win, or I just grew out of the pawn costume. -Connections I made with rich ponies in the game got me a job as a courier, sending messages from one hotel to the other. I think I even met Mr. House, but then I have no idea what he looks like. -Hanging around the hotels so much, I was soon hired as a crier to drum up business for them between courier jobs. That all went south after the noodle incident… -Finally I broke down and took a job working for my parents, serving drinks at the Winking Mare. After watching the dancers every day, I learned that stallions could be just as interesting as mares. -Applying this new found interest to my job hunting, I got a job at one of the more reputable brothels in Dise. Now that was an awkward letter of recommendation to ask my parents for… -After being fired for not adequately serving the ponies of Dise, I figured I would try protecting them, which brings me up to my current job as a sheriff’s deputy. Well that list down memory lane was a fun distraction, now I have to face the present and deal with this drunken idiot… “Foalson! Get out of the fountain!” “What was that deputy?” The inebriated unicorn called back. I sighed and face hoofed. “Fine, sheriff Foalson, get your drunk ass out of the fountain. Sir.” “No, I’m having a drink!” He belligerently responded while splashing his hooves around. “No drinking of the fountain water allowed until the purifier is fixed. Your orders.” I called back. I tried politeness, I may as well try reason. “But I’m not drinking the water. I’m drinking this!” He floated a bottle in front of my face. Before he could levitate the bottle back, I grabbed the mouth of it in my mouth and pulled it from his grip. Even when sober Foalson had poor control over his telekinesis, and right now I’m surprised he could lift this bottle. He’s normally not like this. On any other day he would be out on the street, stopping crime and making Dise a slightly safer place to live. Who would have thought that the bars on his cutie mark actually meant that he was skilled at putting ponies behind them? Well I guess Peachy did. She’s the one who used every bit of sway she had in the community to get him elected as sheriff, while others still saw him as the son of raiders. Which brings me to the most likely reason why he’s currently drunk. To ready myself, took a swig of the bottle still in my mouth. Oooh! That’s the good stuff! Where did Foalson find this? I set the bottle on the ground carefully, I might just have another sip of it when this is all over. For now, on to the matter at hoof… “You had another argument with Peachy, didn’t you?” Foalson shot me a dirty look. “Why don’t you make like a bloat-sprite and buzz…” He paused for a loud belch. “Off!” I rolled my eyes. “Foalson...” I said dryly. Although not as dry as I planned, whatever was in that bottle packs a punch. “Let’s both get inside, where you can dry off and dry out, and we’ll talk about...OW!” Foalson had floated up his old spear and whacked me across the head with the shaft. Hard to believe that he still had that thing after I traded him for it 10 years ago. He reinforced it several times along the shaft, and added a metal point at the end, but it was still recognizable as a pool cue. “Oh, you want to do this the hard way?” I stepped up on the ledge of the fountain. “Let’s do this the hard way!” He took another swing at me with the cue-spear, but in his drunken state it was easy to dodge. I closed the distance between us and gave his muzzle a whack with my fore hoof, sending him stumbling back. I didn’t want to hurt the guy, just knock a bit of sense into him. “You can’t keep doing this every time Peachy dumps you.” I told him, taking a step back. “It’s not like that this time. Besides, what do you care?” The tan unicorn shot back. “First off, because you’re my friend. Secondly, you’re my boss. And third, you’re making our city look bad.” I answered honestly. It seems like every job I had, at some point crossed paths with Foalson, and I got to know the stallion over the years. “I won’t argue the first two points, but you got the third wrong.” He looked around the fountain, probably for his bottle. “It’s not our city, it’s hers!” What is he going on about… woah! Ok, so he was looking for his cue-spear. I just managed to duck under anther swing. “Ok, Now I’m angry.” I lowered my head. “When you get madder than heck, you get a…” I charged through the fountain water at Foalson and slammed into his side. “Cross Check!” He may have been a few years older than me and I’m not exactly well built, but kilo per kilo, any earth pony can match a unicorn in a straight fight. The tan stallion went tumbling into the water, which I hoped will cool him off. “Now let’s get you back to Peachy, while she still might take you back.” I huffed, catching my breath. “She didn’t leave me.” Foalson said getting up, soaking wet. “I left her.” What? But Peachy was always the one to call things off, and then a week later takes Foalson back again. He was like some pathetic dog who… Ack! I forgot about his blasted cue-spear. He swept just above the water level and knocked me off my hooves. Wow this water is cold! Foalson stepped over me and put his hoof on my chest, pinning me down. “I realized that she’s just a manipulative witch!” He pressed his hoof harder, taking his frustration of her out on me. “She uses her charms and status to lure ponies in, and then just uses them for her own ends! She like some evil…” “Cazadorable?” I offered. “Yeah! Just like that damn thing on her…” Foalson’s eyes went wide in realization of just what the mare’s cutie mark represented. This is why I quickly lost interest in her years ago. He slumped down onto his haunches with a splash, and then started to laugh. “Oh, I’ve been such a fool!” “Well yeah, you kinda have.” I said with a smile. For my smugness, he splashed water at me with his hoof. Laughing, I splashed him back. “That’s it.” Foalson sighed wearily. “I’m giving up mares.” “Oh come on.” I said while lying back in the water, not caring how cold it was. I think that sip I took from that bottle before is going to my head. “There are plenty of mares in this town that are not horrid manipulating she-demons. How about asking out Dispatch?” I quickly glanced down to make sure my transceiver wasn’t sending. I would never hear the end of it if she knew I said that. Ok, it’s off. And soaking wet… Looks like I’ll never hear the end of this anyways… “No…” Foalson said with a low sigh. “I’ve been thinking about this for a while now. I might give stallions a try.” Oh? I didn’t know that his interests went both ways also. Although, I’ve always wondered why more ponies don’t take this view. It’s like how a wizard unicorn isn’t bound to just one magic skill and… Why is Foalson looking at me like that? “So, do you know any pony that might be interested in a no good raider’s son?” He asked, slowly standing up in the water and walking over to me. Just how drunk was he? Did he mean me? No, he couldn’t, not an average earth pony like me. He must mean the unicorns at the brothel I worked at, or the dancers at the Winking Mare. “I might…” I started. “You might?” He said with a smile, putting a hoof on my chest to hold me down. This time it was not out of anger like moments ago. His wet green and red mane hung down on either side of his face as he looked down at me. I guess both are his natural colours. “Well I didn’t mean that exactly, but I… Hmmh” He stopped me with a sudden kiss. I closed my eyes and returned the kiss. I could taste the alcohol he’d been drinking, but other than that, the kiss was rather good for his first time with another stallion. Mmmmm, he sure knew how to… OH! Still in the kiss, my eyes shot open again in surprise. Oh goodness, I’ll never knock his magic control again! Looking up I could see his horn glowing dark blue, and I could feel the tingle of his magic gently surrounding my… …oooOOOooo... “AAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!” Second shot up from his bed roll screaming in terror. He then quickly covered himself with it. “What the hay happened?!” Colt called out, galloping over with her knife draw. Hoof interrupted my reminiscing just as I was getting to the really good part, that’s what happened! “Sorry. I think I had a terrible nightmare.” Second tried to explain while catching his breath. “But I can’t remember what it was.” “Aww, you woke me up for that?” Desert moaned from where she was sleeping. “The dream I was having was… interesting.” Was she blushing, or was that just the campfire light? “Well I don’t mind.” Colt added glumly. “Whatever dream I was having just left me feeling homesick for my clan.” That reminds me, why did Colt leave her… “Your dream!?” Hoof called out. “You were the one on guard duty!” Colt dismissed the complaint with a wave of her hoof. “Don’t worry, I already told you that this place was safe. Besides, Third was still on watch.” “Third?” Hoof looked puzzled. “Yeah, Third Hoof.” Colt pointed at the sprite-bot as its patrol brought it into view. “I figured that your father was the First Hoof, which made you the Second Hoof, so I called him Third Hoof since he’s like your son.” Ha, never thought of his name like that. Things may get awkward by the Fifth hoof though! Hoof face hoofed. “That’s not what my name means. Also, the sprite-bot is not like a son to me.” Colt whinnied in mock annoyance. “You’re just resentful of him because he’s gay.” “Really Second?” Desert asked reproachfully. “You should be more accepting of Third’s life choices.” “He’s not gay!” Hoof yelled, getting flustered. “I mean, it’s not a ‘he’. It’s not gay.” “The parents are always the last to know…” Colt shook her head knowingly. “Well, my shift was just about over anyways, so you’re on watch now Hoof.” “This will give you some quality time to talk with Third.” Blossom giggled at Second as Colt trotted over and lay down beside her. Ah, with these two mares around, it might not be long before Hoof lightens up on his absolutist views. Or he’ll be driven right off his bit. Either way, tomorrow should be rather interesting… ----- This fan-fic is just part of a larger story... -Hear another side of the larger narrative with Fallout Equestria: Sounds -See the bigger picture, take a look at Fallout Equestria: Sights. -Follow the progress of all three tales at the Sights Sounds Souls Tumblr (and ask Colt questions). -Track all the parts in one place at the Project Hub! Author note: With Colt on board the party is in full swing! I may have gone overboard with the references though, using everything from Frank Sinatra to the original Dirty pair, and with all the other puns, in-jokes, and subtle gags, I doubt anyone would get all of them. ^^; Huge thanks to all my editors! My Souls editors Nyerguds and Hidden_Fortune, without whom this fic would be 20% lamer. My Sights editor Julep, who keeps all the pictures nice and derp free! My Sounds editor No One, whose constant encouragement is what got this insanity off the ground to begin with (and for making FoE: Heroes the best Fallout Equestria side fic ever)! And super thanks to Kkat for making this wild wasteland we all play in!