Well, that was it. Blueblood looked over the table. A nice spread of exotic treats and a bit of homecooking. Well, dragonhomecooking, actually. He expected Twilight to pitch in a little, given it was her idea to begin with, but he was not expecting Spike to take over his kitchen. Admittedly, it was a good thing - Blueblood himself tended to view kitchen as an arcane place of eldritch alchemy. Still, a baby dragon cooking? Surreal, no question about it. Given the history of dragons and ponies, that counted as exotic treat as well - dragons rarely cooked anything a pony could stomach and even more rarely invited ponies to dinner as guests rather then a part of meal.
Thankfully, the event was supposed to happen at his house, so he was not in need of disguise. Though... No, that`s just silly. Pretending to be Civil Act would not help to resolve this situation. Blueblood sighed. He had little desire to actually face Rarity again, but he was well aware it had to be done, lest his relationship with Twilight Sparkle suffer grievously. And Twilight herself was most definitely worth the effort. How bad it could be, anyways? He faced down irate nobles by the dozens back in the court. Well, but the stakes were a bit less intimate back then... Oh well.
Speaking of Twilight, where is she? It`s been almost half an hour since she had departed to fetch Rarity - they should be here any second now. Well, everything`s ready. He sat down on the sofa and stretched his legs, reviewing his newly updated mental dossier on Rarity. According to what Twilight explained, Rarity was known for her generosity. That didn`t mesh well with the fact she plied her trade in the most vain, snobbish and superficial business known to ponies - fashion. But it also gave Blueblood some interesting clues on what had prompted the Gala fiasco.
Could it be that Rarity was simply naive and vain enough to assume the court to operate at face values? Possibly. In retrospect, she was acting like it, preposterous as it sounded. Annual attendance of Gala numbered close to thousand, more then a half of it - mares. Equestria had four princes. Prince Blueblood, prince Charming, prince Valiant, and recently, prince Stalwart. Out of those, only Blueblood had any sort of eligibility - Prince Valiant was happily married for a over a decade now, Prince Stalwart was his son and only four years old and Prince Charming was openly gay. Well, right now, Shining Armor was also a prince by the virtue of his marriage, but during the gala, he was simply a knight.
Simple math suggested that Rarity`s chances of snagging a prince at the gala were negligibly small. So either she came to gala so starry-eyed that she neglected to do the math, or she was really a golddigger Blueblood pegged her for. Either was unpleasant, but he almost wished for second case. Letting aside the fact it would justify his deplorable attitude, he had a good idea how to deal with golddigging mares. He knew what kind of reason they do listen to, and he had bargaining chips to offer, if things got serious. Naive idealists? Those ponies tended to be most difficult to deal with - not just because of their idealistic convictions, but also due to the fact that discouraging them required to crush their ideals, forcibly cramming them face-first into ugly realities of life. Still, he was ready for that as well.
Knocking brought him out of his reverie. "Come on in, it`s unlocked." - he responded, fully expecting Twilight to come in. Instead, he beheld a grey pegasus. Whom promptly tripped over his umbrella stand and sprawled on the floor. "Oh, whoops... Sorry about that." - she sounded off after a second of silence, sitting up. By now, Blueblood was paying very close attention at what happened at the door - and very promptly donned his disguise amulet on. "Huh. Alright, who are you, and what can I help you with?" - he offered in guarded tone. Mare stood up awkwardly, and smiled at him.
Blueblood blinked. That kind of smile? He only ever seen children sporting that kind of smile. Seeing an adult mare smiling at him like that made him vaguely uneasy. "Ah. I have a parcel for mr. Civil Act?" - she offered, reaching into her saddlebag. He relaxed. "Ah, you`re the mailmare, then. I`m Civil Act." - he proffered, standing up and trotting closer. Mare flashed another smile at him. Now, he could clearly see misaligned eyes as well. "I`m Derpy Hooves!" - she exclaimed cheerfully, - "I mean, I`m actually Ditzy Doo, but everyone calls me Derpy. Sign here, please!" Briefly scanning the paper proffered, he assured that it was indeed a receipt for a parcel, and signed it promptly.
Huh. Well, that mare was certainly not... normal. Still, for all her outward simplicity and clumsiness, she carried out her actual postal duties with passable competence. So, what`s in the parcel? He ripped the brown paper open impatiently. From Canterlot, huh. Who could have possibly sent that? Inside, amidst the abundant padding, he found a calabash bottle, corked with a carved figurine of a zebra. "...Charming, you suave bastard." - he muttered, smirking. Truth to tell, Blueblood was quite fond of his younger half-brother, despite the undying yearning for flamboyancy Charming exuded with every breath he took. As he expected, calabash was full of zebrican ogororo.
Setting the calabash aside, Blueblood sorted out the padding. As he expected, among the packing paper, he found a scroll case. Normally, he would be very interested in what his brother had to say, but right now, he had expected .... guests? Blueblood whirred around sharply, suddenly aware of the presence behind his back. Now that... That was Twilight. And Rarity. He had to admit, fashionista looked much better without the cumbersome gala dress.
"...Civil Act?" - Twilight ventured, uncomfortably, - "Did something happen?" He chuckled. "Ah, no, no. Nothing alarming, I`m glad to say. Just a parcel from my half-brother." - he offered, setting the scroll case on the table, - "I believe I`m quite ready for you, ladies." He could see Rarity scoffing silently, while Twilight`s expression remained somewhat uneasy. "Weren`t we supposed to meet...?" - lavender unicorn ventured softly. Wrinkling his nose, Blueblood pulled the medallion off, sighing softly - "It`s alright, Twilight."
"...You!?" - apparently, Rarity recognised him, now, - "What is the meaning of this? Twilight, what`s going on? Why am I meeting this.. this uncouth ruffian?!" Twilight flinched. "Well, I think there was a misunderstanding, and I hoped..." - she offered softly, shying back from her friend. "Misunderstanding? I think not! He had treated me like... like a whorse!" - Rarity was not skimping on indignant outrage today, it seemed. Blueblood snorted. If it were his show, he`d cut the wannabe to pieces right there and then... But Twilight was the one in charge today.
"Rarity, please." - offered lavender mare, looking at her friend with pleading eyes - "Let`s talk about this. I used to know Blueblood before I moved to Ponyville, and there`s more to what happened during the Gala then what you think." "More? MORE!? Was it too much to ask to be treated like a lady!?" - screeched the other mare in retort - "What did I ever do to him to embarrass me in front of whole beau monde SO!?" Blueblood heaved a sigh. OK. Time to step up. Twilight backed further away. She was well aware of what that sigh meant. She saw it in action before. That particular weary sigh, issued as a final warning right before Blueblood would verbally decimate somepony into blubbering wreck.
"O Sol omnipotens! Do you really have to ask!?" - he offered in a cold, clipped tone - "You have presented yourself to the whole court as golddigging whorse! Snubbing you was the most merciful thing I could think of." "...What?" - apparently, blunt was the way to go with this, judging by Rarity`s shocked expression. "That. What could be expected of me would be to take you back to my chambers, use you as I see fit and then have you chucked out of the castle gates in the morning. You`re not the first and not the last mare who would wheedle and beg her way into Gala in hopes of seducing somepony important." - he proffered, taking a seat on the sofa again, - "And if, heavens forefend, you`ve tried to approach one of the younger dukes, that`s exactly what would have happened. Lucky for you, I quite prefer professional whorses when it comes to.. favors."
OOkay, time to soften the blows a little. Apparently, his admissions had profound impact - it`s been a while since he saw anypony bit on their hoof with such a horrified expression. Twilight was staring at him with disappointment, as well. "So... I did what I did. Put on the airs of smarmy prick with overinflated sense of entitlement." - he offered quietly - "I do realise it was unpleasant for you, but you hardly left me any other choice." With a visible effort, Rarity got her emotions under control. "I see." - she offered in equally clipped cold tone - "I suppose it would`ve been too much to ask of noble prince to feign romance for one evening?"
Blueblood sighed. This sigh was wistful and longing, quite unlike the irritated sound he made before. "Yes, it would be." - he offered flatly - "You see, I`ve been selecting a rose to present to another mare when you approached. Feigning romance for you would have shattered any chances I had at courting the one I desire. Alas, your stubborn persistence denied me the chance to approach her at the Gala. So do forgive me if I feel less then magnanimous for your plight."
"Why didn`t you just tell me you`re in love with another?" - demanded Rarity hotly, her mood unraveling at the seams. "Because we were at the Gala. As in, the biggest public gathering of gossips, busybodies and bigots in whole of Equestria." - he offered, - "Why don`t you two take a seat? A dinner is quite scrumptious, and I do believe the conversation will go over better with something tangible to soothe the bitterness of words."
As the mares obliged, one eagerly and other begrudgingly, he continued - "Now, please do understand. I`m not a malicious pony. Brash, rude, crass and cynical on occasion, I`ll admit that freely. But never malicious. Still, expecting me to surrender the desires so close to heart for your passing convenience? That is, indeed, way too much to ask of me. You`re not my friend, nor even an acquaintance. I`ve never met you before Gala, and you`ve never known a thing about me, aside from what could be read in media. So what, pray tell, would have served as a basis for the feigned romance? It could be either lust or love from first sight. First we`ve discussed already, and second... Second happens only in fairy tales."
Twilight offered quietly - "I don`t really agree with your methods, Blueblood, but I can`t argue the intention. Still... I wish you`ve elected a less public way to deal with the situation." Suddenly, Rarity spoke up - "...He tried, Twilight. He tried. As angry as I am about that fiasco, I have to admit that he did try to scare me off in private first." She turned and fixed Blueblood with a stare - "Don`t take it for an admission of guilt, though. You, sir, are a cad. But it would be quite unbecoming of me to ignore my own regretful contributions to the whole catastrophe that followed."
Blueblood chuckled easily - "I can live with that. Now, would you two care for some ogororo? Courtesy of my half-brother Charming." It didn`t take much of cajoling to talk them into it - both mares relished to partake in exotic treats, though, as Blueblood suspected, their reasons differed quite a bit.