So what means of communication would this unicorn use? Telepathy? Image projection? I've always wondered what one of those would be like, and if they drove me insane, what did I have to lose? Despite the fact I have never seen this unicorn before in my life, I'm probably insane right now anyway. Why not go deeper? So imagine my surprised disappointment when this disheveled and disturbed looking unicorn begins speaking to me in English.
"I've been waiting an hour for this spell to work and I don't have a lot of time so I'll make this quick. I'll give you my soul right now if you tell me where I can find a friendship problem."
"What."
"I'll give you my soul right now if you tell me where I can find a friendship problem."
What realm of eldritch abominations would consider this a reason to make a Faustian bargain? Shock spell, here I come.
"Sorry to disappoint you summoner, but there are two problems with that request. First, even if I wanted to accept somebody's..."
"Somepony's," the disturbed summoner interjected.
"Even if I wanted to accept somepony's soul, I don't have the power to do that. Second, I know nothing about wherever you just summoned me to. I have no idea where to find a 'friendship problem' in a world you just summoned me to that I've never seen before!"
Species specific pronouns? That's a new one. Then I noticed that my summoner went from merely disturbed to grinning like a Cheshire Cat.
"I can't believe I wasted an entire hour waiting for this spell to work. That's another hour till sundown Twilight, that's another hour till sundown. I got it! If I can't find a friendship problem, I'll make a friendship problem!"
She teleported away in a flare of light shaded like a red lightsaber, forgetting to dismiss the summoning. On the bright side, apparently the circle doesn't have a shock spell. On the other hand, my summoner is a complete sociopath. What was this crazy unicorn trying to achieve that would make a 'friendship problem' important enough to sell your soul over?
Wait, did she say she was only using that spell for an hour? That has very, very, bad implications. Luckily, I still had my dumbphone on my person, and though there were no bars, I could at least use the calculator to get an idea of the timescale between Earth and wherever this is before the battery runs out. If one hour here is six days on Earth, or 144 hours, that would mean that for every minute I spend here, I've been missing for two point four hours, and every second here is 144 seconds on earth. In the short term, this means I've got a lot of problems.
By the time my summoning is dismissed, I'm likely to be missing for at least a week, probably much longer, which would require me to explain where I had been if I wanted to be able to get my life back and have any chance of salvaging my grades. Explaining where I had been would put me in a mental institution. Coming up with a lie in this situation would be next to impossible. Not to mention I risk being mistaken for a bomber because I left my backpack unattended.
Common kidnappers are ruled out, they would probably do their research and find out there wasn't any profit to be had in abducting me. Psychopathic stalkers or serial killers would have killed me by now. I couldn't exactly say I spontaneously went to find myself, for 3 months, in the middle of the semester now either. None of those ideas have any potential as a lie right now, and any investigation if I attempted them would lead to me being charged with something. I was going to have a lot of problems when this summoning spell got dismissed.
Given my lack of anything better to do, I decided to try doing the math on my phone for longer units of time. If I remained here for an entire day, that would mean I'd be missing for 144 days on earth. I'd have been gone for months, and may be presumed dead. If I remained here for an entire year, I'd have been gone for 52,560 days. Divide that by 365 and you get 144 years. If I remained here for a year, almost a century and a half would have elapsed on Earth. While a chance at seeing the singularity within my lifetime is awesome, not being able to see it happen would ruin the experience. Also, I'm going to need a time machine to have any chance at reclaiming my life, and even then, I won't be the same Garrett who disappeared, especially if I'm here anywhere near that long. Maybe I should see about staying here? My world is rotting and the time difference ruined my life there anyway.
I did another breathing kata in an attempt to get myself back under control. This kata requires so little footwork that it's completely possible to do it on a wide enough stair. When I finished, I was still extremely moody, so I attempted to curl up and sleep.
A voice that resembled a clarion call came from above and woke me up. I couldn't make out what it was saying, but it was accompanied by a flash of light that somehow penetrated into the room. I heard a pop that sounded like broken glass as the circle stopped glowing and the runes disappeared. Whatever made that magic dispelling flash of light obviously had power. More power than any mortal being could possibly imagine. I didn't have much time to ponder the implications of this, because the silver cord coming out of my hand broke, and the stairs beneath me were replaced with the same wood as the rest of the floor. As I was rubbing my head and trying to recover from the fall, a new pain suddenly set in that I wouldn't wish on anyone. It was happening all over me, and quickly drove me into unconsciousness.