In which a queen is not amused, all is not well that ends well, and we learn that confession is good for the soul.
Their last day in Equestria went smoothly, and her parents enjoyed themselves. Teagan hoped the pleasant day would deflect at least some of her mother’s ire. Princess Celestia herself opened the gate for them, since so many needed to return to Earth at one time. A decision Subtle Dancer fervently but silently applauded
Each traveler was presented with a heavy backpack to carry back over the bridge, even Evelyn and Elaine. When Teagan asked Celestia about them the alicorn shook her head and refused to answer, only smiling mysteriously.
Matt slung the second backpack onto his back without comment. Teagan found that ridiculously macho considering the weight of the gear he was already carrying. When the gate opened they staggered through it, the women collapsing on the floor of the O’Gara’s living room even before the gate snapped shut.
“What is in these backpacks, rocks?” Evelyn gasped from her sprawled place on the carpet. She struggled out of the pack and unbuckled it, throwing back the flap.
“What is it?” Teagan asked, struggling out of her own second pack.
“It’s full of little bags,” Evelyn answered in a puzzled voice. She pulled one out and opened it, looking inside.
“Son of a—” She started to swear, trailing off as she stared slack-jawed at the contents.
“What?” Teagan demanded.
Wordlessly Evelyn poured the pouch’s contents onto the carpet in a rainbow colored deluge of clicking stones.
“Are those gems?” Elaine asked in disbelief.
Evelyn nodded and spoke in a distant voice.
“I once had a gem dealer for a client. Somebody was stealing from her, so she hired me to find out who it was. During that case I learned how to evaluate stones as part of my cover. These are real, guys. I’d stake my license that’s a three carat ruby—and worth at least a hundred and fifty thousand dollars. By itself. And there’s a sapphire of at least five carats, call it twenty thousand. If all these packs are full of gems like this…” She shivered. “We could be looking at millions—tens of millions!”
“I guess the Princess thought we deserved a bonus.” Teagan said with a half-hysterical chuckle. “At least I can pay for college now…”
“You could buy a college, Squirt.” Matt said, carefully opening and unpacking his own gift. “Hello, what’s this?”
He lifted a small yellow bar out of the bottom of the pack, weighing it in his hands. “Feels like ten pounds or so.” He said thoughtfully. “Looks like the Princess decided to include some gold too.”
“Yes, I have one too.” Evelyn said, digging to the bottom of her pack.
“Wait a minute, this isn’t a jewel.” Teagan said, picking up what looked like a short crystal rod that had been nestled among the bags of gems. “It almost looks like a thumb drive or something.”
As she held it up to the light it began to glow and gently lifted out of her hands.
“Hello, Lady Teelo.” Celestia’s voice filled the room. “I would have written you a note but Twilight Sparkle tells me you can’t read Equestrian script, so I enchanted this crystal instead. I’m afraid its magic is quite limited, I must speak quickly. By now you’ve discovered the contents of your backpacks, a small bar of gold and as many gems as we thought you could carry.”
“Investigator Lewis tells me gems are very valuable in your world so I hope you find them useful. They’re only a small thank you, since not even a mountain of jewels could repay the debt our world owes you.”
“Matthew, if you truly wish to retire to Equestria it would be my honor to welcome you. Lady Teelo, I look forward to seeing you when you return this fall. Evelyn Lewis, my heartfelt thanks and warm wishes to all the bronies and pegasisters in your world. Lord and Lady O’Gara, good fortune to your clan, may you live long and peaceful lives.”
“The crystal is almost full, so I must go. Fare thee well, one and all. Cuimhnigh, ní gá capaillíní dearmad.” The crystal’s glow faded and it fell into Teagan’s cupped hands.
“What was that last bit?” Matt asked quietly.
“It’s Gaelic. She said ‘Remember, ponies do not forget’.” John answered gravely.
The adults stared at the fortune the Princess had given them, wondering how they were going to deal with it without the authorities arresting them or confiscating it. Teagan sat and thought about her friends, and what they might be doing now.
When the phone rang it jolted everyone out of their reverie. Teagan scrambled to answer it from sheer reflex.
“Hello?” She said, picking up the receiver.
“Teelo! Where have you been?” An excited voice asked at the other end. “You’ve missed a whole week! Did you run away again?”
“Hi, Emma. No, I just had something I had to do.” Teagan said, chuckling. “Mom and Dad knew about it. I’ll be back in school tomorrow.”
“So what was it? Come on, spill! You can tell your best friend!” Emma prodded.
“It was—family business, Emma. I can’t really talk about it. Don’t be mad, ok?” Teagan responded, secretly amused she actually wasn’t lying to her friend. The ponies were clan, and that made them family.
“You weren’t pregnant were you?” The teen asked in a whisper.
Teagan broke into a peal of laughter.
“God, no! Jeez, Emma! That’s insulting.” Teagan said, trying to stifle her giggles. “It was nothing like that! Look, we’ve got company over so I can’t talk now, ok? See you in class tomorrow.”
“You’d better not keep secrets Teagan O’Gara!” Emma said in a stern voice. “Remember, I’ve read your diary! I know where the skeletons are buried.”
“As if.” Teagan snorted. “Good night, Emma. I’m hanging up now.”
“Wait, wait, wait! Seriously, hang on! I wanted to tell you I copied all my notes and I’ll let you have them tomorrow. There’s a ton, so you’d better appreciate it.”
“You did? Oh, thank you! You’re a life saver!”
“Yeah, well, think about that if you decide to clam up Little Miss Secrets-Keeper.” Emma sniffed. “Anyway, I’m really glad you’re back. See you in the morning.”
“See you tomorrow. And thanks again.”
“You’re welcome. Or you will be if you don’t keep me in the dark. Night!”
“Bye.” Teagan hung up, unreasonably pleased at that bit of random normality.
“What was all that about?” Elaine asked.
“Just Emma. She asked me where I’d been and made a very insulting guess why I was gone. Oh, and she copied her notes so I won’t be completely lost.”
“You know,” Evelyn spoke up, “it might not be a bad idea to come up with a plausible story in case somebody asks questions, Teelo.”
“It was family business, meaning it isn’t theirs.” Teagan said calmly. “If they persist I walk away.”
“Hate to mention this, Squirt, but the person asking might be in a position not to take silence for an answer.” Matt said. “Teacher, principal, or the like. They get testy when you ignore them.”
“They let it slide last year.” John said thoughtfully.
“Yeah, but this is the second time, and around the same time of year. Might make ‘em nosy.” Matt replied.
“And it’s not like I can smack them with Crush.” Teagan said with a sigh. “Why is it when you get good at defending yourself they change the rules?”
Matt chuckled. “Because they don’t want you to defend yourself, Squirt. You know this.”
“Well, if anyone insists I’ll simply say I won’t answer and for them to be civil and stop asking.”
“With your temper?” Matt raised an eyebrow. “Good luck with that. Remember you’re allowed one phone call.”
“Ha ha.” She retorted. “Seriously, when I think about what I will say compared with what I could say I don’t think I’ll get angry. I may not even be able to keep a straight face.”
“Queens are supposed to be able to conceal their true feelings, Your Majesty.” Matt said, watching her. “This might be a good time to practice your poker face.”
“Yeah. But I’m not so sure about that, Matt. I’m the queen of trolls, remember? Trolls aren’t masters of subtlety like humans. Well, except for the Snøskred and the Alene.”
“Pretty big except.” Matt noted. “But now that we’ve got all these gems things are a little trickier. You don’t want to attract attention to yourself until we figure out how to deal with them.”
“What are we going to do?” Elaine asked in a worried voice. “We don’t have any proof these gems are ours. Not to mention the gold. And there’s so much.”
“I think I might be able to help with that.” Evelyn said. “Rosalyn owes me a favor. She’s the jeweler client I mentioned. She can help us with the gold too.”
“There’s a lot of gems, Evelyn.” Matt said doubtfully. “Looks like we could supply every jeweler on Earth for a year and still have enough left over to make Squirt one hell of a crown.”
“You’d be surprised.” Evelyn said, smiling. “I’m not saying that selling all of these at once would be easy, but we don’t need to do that. If I sold just that one ruby it would probably let me retire comfortably.”
“Yes, but how can we keep them safe?” Elaine asked. “I mean there’s what, fifty pounds of gold and two hundred pounds of gems? It’s not like it would fit into a safe deposit box!”
“Actually, when we split it five ways it’s a lot more manageable.” Evelyn pointed out. “The gold bars are nothing—they’re only six inches long, for goodness sake. One large safety deposit box could probably hold my share. But for safety’s sake I’m planning to rent several boxes in different banks, just to cover the possibility of a bank robber nailing one.”
“That would be one freaked out bank robber.” Matt chuckled. “No way could he fence that much. And even if he did, it would stand out like a lighthouse to the cops.”
“Still wouldn’t do us much good.” John pointed out. “But that’s a good idea. Are we going to have to pay income tax on this stuff?”
Evelyn fell over, laughing. The others stared at her until she recovered enough to sit up.
“Well, uh, no.” She said. “It was a gift from the ruler of a foreign country. But that does raise an interesting point. We don’t have to pay taxes on the gold or gems until we sell them, and even then it’s a capital gains tax, not income tax. But we are required to report it as a non-taxable gift, since the value exceeds a hundred thousand dollars.”
She raised an eyebrow.
“That might be a problem, folks.”
“You think?” Teagan said sarcastically. “Dear IRS, we just got fifty pounds of gold and two hundred pounds of high-quality gemstones from the ruler of a foreign country.” She snorted.
“They’re gonna want to know what country, Evelyn—and which ruler. We make up a story and they arrest us for lying. We tell them the truth and they’ll arrest us for stupid lying.”
“Not to mention the whole blood diamonds issue.” Matt put in just a little grimly. “They would be very unhappy if they thought these gems were from the Congo or some other warzone, and they’re not gonna buy: ‘We swear! A magical talking horse from another dimension gave them to us, honest!’ ”
They discussed the matter until dark but nobody had any ideas. Evelyn said she knew a lawyer and would discuss the situation with him without mentioning specifics. They made plans to meet again the next Sunday for dinner so they could compare notes.
Evelyn and Matt took their leave, taking their backpacks with them. Teagan and her parents stuffed their backpacks into the back of her parent’s walk-in closet, and buried them under a mess of camp gear and winter coats.
It wasn’t much, considering the value of the packs, but then again the Purloined Letter gambit does work when nobody has reason to go looking…
Since their bodies were still on Equestria time they went to bed well before ten that night.
ooOoo
The alarm woke Teagan the next morning, leaving her groggy and grumpy from the time lag between Earth and Equestria. She slapped the alarm irritably to shut it up and took a shower, thinking about the day and the questions she would probably face.
“Screw it.” She finally said, drying off. “Not their business and they can darn well keep their noses out of it. I’ll just be—diplomatic.” She chuckled as she remembered Matt’s definition of diplomacy.
Diplomacy is the art of saying Nice Doggy till you can find a rock, Squirt.
She dressed carefully, deliberately choosing jeans and a gray sweat shirt to avoid attention. She devoured her breakfast, and had seconds, much to her mother’s surprise. Then Teelo bolted out the door and jogged the entire eight blocks to school, full of restless energy. She got to homeroom twenty minutes early.
Emma came in ten minutes later and dumped a thick stapled stack of papers on Teelo’s desk.
“That’s my notes.” Emma said, settling into the desk behind Teagan. “Now spill. Where have you been?”
“I told you, it was family business. It’s not something I can discuss, Emma. You know I’d tell you if I could.” Teagan said, turning to watch her friend. “You have my word it was nothing illegal, immoral, or fattening.”
Emma looked Teagan up and down. “You do look thinner. And very buff. I mean I know you’re seriously into those self-defense classes but you didn’t look so hard before Christmas. Your face is a little sunburned too. How did you get sunburned? In Kansas? In January?”
Emma’s eyes narrowed. “You weren’t in Kansas, were you?”
Teagan couldn’t help it, she broke into helpless laughter. Oh God! I can’t tell her the truth but this is so funny!
Emma frowned. “Come on Teelo! It’s not funny!”
“Ok, sorry. The Wizard of Oz just popped in my head.” She said. “You know—the line We’re not in Kansas anymore?”
Emma rolled her eyes. “That joke wasn’t funny the first time I heard it, Teelo. Now where were you?”
“Taking care of some private family business, Emma. It’s not something my parents want me to talk about, ok? Trust me, it wasn’t a big deal.” Unless you consider an eldritch abomination kidnapping an immortal sun goddess a big deal…
“Hmm. You’re lying.” Emma said, putting her chin on her hands. “Adults don’t trust us to settle ‘family business’, Teelo. Better come up with a better story.”
“It’s not a story, Emma. I really was dealing with family business. My parents know and they don’t want me to talk about it. So I can’t. I would if I could.”
Just then a bunch of students came in which forced them to stop talking. Emma leaned forward and whispered in Teagan’s ear.
“We’re not done, Teelo. I will find out.” Emma got up and moved to her normal seat.
I seriously doubt it, Teagan thought as the room gradually filled up.
“Oh hi, Teagan!” Her homeroom teacher said in surprise as she entered. “Welcome back. The principal asked me to have you report to the guidance counselor’s office when you came back. You’re excused from home room and first period.”
Teagan nodded and gathered her books, thinking furiously. Outwardly calm she made her way to the guidance counselor’s office, which was actually a cluster of offices next door to the administration offices.
“Hi, I’m Teagan O’Gara.” Teagan said to the receptionist. “My homeroom teacher said I was supposed to come here?”
“Oh yes, Miss Bainbridge wanted to have a little chat.” The receptionist said with a friendly smile. “If you’ll just have a seat she’ll be right with you.”
“Thank you.” Teagan said and sat down. It felt odd to sit in a chair with a back, she was so used to having Crush slung across her shoulder she kept expecting the club to get tangled up. Looking around she discovered she was the only student here. In fact, the receptionist was the only other person visible. A hallway lead to other offices, but their doors were closed.
After about ten minutes a short-haired brunette woman came into the reception area. Spotting Teagan she came over and extended a hand.
“Teagan? Hi, I’m Miss Bainbridge.” Teagan rose smoothly and took the proffered hand, shaking it once and letting go.
“What can I do for you, Miss Bainbridge?” Teagan asked with a gentle smile, her stance relaxed and unthreatening. Matt had had her practice this stance for hours on end. It said I’m harmless, and not challenging you in any way. Done correctly it disarmed most people without their realizing what was going on.
“Why don’t we go back to my office? You can leave your books here if you like.” The woman said with a smile. She turned and walked back toward her office, obviously expecting Teagan to follow.
When Teagan did Miss Bainbridge closed the door and gestured for Teagan to have a seat. The woman went to sit behind her desk.
Teagan took in the room in with a single glance, and Matt’s training kicked in automatically. She found herself ticking off an astoundingly long list of psychological tricks.
Let’s see now. Blue walls to help calm me down. A comfortable chair to limit my movement and give me a subconscious feeling of being controlled. Her desk and chair are just a couple of inches taller, to hint she’s dominant here. No staplers or phones on the desk between us, depriving me of any potential weapons and making me feel unarmed. There’s just a single folder on her desk for me to focus on, to remind me of my permanent record and the fact I’m in trouble.
She kept me waiting for just long enough to get a little nervous, but not long enough to annoy me. She’s using every trick in the book.
Teagan felt herself relaxing, reminded of what Matt had once told her.
Squirt, interrogation is a mind game. It’s not about breaking fingers and screaming threats. It’s about a hundred little things. Threats are best left unsaid. Any reminders are tiny subtle things that prey on the subject’s mind. You let them sweat themselves, because they know what they’re afraid of even if you don’t. But here’s the thing. A really effective interrogator doesn’t overplay their hand. It’s all about minimalism—a single trick here, another there, never too much at one time. The fewer tricks the interrogator plays the more cautious you should be.
When you see trick on top of trick on top of trick it indicates an amateur. It means they expect the tricks to do their work for them. Those are the people you can turn the tables on. Never get cocky, never overplay your own hand, but the amateur who thinks they have the upper hand is easier to manipulate—unless they know that and are doing it deliberately. That’s called obfuscating stupidity, and it can catch the most wary.
Miss Bainbridge was overplaying her hand. And Teagan planned to take merciless advantage of that fact. Because she doubted the school counselor had had the benefit of being trained by a Green Beret with a nasty suspicious mind.
All this flashed through her mind in seconds. It was time to take advantage of all the lessons Matt had been painfully pounding into her head over the last year. This wasn’t about physical violence. It was about war carried on by other means.
It was time for diplomacy.
The woman across from her picked up Teagan’s folder and scanned the contents, as though reading it. Another trick, Teagan thought, she’s already read it unless she’s incompetent. Which would be stupid for me to assume.
“It says here you were absent from school for most of January last year, Teagan. Something about running away from home? This year you were absent all of last week. May I ask why?”
Non-confrontational question, Teagan noted. Very by the book.
“I had family business to deal with, Miss Bainbridge. It took longer than I thought it would. A friend gave me her notes to cover the time I missed, and I’ll catch up by the end of this week. It’s largely review anyway. It always is after a holiday.” Teagan said in a mild voice, staring innocently at Miss Bainbridge.
“Well, it’s not your schoolwork I’m concerned about, Teagan.” She said, leaning forward with a concerned look.
And this is Being Concerned, Teagan thought cynically. Trying to convince me she’s on my side, that she’s only trying to do what’s best for me.
“Oh?” Teagan asked, feigning confusion. “Then why am I here, Miss Bainbridge?”
“I just want to make sure you aren’t having any troubles at home, Teagan. When I see a girl like you running away from home, it’s usually because she’s having problems there. I’m here to make sure you have someone to talk to.”
“I only ran away once, Miss Bainbridge.” Teagan said mildly. “I discovered very quickly home was better. This year it was a family emergency. The timing was just unfortunate coincidence.”
“What kind of emergency, dear?” Miss Bainbridge asked kindly.
“That is a private matter.” Teagan said, carefully keeping any edge out of her voice. “It doesn’t concern anyone outside the family.”
“It kept you out of school for a whole week.” The woman noted. “That makes it a school matter.”
“I think you’ll find that isn’t actually the case, Miss Bainbridge.” Teagan demurred. Careful, watch your temper!
The woman sat back, studying Teagan.
“Dear, I’m only trying to help you. It’s my job to make sure nothing interferes with your education.”
“I appreciate your position, Miss Bainbridge. However, please appreciate mine.” Teagan said with a gentle expression and a mild voice. “The issue is resolved, and unlikely to happen again. Last year I made up three weeks without impacting my grades, so I certainly won’t suffer from missing one week that’s largely review. Now, if you’ll excuse me I should be getting back to class and stop taking up time you could be using to help someone that actually needs it. My apologies for any trouble I’ve caused you.”
“You’re being very polite, Teagan.” Miss Bainbridge said, tapping the folder. “But I really must insist. You’ve been excused from first period so we have an hour to talk.”
The girl sat quietly, her mind spinning. There was no way she was going to discuss her ‘family emergency’, but perhaps she could throw the guidance counselor a bone to distract her.
“Miss Bainbridge, I’m very sorry to be difficult, and I certainly don’t want to cause any problems, but I will not discuss family matters with you. With all due respect, they are my business, not yours. However, it occurs to me that you might be able to help me with something else.”
“And what might that be, Teagan?” The woman asked, perfectly happy to keep Teagan talking.
“I’ve discovered my class schedule needs changing.” Teagan said quietly. “It’s wasteful, and I need to drop some useless classes for ones I will need.”
“Really? What classes do you want to drop?” The woman asked with sudden interest.
“Strength and Fitness Concepts, French I and Drama I.” Teagan replied. “To be replaced with Sociology, Economics, and Psychology.”
The counselor blinked, clearly surprised. “Teagan, those are senior year courses. Besides, dropping physical education as a sophomore isn’t a good idea. It could affect your health. Everyone needs more exercise than our modern world allows.”
Teagan started to chuckle.
“Forgive me, Miss Bainbridge. You probably aren’t aware that I already spend ten hours a week learning Krav Maga. I’m currently a practitioner level II, and I’m actively pursuing my level III certification. I can assure you I get a lot of exercise. I typically spend an hour a day with my instructor learning new attacks and defenses, followed by an hour of active sparring. Hopefully I will have my P3 in about nine months, and then I’ll be training for my P4.”
“I see.” The counselor said, clearly taken aback. She studied Teagan more carefully. “I’m not familiar with Krav Maga. Is that some kind of judo?”
Teagan shook her head.
“No. Krav Maga is from Israel, not Japan. It’s a lot more—aggressive—than judo. It’s more like karate or kung fu, but not as pretty.”
“I’m not sure what you mean by pretty, Teagan.” Miss Bainbridge said, tilting her head. “I never thought karate was very pretty. It seems utterly brutal to me.”
Teagan chose her words carefully; keenly aware the counselor probably wouldn’t take a frank explanation very well.
“Karate is very stylized, very graceful.” Teagan said slowly. “It’s ancient and has a lot of traditions associated with it. It’s becoming a sport instead of unarmed combat. Krav Maga is more like street fighting. The only rule is ‘don’t die’.”
“So it’s self-defense training?” The counselor asked with a furrowed brow. Teagan nodded.
“That’s why I’m learning it. But a lot of police and military use Krav Maga for unarmed combat. My instructor is a retired Green Beret. He actually used it on missions. He’s an E3.”
“E3?”
“Expert level III.” Teagan said. “That puts him about 11 levels above me. So as you can see I really don’t need a gym class. I can use that slot much more productively.”
“Hmm. What made you start taking self-defense courses?” The woman asked, smiling.
She’s fishing, Teagan thought.
“It’s a dangerous world, Miss Bainbridge.” She replied in a mild voice. “A girl can’t be too careful.”
“Did you start the self-defense classes after you came back home?” The woman asked innocently.
“Actually, yes.” Teagan admitted with a smile. “I met an unpleasant person and thought how nice it would be to know how to defend myself if I met another one.”
“Did he hurt you?” Miss Bainbridge asked. Her emphasis made her meaning a little too clear for Teagan’s comfort.
Teagan decided enough was enough.
“Not as badly as I hurt him, Miss Bainbridge.” She answered with a level stare, letting just a hint of anger into her tone. “But, happily, that individual won’t be a problem for anyone else.”
“What do you mean?” The counselor asked, her face turning serious. “Exactly how badly did you hurt him, Teagan?”
“I didn’t kill him, if that’s what you’re worried about.” Teagan said, letting her tone turn gentle again. “Let’s just say he’s going to be in prison for a very, very long time. And you are about to cross a line you should not cross, Miss Bainbridge. What happened a year ago has nothing to do with you or this school. Nor does it have anything to do with last week. Now let it drop. Please.”
“Tell me, Teagan. When was the last time you had a nightmare?” The counselor asked, switching gears.
“You know, I don’t actually remember?” Teagan answered truthfully. “Let me think. Sometime before Christmas I guess. Why?”
“Do you have the same nightmare each time? Can you remember it?” The counselor pressed.
Teagan looked around curiously.
“I don’t see a couch, Miss Bainbridge.”
“What?” The counselor asked blankly.
“Well, if you’re going to try and psychoanalyze me the least you could do is offer me a place to lie down.” Teagan said with a smile. “Do you actually have a license to practice psychiatry?”
“No. And that’s not what I’m trying to do, Teagan.” The woman’s smile looked just a little frayed.
“Why don’t we concentrate on changing my class schedule then? Because, and again this is with all due respect, you are trespassing into matters that do not concern you. Please stop doing that.”
“If you don’t cooperate, Teagan, I will have to recommend you be suspended from school. Further, I will have to report to the police that I believe you’ve been abused. I don’t want to do that. But if you don’t tell me where you were last week, young lady, I will. Have I made myself perfectly clear?” The woman wasn’t smiling now.
Teagan stared at her, shocked the woman was going for the nuclear option.
“Tell me right now, young lady or we’re going straight to the principal’s office. Your choice.” The counselor said grimly.
Teagan considered several options, and rejected most of them as unworkable, counterproductive, or distasteful.
Taking a deep breath and a firm grip on her temper, she let her face settle into a mild expression, and her voice, when she spoke, was equally mild.
“I don’t recall threatening you, Miss Bainbridge.”
The woman’s eyes narrowed.
“What are you talking about?” She demanded.
“In fact I don’t recall saying anything rude to you at all. Did I?” Teagan asked gently. “In fact, didn’t you compliment me for being very polite?”
“What are you playing at, Miss O’Gara?” The woman asked sternly.
“Please answer my question, Miss Bainbridge. Have I threatened you or been rude?
“No. But you are trying my patience, young lady.” The woman said, glaring. “Where were you last week?”
“That is not information you’re allowed to have, Miss Bainbridge. I’ve asked you to stop prying into my business several times, quite politely. Now you’ve threatened me, but I’m still willing to settle this without involving lawyers.”
“Lawyers?” The woman laughed. “I’m within my legal rights, young lady. The law is on my side. Don’t be stupid. You wouldn’t even be able to hire a lawyer, and even if you could they wouldn’t take the case because they know they’d lose.”
“Anyone can sue anyone for anything.” Teagan said calmly. “If you carry out your threat I will sue the school, as well as you personally, for invasion of privacy, Miss Bainbridge. Making a private matter public, and presenting myself and my parents in false light is definitely actionable, and lawyers are notoriously aggressive. It would be extremely expensive and no doubt the school would take a dim view of your actions.”
Teagan blessed Evelyn Lewis for bringing up the subject last night, and providing the legal mumbo-jumbo and explaining what it actually meant.
“Are you threatening me, young lady?” The guidance counselor asked incredulously.
“Yes.” Teagan said calmly. “However, as I said I’d much rather settle this amicably. I am not bluffing, Miss Bainbridge. You have threatened me. I do not allow threats against me to continue. Therefore one of us is going to end the threat. If you force me to end it you’ll be financially and professionally ruined by the time I’m done. I’m asking you, in the name of harmony, to end the threat yourself.”
She watched the woman, using the same stare she’d used on the detective a year ago. Not threatening, not pleading, just waiting.
Finally the woman broke eye contact.
“Have it your way, Miss O’Gara.” She said with bad grace. “But the next time you miss school you’d better be on death’s door, you understand me? Or you will be suspended. Do you understand?”
“What about the changes to my class schedule?” Teagan asked, unperturbed.
“Don’t push your luck, kid.” The woman snarled. “No, you know what? Fine. You want senior classes? You got them! When you flunk don’t come sniveling to me. Economics, Sociology, and Psychology, right?”
Teagan nodded.
“Now get back to class, young lady!”
“Thank you, Miss Bainbridge.” Teagan said mildly, standing. “And I’m not being snarky. Thank you for ending your threat. I am grateful.”
“Get out of here!” The woman said, glaring.
Once Teagan had gone Miss Bainbridge buried her head in her hands for several minutes, and shook like a leaf. Once she felt calm enough she slowly filled out the schedule change and signed the approval.
“This isn’t over, little girl.” She whispered, her hand trembling slightly as she put the sheet into the Out basket.
ooOoo
Teagan still had about twenty minutes before her second period class. She spent it hiding in a stall of the girl’s bathroom, breathing deeply and trying not to throw up.
Damn it, I’m the freaking queen of the freaking trolls! She snarled to herself, shivering from the after effects of the adrenaline rush. I didn’t fall to pieces like this after fighting Discord! She’s just a school counselor! I’m tougher than this! I’ve fought gods! I’m possessed by a demon! This was nothing. She backed off when I called her bluff. What if Fjell could see his queen now, huh? Some hero you are, Teagan!
The sound of the first period ending bell forced her to start moving. By the time she fumbled open her locker she’d managed to calm down enough not to show the after effects of her confrontation with Miss Bainbridge, even though her stomach was still queasy.
ooOoo
When the final bell rang Teagan was relieved. She’d managed to get through her classes without incident and as she put her books away she was looking forward to tonight’s spar with Matt. She needed the comforting focus of the dojo, still unsettled from her encounter this morning. She also wanted to talk to Matt about the Snøskred and Miss Bainbridge. She snorted a short laugh when she pictured the look on the school counselor’s face if she ever met the troll.
“Hi.” Emma said as Teagan closed her locker, appearing from behind the door like a jack in the box. Teagan jerked in surprise, instinctively moving backward.
“Wow, jumpy much?” Emma asked, staring at Teagan’s half crouch and raised arms.
“Sorry.” Teagan responded as she straightened up. “You startled me. It’s been a long day, Emma.”
“What did Bainbridge want?” Emma asked, falling in beside Teagan as they made their way toward the exit.
“Same as you. Wanted to know where I was.” Teagan said. “I wish everybody would just leave it alone.”
“Did you tell her?” Emma asked.
“No. I told her what I told you. It was a private family matter. Just trust me about this, ok? Don’t pry.”
“Jeez, Teagan!” Emma grumbled. “The more you hide it the worse I think it is!”
Teagan glared at her friend, who put up her hands.
“Ok, ok! But you owe me. Big time.” Emma warned her. “As a down payment how about hanging with me tonight? I haven’t seen you since before Christmas.”
“You know I’ve got Krav Maga. How about we meet at the library afterward?”
“I’m thinking not.” Emma grinned impishly. “How about I come with you?”
“All right, who are you and what have you done with Emma?” Teagan asked. “You always duck out of my invitations to come to the dojo. Why now?”
“Because I’m worried you’re doing something dangerous.” Emma said, sobering. “I want to see how good you’ve gotten at protecting yourself, Teelo. Then maybe I won’t worry so much.”
“Oh, jeez Emma, you look like a puppy when you do that!” Teagan complained. “Fine, come with me. I’ll introduce you to Matt. We’ll put on a show for you.” She grinned, picturing Emma’s face watching her and Matt in a full contact spar. The way she was feeling right now she wanted a full on spar, bruises be damned. Maybe a heavy workout with Crush too.
She pulled out her cell phone and dialed her mother.
“Hey Mom, it’s me. I finally convinced Emma to come to the dojo with me. You mind if she has supper with us?”
“No, that’s fine. How was school today?” Her mother asked.
Teagan rolled her eyes. “Tell you about it tonight after Emma and I get back from the dojo. Maybe invite Evelyn over for some cards or something.”
“Oh?” Her mother’s voice sharpened. “Did something happen?”
“Kind of. Listen, Emma and I will be there in less than ten minutes. What are we having?”
“Meatloaf.” Her mother replied. “With that onion gravy you like so much.”
Teagan’s stomach suddenly growled, and she felt her mouth water.
“Emma, it’s meatloaf. With Mom’s special onion gravy.” She grinned at her friend.
“Yum!” Emma grinned. “My mom still wants the recepie for that gravy!”
“Ah. Emma’s there with you.” Her mother said in sudden elightenment.
“Yep. Listen, is there enough for seconds? I’m starved.” Teagan asked.
“If you don’t want leftovers tomorrow.” Her mother said in amusement. “See you in a few minutes.”
“Bye, Mom.” Teagan put the phone in her purse.
ooOoo
“Matthew Sanders, I’d like you to meet Emma Halstead, my best friend. She wanted to come watch us spar.” Teagan said. They were standing in the entrance to the small dojo Matt owned. It wasn’t fancy, but it was kept neat and tidy.
“Maybe she’d like to take some classes too?” Matt smiled at the brown haired girl.
“Um, not really. I just wanted to see Teelo in action.” Emma said quickly. Matt chuckled.
“Teelo takes her training pretty seriously, Emma. We usually do full contact sparring, so it’s gonna be kind of scary to watch. You ok with that?”
“Sure. As long as all I have to do is watch.” Emma said quickly. “I’m no fighter!”
“Matt, I need to work off some aggravation. Can we do a full on combat spar, then maybe some club work? Projectile parries? The really hard stuff?” Teagan asked.
“What’s up, Squirt?” Matt asked, eyes narrowing.
“Hard day. How about it?”
“If your friend promises not to run screaming when it gets exciting.” Matt replied, eyeing Emma.
“I’ll be ok.” Emma said. “You make it sound like you’re going to kill each other or something.”
“That’s what it’s going to look like.” Matt warned her. “Krav Maga’s not a sport, Emma. It’s not about a way to stay in shape. It’s about keeping nasty people from hurting you. The best way to do that is hurt them bad enough they can’t chase you when you get a chance to run away.”
“I’ve got to go change. Matt, why don’t you show her the dojo? And try not to scare her with your stories.” Teagan said sternly as she headed for the locker room, Crush slung across her back.
“Why does Teelo have that big iron club, anyway? And why is she so protective about it? She won’t let anyone near the thing.” Emma asked as she followed Matt through the door. She blinked as they came into a large room with padded mats on the floor. The back wall was covered with what looked like weapons and strange oversized knee pads and helmets.
“She picked that up last year.” Matt said. “It’s a souvenir from her adventures. She’s been learning to use it properly ever since.”
“She doesn’t like to talk about last year.” Emma said. “Any idea why?”
“Not my tale to tell, Emma. Let’s just say when you run away from home some of the people you meet aren’t very nice. You want to know anything else you’ll have to ask the Squirt.”
Emma giggled. “I can’t believe she lets you call her that! She’d slap me silly if I tried to.”
“She’s hit me a couple of times over it.” Matt confided, chuckling. “Of course if you hit me I tend to hit back.” He grinned. Emma swallowed, suddenly aware how big he was, and that his grin looked a little bit crazy…
“But in Krav Maga you learn to take hits as well as dish them out.” He continued. “Here you go, my lady! Thy throne, from whence to gaze upon the gladiatorial games laid on for thy enjoyment.” He waggled his eyebrows and smiled the most charming smile Emma had ever had directed her way.
She blushed and sat down. Matt winked at her and went to the back wall, starting to put on protective gear. When he was finished he almost looked like an armored knight, if knights wore black padded leather instead of steel.
Teagan came into the room dressed in shorts and a tee-shirt with her club slung casually across her back. She went to the back wall and slipped off the club, and started picking her own protective gear, donning it with easy, habitual movements. Emma blinked, suddenly realizing both Teagan and Matt were wearing a very embarrassing piece of protection. Neither one of them seemed to pay any attention to it. Emma began to wonder just what they were going to do…
“Ok, Squirt, you ready? Half speed P1 moves first, then P2, then a few of the basic P3’s.”
“Then full speed?” Teagan asked, shifting to an odd stance.
“You’re sure you want me to wipe the floor with you in front of your friend?” He asked with a laugh.
“I’ve got a trick or two I’ve been thinking about. We’ll see who the mop is and who the floor is, Mr. Braggy-Pants.” Teagan retorted.
“Oh ho, feeling cocky are we? Ok, Squirt, by the numbers.” He moved toward her and Emma gasped as he suddenly lunged, a knife having appeared in his hand. He slashed downward and Emma was amazed to see Teagan reach up with her left hand and block the blow by grabbing his wrist while simultaneously slamming the heel of her right hand against his face guard. His left hand came around in a roundhouse punch Emma was sure would take Teagan’s head off. Teagan sank under the punch by flexing her knees. It passed harmlessly overhead and actually hit Matt’s knife arm, knocking the blade out of his hand. Teagan kicked him solidly in the shin, then turned sideways and moved backward in a complicated move that Emma’s eyes couldn’t follow.
That was half speed? She thought incredulously as she watched the two of them circle. The fight continued with Matt occasionally giving Teagan an order, which seemed to change the kind of blows they traded.
After five minutes they were both sweating lightly.
“All right, that’s a good warm up.” He said. “Ready to bring it, little girl?”
“If you think you can handle me, old man!” She said with laughter in her voice.
ooOoo
Crush, wake up, Teagan thought. The eyes in her head opened.
Can you do anything for me? She silently asked the eyes.
What do you mean? Crush asked in reply.
Can you help me fight with just my body? Lend me strength or speed?
I have never tried doing that since I became a weapon. If I were truly possessing you I could use my magic to aid you, but I am not.
Silly demon, I’m not asking you to make me your puppet. I’m asking if you can be a true symbiont. Make my muscles stronger, my reflexes sharper. There’s going to be times I’m not carrying you I might have to fight. Or can you only help if you’re actually in my hand?
Distance is irrelevant. Crush replied, obviously thinking about it. We are bound magically; we are one creature with two minds. No matter where we are we are always together no matter how far away the club is from you.
Now would be a good time. Matt’s really fast and I want to impress Emma so she won’t pry about where I was last week. Yikes!
Teagan barely blocked a kick that would have put her on her back, and Matt took merciless advantage, launching a combination attack. Distracted, she responded instinctively, diving to the side to get some distance, and rolling to her feet even as he started to close again.
“Head in the game, Squirt!” He said. “What’s your friend going to think if you put up such a pitiful fight? I trained you better than this! Now focus. Knock me down and stomp on me like I showed you!”
That’s when a peculiar sensation washed over Teagan. Time seemed to slow down. The shifting of Matt’s body as he launched another kick seemed to take a full minute. A calmness settled over her, giving her plenty of time to choose the correct response. She twisted out of line with the kick and let his leg slide past her side. Bending her knees she fell slightly forward as one arm grabbed his leg and trapped it against her stomach. Her weight came down on her left foot and she brought her right knee up sharply and slammed it into his groin even as her free hand formed a fist and punched him in the chin, the blow absorbed by his helmet.
As a follow through, she released pressure on his trapped leg and let his weight pull him away from her. When his leg finally slid free she grabbed the underside of his ankle and lifted as hard as she could.
Matt sprawled backward, slamming into the floor. He rolled desperately to the side as she pivoted on her right foot and brought her left foot down where his kneecap would have been. She danced back.
What was that? She asked Crush silently.
My attempt to help. Crush said. Was that what you had in mind?
It was pretty good. Did you boost my reflexes?
No. Such things are dangerous if done badly. The middle of a spar is not the time experiment.
“Wow! Impressive, Squirt!” He said. “That was way beyond a P2! Time-out!”
She straightened, relaxing.
“Where’d you pick up that little combo?” Matt said. “I never taught it to you. You been practicing or was it improvisation?”
“I had a little help from Crush.” She said, lowering her voice so Emma couldn’t hear. “Tell you later.”
“Gotcha.” He replied sotto voce. Raising his voice he continued.
“Either way, good job, Teelo. You want to try some parries now? I think you’ve earned it.”
“I’d love to!” She said, grinning.
“Hey, Emma, I need an assistant for this. You game?” Matt called, walking toward her.
“Are you nuts?” Emma retorted. “I wouldn’t last two seconds against either one of you!”
“Nah, it’s nothing like that. I just need you to throw things at her.”
“Say what?” Emma said blankly. Matt grinned at her.
“Teelo wants to try using her club to parry thrown objects. You know, knives, rocks, bottles, that kind of thing. She’s pretty good against an opponent in front, so I want to increase the challenge and have a second thrower.”
“You’re going to throw rocks at her? And knives?” Emma asked in disbelief.
Teagan burst out laughing.
“No, you idiot! We use rubber balls! That’s all. Well, rubber knives too, but they won’t hurt me. Honest.”
“They do sting if you throw them hard enough.” Matt said, grinning at Teagan. “First time she insisted on trying this she ended up with dozens of red spots all over her.”
“Yeah, I remember.” Teagan grimaced. “But you haven’t managed to hit me in three months, remember?”
“Three months?” Emma asked. “You’ve been doing this for three months?”
“Seven.” Matt corrected her. “She was pretty horrible at it for the first two.”
“Hey, last week I managed to smack two back at you.” Teagan chuckled. “I’m not so horrible anymore.”
“What would I have to do?” Emma asked cautiously.
“Teagan stands in that circle.” Matt explained, pointing to a circle about three feet in diameter. “You and I will each have a bucket with a dozen balls in it. We stand about twenty feet away from her. You stand to one side so we don’t hit each other if we miss her. The rules of the game are simple. She can either dodge the balls or knock them away with her club, but she has to stay inside the circle. If her foot goes over the line then she loses.”
“If we manage to hit her, she loses. What do you think, Teelo? Since there’s two of us how about three hits instead of just one?”
“That’s fine.” Teagan said. “Emma couldn’t hit the side of a barn anyway. And she throws like a girl.”
“Hey!” Emma protested.
“I’ve seen you throw, Emma.” Teagan said rolling her eyes.
“Teelo, you know what? Just for that I’m gonna make it sting when I hit you.” Emma retorted. “I’m in.”
“I think you made her mad, Squirt.” Matt chuckled. “Tell you what, Emma. To make up for the Squirt’s over confidence you only have to hit her once to win. I still have to hit her three times. If that hasn’t happened by the time we run out of balls, Teelo wins.”
ooOoo
“That was the most amazing thing I’ve ever seen!” Emma said for the third time as she and Teagan walked home from the dojo. “It was like you had eyes in the back of your head! I didn’t know you were that graceful. That club of yours must be hollow. It moved so fast sometimes I couldn’t even see it! It was like you were dancing or something.”
Teagan snickered. Crush was many things, but hollow certainly wasn’t one of them.
“I nearly hit you a couple of times, though.” Emma pointed out. “So you can take back that comment about the broadside of a barn, thank you very much.”
“Yeah, you didn’t do too badly. Amazing what a touch of anger can do to the most timid scaredy-cat, isn’t it?”
“What? You tricked me?” Emma squawked in outrage.
Teagan nodded happily.
“Sure did. Wasn’t as scary as you thought, was it?”
“Well, not the rubber ball part.” Emma said. “But when you and Matt were fighting I thought somebody was going to end up in the hospital! I still can’t believe you kicked him in the nuts! Is that what Krav Maga’s really all about? Fighting dirty?”
“Pretty much.” Teagan agreed. “But we were sparring, not fighting. If we’d been fighting I’d be dead. Matt’s an E3, that’s the equivalent of a black belt. I’m a P2, which is like a yellow belt. He was holding back.”
“You’re kidding! Were you holding back?”
Teagan shook her head. “Not really. I mean I wasn’t aiming for his eyes or throat, but he tells me he wants me to go all out. Once I reach P4 I’ll have to be more careful. Right now he can still handle me when I don’t hold back.”
“You managed to knock him down at the end.” Emma said. Teagan chuckled.
“Yeah, first time I ever managed that. I mean, I’ve landed hits and kicks before, but never actually knocked him down. I better savor it, because its gonna be a long time before I manage it again.”
“Teagan, he said you were really serious about training when I was talking to him.” Emma said carefully. “What happened last year? What made you so scary?”
“You think I’m scary?” Teagan asked, feeling her stomach contract with dread, wondering if she was going to lose a friend.
“Well, yeah. After what I saw tonight I’d say you’re the second scariest person I ever met.”
“Only the second?” Teagan tried for levity even with the knot in her belly.
“Yeah. Matt’s scarier than you are.” Emma said.
“So are you scared of me now?” Teagan couldn’t hide the plaintive note in her voice.
Emma snickered. “You may be scary but you’re still my best friend. Jeez, give me some credit, Teelo. I know you’d never hurt me.”
Teagan breathed a sigh of relief, feeling the knot in her belly loosen.
“I just want to understand. Something bad happened last year, didn’t it?” Emma asked, staring straight ahead.
Teagan hesitated.
“Yeah.” She said finally. “Something really, really bad. There’s no way I’m telling you about it. No need for you to have nightmares too.”
“Oh.” Emma said after a second.
They walked in silence for a while. Then Emma broke the silence.
“Tell me whatever you can, Teelo. You shouldn’t have to keep this kind of a secret all alone.”
“Emma, if I tell you anything, you have to swear not to tell another living soul. Not even your parents. If the wrong people found out I’d have to leave and never come back. Maybe my parents too.”
Emma stopped walking and turned to look at her, shocked.
“Holy crap, Teagan, are you in witness protection or something?” Emma asked quietly, glancing around at the empty street.
“Promise me.” Teagan demanded in a low harsh whisper. Emma stared at her, taken aback.
“I promise. You’re my best friend, Teagan. I’ll never betray you. You know that.”
“I’m trusting you with my life, Emma. You still want to know?”
“Yes.” Emma nodded.
“I didn’t run away last year.” Teagan said, and started walking again, keeping her voice low. “That’s just a story we told everybody, to keep people from digging into what really happened. The truth is I was kidnapped.”
“Oh God!” Emma exclaimed, horrified.
“This freak show took me right out of my bed.” Teagan said, shivering as she remembered Discord’s claws pricking her throat. “He drugged me or something. When I woke up I was in another country.”
“What?” Emma asked, her eyes wide in the evening gloom.
“Yeah.” Teagan nodded grimly. “That’s what makes things so complicated. Long story short, I managed to escape when he left me alone for a couple of hours. Then I was found by some very kind people. Turns out he let me escape as part of some crazy scheme just to get at them. He was so crazy I’m not sure even he knew what he was going to do. But he hated them so much he wanted them dead. Nothing else mattered to him.”
Teagan felt her temper flare as she remembered Discord holding the struggling Fluttershy and laughing about what he planned to do to her as revenge against Celestia.
She took a deep breath and fought to stay calm. She had to walk a very fine line here. There was no way she was going to lie to Emma, but nothing said she had to correct any erroneous conclusions her friend jumped to…
“You know how they say crazy people are super strong? Well, he sure was! He hurt a lot of those nice people, Emma. The last one was a girl, not much older than me. He started boasting how he was going to torture her to death and take his time. She was so scared, Emma! I’d been cowering in the corner while the fight was going on, but the look on her face…” Teagan shuddered.
“They had a lot of medieval decorations around, you know, armor and swords and stuff. I grabbed the closest one, which happened to be this club, and broke his arm with it. Then I hit him in the face and knocked him down.”
“You don’t want to hear the rest.” Teagan muttered, looking away.
“I think you need me to.” Emma said, “Tell me.”
“He was down, Emma. He couldn’t move. I’d broken something important when I hit him. He was paralyzed.”
“I—” She stopped. Emma waited, holding her breath.
“I tried to murder him, Emma! If the cavalry hadn’t arrived at the last second and grabbed the club I would have smashed his skull in! I was already starting to swing, Emma!”
“Oh, Teelo.” Emma said, face white in the dimness. She was shaking. Wordlessly she hugged her friend. Teagan hugged her back and started to cry in great shuddering sobs. She hadn’t cried since being humiliated by Discord. Not once. And now she just couldn’t stop. Emma held her wordlessly as she bawled right there on the deserted street, her tears freezing on her face in the frigid night air.
ooOoo
When Teagan finally regained control and Emma had found her a pack of tissues to blow her nose the two started walking again. It was a miracle nobody had wandered by during her breakdown.
“They hushed it up, Emma.” Teagan finally said. “My friends are really high up in their government. They helped me get back home without anyone knowing I’d been out of the country. So now you know why you can’t say a word to anybody. I’d be in serious trouble, and so would they.”
“What happened to that psycho?” Emma asked. Teagan paused, unsure how to answer truthfully until sudden inspiration struck.
“He’s still alive.” Teagan replied. “But he’s in a permanent vegetative state.”
That’s true, Teagan thought to herself. He is still alive and he certainly isn’t conscious…
“My lips are sealed, Teelo. He got what he deserved. But that still doesn’t explain where you were last week.”
“Crazy guy had an even crazier sister.” Teagan said shortly. “She kidnapped one of my friends. I went back to make sure crazy sister didn’t hurt anybody else.”
“What happened?”
“My friend is back safe. Crazy sister won’t be hurting anybody else. Then they brought me home with nobody the wiser.”
“How are you getting in and out of the country, Teelo? Ever since 9/11 airport security’s been insane. Everybody knows that.”
“Diplomatic aircraft are never searched, Emma.” Teagan replied. Emma’s mouth became a perfect O as comprehension dawned.
That’s also true. And I never said I was actually on a diplomatic plane...
“Now do you see why I can’t tell anyone?” Teagan asked. Emma nodded.
“That is the weirdest story I’ve ever heard.” Emma said. “It sounds like the plot of a spy thriller or something! But you’ve never lied to me before. No wonder you’re so deadly serious about self-defense classes!”
“Yeah. Now do me a huge favor and forget everything I said tonight. It never happened. Promise me, Emma.”
“I promise.” Emma said. “I’ll never tell anyone, or bring it up again—because we never had this conversation.”
“You’re the best, Emma!” Teagan said, a warm glow spreading through her. “Thank you.”
“You’re very, very welcome—Squirt.” Emma responded.
She laughed at Teagan’s outraged expression.
ooOoo
Lying in bed later that night, Teagan stared up at the ceiling, thinking about everything that had happened to her in the last year. How ridiculous it all was, how utter absurd her life had become. How nothing was simple anymore.
Physically exhausted from both her workout and her crying jag she reached out and ran her hand down Crush, unsheathed in the bed next to her, like she would have a dog.
“Good night, Crush.” She murmured, turning onto her side and drifting off to sleep—sleep utterly free of nightmares.