In which we learn surprises are seldom expected.
Pinkie Pie insisted their first stop be Sugarcube Corner, where she bought the bribery cupcakes for Matt and the pegasi pulling the chariot. She also bought one for everyone waiting for Cuddles.
Including Cuddles. In fact, Cuddles got a huge cake. Teagan just closed her eyes and didn’t say a word.
The second stop was at the library, where they picked up a very surprised Spike. He was overjoyed he would be seeing Twilight soon, but asked all kinds of questions that Teagan and Pinkie couldn’t answer readily. Finally Teagan told him to just wait and see.
The last stop was Dr. Whooves workshop, where Pinkie insisted they wait in the chariot. She took her saddlebags with her and made Teagan, Spike and the guard pegasi Pinkie-swear not to peek. The guards obeyed stoically. Teagan shook her head once Pinkie went inside.
Surprisingly Pinkie was in and out in less than ten minutes.
“Was it ready?” Teagan asked as Pinkie bounced into the chariot.
“Yup. All done! Let’s go, guys!” She called to the guards, who silently wheeled the chariot around and trotted down the street, lifting smoothly into the air.
Pinkie hummed happily to herself and only giggled when Teagan prodded her on what the surprise was.
“Nope, you’ll just have to wait.” Pinkie said. “Don’t worry! It’ll be so worth it! Just trust Auntie Pinkie Pie!”
ooOoo
The reunion between Twilight and Spike made Teagan’s heart melt. She was an only child so didn’t know what it was like to have a sibling. The reunion between Twilight and Spike gave her a hint, however. The fact Spike was a dragon made absolutely no difference, watching the two of them made it absolutely clear he was Twilight’s little brother.
Matt cleared his throat as Spike settled down happily on Twilight’s back.
“All right, every one. We just had a dispatch from Canterlot. Cuddles is moving steadily and as far as they can predict it will be here around nine o’clock tomorrow morning.” Matt announced.
“We’re counting on the Elements of Harmony to turn Cuddles to stone, but if that fails we beat a hasty retreat to Cloudsdale, which should be out of Cuddles reach. I’m told it’s hovering a thousand feet above the ground, and if needs be can move higher. If it looks like Cuddles can attack Cloudsdale we retreat to Canterlot. Hopefully Cuddles will then follow us and leave Cloudsdale alone. Canterlot has some kind of magical shield that should keep Cuddles at bay while the princesses blast it. Any questions?”
“How do we know Cuddles is going to pass by this particular hill, Matt?” Twilight asked.
“We won’t know for sure until its closer.” Matt admitted. “We’ll move as needed. The pegasi can give us Cuddles’ exact course in plenty of time. What’s the maximum range of the Elements?”
“I don’t know.” Twilight said, blinking. “The furthest away we used them was around thirty feet.”
Matt frowned. “Each of Cuddle’s tentacles is three hundred feet long, Twilight. Thirty feet isn’t good enough. Any idea if you can stretch that?”
“Probably. But we’re still going to have to be closer than we’d like.” She said, biting her lip. “And it’s going to take time. We’ve never used the Elements on anything this big before.”
“How much time?” Matt asked neutrally.
“I don’t know. It took maybe 30 seconds with Discord.”
“Does the rainbow paralyze the target quickly?” Matt asked.
“I don’t think so.” She said, surprised. “It formed a tornado around Nightmare Moon and hit Discord full on. He didn’t stop moving until he turned to stone.”
“Meanwhile Cuddles eats you.” Matt said drily. “That’s not acceptable, Twilight. “Come on, we need a clever idea.”
“I’m sorry! I can’t just wave my horn and make Cuddles go away, all right?” Twilight snapped. “The last time we encountered anything gigantic that tried to eat us we ran! Cuddles is just too big!”
“Hang on, Sugarcube.” Applejack said soothingly. “We’ll think o’ somethin’. We always do.”
“Yeah, Twilight. You’re the smartest unicorn in all Equestria! You’ve outwitted some serious bad guys before!” Rainbow Dash chimed in. “Come up with a plan and the rest of us will back you, one hundred percent!”
“That’s just it, Rainbow Dash! There is no plan to deal with a monster that’s five hundred feet long! It’s impossible.” Twilight plopped down dejectedly, forcing Spike to slide down her back and sprawl on the ground.
“Hey!” He protested.
Matt broke the silence that followed.
“A wise man once said ‘nothing’s impossible if you’re crazy enough’. So if we can’t win by following the rules, it’s time to change the rules. Pinkie? Any ideas?”
“Yeah! We throw Cuddles a surprise party.” Pinkie said brightly.
“Any ideas that won’t get us eaten?” Rainbow Dash asked sarcastically.
“I’m serious, you guys! We need to throw that party.” Pinkie said stubbornly. “Of course we have to fix Cuddles first. We broke her, so it’s up to us to fix her. Then we throw her a welcome party and—”
“Pinkie! This is serious!” Twilight snapped. “No parties!”
“Wait a minute.” Teagan broke in. “Pinkie, why are you calling Cuddles her? And what do you mean we broke her?”
“That’s what Cerise said.” Pinkie said, sticking her tongue out at Twilight.”
“We are not listening to that—individual.” Rarity said firmly. “She completely lacks the slightest shred of civilized sensibilities!”
“Guys!” Pinkie said, exasperated. “You never listen! You didn’t listen to me during the parasprite invasion either! Or when I talked about the Doozy! Nobody ever listens to me! I know Cerise isn’t the nicest pony but—”
“Got that right.” Rainbow Dash snorted. “No offense Pinkie Pie but Cerise scared the wing feathers off me.”
“Cerise is a bad pony.” Fluttershy agreed, shivering.
Pinkie rolled her eyes. “I know she’s a bit—intense—but she really isn’t that bad! And she knew about Cuddles!”
Matt let out a piercing whistle that stopped the argument in its tracks.
“Time out. Pinkie, what do you mean she knew about Cuddles? She was asleep before Cuddles showed up.”
“No she wasn’t.” Pinkie said, relieved to have someone listen to her. “She’s asleep now but she told me the plan to blow up Tišina would only make things worse. It would just make her really mad.”
“So Tišina’s final act was to sic Cuddles on us?” Teagan asked Pinkie Pie. The pink pony shook her head.
“No, Teelo. Blowing up Tišina turned her into Cuddles!”
ooOoo
Princess Celestia blinked as a burst of green fire dropped a scroll at her hooves. She hadn’t expected a message from Spike, who (she believed) was still in Ponyville and wouldn’t have any reason to send a message. Curious, she opened it.
Dear Princess Celestia,
We have reason to believe that Cuddles is actually a magically transformed Tišina. This information comes from Pinkie Pie, who said she learned it from Cerise just before Matt destroyed Tišina’s body with the bombs.
Why Pinkie didn’t tell us this in the beginning I have no idea, but you know how Pinkie is. She says we have to ‘fix’ Cuddles and then throw her a party. Matt is taking her seriously.
Help!
Your faithful student, Twilight Sparkle
Celestia reread the message a second time, not quite believing what her student had written. Then she closed her eyes and stood thinking for a good fifteen minutes before composing her reply.
ooOoo
Twilight spun around as Spike convulsed, belching a burst of green fire. She grabbed the scroll before it had time to fall and opened it, scanning it eagerly.
She stiffened in shock, her ears folding back.
“What is it, Twi? What’s the Princess got ta say?” Applejack asked, seeing how depressed the purple unicorn had become.
Twilight sighed and started to read the message aloud.
“Dearest Twilight, while I understand your reservations about the information Pinkamena has revealed I do have faith in her, in you, and in Matthew. It is not impossible that Tišina was transformed into Cuddles, the amount of magic involved would be huge but that’s exactly what we observed during the magical draining incident, which covered an area two hundred miles in diameter.”
“Further, while Cerise may not be completely trustworthy she did provide us with invaluable information on Tišina’s plans and was instrumental in her defeat. I see no reason to doubt her word in this matter.”
“I do not know if Pinkamena’s intuition is correct, my faithful student, but she has proven herself in the past. My advice is to trust your heart and your friends. However, Matthew must make the final decision. He is in command.”
“Remember, my dear Twilight, in the end we can’t always know where the true path lies. But if we trust in our friends we have a much better chance of finding it. The six of you trust each other, and have faced grave odds in the past. Lady Teelo trusts Matthew, and I trust Lady Teelo. I also trust you, my faithful student. I place the fate of Equestria in your capable hooves yet again.”
“Signed, Her Highness Celestia, Princess of Equestria.”
Twilight looked at Pinkie with agonized eyes.
“Pinkie Pie, are you sure about this? Really, really sure? Can we trust Cerise? Do you really think we can fix Cuddles? And if Cuddles is Tišina, and we do manage to fix her, how do we keep her from trying to kill us if we throw her a party?”
Pinkie, uncharacteristically solemn, nodded.
“Cerise may not be the nicest pony, Twilight, but she never ever lies. She may not always be willing to make a promise, but like me she always keeps the ones she does make. She promised me she was telling the truth. We can use the Elements of Harmony to turn Cuddles back into Tišina. And it’s really, really important we give Tišina a party, otherwise I can’t give her the surprise present. And I gotta give her the surprise present.”
“Why?” Twilight asked, exasperated.
“Dunno.” Pinkie grinned. “But my twitches tell me if I don’t it will be super-duper bad for everypony.”
“What is the surprise present, Pinkie?” Matt asked.
“I can’t tell you, Silly!” Pinkie shook her head. “Cause if I did it wouldn’t be a surprise! And it’s gotta be a surprise.”
“You’re making this very difficult, Pinkie.” Matt said after a moment. “You’re asking us to risk our lives on your say-so.”
“Yup, yup!” She nodded. “But that’s what we do, Matt! We trust each other to keep everypony safe. Even if nopony ever listens to me.” She glared around at the other Bearers, who couldn’t meet her gaze.
“It’s like the Princess said in her letter. She trusts us to save everypony. We trusted Teelo and she saved Fluttershy and the rest of us. She trusted you and Evelyn, and the two of you helped save the Princess from Tišina. And now you gotta trust me, cause like Twilight said there’s no plan that can deal with Cuddles.”
Pinkie smiled at the soldier.
“And you also said nothing is impossible if you’re crazy enough! Well, this is Pinkie Pie Style, Matt! Is it crazy enough?”
“We’ll see.” Matt said. “As plans go, I have to say this is the craziest stunt I’ve ever heard of.”
He grinned, the grin of the truly deranged. Pinkie matched him, tooth for tooth.
ooOoo
Tišina paused, seeing something utterly unexpected on a hilltop to her right. It looked like a banner. Her new form’s vision wasn’t well suited for seeing small details, so she formed a new eye and extended an eyestalk over twice the length of her tentacles, until it was just a few feet from the object.
The eyeball blinked in confusion.
It was a banner. It read Welcome Home, Cuddles. Happy Anniversary Tišina!
There was a table covered with a linen tablecloth, set with several place settings, and a large cupcake on each plate. At the head of the table was an enormous cupcake, the size of most wedding cakes. Next to the enormous cake was a brightly wrapped box, topped with a red ribbon and bow.
What is this? Tišina wondered, never having seen a party before. Why did the creatures greet me? I’m here to destroy them!
“SURPRISE!”
A group of ponies jumped from behind trees and trotted forward. The eyeball turned to the newcomers, focusing on each in turn. She recognized them, but it wasn’t until she saw the pink pony that the eyeball recoiled slightly.
“Welcome to Equestria!” The pink pony wasn’t wearing that terrifying weapon—in fact none of the ponies were armed at all. The only reason Tišina didn’t charge to attack immediately was her bewilderment.
The ponies wore jewelry and had brightly colored ribbons tied in their manes, a couple even had bows on their tails. All of them were smiling warmly—as such creatures did when meeting each other.
Tišina was completely disorientated. Their behavior made absolutely no sense to her and even in this chaotic form she longed for order and logic.
“We haven’t treated you very nicely, have we?” The pink pony said, her smile disappearing. “I’m sorry about that, Cuddles. We’re gonna make it all better, I promise. Cross my heart and hope to fly, stick a cupcake in my eye.”
Tišina had no idea what the pink pony was talking about. In this form she had nothing to fear from them, she could crush them in an instant. So she didn’t feel threatened when the jewelry started to glow and the six ponies lifted into the air.
“Don’t be scared, Tišina. Everything’s going to be ok. I promise.” The pink one said.
A massive surge of magic made the six ponies disappear into a white ball of light and a rainbow exploded from the top, arching over instantly to touch the eyestalk a foot or so behind the eye.
It is a little remarked law of magic that states every single thing is a thing, whole and complete unto itself. This is the basis for the laws of contagion and sympathy. The practical application of this was that the rainbow only had to touch part of Tišina to target all of Tišina.
While the power required to actually transform Cuddles was still enormous, to direct that power required only touching some part of her.
For example, an eyestalk…
Tišina started to sneer at the feeble magic engulfing her entire form. But something changed deep within her. She felt a rushing excitement, a rightness that kept her from resisting as she felt herself shrinking and changing. It wasn’t an attack because it wasn’t harming her. Something in her rejoiced at the changes.
When the magic ended she opened her two eyes, blue slit pupils set in ebony contracting in the bright morning light. Without thinking she stretched her wings outward to their full hundred and fifty foot spread, reveling in the feel of muscles and bones stretching, relieving a tension she hadn’t been consciously aware of. With a feeling of contentment she folded her wings.
The ponies had returned her beautiful body to her. She found herself sitting on the ground in front of the table, the six ponies now panting, their hooves firmly planted on the ground.
“Why have you done this?” Tišina asked, her voice a low slithery rumble.
“We broke you, so it was up to us to fix you.” The pink pony said, watching her with a smile. “Sorry about that, we didn’t understand at first. Of course neither did you, which is why you kidnapped the Princess, I guess. But everything’s going to be fine now. We even brought you a present to make everything better.”
“What is a present?” Tišina asked, still somewhat disoriented.
“There, next to your cake. I hope you like chocolate! I didn’t have a chance to check, but nearly everybody likes chocolate cake with butter cream icing! It’s yummy!”
Showing no signs of fear the pink pony trotted over to the table and sat down at the place on Tišina’s right, and picked up the small confection on her plate. She took a big bite and chewed enthusiastically.
“Mmm! Strawberry! Hey, go ahead and try yours!” The pony urged Tišina. “Come on, every pony, time to eat up!”
The other ponies slowly took their places at the table, watching Tišina from the corners of their eyes. Each slowly ate the cupcake on their plate.
The dragon eyed the (to her) small cake dubiously. When she’d originally designed her body she’d made sure it had all the senses necessary for the new realm, including that of taste. While technically she didn’t need to eat (sustenance was supplied by that part of her that still existed beyond the veil) she could eat. Theoretically, she might even enjoy the experience.
Cautiously she licked the cake. The novel sensation that coursed through her was actually pleasurable. She lifted the cake with her delicate (for dragon) fingers and clumsily shoved the entire thing in her mouth, making exaggerated chewing motions.
The explosion of flavor left her stunned. Every corner of her mouth reported a delightful deluge of impressions, leaving her oblivious to the outside world for several seconds.
“So, how did you like it?” The pink pony asked eagerly.
“It was—quite good.” Tišina admitted. “I have never tasted anything before. I shall have to continue the practice. It was quite enjoyable. Does everything taste like that?”
Pinkie Pie shook her head.
“Nope. Cakes and pies and candy are sweet, but they all taste different. Some things taste really yucky! Rocks and nettles, well I wouldn’t try those if I were you! Rocks are just too hard to eat and nettles burn. Apples are really good though! Hey, why don’t you open your present?”
“This square thing?” Tišina asked, picking it up. In her massive hand it was like a small ring box.
“Yeah, your present is inside.” Pinkie said, smiling. “Hope you like it.”
Tišina studied the tiny box, trying to figure out how to open it without damaging the contents. Finally she hooked one claw tip through the bow on the top and lifted the lid off. Turning the box over she dumped the contents into her other paw. It revealed a glittering silver ball. As Tišina raised her paw to get a closer look the ball suddenly exploded, throwing a fine blue powder straight into her face. Surprised, she sneezed, drawing the powder into her lungs with her next reflexive breath. She wheezed, and coughed once.
“Why did it do that?” She asked the pink pony, who laid something long and silvery on the table.
“Because it’s better this way, Tišina. You wouldn’t like Equestria, it’s way too different from what you’re used to. Don’t worry, you’re just going to sleep. It won’t hurt, and you won’t dream. I’ll make sure the Princess puts you next to your brother so the two of you can stay together forever. You’ll like that, right?”
Tišina felt a tingling in her chest. With a detached sense of horror she realized she was losing control of her power, it was starting to solidify.
“You tricked me!” Tišina staggered to her feet. She was already losing feeling in her feet and tail.
“You were a big Meanie, Tišina. You tried to hurt the Princess! Nobody hurts the Princess while I’m around. Besides, you really will be happier this way. No more fighting, no more movement. Everything will be absolutely still. Isn’t that what you always wanted?”
Tišina’s thoughts were slowing. Her tail had already stiffened into immobility. Her legs were locked into position. She looked down at the pink pony who gazed up at her sadly.
“Sorry, Tišina. It would have been a lot fun being friends with you. But you just don’t play well with others.”
Tišina could feel the world slowing now. Everything was growing still. She let out one last breath. How strange, the ponies had won. She was going to spend eternity frozen inside a shell of her own power.
At least it was peaceful. Tišina closed her eyes and let the stillness take her.
Pinkie Pie watched the wave of green glossy ice close around Tišina’s head. She sighed, and turned away, head drooping.
“Pinkie, what did you do?” Twilight asked, gaping up at the green ice statue that was staring down at the table. “What was that powder?”
“Poison joke.” Pinkie said. “I had Dr. Whooves and Zecora gather as much as they could and grind it into powder. Then Dr. Whooves filled a sack with it and put enough fireworks inside to make it burst open and spray the powder. We put it in a silver ball to fool Tišina.”
“Poison joke! We’re gonna get all weird and stuff! I hated flying upside down!” Rainbow Dash backed rapidly away from the table.
“Don’t worry, everypony will be fine.” Pinkie said calmly. “Zecora’s antidote was in the cream filling of the cupcakes you just ate. No more upside down flying.”
“Why did it turn her into stone, Pinkie? And how did you know to do it?” Twilight asked.
“Cerise told me.” Pinkie said. “Discord made poison joke in case Tišina ever woke up.”
“How did she know?” Twilight asked suspiciously.
“Cause she and Discord used to be pals.” Pinkie said. “See, when Discord gave me my saddlebags he slipped Cerise in too, to mess up our chances of using the Elements of Harmony. She was supposed to be the backup plan.”
“Wait, Cerise works for Discord?” Rarity asked, aghast. “Pinkie how could you? You know how dangerous he is!”
“What do you mean Discord slipped Cerise in with your saddlebags? That doesn’t make any sense!” Twilight complained.
“Well, see, Cerise isn’t a pony, Twilight. She’s like Nightmare. She’s a demon.”
Twilight sank to her knees in shock.
“Oh sweet Celestia!” Rarity swore softly, her eyes widening.
“Ohmygoshohmygoshohmygosh! Pinkie’s possessed.” Rainbow Dash gibbered.
“What can we do ta help ya, Pinkie? We’ll do anythin’! You jes’ name it!” Applejack said with wide eyes. Fluttershy didn’t say anything, but she wasn’t freaking out either. In fact she was the calmest of the Bearers, watching the rest of them with a bemused look on her face.
“Would you guys relax?” Pinkie said, laughing. “Cerise is cool. She was gonna try and make me all evil and stuff, but I convinced her it would be more fun to come over to my side. She’s been riding around in my head ever since. She never did like Discord or Nightmare very much.”
Pinkie lowered her voice conspiratorially.
“Don’t tell her I said this, but I think she’s just plain lazy. Discord was wearing her out, and Nightmare was so serious all the time. She was happy to shack up with me just to get away from them. We’ve gotten to be bestest friends since then.”
“How come you never mentioned Cerise before, Pinkie?” Twilight demanded.
“Well, you guys never asked. Besides, Cerise sleeps almost all the time. She says she’s making up for all the sleep she’s lost over the last five thousand years.”
“This is too weird.” Rainbow Dash grumbled. “Even for Pinkie this is just too weird.”
“Um, Cerise doesn’t bother anypony.” Fluttershy spoke up. “Like Pinkie says she’s always asleep. Can’t we just, you know, leave her alone?”
“You knew about Cerise, Fluttershy?” Rarity demanded.
“Um, well, yes, yes I did. Pinkie told me when she came over for lunch one day. I was really concerned for a few days, but, well, you know how Pinkie is. She wasn’t acting any different that I could see, so I just decided not to say anything. That was a long time ago and Cerise hasn’t bothered anyone. So let’s just let her be. Live and let live, I always say.”
“You do?” Rainbow Dash asked, puzzled.
“Oh, yes! It’s my motto.” Fluttershy nodded.
“I thought your motto was ‘run and hide’?” Rainbow Dash said with a raised eyebrow.
“I may not be the bravest pony, Rainbow Dash, but I never try to make trouble for others. If Cerise wants to sleep why shouldn’t we let her?” Fluttershy said. “She’s not hurting anypony.”
The looming argument was cut short when Matt and Teagan jogged up to the ponies. Matt stared calmly at Tišina’s statue while Teagan held an unsheathed Crush, staring at Tišina’s statue uneasily.
“That’s quite a surprise you got there, Pinkie.” He said, switching his gaze to the pink pony.
“Yeah. I hated to do it, but she was too big a Meanie.” Pinkie said, sighing. “She’d try to hurt somepony or maybe try to end the world again. It’s really sad. It would have been so cool to be friends with a full grown dragon, you know? Like Rolig and Skifer?”
“Is her condition permanent?” Matt asked.
Pinkie nodded. “That’s what Cerise said. Of course the Princess could release her the same way she did the ponies in Rockton, but I don’t think she’ll ever do that.”
“No, she probably wouldn’t.” Matt said, chuckling. “We should probably be getting back to Canterlot.”
“Okie-dokie-lokie. Just let me clean up first. You guys go on ahead, I can handle this.” Pinkie said.
“I don’t know if we should leave you alone with her, Sugarcube.” Applejack protested. “Sides, won’t it go faster with more hooves?”
“Nah, thanks for the offer but Cerise said it would be forever, and I believe her. Besides, I’d like a little time to myself, okay?” Pinkie’s eyes were just a little brighter than they should have been and her smile looked a trifle forced.
“Ok, Pinkie, but if ya needs anythin’, ya call out, ya hear?” Applejack said reluctantly. “We’ll be right in those trees.”
“Thanks, AJ.” Pinkie said, turning to clear the table.
ooOoo
Fifteen minutes later Pinkie came back to the chariots. Rather than boarding the chariot with Teagan which had been her habit she asked Matt if she could ride with him. Twilight and Spike switched places to make room.
“Matt, can I ask you something?” Pinkie said after they’d been in the air for a couple of minutes.
“Sure, Pinkie, what is it?” Matt asked. He leaned back against the front of the chariot, relaxing.
“It’s about how I tricked Tišina. That was really mean—wasn’t it?” She looked like she wanted to cry. “I mean, we were having cake and I could tell she really liked it, and then—I turned her to stone. I know she was a Meanie and she hurt a lot of ponies. But it didn’t feel like the right thing to do. Did Cerise trick me into doing something bad?”
Her eyes were pleading. Matt took his time answering.
“I think Cerise did what had to be done Pinkie. Did she tell you something else was going to happen?”
“No.” Pinkie lay down on her pillow. “She said it would make Tišina’s magic backfire and turn her solid, just like when Tišina stabbed somepony.”
“Did she force you to do it?” Matt asked patiently.
“No.” Pinkie hung her head. “I agreed to do it. But I didn’t know it would feel this bad. Matt, I’m afraid I did something I shouldn’t have. You know how that feels, don’t you?”
“Yeah. I know.” He said quietly.
“How do you deal with it? How do you make it go away?”
“You don’t. You shouldn’t even try, Pinkie. Sometimes we have to do things to save others—bad things. Things we’re ashamed of. Things we never tell anyone else about. Right now it hurts, I know. The pain will fade, but you should never try to forget it. Because knowing that feeling keeps you from being too quick to do it again. That’s what separates the good guys from the bad guys.”
“Yeah, but how can you tell the good guys and the bad guys apart, Matt? I don’t know how!”
“Sure you do, Pinkie.” He said gently. “You knew Tišina was a bad guy. She tried to destroy the world. You don’t get much badder than that. If you really can’t tell, trust your friends. Twilight is a pretty good judge of character. Fluttershy’s no slouch, either. The best bet is never being too quick to judge. Talk it over with your friends before doing anything you’d regret doing if you were wrong. Oh, and take what Cerise says with a grain of salt. She’s got some serious anger management issues.”
“I guess that makes sense.” Pinkie said after a while. “Would you do me a favor, Matt?”
“What is it?”
“Would you ask Princess Celestia not to make a big deal out of Tišina’s defeat? It wouldn’t be right to celebrate and get all those medals and stuff like we did for Discord. I’m not happy that we had to trick her like that. It wasn’t like Discord, you know? Both times we fought him it was a fair fight. We earned it. This felt—dishonest. Dirty. I’m ashamed of myself for what I did.”
Matt sat and thought for several minutes. Pinkie didn’t say anything.
“Sometimes it’s hard, Pinkie. In my world lots of innocent people die when some madman decides he wants to invade a neighboring country, or settle old scores by butchering a bunch of people he hates but never met.”
“It was my job to make things right. Take out the madman, let people get on with their lives. Somehow it was never that simple. You’d shoot a bad guy only to find out he had a wife and kids and now the kids hate your guts and they’re going to grow up hating you and everything you stand for. But if you hadn’t done what you did more innocents would have died. The cycle never ends.”
“Here it was different. You didn’t kill anyone. You just put her to sleep, and theoretically she can still wake up. She probably never will but she could. When I put someone down they never get up again, Pinkie. Not ever. There’s no possibility they ever could.”
“That makes what you did pale in comparison. And let’s face it. If you hadn’t stopped Cuddles a lot of ponies would have died, more would have been hurt, and there would have been massive property damage. Even turning Cuddles back into Tišina wouldn’t have kept her from hurting your friends. Hell, she turned everyone in your home town to stone. If that had happened in my world it would have meant they were dead.”
“You didn’t hurt her. There wasn’t any pain. I was watching through my scope. It was quiet and it was gentle. Better than she deserved, if you ask me.”
“Yeah, but I tricked her! That wasn’t right. I lied to her. I told her everything would be better. I Pinkie-swore.” Pinkie started crying.
“Everything is better.” Matt pointed out. “The ponies get to live. See, here’s the thing, Pinkie. By doing what she did Tišina was trying to take their lives from them. From everyone. Now me, I’m a live and let live kind of guy. You want to do your thing, as long as you aren’t hurting anyone else then hey, go for it. But if you go out of your way to hurt people? Then I’m not so easy going.”
“What I’m trying to say here, Pinkie, is that you did good. I know it doesn’t feel like it now, but you kept her from hurting anyone else. And you did it without hurting Tišina. You did the impossible. Congratulations.”
“Really?” Pinkie didn’t look any happier.
“Really.” Matt smiled. “You want a hug?”
“YES!” She bawled and collapsed on him. He grunted, finding it hard to breathe from a combination of her weight and the way she was squeezing him with her forelegs. He hugged her firmly, patting her back.
ooOoo
“I’m worried about Pinkie Pie, Teelo.” Twilight said as Spike snored between them.
“What’s worrying you? Cerise or Tišina?” Teagan asked quietly, careful not to wake up the little dragon.
“Both, actually.” Twilight replied. “Cerise has been in Pinkie’s head since we defeated Discord! That was two years ago. And she never told us. Cerise is a demon, Teelo.”
“I wouldn’t worry about it too much. It sounds like Pinkie possessed Cerise instead of the other way around. As scary as she is Cerise is on our side. She likes Pinkie, remember? And she never offered to hurt any of us.”
“You can’t trust demons.” Twilight said darkly.
“The same way you can’t trust zebras?” Teagan asked gently. Twilight winced.
“That’s different! Zecora’s not evil. Cerise is.”
“I suspect Cerise isn’t so much evil as lazy.” Teagan disagreed. “I mean, yeah when Pinkie went searching for Garnet and left Cerise in charge she went postal on Tišina, but if I’d been in her position I might have done exactly the same thing. I did try to kill Discord. Twice, if you remember. Am I evil?”
“No, of course not!” Twilight replied, shocked. “You attacked Discord to keep him from torturing Fluttershy.”
“Not the first time. Remember the fake Discord? I smashed his throat in with Crush before I knew it was a decoy.”
Twilight frowned.
“You were trying to stop a threat. Cerise was just after revenge. She told us that.”
“The last time I was here I didn’t know what killing someone really meant.” Teagan said quietly. “Sun Hammer showed me how to kill, but not what it meant. When I went after Discord that first time I did it because he hurt Princess Celestia. I did it because he kidnapped me. I did it because I saw the six of you lying on the ground and I thought you were dead. I did it to protect everyone. But I also did it for revenge.”
“And the second time?” Twilight asked, her ears coming forward.
“To save Fluttershy. But when he was lying there with a broken neck, and he couldn’t move, I tried to kill him because I was so incredibly angry with him for daring to hurt me and my friends. If Princess Celestia had been even one second later I would have murdered him. Not executed him. Not killed him. Murdered him. I was this close.” She held her thumb and forefinger less than an eighth of an inch apart.
“Cerise didn’t try to kill Tišina. She just cut her tentacles off and scared the devil out of her. It wasn’t that big a deal because Tišina regenerates. So by Cerise’s standards she was showing remarkable restraint. I think being in Pinkie’s head corrupted the demon.” She chuckled. “Besides, you tend to obsess too much. Cerise is asleep. Let her stay that way. Pinkie is Pinkie. She’ll always be the party-pony, the Bearer of Laughter. Even as random as she is she won’t let you down. Have faith in her.”
“You’re right.” Twilight perked up. “If I can’t trust my friends, who can I trust?”
“That’s the spirit!” Teagan nodded.
They landed ten minutes later. Pinkie was her old self again, laughing and chatting with her friends, Twilight included as they went into the castle to tell Celestia what had happened.