“Captain on deck!” yelled the grey pegasus at the helm.
A young stallion emerged from the rear captain’s quarters and took place next to his helmsman, “Rumble, what’s the situation?”
“There a small boat crossing into the forbidden zone, Captain Pip.”
He pulled out his telescope and examined the target vessel. After a moment Pipsqueak replied, “Adjust direction and speed to an intercept course. I will handle this.”
The wind propelled the ship forward, filling the sail with unseen power. As the ship neared its prey, Pipsqueak raised a megaphone to his mouth and spoke.
“This is the Royal Equestrian Navy. You are entering prohibited waters, prepare to be boarded!” Pipsqueak’s Trottingham accent flowed off his tongue like the proud banner of the Royal Equestrian Navy flying above the mast, the flag’s elegance magnified by the rhythmic motion of the wind.
The REN ship pulled alongside the other boat. Lowering a rope ladder, Captain Pipsqueak climbed down into the caught vessel, approaching its lone occupant.
“Excuse me, sir. I am Captain Pipsqueak, and I am going to need you to—“
“What did you say there, sonny?” the vessel’s tenant wheezed, raising a hoof to his ear.
There, in front of Pipsqueak, sat an old pony. A very, very, very old pony, whose age was only emphasized by his crinkled skin, balding head, and squinted eyes. The geezer was hunched over holding a fishing rod out above the water. From the look of it, Pip noted, he hadn’t caught anything in a long time.
“Sir, you are floating too close to a prohibited area,” Pip pointed his hoof towards the dangerously close jagged rocks rising out of the water, right next to the base of a menacing looking cliff. “I am going to need you to redirect your boat—“
“What’s that?” The elderly pony raised a hoof to his ear, straining to hear.
“I need you to take your boat elsewhere! There are rocks and—"
“You need to take my coat? Whaddya want with my coat?”
“Your BOAT! You need to take your fishing boat away from the ROCKS! It’s too dangerous—"
“You want to play with my socks?” asked the elder, more confused. “But I ain’t wearin’ socks, sonny.”
“NO!” Pipsqueak’s volume steadily increased, as he pointed to each object he emphasized. “I need YOU to redirect your BOAT away from the GIANT ROCKS that will KILL YOU if you don’t!”
The old pony shifted his gaze from his boat to the rocks, then from the rocks to his boat. After some processing and a moment of silence, the old pony looked questioningly back up to Pipsqueak.
“Eh…What?”
Pip face-hoofed and sighed, “Rumble, please get Snips and Snails to tie this boat to ours, we’ll pull it out to a safe distance.”
“As you wish, captain,” replied Rumble, leaning over the edge of the boat.
As Pip began to climb back up to his ship, the older pony called after him. “Hey sonny, that’s some ship you got there!” he said, now noticing the neighboring vessel, eyes wide with shock.
Pip answered over his shoulder, “Thank you, sir.”
“That there has got to be the worst lookin’ ship I’ve ever seen!”
___________________________________
THE ADVENTURES OF PIPSQUEAK
Adventure 1: The Crown of the Moon
The setting sun cast an orange glow over the ocean’s horizon. The Mini, now finished with its daily duties, had pulled into Baltimare port, taking its place among the other vessels of the Royal Navy. However, when compared to the other ships docked around it, The Mini looked…quite depressing. Its paint was peeling off the wooden hull in multiple places; if it hadn’t been for the faded outlines of letters once in place, the name on the boat’s hull would’ve read “T ini.” The single sail on the boat had various holes and rips in it. Every time the wind blew it seemed fragile enough to rip right off the mast and flow out to sea. . The tiny ship teetered back and forth against even the smallest waves, struggling desperately to stay afloat.
It didn’t even have one cannon.
“Hey guys look! It’s the ‘Misfit Mini’!” scoffed an earth pony walking along the dock. The group of sailors he was walking with joined in the fun.
“I hear the crew is nothing but a bunch of screw-ups,” said one.
“If I had a bunch of oddball ponies like that in my fleet,” said another, “I’d stick ‘em on that piece of junk too. I betchya the admiral’s hopin’ it sinks and takes the lot of them with it!”
“I heard even its captain is miniature.” The group’s cackling echoed between the ships as they walked past and away from the tiny little vessel.
This was The Mini.
This was Captain Pipsqueek’s ship.
“Good job today, everypony. Once everything is secure, you’re free to head into town for the rest of the evening, but be here bright and early. We have inspection tomorrow.” Pip called over the wooden railing to his hearty crew of three.
His crew. Let’s not forget them.
First there was Rumble Lane, Pip’s Chief Officer. Pip had been friends with him since their early foal hood days in Ponyville, and together, they had left to look for adventure on the high seas. Since neither Canterlot nor Ponyville were near any open water, the two had found themselves in the nearest port town in Equestria, Baltimare.
“Alright! A night on the town! Somepony is gettin’ some tonight!” Rumble hollered, thrusting his hoof in the air.
Correction, Rumble had likely left Ponyville to look for flank, more than adventure.
“For once, keep it in your knickers, mate. Let’s hurry up.” Pip chuckled.
The grey pegasus flew into the air and spiraled up to the top of the mast. “You heard the captain! Snips, Snails, get off your flanks and tie down the mast! I’ll take care of things up top.”
“Aye aye, sir!” the pair said in unison, as they scrambled, clumsily tripping over the other.
Snips and Snails were also from Ponyville, but were a bit older than Pip and Rumble. These two had been kicked off of nearly every other ship they had been assigned to. They were responsible for more damages, lost equipment, and accidental over-board instances than the entire Royal Navy combined.
“How’re those patches for the sail coming along Snips?”
“Coming along great, skipper!” multiple pairs of scissors, animated by magic, lit up, zooming back and forth over a long spread of cloth. Some danced out of control, shooting back and forth across the deck. One pair skimmed the back of Snips neck, trimming his mane slightly shorter than before. “Uh, well, I’ve still got some work to do.”
“Snails what about the remaining food supply?”
“D-uh…” Snails lifted the top to a barrel, a vile green colored stench emitted from inside. The unicorn took several sniffs and shut the top, “-still good Cap’n!”
“Right then,” Pip said covering his nose, the stench detectable even from that distance, “why don’t you throw that one off just to be sure.”
“Eye-Eye Capitahn,” Snails lifted the barrel with his magic. But as he neared the edge of the ship, his hoof landed on a loose board.
“Oi Snails, watch out for that—"
SMACK!
Like a see-saw or an over-powered catapult, the loose board flew up and smacked poor snails square in the face. The magic holding the barrel vanished and the orange unicorn fell back on to his haunches.
“D-Wow…Look at all the pretty stars.”
Pip laughed quietly, shaking his head. He left his crew to finish their work and made his way back to the captain’s quarters.
Speaking of stars. He thought.
Before entering, he glanced up at the dimming evening sky. His eyes searched for the glimmer of the night’s first star. For some reason, he always felt relieved when he saw the stars. The way the familiar formations and constellations charted out the wondrous sea in the sky, to him, was indescribably beautiful. It reminded him of…
But there were no signs of any stars, yet.
Then, just as he was about to pull his gaze away, a faint streak of light caught his attention. It cut across the atmosphere in seconds and faded into the distance.
A shooting star? He wondered, following its path with his eyes.
“Hey Captain, you gonna join us tonight or what? You can’t stay cooped up in this piece of junk forever,” rumble called from the dock. The three had finished their jobs and were heading into town. “C’mon buddy, tonight’s my treat,” he beckoned.
Pip snapped out of his trance. “Uh, yeah sure. I’ll be down in a jiffy. Just let me put some stuff away.” He hurried into his quarters, moments later emerging with his favorite red bandana around his neck.
“Having a staring contest with the sky or something?” Rumble joked.
“No, I was just…thinking about something. That’s all.” Pip hopped down onto the dock, joining Rumble.
“Ha-ha, whatever you say Captain Pip. Now let’s go have some fun. I know this great pub…”
___________________________________
“I am sorry everypony, but that will be all for tonight,” Luna said politely, exiting the main hall. A small group of aristocrats followed after her.
“But Princess, there are still many orders of business to take care—"
“I said, that will be all for tonight.” Her tone was strong enough to make her point.
“Y-Yeas Princess. As you wish.” The luxuriously clad ponies bowed in compliance.
It had already been a few hours since Celestia had guided the sun down, and it was now night time, so it was Luna’s turn to take responsibility over the affairs of Canterlot. The day had been especially long in the Courts, and although Luna knew it was her royal duty, she could never get used to the endless memorandums, propositions, and requests that the nobility tossed her way. In the recent years, she had come to take a more active role in the affairs of the kingdom, but it also meant that she had much less personal time then she was used to.
She entered the sanctuary of her personal chambers, letting loose a sigh of relief. With a soft glow of magic from her horn, she closed the doors behind her.
A teasing voice came from beside, “Rough day today Luna?”
“Eeep!” Luna squealed, taken by surprise. She turned to find Princess Celestia casually relaxing on Luna’s bed, head rested on her hoof.
“Dear sister, thou took us by—” she caught herself mid-sentence, “I mean… you took me by surprise.”
Celestia held back a chuckle with her hoof, “I must have scared you quite badly. It’s been some time since I have heard you speak in traditional Canterlot.”
“I was not expecting you,” she said, quietly, an embarrassed blush covered face.
“Oh Luna,” Celestia smiled empathetically, “I really don’t mind if you use it. It reminds me of when we were younger.”
Luna shook her head “No sister, for the sake of connecting with our subjects, I must.”
Celestia faked a pout, “Not even for your big sister? It’s so cute Lulu.”
Luna returned with her own jab, “Only if I can cancel the Royal Dessert contest, Tia.”
“You wouldn’t dare!” Celestia gasped in mock shock, both hooves raised to her face.
“Payback for the endless amounts of paperwork you leave me with at the end of every day.”
They both broke out into laughter. Luna felt much better now that there was a smile on her face. It wasn’t often that the two got to spend time together, especially since they governed opposite times of the day. But the time they did share was special.
But the moment was interrupted by a knock at the door.
“Oh, whoever could it be at this hour?” Luna said, puzzled.
With a swish of her head, she opened the door to find a young female Night Guard solemnly standing at her doorstep.
“Good evening Princess Luna. I apologize for the interruption, but something has happened that requires your immediate attention.”
“Can it not wait till the morning, Smiles?”
“I’m afraid not Princess.” Came the emotionless reply.
Smiles…Not a very appropriate name, Luna thought, slightly amused. “Very well then, please tell me what is so urgent.”
The guard peeked in Luna’s room and spotted Princess Celestia. She shifted her weight uncomfortably, hesitantly looking back up to Luna. “Right now, Princess?”
“Yes, of course,” Luna replied, impatiently.
After a brief moment of hesitation, the female guard spoke.
“It is here, Princess. In Equestria.”
Silence.
“Are you sure?” Luna questioned slowly, a stern look in her crystal blue eyes.
“It landed earlier this evening, off the coast of Baltimare.”
Celestia raised her head in confusion. “What is it, Luna? Is everything alright?”
But much to Celestia’s surprise, Luna spun around with an enthusiastic grin on her face. Her wings spread out in excitement, “Oh Tia! Everything is more than alright! It is wonderful!”
___________________________________
“—So then, while everypony else all hiding behind the bushes in fear, this little guy runs up to Nightmare Moo-I mean Princess Luna, and tugs on her mane. He tugs on her mane, with his mouth! I thought she was gonna hoof-slap him!”
The surrounding ponies in the tavern burst into laughter. There, at the center of the gathering, amongst the partially filled glasses of cider and small wooden tables, sat the four crew of The Mini. Rumble, having consumed more than enough cider, was telling the story of how the Princess Luna had appeared in Ponyville, and nearly canceled their beloved holiday of Nightmare Night.
Snips leaned over begging for more of the tale, “And then what happened?”
“I’m glad you asked Snips,” Rumble said. He patted Pip’s back, nearly knocking the little stallion out of his seat. “After a couple of words from the captain here, she changed her mind and decided to bring Nightmare Night back!”
A chorus of impressed “oohs” and “ahs” echoed from the listeners.
“And then,” Rumble continued, a devious grin on his face, “he says…now listen to this. Then he says to her…you’re my favorite princess ever!”
Once again the room burst into laughter, but this time it included a few catcall whistles, hoots, and hollers. Up till now, Pip had let Rumble tell the story out of good sportsmanship, but this was enough to make his face flush red with embarrassment.
“Blimey, mate, you don’t have to tell that story everywhere we go. You know very well I didn’t mean it like that.””
“Aw c’mon buddy. It’s not every day you best friend attracts the attention of a beautiful moon princess.” Rumble elbowed Pip’s side, teasingly.
Pip pushed the slightly inebriated pegasus away, chuckling, “I’m telling you, It wasn’t like that you big numpty.”
“Even so,” continued Rumble, “ever since that day, I told myself, I better stick close to this guy. He’s going places. And we’ve been best friends ever since. So, here’s to Pipsqueak, the best captain that Baltimare, the REN, and Equestria has ever seen. Cheers!” Rumble yelled, raising his mug into the air.
“Cheers!” Snips, Snails and the surrounding ponies joined in.
Somewhere in the tavern, somepony began to play a merry tune on the violin. Hoofs stomped to the tune as everypony began to move and dance to the rhythm of the Irish jig.
Rumble put a hoof around his friend, “So when do you think the Admiral will give us approval to repair the ship?” He yelled over the noise around them.
“I don’t know, mate. But I’ll keep sending the requests. I’m sure he’s just been busy.”
“Well, if he makes us wait any longer, I’ll go right up to him and tell him to buck o—"
His attention was pulled away from the conversation, interrupted by the glimpse of yellow mare entering through the tavern door. She wore a saddlebag, obviously from out of town.
“Well, well. What do we have here?” A curious smirk began to curl on one side of his mouth. He watched the mare’s back (more specifically, her back-side) as she wandered over to the bartender.
“Would look at the plot on that one.” Rumble slowly pulled away from the rowdy group. He licked his hoof and slicked back his dark mane. “Sorry boys, but tonight I’ve got a date with destiny, and it looks like she’s ordered the cider.”
Pip peeked over to Rumble’s new prey and chuckled, “I think you better think again, mate, and get your head out of the clouds. You’ll regret it.”
“A pegasus keeping his head out of the clouds. That’s a first.”
“You know what I mean.”
“Don’t worry cap’n, I’ve got this all under control.”
“You’re bonkers, mate. Ha-ha. Go on then, there’s no stopping you now.”
Rumble gave one last shake of his legs, and then he was off. “Alright, let’s Rumble!”
He made his way through the pub’s crowd, slipping past groups of ponies, making sure to avoid bumping into one and spilling cider. He neared bartender’s counter and casually slipped in between another stallion and his golden objective.
Turning towards her, he broke the ice, “Hey there, hot stuff—”
The mare swiveled her head quickly towards Rumble, “Well ah’ll be, howdy there Rumble Lane.”
Rumble’s suave manner shattered in an instant as he nearly dropped his cider. “A-A-A-Applebloom,” he managed to sputter, “Gee, what a…surprise, seeing you…here. ” He straightened himself up and attempted to look casual by rubbing the back of his neck.
“Ah just got into town today. Ah’m here seeing the sights for the weekend. Takin’ a break from the farm n’ all. How long’s it been… a couple years ain’t it? How’ve ya been?” She smiled sweetly.
“I’ve been, uh…good. Yeah.” He stammered.
Good? Good! What was that? Keep it together Rumble, he thought to himself, so this is a little bit of a curveball, nothing you can’t handle.
He had never expected somepony from Ponyville to show up here in Baltimare, especially somepony he’d known. He gave the young apple farmer a quick Rumble-scan, starting with her well-toned legs, all the way up to her tied mane. Her aura gave off a sweet and tasty scent, yet hard and crisp…like…well, like an apple.
“Ya feelin’ okay?” she leaned in closer, causing Rumble to retreat a couple inches.
“Uh, yeah, of course. I’m feeling fine.” He took a swig of his drink. Alright, you can do this.
So what, if he knew her? She was about the same age, maybe a little bit older. At the very least, this made his job a little bit easier; her defenses against pick-up lines would surely be lowered in the presence of a familiar face.
“Ahem, sorry about that Applebloom, I just didn’t expect to see you here. But since you are,” he scooted in a little closer, “how about I buy you a couple of drinks and take you around town.”
“Well that’d be mighty kind of ya Rumble, seein’ as ah’m not too familiar with these parts.”
“I could show you around, we could have some fun, and who knows… maybe we’ll even have ourselves a little hoedown…just the two of us.”
“Ah beg ya, pardon?” she seemed innocently confused. Rumble leaned in even more, closing the gap between the two.
“You see, I don’t know much about cowboys and gowgirls, but ropes, spurs, and leather sounds like a good time in my book, any day.”
Applebloom’s wide eyes and confused look didn’t stop his advances.
“So whaddya say, gorgeous?”
It clicked.
“Ohhhh, ah get what yer sayin’.” To Rumble’s surprise, her face went from confused to…seductive. She batted her eyelashes slowly and moved in closer to his face.
“You do?” Now, Rumble was the confused one. Surprisingly turned on, but confused nonetheless.
“Oh yeah.” She slowly pulled out her rope from the saddlebag next to her. “Ya wanna put a saddle on this cowgirl, don’t ya…”
“I do?”
“Ya wanna see what else these legs of mine are good at buckin’, don’t ya…” She leaned in closer one hoof caressing his chest with the tip of the rope.
“I do.”
“You wanna have me mount ya…” The rope disappeared out of his field of vision.
“I do!”
“An’ ride ya like a bull.” Her sweet scent filled Rumbles nose.
“I do!!”
“There’s one more thing…Want me to let ya in on a little secret, cowboy?” She said softly as her muzzle traveled closer to his ear.
“I do!!!”
Making sure to breathe seductively into his ear before she spoke, Applebloom softly whispered, “This cowgirl only rides bareback.”
A shiver of excitement ran up Rumble’s spine.
She pulled back, batting her eyelashes one more time, and with that, she promptly turned and started walking away, exaggerating the sway of her hips.
“Hey!? Wait! Where are you going, baby. I thought—" Rumble went to go after her, but before he could finish his sentence, his legs refused to move and he face planted right into the hard wood of the tavern floor. “What? What’s going on, why are my legs tied up?”
Applebloom looked over her shoulder with a playful smile and answered. “It’s called a hog tie, great for tying up wild animals…and pigs.”
“Wha…When did you…”
She triumphantly grinned and continued to walk away, lightly swishing her tail across Rumble’s face. Her sweet scent once again filled his nose. “See ya later, cowboy. Better luck next time.”
Rumble began to shimmy along the floor, not giving up the chase. “Wait up, baby! You can’t just leave me like this-oof!”
An orange hoof found a place on his chest, harshly pinning him in place. “Need me to take out this trash AppleBee?”
“Apple…*cough*…bee?” Rumble wheezed.
“Scoot! There ya are! Ah was wondering where ya went off to.” The farmer trotted over to her filly-hood friend. “Oh, don’t mind him. That there is little ol’ Rumble, from Ponyville, remember?”
“Thunder Lane’s little brother?”
“Same one.” Applebloom brushed Scootaloo’s hoof off of his chest, allowing Rumble to gasp a breath of relief. “So, don’t ya worry. He’s as harmless as a fly.”
She stared down at him, eyes squinting. “Annoying as one, too.”
“Heeeey there, Scoots-“ Tenderly speaking through the pain in his ribcage he cautiously greeted his assailant.
“Scootaloo! Applebloom! What are you two doing here?” Pip had heard the commotion and was making his way over to the three. He noticed his grey friend tied up on the floor clutching his ribs. “I can see you’ve already met Rumble.”
“Well ain’t that the darndest. Howdy there Pipsqueak!”
Scootaloo rolled her eyes. “Oh great, the womanizer and the shorty.”
“Hey! That’s rude!” Rumble interjected from below, “Pip is not a shorty!”
”I told you to just leave it, mate, or you’d regret it. Now hold still. Applebloom, Scootaloo, if you wouldn’t mind, once I get these ropes off, how about I buy us all a round of cider. It’s the least I can do after the trouble this bloke’s caused.”
Applebloom restrained a giggle. “We’d love that, it’ll give us a great chance to catch up. Here let me help ya with those ropes.”
Scootaloo groaned. “Whatever.”
___________________________________
“Luna, I hate to interrupt, but would you mind slowing down and explaining to me what’s going on.” said Celestia, calling after her sister.
The two princesses were hurrying down a dark corridor of Canterlot Castle. Smiles, the Night Guard was following quietly behind them.
“Oh Tia! This is so exciting, so marvelous.” She sang, happily, as she pranced down the hall.
“I’m pleased to see you so happy, sister, but I must ask again. What is all this about?”
Luna stopped and twirled to face Celestia, “Oh dear sister, it is the crown! It is my crown!”
“Your…crown?” Celestia raised an eyebrow.
“Yes!” squealed Luna, flapping her wings in excitement.
Celestia, still not sure what her beloved sister was talking about, raised an eyebrow and pointed to the tiara sitting atop Luna’s head. “If I’m not mistaken, Luna, you’re wearing your tiara as we speak.”
Luna glanced up to her current head piece, questioningly, “Oh no sister, not this little thing.” She poked it with the end of her hoof.
“Then what are you referring to?”
“Oh, well that’s simple,” Luna said, resuming their pace down the corridor, “the crown I was going to adorn myself with, after I had plunged the world into everlasting night.”
Celestia stopped. Her eyes wide open. Poor Smiles nearly walked headfirst into her royal flank.
Luna noticed that her sister was no longer right behind her and let out a giggle, “Oh Tia, I was just teasing. It’s not what you think!”
Celestia cleared her throat and attempted to regain her composure. “Very well then, Luna, please continue,” her voice still slightly shaky.
“Well, I suppose at the time of its creation, my intent was to cover the world in eternal darkness—” The Moon Princess admitted, a bashful smile on her face.
This wasn’t helping her case.
“—but, sister, please understand. This was during my time in exile, when I was consumed by the power of Nightmare Moon...”
“I see.” she felt slightly relieved.
“During my time confined to the moon, I — or rather, Nightmare Moon — crafted a magnificent crown, to be worn at the time of my victory. However, instead of returning to Equestria with me, it was cast into a slow, descending orbit around the planet. But it has finally returned!”
“You crafted a crown while banished to the moon?” Celestia said sarcastically.
“Yes, well, I had a lot of time on my hands. Besides, that helmet was a bit tacky. Don’t you think so?”
Smiles stepped next to Celestia, speaking up. “It is said, Princess, that the ‘Crown of the Moon’ was forged from the remnants of meteors that had struck the face of the moon. That it is adorned with diamonds blacker than the night itself, and that it sparkles with the purest dust from space. Its power is said to contain, not only the power of the moon, but the power of the universe.” Through Smiles’ emotionless face leaked a hint of reverence and admiration.
Celestia stood in awe. “Is that all true?”
“Well,” said Luna playfully, “Not all of it. The meteor bit was true. But, oh, it was beautiful, Tia. Quite a sight to see and a most precious beautiful item.”
Celestia had to admit that she was impressed (and relieved) by Luna’s attitude towards her memories as Nightmare Moon. It was a testament to the milestones Luna had crossed in her years acclimating to the modern age and forgiving herself for the Nightmare Moon tragedy. This crown must have been something magnificent, indeed.
“Very well then, my dear sister. If it means that much to you, then we shall retrieve it.”
“Oh thank you, sister. We…I mean, I am so pleased!”
But one question still bugged Celestia. “How did you know it had come, Luna? Why did we not sense anything?” For something that powerful to enter the atmosphere and neither of the two to notice…surely, Celestia wasn’t getting rusty.
Luna scratched her chin in contemplation, “It must have entered the atmosphere around the time you were lowering the Sun and I was raising the Moon, at sunset. That duty tends to require the majority of our attention. Does it not?”
“I suppose it does.”
“Smiles, what do you think?”
“Yes, Princess, that is exactly what we hypothesized, as well.”
Celestia caught the wording Smiles had used. “Luna, what does she mean by ‘we’?” her eyes suspiciously narrowed upon the Princess of the Moon.
“Hehe, well, I might have assigned some of the Night Guards to monitor the stars for…activity.”
Celestia sighed. Luna would be Luna. Equestria’s tax dollars were hard at work. Hopefully the nobility didn’t find out about this, or they would have a field day. And, oh, the paperwork, the dreaded paperwork. Celestia would make sure to leave an extra pile of papers for her sister.
But Celestia still felt like Luna wasn’t telling her something. “Luna. Is there anything, else I should know about this Crown of the Moon?”
“Whatever do you mean?” she shifted uncomfortably.
“Anything I should know? Anything at all?”
“Well, I suppose there is one, teeny, tiny little matter…”
She knew it. “And?”
“And it may require the assistance of the Elements of Harmony…”
“Why is that?” she questioned, not liking where this was going.
“Well, it is possible, though highly unlikely, that the crown…”
“That the crown…what?”
“That,” Luna paused, wishing she did not have to disclose the next part, “some of the dark powers of Nightmare Moon may still be fused within it—” She offered a hopeful smile.
Of course.
“—tis nothing the Elements cannot remedy.”
Celestia moaned. “Very well, then. I will send for Twilight Sparkle and her friends. Please contact Admiral Nibitz in Baltimare and have him organize a search party. We will send Twilight and the others with them; it’d be too much of a stir if we go. If what you say is true, we should keep this fairly low key, Luna. We don’t want it to fall into the wrong hands.”
“Oh Tia, you worry too much. What’s the worst that could happen?”
___________________________________
Pipsqueak, Rumble, Snips, Snails, Scootaloo, and Applebloom all sat around one of the small tables in the tavern. Everypony seemed to be having a good time. That is, everypony except for Scootaloo.
Applebloom had been telling of her life and the recent endeavors back home. She had become the construction coordinator for all of Ponyville! Between her duties on the Apple farm and the local construction projects, she was kept very busy.
Sometimes, too busy.
“An’ so ah decided to get away for a couple of days, have a little R an’ R. Ah invited Scoots here and that’s how we ended up in Baltimare. It’s just plain luck that we bumped into ya’ll.”
Rumble leaned over the table slyly, “You can bump into me any day, beautiful.” He winked.
“Will you quit it, you idiot.” barked Scootaloo, sourly. “You’re getting on my nerves.”
Rumble turned his attention towards the orange pegasus, “No problem there Scoots, if it’s attention you wanted, you could have asked me. There’s plenty of Rumble to go around.”
“Ugh, as if. Don’t make me use my hoof again.” she threatened.
“Is that a promise?” he shot her a sexy look.
“Urrgh!” Scootaloo growled in frustration. Pipsqueak attempted to steer the conversation back to normal.
“So Scootaloo, how is your dream of becoming a Wonderbolt coming along?” he asked.
“It’s got nothing to do with you.” She grumpily slumped, crossing her hooves. There was an uncomfortably long silence following that. Pip and Rumble shot worried looks to each other. They weren’t sure what was wrong, but Scootaloo was definitely acting strange.
“—What about y’all? Last ah heard you both had gone of to join the Royal navy, or somethin’ like that.“ Applebloom attempted to break the awkward silence that her friend’s bad attitude had caused.
If there was one thing Rumble exceled at, it was breaking the silence.
“You know it babe, Pip and I have been sailing together since we left Ponyville. Pip here even became captain of his own ship,” he patted his friend on the head, “of which I am part of the crew.”
“Yeah,” piped in Snips, “Cap’n Pip even personally requested that me and Snails be put on The Mini with him!”
Snails finished a sip with a goofy grin, “Ya-We’ve been deckhands for a loooong time.”
“You mean deckhoofs, Snails.” Corrected Snips.
“Uh-Wha?”
“Deckhoofs. You mean deckhoofs. What’s a hand anyway?”
The crew looked to each other, seeing if anypony knew the answer. They all shrugged it off.
“Well that’s just dandy, good for y’all. Sounds like things are goin’ swell for ya.”
Rumble leaned over the table to emphasize his next words, “M’lady, you are looking at the best crew in all of Eques—”
“Well, Well, Well, what do we have here?” interrupted a mocking voice, “If it isn’t the crew of The Misfit Mini!” a group of four sailor ponies entered through the tavern doors. Posing haughtily at the center of the other three stood a uniformed unicorn stallion. His yellow mane was parted meticulously, curling at the end, across his white coat. He wore a blue captains jacket, primped and prepped to perfection, as if he was about to enter an awards ceremony. The whole tavern went silent as all eyes converged on the scene unfolding before them.
“Oh no, not this lot,” muttered Pipsqueak.
Applebloom turned to Rumble, “Who’re these goons?”
“They’re trouble, that’s what.” he growled.
The decorated unicorn sauntered over to the group, accompanied by his thugs. “Looky here boys, the mini-captain and his crew of cast-outs.”
“What do you want, Tassel?” Pipsqueak remained sitting.
Tassel stared menacingly down at Pip. “That’s Captain Tassel to you, tiny.”
Rumble jumped to all four, wings beating in anger, “Watch your mouth when talking to the skipper.”
“You mean the half-pint here?”
“Pip’s twice the stallion you are.”
“Is that so?” Tassel started circling the table, nonchalantly, “I can’t think of any right minded pony that would take charge of that floating piece of driftwood. Only a half-brained foal hoping to commit career suicide would even dream of it. I suppose body size is proportional to brain size."
“I said, watch your mouth, you—"
“It’s all right Rumble, sit back down.” Pipsqueak motioned for his First Mate to sit.
“Then what about you,” Tassel eyed Rumble, “the midget’s numb-scull number-two. I hear that you nearly got your own ship, top marks right out of training school. That is, until you were caught fooling around with the Admirals daughter.” he hissed a devilish smirk.
“Say what now?” Applebloom raised a brow.
Rumble nervously whispered to her, “It was a long time ago, baby. Don’t worry, you’re the only one for me—"
“Then there’s the dimwitted duo,” Tassel had moved on to Snips and Snails, who were desperately trying to avoid eye contact. “It’s amazing you two were even allowed to stay in the Royal Navy. Stupid. Clumsy. Walking natural disasters is what you both are. The last ship you were on heard you’d fallen overboard trying to fix a life boat, and they nearly left you there to drown at sea.”
The pairs’ heads sank low with embarrassment and humiliation.
“That’s enough!” Now Pip was the one who was angry, he jumped on the table, knocking over several mugs, and made his way over to Tassel. “You can make fun of me, you can make fun of my ship—," he pressed his head face close, speaking through gritted teeth “—but I will not allow anypony to humiliate my crew.”
The two mares at the table, Applebloom and Scootaloo, caught Tassel’s eye. “Oh, I see. Trying to act tough in front of your pony-friends?”
“Get out.”
Ignoring Pip’s command, Tassel tipped the end of Scootaloo’s bangs with his hoof, “Why don’t you two fine mares come have some fun with real stallions.”
Scootaloo batted him away angrily, “C’mon Applebloom, let’s leave these feather-brains to themselves.” She took her friend by the hoof and began trotting away from the heated table. But before they got to the door—
“Wait a second! I knew I recognized that mare from somewhere.” A pegusus in Tassel’s crew blurted out, pointing at Scootaloo, “Hey, boss, last month, that orange one there was at the Wonderbolt tryouts over in Cloudsdale—”
Scootaloo froze.
“—yeah, she was the one who couldn’t even FLY! She fell right off the cloud!”
Without turning her head she softly spoke, “…shut up…”
He continued, beginning to laugh “—you should’ve seen it. I was there. It was like watching someone throw a rock right off of a cliff!”
Scootaloo began to tremble in rage. “I said shut up.”
“—The Wonderbolts had to jump out of their seats and save her! I mean, what kind of idiot pegasus doesn’t even know how to fly—”
“Now calm down Scoot, we should get goin’ like ya said.” Her friend urged.
“—It was crazy! I hear they banned her from ever trying out again—"
“You shut your mouth!” Scootaloo shot right at the other Pegasus, knocking him into the wall of the tavern.
“BAR FIGHT!” somepony yelled.
The pub exploded into chaos. Furiously, she began to pound the stallion into the wall. Before Tassel’s crew could get to Scootaloo and assist their overpowered shipmate, Rumble threw over the table. Mugs of cider flew into the air as each pony scrambled to either hide or join in the frenzy.
Had Discord, lord of chaos, been present, he would have been pleased.
“Rumble, get Scoot and Applebloom out of here!” Pip yelled above the noise.
“On it!” he dashed overhead to where Applebloom was, skimming the roof and dodging a variety of flying objects, “Hey there pretty pony, need a lift?” he bowed.
She curtsied in return, “Thank ya kindly si-GET DOWN!” She shoved his head down, hopped over, and face-bucked one of Tassel’s unicorn thugs who had been running straight at them brandishing a broken chair leg. He flew over the crowd and smashed through the window.
“Thanks…”
“No problem, now let’s go!” Rumble picked her up and headed over to where Scootaloo was fighting. She was hard to miss. In the middle of all the chaos, she had begun punching, bucking, and biting anypony that tried to pull her away from the already unconscious pegusus sailor.
Pipsqueak attempted to move closer to her, but before he could, Tassel and his remaining companion jumped in front of him, blocking the path.
“Oh-ho-ho-ho-ho, now you’re going to get it Pipsquirt,” he slowly neared his prey, a terrifying desire to inflict pain blazing in his eyes.
Pip looked around him and spotted Snips and Snails cowering behind the bar table, near the cook’s kitchen. Pip could see various knives hanging off the kitchen wall, and large cooking scissors in a nearby drawer. “Snips! Use your magic and fix the sails!”
“W-W-What?!” Snips stammered, not sure what Pip meant.
“Use your magic and fix the sails!”
Then he spotted the cutlery and caught on. “Aye aye, sir!” He clenched his teeth as he strained to summon enough power.
The knives and scissors all rose from their stationary position, surrounded by a magical glow, and all at once shot off in all directions. They sped around cutting away at manes, clothes, and coats like a barbershop on a rampage.
“What?!” cried Tassel as a pair of scissors began to twister around him, “No! What are you doing?! Not my mane, not my décor!” He shrieked as locks of his golden mane floated before his eyes. Everypony in the tavern began to forsake the fighting and started running for cover.
Pip gave a loud whistle, signaling the five other from Ponyville. “Time to go!”
Snips and Snails leaped over the counter and crawled out.
“Easier said than done, cap’n.” Rumble and Applebloom desperately pulled on Scootaloo, who struggled more with every inch they neared towards the exit.
“C’mon Scoot! We gotta go!” Applebloom pleaded, but to no effect. Her fellow CMC continued to thrash and flap her wings.
“I’ve had about enough of this,” said Rumble impatiently. “Scoots, I’m really sorry about this, but you leave me no choice.” He spun her around hard, so she was facing him, leaned in, and planted a deep kiss right on her muzzle.
Her eyes widened, in shock. She wasn’t sure what was happening. Her legs and wings slowly halted to a complete stop, falling limp at her sides.
After a moment, Rumble pulled away, grinning slyly. “Actually, you know what? I take it back. I’m not sorry about that.”
Scootaloo’s countenance went from surprise and shock, to anger and fury, once again. “Why you little…” she blushed angrily, “I’m GONNA KILL Y—”
THUMP!
But before she could take revenge, her eyes rolled back and her head fell forward, unconscious. Behind her, stood Applebloom with one hoof raised in a striking pose. “At’ll do the trick.”
Rumble’s mouth fell open, “I…she…you…when did you learn to do karate?”
“Ah picked up a lotta things growin’ up in the Cutie Mark Crusader.” She beamed.
“Baby, I like you more and more with every second.”
She caressed the bottom of his chin, “Girls don’t usually go fer guys that kiss their best friend, darlin’,” she said with a wink,
“Now c’mon, let’s skedaddle!” Rumble carried Applebloom and the unconscious Scootaloo above the ruckus and out the door.
“Where’re we going cap’n?”
“Head to the ship, we can let Scootaloo rest there!” and together, the gang of six escaped into the night.