//------------------------------// // Meeting With a Goddess // Story: The Nostalgia Critic, Linkara, and Angry Joe Power Hour! // by CluelessDetective //------------------------------// Princess Celestia smiled as she saw two of her subjects leaving, smiles adorned on their faces. The two had a simple dispute over land and decided to go to Day Court to clarify. The Princess, with her endless knowledge, found a compromise giving each of the ponies a fair amount of land, the two agreeing to the compromise with happiness. Princess Celestia glanced at the clock. Perfect time for breakfast; she could tell the guards she was taking a break and- “Your Highness!” A deep voice boomed across the throne room; it was a guard running up to the throne, panting. Oh life, why do you hate me so? Celestia thought in her head, but soon discarded the thought and spoke to the guard, “What seems to be the problem?” “Princess, there's a chariot approaching the castle!” He gasped, trying to catch his breath. “And?” She asked, honestly irritated by the guard busting through here and stating the obvious which happens everyday. “Well I looked through one of the telescopes in the tower,” He started, pointing at one of the spiraling pillars, “And I noticed that all the Elements of Harmony are present in the chariot and three weird creatures were seen with them as well.” Celestia's eyes shot open, “Guard, go to my sister and tell her to come here at once!” The guard saluted, “Right away, Your Highness!” The chariot the humans and ponies found themselves in was very spacious, considering it's holding three tall as tree creatures (Pinkie thought of nicknaming The Nostalgia Critic Treebeard because of it and because of his name being a mouthful), and six average sized mares. If anything, their chariot was a prison car. Angry Joe leaned his head out of one of the windows of their horse powered vehicle and looked dead ahead, seeing some of the most exhilarating architecture ever, it looking like it was mimicking something from one of his video games. The one word to describe the castle was magnificent as it was built within a mountain, giving it an even more fairytale look. The castle for the most part was pure white, save for some yellow and even purple here and there. The height of the castle was almost as tall as the Empire State Building; all Joe could do at this majestic sight before him was to stare in awe. Joe broke out of his trance when he heard the hoofsteps of the flyer's landing on the stone floor. The nine friends quickly filed out of the chariot, and were led to two giant wooden double doors.To the six ponies, this was a basic thing, but to the reviewers was like going to the Pearly Gates; a once in a lifetime chance. The guards walked up to the door and knocked on them. The next thing was all a blur as they all felt a powerful force grab them and drag them into the room ahead as the double doors opened, only to abruptly shut and lock after the ponies and humans were all inside. The friends all slammed against the floor as they entered, or in this case, got dragged into the castle with ludicrous speed. “What the hell just happened?” Groaned The Nostalgia Critic as he stood up from the powerful choke hold from god knows what. "It seems we were pulled in this castle by something," stated Linkara, "And the room we are in appears to be the throne room." "You are right, Linkara." Responded a motherly like voice from the far end of the room. Everyone and everypony in the room quickly moved their heads to front of the room, and when they did, the three reviewers were awestruck, and the six ponies bowed. Standing(or sitting on the throne) before them was a white unicorn, garbed with royal regalia. Two things stuck out to the reviewers with her appearance and the first one was with her hair. Sure, they've seen multicolored hair, but not multicolored hair that flowed in the air! The other thing that they noticed moments after looking at her was that she wasn't a unicorn at all, more of a Pegasus Unicorn hybrid due to them seeing wings perched to her sides. "How do you know my name?" Asked Linkara, approaching the alicorn. "I was the one who summoned you three here." She responded sweetly, hoping the three would understand. "So let me get this straight," Said Joe, his voice rising, "You took us away from our carefree lives on our Earth and placed us here for your amusement? And what happened to the two kids you abducted?" "No harm has been done to those kids, Angry Joe," The alicorn responded in a calm voice, "I have sent them back home." "You still haven't answered his first question," The Nostalgia Critic said, "Why did you abduct us?" "Because, The Nostalgia Critic," The motherly voice returned to her, "You have been chosen to protect this land." "But why us? Isn't there a better choice?" Linkara asked. "No there is not a better choice," She answered, "We have seen you beat them before, and you will need to do it again." The reviewers stared at each other before Angry Joe spoke up, "Who?" "They call themselves Dr. Insano, Cooperate Commander, and Douchey Mcnitpick. They have appeared from a portal much like you, but for nefarious purposes." "So you made those kids fall in the portal so we can investigate and be sent here to defend this world?" Linkara asked, just now understanding this pony's reason for taking them here. "The kids weren't supposed to fall in there," the princess explained, "We only meant for you three to fall down. As soon as the kids arrived, we sent them home." "Well that solves one thing," The Nostalgia Critic, "But why are some of our most dangerous rivals here?" "Yeah, he does have a point," Angry Joe commented, "Why are they here?" The princess' horn flashed and a portal appeared in front of her. "If you look inside this portal, it will answer your questions." She explained, and soon the three looked at each other, and then back at their six friends, who were approaching the portal as well, and they all put their heads into the portal of time. A portal sliced through the air in the elegant hallway leading to the throne room and three humans' poked their heads out. Nothing moved an inch, not even the guards for a yawn or a stretch. In the distance birds could be heard chirping away, the peace and quiet was soon assassinated as a giant portal, much bigger than the one the reviewers came out of, rippled into existence and three figures stinking of malevolence casually walked out. One of the men who came out of the portal wore a white lab coat and swirly shades perched atop of his head. His hair was of a brunette coloring and oh so very curly. He let out a deranged laugh as he yelled, "I TOLD you two my portal device would work!" The other one who had also had a lab coat, but with normal looking spectacles and hair that only and nobody else in the galaxy but his mother would love. He waved one of his hands and said, "BAH! You didn't even get the location right Dr. Insano!" "Shut the fuck up Mcnitpick! Do you know how hard it is to make a functional portal device AND to get the right location? Just be happy you are here in the first place and that we agreed to let you come along and not Mechakara!" Soon the conversation turned into an argument, and the two were using the most nefarious tools to use at such a time: name calling. They called each other "Poopyheads" and "Fucknuggets," but before they could say that they were an "Obama Lover," a evil and nastily voice rang out with, "Shut up both of you!" The air became silent and heavy as a pair of cold, unforgiving eyes(or faceplate in this case) stared at the two of them. His suit was charcoal gray and his tie was blood red with a ghost white shirt underneath. A silver faceplate blocked covered his face and probably blocked his eyesight too while a blue helmet with a white strip in the middle was perched on top of his head. Whenever a consumer hears his name, they tremble. Whenever Fox News hears his name, they clamor over to him to wipe his ass. But to a simple man he is known as: Cooperate Commander. The two soon bowed and said in unison, "Forgive us Commander." "You are both Fucknuggets!" He yelled, "I picked the destination!" "But why here sir? Why not Earth or Mars?" Dr. Insano asked the Commander. "Because my good doctor, this place is brimming with marketability! Just imagine the sales of pony toys! Hasbro's sales with rocket!" He let out a despicable laugh and Insano soon joined in. However, Douchey Mcnitpick ended the bonding time with, "You do know that there are two guards listening in on our conversation the entire time right?" The two exchanged glances and then to the oak doors, seeing two guards staring at them with malice raising their pikes in a fighting stance. Doctor Insano just laughed and pulled out a raygun and fired, turning the guards into ash. The three approached the double doors and all raised a leg and kicked. "Thank you guard for bringing me this. You may continue patrol near my sisters quarters." Said a smooth and motherly voice to the guard in front of the owner, who saluted and trotted off. Princess Celestia of Equestria let out a smile as she looked at what the guard had brought her; a double chocolate cake with vanilla icing. A personal favorite of her's(although she did get some glances by Luna whenever she ate it. She always wondered if her sister was silently judging her). She licked her lips and brought a forkful of the cake to her mouth, but was soon interrupted as the double oak doors flew across the throne room with a clatter causing Celestia to drop her fork. The three beings that entered the chamber looked alien to her, and gave her the feeling they were not friendly. "Who are you and what are you doing here?" She asked as her horn flared up. The one in the gray suit cleared his throat, "I am Cooperate Commander! And these are my associates Doctor Insano and Douchy Mcnitpick. We are here to dethrone you and rule this land with microtransactions!" "To ensure that we will destroy you right now!" Laughed Doctor Insano, pulling out the raygun and pulled the trigger. ...Except nothing happened. "Son of a bitch!" Yelled Insano, "I forgot to completely charge it! Dose anybody have a weapon?" "Oh! I have a pistol!" Said Cooperate Commander and he soon pulled out a USP, but soon put it back saying, "Fuck. I forgot the bullets were DLC." "So... Should we come back later?" Asked Mcnitpick and the two nodded in agreement. "We will be back in four days ruler of this land!" Cooperate Commander said, "And in that time you should prepare for our attack on the castle!" He laughed evilly as they left the castle, and said, "Now not even The Nostalgia Critic, Linkara, or Angry Joe can stop us!" The nine companions took their heads out of the portal and it disappeared with a pop. The alabaster princess was looking down at them and asked, "Do you now see why I had summoned you three here?" The Nostalgia Critic nodded, "Yes we do. You called us here to protect your castle and your kingdom." "Will you please help Equestria?" The princess asked, and the three reviewers looked at each other and nodded. Her eyes beamed with joy and said, "Thank you. Now, I think we should-" but the sound of her stomach growling stopped her from continuing. She let out a light blush and said, "Sorry, I have yet to eat. Would you all like to join me for some breakfast?" Angry Joe shrugged, "Why not." The other eight quickly agreed(especially Pinkie), and the princess walked them down to the dining room, talking to the three humans about Equestria, while hearing them talking about the villains that gave the princess the time line.